I never asked her, if there was someone who she likes. What was I for a friend? What if she loved Donghae?... What if I was an obstacle to her? Would I give up on Donghae? No, stop – since when did I like him? Was there ever a signal? Through my blindness did I hurt her? I was a really terrible person. It was me who had no sense of this world. I was too cruel to realize it. I was so busy with protecting myself that I couldn't face it. Did I fall for him? Just like that?

“Ah, shut up.” Saki whispered and left the room quickly. “I can't believe she leaves like that.” Nat muttered loudly and let go of her book. Then she gazed at me, for a long time. “I am not in love with Donghae, Lucia. So, don't look at me like that?” “How am I looking at you?” I asked as tears tried to rush up. “Hurt, unsure, fragile.”

That word again... I was fragile. What was left to do? I turned around and looked out of the window. The sun was shining brightly. I wonder why she didn't lend me her strength. She probably despised me as well... Everybody should have done so. Was I even worth to be loved? What do I had to do to obtain true happiness? What was it even I was seeking for so desperately? “Get yourself together.” Amber yelled at me and boxed me into the stomach, but not lightly.

I coughed and tried to get up. “There's no reason to cry like a baby!” “Amber, stop.” Minji stopped and pushed Amber away. “Why? Do you see what she's doing? She's drowning in her self-pity!” “She probably feels sorry for herself.” Claire went on and stood up from her bed. “Why feel sorry? It's not like she has serious problems! A million people feel pain out there! Some even know that their last hour has arrived! Still they're holding onto their life!”

“Amber, just be quiet. Let her get back to herself.” Minji told Amber and clenched her hands to fists. “Takes pretty long, loser.” Amber hissed and pushed me backwards. “You'll hurt her, Amber!” “I can't stand people like her! Drown in your self-pity!” “Enough Amber, enough. There was no need to make a face like that, Lucia.” Natalie explained and sat down beside me on the ground. “You should be so happy.” She smiled at me and patted my head softly.

“As I said, I watched Donghae, not because I like him, but since he is in my class, it was inevitably. You see? Donghae was used to meddle around with everyone and he got a every girl he liked. He even beat down some guys he disliked. He was like a kid back then, and he still used to be one before you came. I don't know if anyone noticed of you, but Donghae hasn't meddled with anyone lately. He's also not dating now, see? It's like he matured in just one week... Since you're here.”

I just stared at her. I couldn't imagine Donghae beating up someone, but seducing the girls... I already saw it. What Nat said was also true in some points. I hadn't seen him dating lately, what didn't mean he wasn't, but since I visited this place every evening... But there was no way he would change for me. I didn't know why he changed, but maybe he hadn't grown tired of the girls here. I also could tell why, they were all the same. “It must be Lucia's charisma!” Minji suggested and smiled at Natalie. “I have no-” “Everybody has. Ones are more magical and some doesn't appeal. It's all in the eye of the beholder.”

“Donghae didn't change because of me. You're all assuming too much for your own sake.” “That's true. He might not have changed because of you, but he did. That's fact and something you can't change as well. He might like you and he might like you not. That's up for you to find out, but for now you have to think of yourself, Lucia. How are your feelings for him? And especially, what are you feeling for Kyuhyun?” “Hatred. I'd like to rip his head off of his too skinny body!” I growled and Natalie stood speedily up.

“We shouldn't mention his name again near her.” Claire made a very good suggestion and Minji helped me up from the floor. “You have time to think over what Natalie said. Just think about it, you have time, but you also have to concentrate on school? Yes? Don't lose your head.” “I won't lose anything, guys.” I muttered and laid down. What's that for a Saturday? I closed my eyes and fell asleep immediately. I guess that day was too much stress for me.

“Are you awake?” I turned my back to the annoying voice and tried to continue sleeping. “HEY! You're awake!” it screamed, but I still wasn't moving an inch. It's Sunday, screw off. “Get up!” Useless, useless, useless. “Kyuhyun is on his way to inspect our room.” “Sure.” I mumbled and opened my eyes. What did she just say? “WHAT?” I sat up straight and looked at Amber, who seemed to be very amused. Of course, that was just a lie. “You're so mean.” I protested and threw my pillow at her head. “YAH! What's that behavior of yours?” she asked and I shrugged my shoulders, “Ah, anyways. It's time for breakfast and also time to face the cruelty of this world.”

“Cruelty?” I asked and smiled at her. There was nothing so cruel that I could fear it. “Kyuhyun.” she answered simply and I felt how my smile disappeared. He was really creepy to begin with... “Well, there's no way I'd meet him.” I meant and pointed at my alarm-clock. “See, it's already 9.20am. It's much too late for his breakfast.” Amber just nodded and threw my pillow back. “Let's just see...”

About 10 minutes later I was ready to 'face the cruelty' of this world and actually found nobody in the dining hall, besides some stupid freaks at their math homework. But I refer everybody to be a freak as long he likes math. “So where's the cruelty? Obviously-” “There.” she meant and pointed at something behind me. “It's not Kyuhyun, right?” “Why don't you turn around?” she asked and I shook my head. “Embarrassing if our eyes would meet.” She just nodded and rolled her eyes. I know that is embarrassing, but... I was not a total turn-off! No, I mean I was no turn-off at all! “What is he doing?” Amber smiled and looked again in his direction. “Hmm, he's talking to 4 girls... He shakes hands with them. He's smiling. Wow, he's so good-loo-” “Amber, please.” I mumbled and she looked back at her tray.

“He's happy, huh? I hope they will his brain out, if there's one.” I smiled at myself and suddenly felt a hand on my shoulders. Please, don't let it be Kyuhyun.