“So, in my second year here I joined the arts club. What a fool I was.” Amber began to tell and pointed at my jacket. “Back then just the coolest girls wore such jackets. I wanted to have one to, so I assumed that if I join them, I may will be able to get one with a great pattern. That was the only reason why I joined, for me it was highly important to be like one of these girls... I guess you know what mean.” I nodded and finished to fix the jacket. “At that time I secretly had a crush on Kangin, ah, Kim Youngwoon. One of Donghae's, like you call them, fellows.” she admitted and lay down on her bed.

“He was thin and really nice.” So he must be the one with the ... robust body structure. “We dated as well.” I jumped from the bed and turned back to her. “You.. what? Dated him? No, don't tell me, let me guess. Then he left you like nothing happened.” I guessed and she shook her head. “How can you be so wrong? He's not like them, though they are all the same now.” Amber mumbled to herself and sighed heavily. “Anyway, no, he always reached out for my hand. It were his parents who pushed me away from him, who separated us. I think they thought that I wasn't the right one for him. Don't even think of mentioning that in front of him! That was long ago. He already has forgotten about me! Okay, back to my story. The day he left me alone in the room. He left behind me and my broken heart...”

“Out of anger you destroyed the room, right?” I knew that she was going deeper and deeper into the story, but that was her past. I couldn't let her go back in time. It would only cause her pain. “I did. My life was destroyed back then. You probably can't imagine it. I hated his parents from the bottom of my heart.” I nodded and kicked against her bed. “I will go to bed and study a bit. Don't you dare to disturb me, but just by the way... Where are our roommates?”

“Ah, every Friday evening you can eat dinner at one of the restaurants in the city for nothing. It's some kind of special treatment from the principal...” “You didn't go, because you wanted to help me, right?” I asked and she looked with a vulnerable gaze at me. “Please leave me alone... Join them.” I meant and she got her body up. ”You can join as well.” “No, thanks. Studies are most important for now. Have a good time.” I refused her invitation and smiled kindly. “There's nothing I can change, hmm? Well then, have a good evening without us.” She left the room quickly and I hoped that she would have a good time with the others. 

I sat down right away to study, but after 1 ½ hours I was empty; no power was left. I sat down on the window board and looked up to the sky. It was already pretty dark outside. But that was no wonder since it was about 10pm. I wonder if they could stay longer outside than usual, since no one came back for now. Maybe the rule that everybody had to be in their own rooms after 9pm didn't apply here.

If that was the thing... I took my jacket and left the boarding school. I knew immediately where I needed to go to recharge my battery. I was such a loss at Japanese. In the last hours I learned more than 120 vocables. Boah, I was so done. I went through the trees just to find my place of happiness. I sat down near the little lake and leaned my head against the tiny elevation. The wind softly touched my face and the grass kindly tickled my cheeks. I smiled, because I was really relieved to know that such a place existed. 

I closed my eyes and thought of time back then. So much time passed by. Still I honestly had to admit that I missed the time. I carried it within my soul. That was probably why I was the person who I was. I treasured these memories inside for such a long time. I wondered if I could just let go of them. The time now was so different. Nothing reminded me anymore of how it was in the USA. Everything was different here, but this place reminded me of the time. I didn't know why, it just did. The memories suddenly came back. They were always haunting me, maybe it was just me who didn't realize it.

Immediately tears were formed and ran down my cheeks. One after one. A never ending flow. I lifted my head up and looked over the calmness of the lake. I suddenly heard foot steps and stood up. I just went like automatic when I faced the one that was watching me. I didn't know how long he stood there, watching me in silence. I also hadn't the power to say anything. “Rule breaker.” the person said and stepped into the light. “Lucia Black.”