I’m having a bad day. It’s Thursday so club meeting day in the afternoon. In the morning during the short break time or recess I was in the school cafeteria. I have club duty in the library so I can’t eat with my friends. There’s the customary queue so I line up to grab a sandwich. I saw Sehun and Choa talking near the line. Choa is his classmate and she looks serious talking; Sehun’s eyes are on the floor face blank as usual. As far as I know Choa is rank number one and also the president of the class. As the line move I heard what they were talking about. Choa is trying to convince Sehun to be her best friend for the project.

“…Please. I badly needed one.” said the ever so bubbly Choa

“The thing is…” Oh Sehun begins.

“You still haven’t said yes to anyone right?” Choa ask eyes expectant.

“How should I say this? Um… You see…” Looks like he’s out of words.

Our eyes meet but I just look at him.

“So? Is it okay?” I heard Choa said

I hold his gaze a few seconds before I turn. It was my turn to order anyway. If he’s more concern about his relationship with his classmates then fine my sandwich is more important than him.

Truthfully, if he likes someone else to do a biography about his dry and uneventful life then he is free to go on and choose. Find someone else. Is he ashamed of me as a best friend that’s why he couldn’t let others know? Just coz’ I’m like this? I’m not one of the prettiest like Seolhyun. I’m also not as smart as Minah or Choa not even popular like Jinri. Maybe he’s not sure I’m the right person he can easily call best friend that’s why he can’t answer Choa directly.

After I paid my sandwich I glance at them Sehun’s eyes on me. I look at him pointedly the turn my head sharply as I leave.

I speed walk towards the gym which was located at the farthest behind the two buildings. I heard someone calling me behind but I didn’t dare to stop and look. The person finally catches up and blocks my way. I was so close to my destination darn it!

“Soojung wait, are you mad?” he said inhaling deeply. I’m sure he run.

“Why would I be mad?” I said calmly as I walk pass him.

“Because you look mad. Did I do something?” he ask brow knitted together matching my pace. I talk to him every day but it feels weird talk to him in person in flesh and face to face.

“Look if you’re having a second thought about me; go ahead you’re free to pick whoever you want.” I said to him.

“That’s not what it is. Choa was just-” he argue.

“They why are you acting like that? Are you ashamed of me?” I demand as I stop in front of the back door. The truth taste bitter.

“What? Where did this comes from?” He asks indignant, nose flaring in frustration. From you and probably my period. A small voice in my heas said.

But instead I said “From what I’ve seen.” I swipe my card and open the door.

“You’re not allowed here.” I remark as I close the door on his face. Only varsity players have an access to the gym’s back door since we used it as entrance. It’s good to be a varsity player.

Such an unpleasant morning. I’m not sure if I can stomach my sandwich anymore. I already start writing in my diary so what should I do? Rip the papers because my ‘best friend’ isnt sure if im worthy enough?