Day 30: “We haven’t spoken in like ten years but now you’re inviting me to your wedding in person and oh wow turns out I was in love with you this entire time whoops AU”

You can’t always have life the way you want it to be

Tao never thought that a wedding invitation would make him cry like this. Sure, crying out of happiness wasn’t that hard to imagine, but this kind of crying, heartbroken wailing, was not what he expected himself to do so when he opened the envelope which contained the while letter, decorated with letters in gold.

“You are invited to the wedding of

Wu Yifan and Kim Junmyeon.”

When Tao left SM corporation, leaving all his colleagues, his friends, behind with the hope to not torture himself any longer by having to see his boss every day, he knew Yifan wouldn’t suddenly return his feelings if they would ever talk again. Tao knew better than to expect the impossible. Yet seeing this as the first communication between them in ten years hurt him more than he could ever prepare himself for.

Tao knows who Junmyeon is. The male is around Yifans age and has a job that’s just as respected as that of Yifan, totally different from Tao himself. He is younger, probably less mature than Kris’ wants his lover to be and his job was nothing to be so proud of.  Yet Tao doesn’t hate either of the two. He wishes Yifan all the best and he can’t blame Junmyeon for falling in love with Yifan since he did the same at some point.

-x-

“Tao?”

“Mhm..”

“Will you go to hyungs wedding?”

“…”

“Tao?”

“Yes, I will.”

“Will you go with me then?”

“…”

“Tao, please..”

“Sehun, you know how I feel...”

“And you know how I feel, Tao.”

“Sehun, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Tao, you can’t always protect me. I want to protect you this once.”

“Thank you, Sehun.”

(I love you, Tao.)

(Sorry Sehun, I can’t love you back.)

-x-

“Does anyone object to this marriage?”

(silence)

(very soft whispering)

“Tao, if you still want to…”

“Sehun, why would I ruin someone’s happiness in order to gain my own?”

(Because you’re slowly withering,

and it hurts me to see you like this)

-x-

“Tao, nice to see that you came.”

“Of course I came, how could I possible miss your wedding?”

(Well, considering your sudden disappearance and the fact that we didn’t speak in the past ten years..

And I can see you hurting.)

-x-

“Sehun, what are you doing here?” Junmyeon asks when he sees the younger in front of his door. Sehun doesn’t return the smile Junmyeon gave him and the older notices the bad mood of the boy he considers his younger brother.

“Just give this to Kris.”

-x-

Yifan,

I would have been so proud of myself if this had been a wedding invitation. One like you send me two years ago. I would have been so proud if I could tell Sehun that I finally moved on from you. But I can’t. I wasn’t not strong enough.

You are happy and I’m not so selfish to ruin that for you, nor will I blame you. This is my choice and it was my weakness that I couldn’t move on, that I couldn’t find my own happiness without clinging to the past.

Now I hope you’ll live as happy as you looked on your wedding and maybe, one day, you’ll think back to that colleague of yours, remember how he always messed up the things you requested him to do and how you only saw him after 10 years on your wedding after his sudden disappearance.

I’m sorry Yifan,

Huang ZiTao

-x-

“It is better to lock up your heart with a merciless padlock, than to fall in love with someone who doesn't know what they mean to you.”
― Michael Bassey Johnson, The Infinity Sign