"I'm sorry, Jae..."

You struggled in keeping your sobs in as he stared at you with confused and hurt eyes.

"What? Why? Are you okay? Is everything okay?" Jaebum asked continuously as you looked away from him, not bearing the pain you're feeling as you watch him get desperate for answers. "Babe, why are you apologizing?"

"I-I can't..." You breathed out as you shook your head, stepping back as Jaebum tried coming closer to you. "We need to break up, Jae."

"Why? D-Did I do anything wrong?" Jaebum asked, his eyes welling up with tears as he tried looking into your eyes. "W-Why are you suddenly—"

"I'm sorry, Jaebum. We're over."

You walked away from your boyfriend for years, keeping the pain and suffering to yourself. You didn't tell him the reason. You knew if you did, he won't let you go.

He'll just continue to suffer while loving you, knowing that you won't be his for a long time.

It's better to break his heart earlier than late.

But you still did break another, not earlier nor late, it was all him.

Fresh red petals fell from above as the box that carries his once brightest star, now gets buried several feet from below the ground, dimming its light as it gets farther down.

The silent cries and whimpers are the only sounds heard in the middle of the cemetery. The young man stared as the coffin that carries your body disappear from his sight, flowers getting thrown down in memories of you.

His hand reached out for it, a stem of red carnation in his fingers, slightly gripping tighter before dropping on the top of the box, which he hopes will stay with you for a long time. His best friend watched as Sehun couldn't shed a tear now that his tears must've been drained already for the last few days of suffering.

His eyes were blank but held too many emotions, grief was the most prominent reflection that you'll see.

Everyone was there.

The only gathering that made your relatives, friends and family together. The only time that everyone tried comforting each other. The only moment that no one hates each other.

In front of the covered soil, you lay under the layers of dirt, never will be seen again.

Sehun's heart was still with you.

He feels like his heart was being buried too.

✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗ ❥ ✗

"Hey." Chanyeol called as Sehun glanced at him, slightly smiling as he looked back in front of him.

"Hey." Sehun greeted back, his eyes roaming around the empty beach.

Your family invited everyone for a simple lunch near your home, which is the quiet and ordinary eatery near the sea. Chanyeol was still hesitant to be close with their relatives but he's trying to be as friendly and as approachable as possible to them.

He knows you would do the same thing.

"Did you eat already?" Chanyeol asked as he sat next to him in an indian seat, folding his long legs to a cross, his left hand holding a little notebook. Sehun nodded, his hand grabbing the water bottle beside him before taking a sip.

"Yeah, I did."

Chanyeol glanced at the little notebook, his thumb slightly the cover, before speaking.

"We..." He started, catching Sehun's attention. He turned to Chanyeol with a questioning stare before his eyes went to the notebook. "...moved noona's things in the storage. I was taking the things on her desk when I found this in her drawer. I know I shouldn't be prying but I think you should have this."

Chanyeol placed the little notebook on Sehun's lap with a sad smile. His eyes welling up with tears for the nth time.

"She—She really likes writing." Chanyeol nodded as he slightly sobbed, he looked up and breathe out.

Sehun let his fingers rest on the cover of the notebook, tracing the words on top.

| "Dear Diary" |

"Have you read it?" Sehun asked, a little bit afraid to open the notebook. It was your diary, where you write your thoughts and things about your life. Should he really have it?

"I-I kind of read little bit at the back. I gave it to you because of it." Chanyeol mumbled as he stood up, patting his pants clean before ruffling Sehun's hair. "I'll go talk to Jaebum hyung."

Sehun followed Chanyeol's figure as he met your ex-boyfriend, wearing all black and his eyes were puffy.

He must've got hurt so bad, just knowing about your condition when you're already dead.

Jungkook and his family were there too, talking with your parents.

Sehun looked back at the sea, the calm waves relaxing him and the wind blows his messy hair, before he looked down on the little notebook on his lap. With a sigh, he slowly flipped the cover open and started reading your first entry.

August 12, 2016

Dear diary,
Jaebum finally asked me out. We've been colleagues in KLM Writing company for a few months now, I like him at first sight. He's the sweetest and the most gentleman that I've ever met. I'm actually surprised he chose me when he's good-looking and intelligent, almost every woman that sees him squeals in delight, while me, a plain and ordinary girl gets the spotlight. I guess, that's all for today. I still have to write the articles for the upcoming issue of our newspaper. I'll be back!

— (y/n)

As Sehun reads further, flipping the pages with focused eyes, learning new facts about you.

How you hate cockroaches, how Chanyeol annoyed you while you're working, how your boyfriend surprised you on your birthday with a video of him singing and a cute bracelet made by him, how your family went to have camping at the mountain, how you took a picture of Chanhee as she got medals in her Recognition