…

My heart flipped over my chest and my fingers squeezed the sheets underneath. Would I do that? Killing someone? Would I really do that for her? Would I commit a crime for Taeyeon? I lowered my head, wondering if I even had the guts to do that. Killing a person? I closed my eyes, feeling an ache surge in my heart.

“I...” I gulped, trying to imagine a situation where I could be killing someone off. Trying to imagine the reasons why I would be killing someone off. Does she want me to kill someone? That man who took all her friends away? Would I kill him for Taeyeon? “I...”

“I’m sorry... I...can’t.” I said, feeling all my body getting numb this time. “I... can’t really do that. I'm sorry, Taeyeon...”

“Good.” She said making me open my eyes in surprise for her reply. “You are a person, Tiffany, not a slave.” Her stare became serious and firm. “Learn to say no.”

“I... I didn’t mean that way. I just meant I would do anything in order to help you... not-

“Don’t you dare. Doing anything. For another person other than yourself.” I blinked for the way she said it. “People toy with people like you. Being like this, you’re totally ed.”

“Taeyeon?”

“You're just a fly, the little guys, they kill for fun. So stop! You’re ed all right and all for spite, and one day, you’ll kiss your sorry goodbye and they-

“Taeyeon, you alright?” I asked cupping her face with my hands. “What are you talking about? What’s wrong with you?”

She quickly shoved my hands away. It worried me when I noticed a drop of tear on her cheeks. “They will mess you up. They will you up.” Her chest rising up in a fast speed.

“Taeyeon?”

“So don’t you dare do all that stuff for a person, you hear me, Tiffany?”

I was shocked by her sudden outburst.

“Don’t you dare doing everything you can for another person other than yourself! Never give so much of yourself to another person! Never give that much power to somebody else! Do you understand? Not even to me!” My eyes enlarged as I heard those last words. “It’s just… wrong! It’s idiotic! It’s-”

Feeling warmer somehow, I hugged her. “Hey, it’s okay.” I said to her ear. “Shhhh, calm down… it’s okay…” I hugged her stronger. “It’s okay, Taeyeon. I’ll be fine.” “I’ll be fine. We’ll be fine.” I guaranteed. “I trust you, that’s all. That’s all.” I said, caressing her back.

“It’s alright...” Her breathing in my neck started to normalize. “It's okay...”

I repeated, feeling herself calming down as the weight was finally lifted from her chest. My heart just beating desperately. “I'll be alright.”

~~*~~

“You are... just like Juniel...” She said, her expression changing to reflect some pain.

“I am?”

“So innocent... so naive...” Her eyes seemed distant. “She couldn't see the bad in people too...”

“Taeyeon....” I called. “Have you ever wondered...that we don't see bad in you...because you're NOT a bad person?” I asked, lifting one of my eyebrows. “What's so bad in doing what we can to help you? We care about you. It's not about being naive or innocent...it's just about...helping you out. Why is it hard to understand that?” She looked away. “Hey... look, I know what I've been doing has been unprofessional and reckeless, I know that. And many times I had a voice in my head telling me to step back.”

“Why didn't you?”

“I don't know. You were always there. In my mind.” I answered honestly. “Since the first day we met, you're always here.” I said, pointing to my head. “You always drew me in for some reason.”

“I told you.” She rolled her eyes. “You're just as mad as I am.” I smiled. “You are really lucky, Tiffany.” She said, a little bit serious. “You're a really lucky I'm your only patient. Any other patient and you would have been screwed.”

“Irene was my patient too.” I replied. My memories returning. How is Irene? Who is her doctor now? Is she still angry with me?

“Irene...” She sighed... “Next time...you see her...” I blinked upon hearing her talking. “Tell her... I'm sorry.” Our eyes met for a couple of seconds. “For her friend... I...” She shook her head. My insides got warmer. “I didn't mean to...The girl was just...playing around.” I held her hand.

“She said Heechul's name... and it sounded...like she was mocking him... I got angry...”

“Taeyeon...”

“And...the voices in my head...” She hissed, covering her face with her hands. “I'm sorry, Doc.” She apologized amongst sighs. “And I wasn't wearing any jacket...and I couldn't... stop.”

I didn't say a thing because there was nothing really I could say. I respected that brief moment of conscience she was having.

“I'm sorry.” She asked, her voice bargained in shame.

“It's too easy, you know.” She started after a moment of pause. “Killing...” I felt all the hair on my body lift up. “All you gotta do... is start.” “You start with criminals, thieves, druglords, killers and rapists... you tell yourself that you're doing for the greater good. That the world is better without those people.” “The next day, you're killing everyone that comes in your way.” My heart beat faster. “Innocent people, good people, cops...teenagers...” I closed my eyes. “You realize... people... are just... a walking sack of meat.” I gulped a lump in my throat. “And you can cut them... and smash them... and shred them to pieces...” “Don't start, Doc. Don't take this route. Ever.” “Because when you do... ... There's no turning back.”

I broke the space between us and hugged her one more time, resting my chin on her shoulder.

“I won't.” I whispered. “I never will.”

~~*~~

As she covered herself with her sheets and laid on her bed, I kissed her and proceeded to stand up.

“Taeyeon...” I called when I had finished putting my clothes on. She turned her head to me. I spent a couple of seconds staring at the marks of tears on her cheeks. Do I tell her about the lawyer? Do I tell her about the chance we’re having to finally set her free?

“One day... You’ll get out of here.” I guaranteed. I expected her to smile but she didn’t. She lowered her head, avoiding my gaze.

“I wish I could, Doc.” She replied. “I wish I could.”

~~*~~

It was already 1am and I still couldn't go to bed. I was well awake, my eyes watching the show broadcasting on the TV yet my mind was miles away. There was something making me extremely anxious and nervous but I couldn't quite grasp what it was.

The only thing I knew is that it was related to Taeyeon.

She wasn't okay. She wasn't fine. There's something wrong with her, I can tell. Everything felt weird today. From the talks we had to even the . It was different. It felt different. The way she touched me, the way she talked, the way she looked at me, everything was out of place and so… unusual. She was so close yet so distant at the same time. I wonder what she is feeling now. Was she bothered by something else? Was she till bothered by what Yuri said? I wish I could just call her and ask if she is alright.

“Wait for it, Taeyeon...” I muttered to myself. “Just you wait. And I'll get you outta there.”

~~*~~

There's definitely something wrong with Taeyeon. Especially because she had requested to be left alone in the SHU for today. Even after she was found innocent in the murder of that inmate, she had preferred to be at the SHU other than her regular cell. I couldn't understand why.

“I like it better this way.” She had said, but since when? Since when has Taeyeon preferred to be at the SHU?

“Taeyeon...please, tell me what is bothering you.”

“I'm fine, Doc.” She dismissed. “Sometimes, I just wanna be alone, that's all.”

“You're weird ever since Yuri had that argument with you… are you still hurt by what she said?”

She shook her head. “I'm not. I think it is for the best if I stay here.”

“Why?”

“You know… trying to avoid problems. It seems it's all I ever do in here. I reckon my attitude is rough for you too and you're doing your best to make me happy here. I appreciate that, Doc. And I think I should be a little more grateful for that. So, it is for the best for me to stay here. I need to avoid problems, avoid any buzz around here. I'm fine being at the SHU by myself, I've been many times before. I'm used to.”

“You need support and counseling.” I stated. “If you stay in the SHU, our sessions won't happen.”

“They happen all the time, Doc.” She said, raising her eyes to me. I frowned. “Whenever you come down to talk to me, that's a session, is it not? Whenever you come trying to understand my worries, that's a session, is it not? Whenever we're having , that's a session, is it not?”

“That's a different kind of session.” I said, not hiding my embarrassment for her remark. Taeyeon chuckled. “Official sessions must happen regardless. It's the only way to show them you're getting in line. I'