“You alright, Tiffany?” Yoona asked me. I was quiet that day. Actually I was quiet ever since my argument with Taeyeon. Days have passed since then, but I was still feeling guilty. The way she looked at me...the way she talked… It wrecked me. That week was honest one of the worst I've ever had. It was a dull, lonely and hateful week. The hateful part was totally on me though. If I hadn't bluntly accused Taeyeon of killing Dr. Young, she wouldn't have been mad at me and I wouldn't have been mad at myself. Yes I was mad at myself.

I know what I said might put some sense in her head but at the same time I couldn't overlook it. It's really wrongdoing of me to go there and suddenly accuse her of killing Dr. Young when she hadn't. And calling her a loser when in fact she was an inmate and had nothing here, it was very dickish of me.

“I'm alright.” I tried not to make her worry but my voice came out rather lifeless.

“No, you are not. What happened?”

I sighed. “I might have said something hurtful to somebody.”

“Was it a friend?” She asked curiously.

“Sort of.” Was it a friend? Was Taeyeon my friend? Since when she stopped being just a regular patient and started to be someone I deeply cherished?

“Have you tried apologizing?”

“Yes, but she didn't want to hear it.”

“Have you tried apologizing?” She asked again and I frowned my brows confused.

“I've just told you she didn't want to hear it.”

“Was it an honest apology?” Yoona raised her eyebrows expectantly. “Sometimes we say sorry for our mistakes but they don't really sound genuine. Sometimes we say sorry but then we're doing the same mistake over again the next day. When you think about it, we didn't really apologize. To apologize is to reckon you won't do it again and now that you'll be more self-aware of your words and actions to not hurt again.”

My eyes fell to the floor beneath my feet. She patted my back. “If you truly apologize and explain yourself, I'm sure your friend will forgive you.” She smiled kindly. It made me feel a little bit better. Just a little bit...because...The thing is...my friend was Kim Taeyeon. She wasn't exactly the person you expect to forgive. She is actually rather ruthless.

“ROOKIES COMING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! ROOKIES COMING!” Shouted one of the officers inside of the facility. Some of the other officers cheered up. The officers and the doctors around the refectory quickly rose up from their tables and left the place in order to have a look at the new incomes at the front yard.

Saturdays were the days the family members and friends come for visit. I was deeply relieved that Asylum allows visitation. It's a great support for the residents to re-encounter their dear ones. The resident and the visitor are deserved a private booth. The “booth” is a see-through cabin containing a desk and chairs. Touching is not allowed and to prevent any 'extreme' behavior, the inmates are handcuffed as well. Officers stay put outside the booths for any emergency.

Walking through the corridors Yoona smiled as we passed by Sooyoung talking to another woman.

“That's her sister.” Yoona cared to explain. “She comes every weekend.”

“That's awesome.”

“Yes, it is.”

My eyes squinted when they recognized Taeyeon inside one of the booths. At first, I thought I was delusional, but no… It was her! I would recognize that face anywhere! What she was doing here? Why was she out of the SHU? And who was that woman she was talking to? Friend? Sister?

Taeyeon's expression wasn't the brightest, to be honest. She seemed to be only listening to the woman than in fact engaging in a dual conversation.

“Huh, Yoona, do you know who is that talking to Taeyeon?” I didn't really expect her to answer the question so when she did, it kinda surprised me.

“You are in first name base with her?” She asked raising her brows. “That's really nice. It seems like you two are getting along well.” I felt my cheeks burning. “And that...is Lee Soonkyu.”

“Is she a friend of hers?” She chuckled a bit. I blinked, confused.

“She's actually Lee Sooman's niece. She often comes here to check how things are going. Some say she gives personal reports back to her uncle.”

“Why is she talking to Taeyeon?”

“Whenever she comes here she takes her time to speak with some of the residents. Seems like today was Kim Taeyeon's turn.”

“But I thought inmates in the SHU were isolated all times.”

“They are. But when the niece of the chairman demands to talk with one of them, it no longer matters if they are in the SHU or not.”

I nodded my head understanding. My eyes never being away from Taeyeon as we were walking to leave the building. I would give my life to hear that Lee Soonkyu was saying, but I decided to finally look away and follow Yoona.

~~*~~

Even after Sungmin and Baekhyun left my office, I was still silent. Taeyeon was back to her cell after the week in the SHU, and now was back to my office for her formal session.

The tape was there swirling, recording that session, yet I haven't said a word. The last talk we had was still haunting me. Taeyeon was sitting on the chair across of me, her hands were cuffed behind her back to prevent her from hurting me physically and her eyes were glancing at the floor. I knew she was still hurt by what I have said.

There was no right way to start that interview other than apologizing myself.“I'm sorry.” I hoped she could sense the tone of honesty in my voice. “I'm really sorry. I was a jerk to say that.” She didn't move an inch. I gulped, feeling that whatever we had between us might never be the same again. “I never meant to accuse you...I-” I swallowed hard, trying to not cry. “I wanted to understand why you did what you did...but I was inconsiderate and very thoughtless. I'm really sorry.”

Her eyes still kept looking down.

“It's really hard for me to deal with you. You are so unpredictable… suddenly you are pulling this jokey persona and then you're not. Suddenly you're lying and then you're not. I don't know what's is real and what is not.” I sighed feeling that I was releasing my struggles about her. It was somehow making me feel better. “I don't know you. I don't know Dr. Young. I don't know Ho Sung. But I know that if you don't show me who you really are then I will always have to find out by other sources… and though they might not be true...it seems the only way to find out more about yourself. You can't blame me for believing them. You can't expect me to doubt a doctor's word when you never really tried bother denying them in any other way.” Again she didn't move an inch. Her eyes were still glancing at the floor.

“I want to understand you, Taeyeon. But you don't believe me. You take me as a rookie and as such you think I have no skills to really help you...and because of that...you don't trust me. You don't tell me anything. You don't tell me what's going on or how you're feeling and that frustrates me because I wanna help you and you don't let me in.” I felt my heart beating faster than usual. “Please...Let me in.”

Her silence was somehow mortifying for me. I was so used to her sarcastic answers and jokes that her lack of response was one of the worst things happening to me.

And then she moved her eyes up, looking straight at me. “I'm really sorry.” I repeated. “I'm sorry I accused you of killing Dr. Young. I'm sorry I called you… a loser.” After a couple of seconds, she moved her eyes downwards again. I guess she is still hurt. I mean, I don't really blame her. What I did was kinda dickish.

“I'm really sorry.” Her eyes looked at me again. She raised her brows and looked down again. I frowned not really getting what she was doing. I decided to follow her line of vision and realized she was glancing at the voice recorder on my desk. She raised her brows again and made a movement with her head pointing to the object. Does she want me to turn it off?

I cleared my throat. “It seems you're not gonna cooperate today.” I said rather sheepishly. “Doctor Stephanie Hwang, interview with Kim Taeyeon is finished.” I pressed the button, stopping the recording, once I've finished speaking.

“Finally, toots! I thought you would never figure that out!” My heart pounded even harder when I heard her calling me toots. She is calling me toots… That means… That means she is alright! That means she is back! It was such a relief I let some tears free down my face. She giggled finding the situation quite amusing. “You're a lost cause, Tiffany Hwang.”

I know! “You're not mad at me?”

“Not anymore. I mean...it doesn't really make sense to hold a grudge against you after all.”

“Huh?”

She smiled, showing a bit of her dimple. “I was mad that you just seemed to go to my cell to talk about that doctor I killed...I barely remember him… And after what I did for you… you just go there to accuse me of killing someone I hadn't...”

“Huh?”

“It's not nice, Doc.” She said shaking her head. “It hurts.”

Whatever she was talking about it didn't make any sense to me. “I'm not following.”

“You should be careful with your words, toots.” I felt my cheeks burn when she called me that. She leaned forward and whispered. “Especially in a place where the walls have eyes and ears.” She said looking around the room. “And a name per se.” She quickly added.

“Huh?”

“Kwon Yuri.” She stated. “She listens to the tapes.” My eyes snapped wide open when she pointed to the voice recorder on my desk. Wait, what? Yuri listens to the tapes? The interview tapes? “If she hears that you brought me candy, you will be fired.” My head was spinning. I don't think I was really getting what was going on. She seemed to notice that because she chuckled and explained further. “I saved your , Feisty Fanny. Try saying thank you instead.”

I was still in shock. My brain was trying to process just what has happened and what I've heard. She saved my . That's what she said. She saved my .

She really did.

If Yuri knows I smuggled candy for an inmate I will indeed be fired. And that will probably be on my resume… Doctor Stephanie Hwang fired for s