Our relationship got better and better over the days after she opened herself to me. She was still doing her jokes here and there, but her soft side was even more noticeable. And every time I walked inside her cell, she'd greet me with a smile.

Our sessions became much more cozy and friendly as she tried to answer my questions with honesty. In some occasions, she would spend some time playing with her own building blocks, other times I let herself draw on her sketchbook. One day, I brought her a coloring book, and there were times where she got so focused on that, she would forget about everything else around her.

I learned to not ask her so much about Heechul and her friends since it is a very painful memory for her. I understood how those memories could trigger some real bursts within her. She's still angry to this day. She's still full of rage for what happened before her eyes in such a special time of her life. It was a little bit difficult for me not to be affected by her moods as I knew that when she was vulnerable it was somehow related to that specific event.

Like when she was uncomfortable by looking one of the cards in the Rorschach Test before, was because she remembered her friend's death. The red blots on the cards are easily recognizable as blood and Heechul-Oppa died on top of her, with blood oozing from his chest. It's like a view from a nightmare.

The very sentence Heechul told her “You don't have a saying in this! I'm the oldest!” is the same she told Yuri once, when she was trying to prevent Yuri from leaving her. “You can't leave me. You're my friend...and friends don't leave each other behind, remember?” She yelled at Yuri, back then, I didn't understand what she meant, but now I do. She was desperately trying to make Yuri stay by telling things her own friends once told her. Things that trigger some real pain from her.

I wonder how many times Taeyeon cried at night remembering of her friends. I wonder how many times she was so obnoxiously caring-free in the morning but by night, so lonely and scared. I wonder how exhausting must be to keep this anger within. So, I decided to do an experiment with her.

~~*~~

“Okay, Tae, I want you to try something with you.”

“Here in broad daylight at the middle of the yard?” She blinked. “Sassy.” I didn't let myself to be carried out by her remark.

“I know at first you won't understand, but I think this could really help you out.” She frowned her brows.

“What are you up to, toots?”

“I want you to pretend I'm him.” I said boldly.

“Him?”

“The one who killed Heechul.” I saw Taeyeon squint her eyes.

“What?”

“I want you to pretend I'm that man.”

“Why?”

“Tell me everything you always wanted to tell that man.”

“I don't want to tell him anything.” She shook her head. “What are you planning to, Doc?”

“Well, you see, when we have some feelings kept within, they can hurt more than we know. And sometimes letting it out is what makes us-

“Sorry, Doc, not interested.” She quickly said, placing her hands inside of her pockets.

“Taeyeon...”

“I don't want to tell him anything, really.” She rose her shoulders.

“You sure?”

“Yes. I want to kill him.” That made my heart beat faster. “I want to break all his bones, pluck all his teeth out and chop his off! You better be happy that I'm not interested in pretending you're him.”

“Well, I...”

“Doc...” She called, stepping in front of me. Her hands leaving the pockets and resting over my shoulders. “I can't play this game. There's nothing in you that could resemble that man. It's impossible for me to look at you and pretend you're that despicable person.” I looked down. “Besides, we're in the middle of the yard, if I yell at you, the officers will come and shoot me. I'm really done with those electric shocks.” My lips tugged upwards. “I know you want to help me deal with that, but don't go that way. It won't work.” My heart kept beating faster but now for a different reason. As her hands moved up and her fingers caressed me behind my ears, my cheeks blushed in pink. She smirked. “Now, where's your sassiness at, little pig?”

“Yah!” I pushed her away. “Stop it.”

“Now you're embarrassed? After calling me out in here to “try something different?”

“Argh, you're so...”

“Charming?”

“Condescending!” She giggled making me feel all fuzzy inside.

~~*~~

As the days kept passing by, Taeyeon became much more 'tamed' for so to say, and I had instances where officers came asking me if she was sick or something because they'd never seen her so chilled and serene as she was now. She returned to have her meals alongside other inmates as well, which was a relief because I really think she needs to see other people face's other than my own. I tried to indulge her in talking to them but she refused, 'they're crazy, Doc' she once said and I let her do her own thing.

Later, I asked Lee Soon Kyu if Taeyeon could have her recreation time together with the Regular Penitentiary inmates. She doesn't belong to Intensive Care. There's nothing there that could mark her as a 'non-valid sanity'. Her improved behavior let Soon Kyu agree with my position and Taeyeon started having her breaks with common inmates.

She didn't try to stand out at first, but with her orange jumpsuit was impossible not to. Everywhere she went, inmates would quickly spread themselves apart from her. Because Sooyoung belonged to R.P, I always checked if she was alright. I know Taeyeon had promised me she wouldn't hurt her, but I caught myself always having a look around her just in case.

Just like before, Taeyeon started requesting her sketchbook to draw during recreation time and I allowed her to have it. She would sit by the same tree and start drawing whatever was in her head. One of those days, while I was walking alongside with Yoona around the yard, she caught my eye. I was so engrossed in watching her, I didn't hear Yoona calling me. For a moment, I had even forgotten she was with me.

“Tiffany!” She burst suddenly.

I blinked and turned my head. “Yes.”

I saw her brown eyes darken. “Remember...just a patient.”

“I know...”

“It doesn't seem like it.” She said it almost instantly. “I can see how you look at her. I know she's way past the patient line by now and became someone special to you. But you can't let that 'special' become...” She didn't finish the word. “You know what I mean.”

“I won't ever allow it, Yoona.” I dismissed, not really brave enough to look at her eyes. “Yes, she is my favorite patient and she became my friend, but that's all. What you're implying is just...disgusting.”

“Don't act like if it is impossible to happen. We all know cases of doctors engaging in relationships with their patients. It's unethical for us and in this particular environment, illegal.”

“I know.”

“Remember, you'll lose your license…” Why she was being so pushy?

“I know. You don't need to remind me of the consequences, Yoona, I'm pretty aware of it.”

“Oh, you know, sometimes they can slip through our minds.”

“Won't happen to me. I always have that in mind.”

~~*~~

The next thing I knew, my mouth had opened wide and captured Taeyeon's lips between mine, giving her a deep kiss. In no time at all, Taeyeon had me up against the wall of her cell, trapped by her body.

Taeyeon's scent was intoxicating and I hated myself for wanting more. My nose dug deeper into the crook of her neck and I inhaled deep. Oh, God. That scent did things to me that I couldn't understand. All I could do was craving for more.

I was a mess of sensations. My desire becoming evident, as her hand made headway into my underwear.

“Tae...” I softly breathed out.

“Hm.” She hummed o