“You alright?” She asked softly in my ear. My body was so relaxed from my ual frustration release, that I was at floor, unable to be standing. The desk behind me was only giving my back some support to lean in. Taeyeon was on my lap, her hands just wrapped around my waist. My eyes were close as I was still reviving the feelings of what just happened between us.

“What have we done?” I muttered, exasperated.

“Hey...it's okay, we're gonna be okay...”

“No, we're not.” I said, still with my eyes closed, shaking my head. I felt tears drowning my eyes up a bit. “Everything's changed now.”

“It is not. I promise nothing will change between us...”

“Do you really think this is only about us?”

“Why would be about somebody else?”

“Do you know how wrong it was?”

“There's nothing wrong in that.” She said calmly. It was much softer than earlier, when she was telling me things. “I wanted it, you wanted it. There's no wrong in that.”

“Yes, there is. You can't live your life just doing things you want to! You need to understand that there are some rules and they need to be followe-

“Is this the doctor-patient thing again?” She interrupted. “That is just a stupid convention. You can't possibly believe that doctors don't grow fond of their patients… And if there is a rule about this thing, that basically means that happened many times before.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“You shouldn't blame yourself for this nor feel guilty about it. It's okay.”

“It's not okay, Taeyeon. Can't you see the proble-” She shut me up with a kiss. Once again, I found myself at her mercy. It took a couple of minutes for us to actually break it apart.

“If you didn't want to… you'd push me away… But you never did.” Because you make me weak! Damn you, Kim Taeyeon! “You wanted it.” My cheeks blushed. “And there's no wrong in that.”

“Taeyeon...”

“Give yourself a little bit of freedom, Tiffany. In a place like this, a little bit of it might be the only thing stopping you from getting mad.”

That hit a bit in the chore. It felt like she was talking more about herself than anything. She leaned in closer, hugging me, and my forehead fell to her shoulder. It was slowly becoming my favorite place for some reason.

“They won't know.” She assured suddenly. “They won't know about us. No one will, I promise.”

I stood quiet, just taking in those things. Her words, her scent, her soft breathing, her hands on mine. It was so surreal to be there with her like that. It was so amazing yet so simple. If those walls didn't belong to a penitentiary, everything would be much easier… So much easier.

“You don't understand.. This is really dangerous. There's so much in game right now. I can't possibly let it happen.”

“It already happened.” I controlled my urge to roll my eyes on that obvious statement.

“Happen a second time, I mean.”

“It already happened.” She said grinning kinda cheeky.

“Taeyeon...” I called her out for her matter-of-factly commentary.

“What?” She giggled.

“You know what I mean.”

She exhaled. “So now what? We pretend that it never hap-”

“Happened.” She nodded her head in disappointment. She quickly got up from my lap, and turned herself around, showing her back.

“Is this what you really want? Get back to that?”

“Taeyeon, please… It's what we can bear.”

“If you say so.” She proceeded to walk and sit casually on the chair in front of the desk.

“Taeyeon...”

“Get up, Doctor, we need to finish this session.” Her voice was coldly and sarcastically. I sighed, feeling the awkwardness again.

Slowly, I got up from the floor, brushing my hair with my fingers, and adjusting my clothes to its proper way. The smell of arousal was still present in the air, but in due time, it would gradually be gone. When I sat down, facing her just there meters away from me, I gulped. My heart beating fast still. “Please, Taeyeon…. Try to understand why I have to do this.”

“I understand.” Why does it seem she's angry though?

“It's for our own sake.”

“You're not doing a good job pretending it didn't happen yourself, Doctor.”

“I just don't want this to be awkward.”

“We jut had , Doctor. Of course, it would feel awkward.” I nodded my head, understanding it. It was for the best to ignore it and focus on to not be bothered by it. I cleared my throat and press the button on the voice recording, retaking the interview with her once again.

It felt absolute mortifying to keep that on with Taeyeon in there. All I wanted to finish that off, go back home, have a cold shower, cover myself in my blankets and forget that we got laid. That was something only presented in my fantasies and it was alright and inoffensive being that way, but now it wasn't only ual fantasies… it really happened. And that feeling, that memory, that scent, everything about it...would kick back in again eventually. I was really scared of that because if I ain't cautious with it, that could become a sort of addiction.

And addictions are never good.

“So...after all that...are you willing to speak true?” I asked her suddenly, trying to retake the conversation of before “the happening.”

“Aren't you gonna use your ty training to know if I'm being honest?”

“Still think I'm a bad doctor...huh?”

“You're a good doctor. What is bad is your personality.”

“Honestly...Taeyeon...I don't get it...Why are you so angry at me?”

“I'm not.”

“Yes, you're. You're angry. Hurt. What's wrong?”

“You wouldn't understand.”

“What's up with that? You know I'm the best person in here to understand you.”

“You're wasting your time, Doctor… I'm not easily understood.”

“No, Taeyeon. You're wasting your time.” I said it back. “You're wasting years of your life in here. How long has been since you've arrived here?” She didn't answer it, but I noticed her looking away. “The picture in your files show a rather young Kim Taeyeon… You were barely in your early 20's in here, isn't that so? And now look at you, almost a late 20's… You wasted the best years of your life in here.” The flickering tears in her eyes made me feel my heart ache for a second, but I didn't gave in. “And if you don't change, you will keep yourself stuck in here. Don't you wanna go out? Live a normal life again? To meet up with your friends and have a welcome back party? To enter college and find yourself in path of a good career? Life ain't those walls, Taeyeon. It might be fun for you to not care about these sessions…but it won't be fun when you realize you've spend your whole life in here.” I saw her exhale as the trails of tears marked her face. I found myself fighting my urge to not be moved by that. “Those papers can say how psychopath and crazy you're, but I know you're not. You're not a bad person. I know you committed crimes. I know you did bad things. But I also know that you are able to love and care. And I'm here to show them that.”

The way she wiped her tears with the sleeves of her jumpsuit made me sigh in relief. I knew I was finally braking her walls. I wanted to hug her, to hold her hand, to give her any support. Taeyeon became a piece of my life. Now that we have actually had , even more. She was inside me a couple of minutes ago, but now, I was the one getting inside of her. In a different way, but at the same time, it felt much more intimate.

“So… please...tell me… Why you're angry with me?”

It took a while for her to say it. “You promised you wouldn't leave.” She muttered weakly.

“I didn't.”

“You ignored me. You gave Mister Lee the key and left me alone.” Was it still about that?

“I had to give him the key.”

“Even after the rain stopped, you didn't show up. You were gone. I didn't have lunch nor dinner that day.” I felt a warm feeling inside of me.

“I'm sorry, Taeyeon.”

“You didn't show up the next day. For two days straight, you're gone. I thought you had been fired again. I thought you had been so mad at me you had actually resigned. I thought something bad happened and you were dead.” I felt my heart melting. It was stupid how weak I was to that woman.

“Taeyeon...”

“I knew you were angry with me...after the things I said that day. But I was angry at how you were ignoring me and avoiding me. I was angry that suddenly you became this person that it was never you. And I'm angry now because you still want to be this person. You still want to ignore and avoid me... and that will only push us away.” I sighed, closing my eyes.

“It won't push us away.”

“Yes, it will. It's what always happen. They always go away.” She muttered her last words. I gulped the lump on my throat and gritted my teeth, trying to suppress my tears.

“Taeyeon...” I called… but she didn't look to me. She was being honest to me so I decided to bid the bullet and ask what was on my mind. “Why do you think everyone goes away?”

“Because they do.”

“You have this constantly feeling that you're left behind… does this have something to do with your family? Do you feel like you were left behind by your parents?”

She looked away instantly and I respected the silence the came shortly after. My heart was beating abnormally fast and loud, awaiting for it. “Yes.” It was her answer and I tried to convey that as professional as I could.

“Why?”

“Because I was.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Childhood talk, huh?”

“Taeyeon...I know this is hard… but sometimes...”

“Do you believe in ghosts, Doctor?” She asked me suddenly, and due to nature of that question I blinked obliviously.

“Come again?”

“Do you believe in ghosts?”

“Huh….” I was trying to understand what was with t