My heart sunk in my chest when I saw her leaning against the wall, curled around her knees, wet and tired. Her head was sunk between her legs and if I didn't know her any better I'd say she was crying in silence. Not giving a slightly for what Yuri would think of me, I got closer, knelt myself down in front of her and with a towel I borrowed in the showers I placed it on her shoulders.

She lifted her head up and I saw her large brown eyes gleam in a gesture of gratitude. I used one of the sides of the towel to clean her face. She closed her eyes and raising her chin up, she left her head rest against the wall. In a complete comfortable silence, my hands moved to use the towel to dry her cheeks, chin, forehead, ears and the top of her head.

“Don't go.” I heard her low voice say, a bit muffed by the towel in her face.

I looked at her. “Where to?”

“Away.” My heart beat faster.

“Why would I go away?” I asked trying to comfort her but in all honesty I was breaking down inside. I knew that I was just one step away to be in trouble. As much as I dare to defy Yuri words and the Asylum itself, I knew Ho Sung had power to fire me if he knew about Taeyeon being my favorite patient. And I doubt that what I am doing now is gonna be overlooked by him, or any other person in here.

She raised her shoulders as if saying 'I don't know.' “Just, don't… go.”

“I won't.” I said feeling my eyes burn. She was vulnerable. Again. Just like I saw her in the SHU, she was that vulnerable again. It made my heart broke down. “I won't go away.”

She nodded her head, closing her eyes again. “Thank you, Doctor Hwang.”

“You can call me Doc.” I quickly said. She smiled, though it was very far from being the smile I saw when she was under the rain.

“I know I can call you Doc. I can even call you Feisty Fanny.” I chuckled.

“Yes, you can.”

“Thank you, Doc.” She said rather politely.

“You need to change your clothes.” I said realizing that if she stayed with wet clothes she could get a cold.

“I can't.”

“Why not.”

“Inmates only have one spare of clothes. That's why they throw me the bucket of water. I wouldn't have other spare so I need to stay with those till my uniform gets completely dry.”

“s!” I cursed, annoyed. Her eyes were still closed and in a vain attempt to at least dry her clothes a little, I pressed the towel against her shirt and pants. She was still barefoot and with the towel I cleaned her feet and toes, just to be stopped when I got to clean her right ankle.

“How many scars you have, Miss Kim?”

“Four. I have one just above my right ankle that I got when I fell from stage...”

I gulped, feeling completely uncomfortable. She did have a scar above her right ankle! What the ? Was that for real? She was telling the truth? Does she have four scars? My eyes start to burn and my heart started to ache. I sniffed, feeling my nose runny.

“You alright, Doc?” She asked upon hearing me sniffing.

“I...” God, I was so sorry. “I'm sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I.. didn't believe you.” I said, feeling ill. “You said...you had a scar above your right ankle… and I didn't believe you.”

“Of course you didn't that's why I told you.” I blinked.

“What?”

“You're so convinced I'm a liar that even if I tell you a true story you'd still think -

“It's a lie.” I finished remembering what she told me in our very first session.

“See? I was right. You can't tell when I'm lying or telling the truth.” She smirked, showing her pretentious side again. It's been a while since I saw it the last time.

“Is it true then? All four scars?” I asked curiously.

“In a level yes.”

I frowned confused. “In a level? You mean they are not literally scars?”

“Oh no, they are. They are those types of scars you can never forget. Deep buried in your soul till the day you die.”

Emotional scars. Okay, something really deep happened to her. Something so extreme that made her lost it. It made her not give a anymore. “I'm the kind of person who is always digging its scars, you know.” Well if that's true then somehow every time she remembers about those scars she gets vulnerable.

She was the happiest I've ever seen under that rain. “I'm a broken person. The rain… washes the shards away.”

“Your very bad day...” I started. “It didn't happen when it was raining, did it?” I asked softly.

She looked up to the ceiling. “No. It was sunny, hot and sweaty. Funny how flicks fool you around.”

“I'm sorry.”

She chuckled quite amused. “Today you're feeling sorry for so many things…”

“I...”

“It's not your fault, Doc.” She shook her head.

“I know but...”

“I'm alright.” She assured with a faint smile. I knew she wasn't. Whatever happened to her, it still torments her to this very day. “Thanks for caring about me, Doctor.”

“Of course I care about you.” I said comforting her. “I will always care about you.” I noticed her eyes widened in surprise. They quickly got clogged up with tears and that wrecked me. Was she about to cry? The jokey sarcastic Taeyeon would consciously cry in front of me? “T-Taeyeon?” Her tears easily fell from her eyes. It made me extremely uncomfortable. “W-what's wrong?” She didn't reply. Her tears just running free across her face. I guess there was something triggering her emotions. My heart was so broken I just wanted to hug her. And that's what I did. Well, sort of. I saw how her expression quickly changed and attempting to make her feel fine, I placed her head over my chest, my hands caressing her dark strands of hair. “H-hey… it's okay… it's alright...” I said, softly, trying to calm her down. My hands over her head trying to comfort her for whatever may have triggered her. “It's alright… Everything is alright...”

“Please don't go away.” She said, muffled against my chest again.

“I'm not going away.” I said feeling my eyes clogging up with tears as well.

“Please don't go...” She said again, this time weaker. God, this was the most heartbroken I've ever seen from her. “Don't go… Please... Not again...”

Again? I never left in the first place! “I'm here. It's okay… I'm here.” I said feeling my tears swollen my face. “I won't go. I won't go away.”

“Don't... lie to me...”

My heart twisted. “I'm not!” “Did I ever lie to you?”

“Everyone lies.”  I could notice her voice raspy. And there was snot from her nose against my shirt. And that was when I knew there was something else happening with her because out of all people who would cry with a snot, Taeyeon would be the last person I'd bet my life on. “Everyone lies... to me.”

“T-Taeyeon...”

“Please...don't.”

“It's alright… it's okay. I won't leave, I promise.” I heard her sniffing. My hand caressed her back. “It's alright...”

“Doc?” She sighed.

“Yes...”

“The scars… They...hurt.” I ing lost it. God help me. I was her doctor, I needed to give her support. But there I was, stark wrecked.

“I know…” I whispered. My voice died down and I couldn't speak properly. “I know.”

“Please, make it stop.”

How could I do that? What a ty doctor you are, Tiffany!

“I-…”

“Please, make it stop.”

“I-I don't know what happened to you… I d-don't know what those scars are...” I said, feeling more tears run down over my face. “But sometimes… feeling the pain and crying is the best medicine. I know it hurts… but c'mon… let it out. Just cry. It will make you feel better.” I tried reasoning. She sniffed again.

“Please… don't... Don't...leave me alone.”

“I won't.” I cleaned my face with the sleeve of my clothes and I felt my heart sunk deep when I saw a bunch of officers and doctors around us. Yoona and Seohyun were looking at me with a compassionate expression, while Hyoyeon had a very shocking expression on her face. I didn't know what to feel. I didn't know what to do.

“I...” My voice died.

“I'm sorry, Doctor Hwang.” Lee Sungmin said and he lowered, pulling Taeyeon away from me. I shook my head. She groaned and pushed him away, or tried, but he was stronger than her. “C'mon, Kim, help yourself.” He said, his voice a bit different from when he used to tell her to shut up. She lowered her head, her dark hair doing its best to cover her face. And taking a deep breath she deliberately placed her hands behind her back, waiting for the handcuffs.

Why were they cuffing her? What she did wrong?

After the handcuffs were locked, she started walking, following Sungmin quiet with her head down. I could still hear her sniffing.

“What she did wrong?” I asked oblivious to all other people surrounded.

“She can't stay here.” Seohyun gently replied “She's out of her cell for the whole day. It's against the rules have an inmate out of its cell for so long.”

“But… she needs to clean the building up. Every corridor and every corner.” I said still completely emotionally destroyed by what happened.

“We have cleaning personnel for that.”

“But-

“Tiffany...” Yoona called me. I looked at her. She got on her knees and looked me in the eyes. “I think it's for the best if you go home.”

“B-but...”

“Go home. Take a rest.” She advised. I didn't want to go home. I wanted to help Taeyeon. She clearly needed help...but I knew they wouldn't let me see her. I sniffed and exhaled, feeling my heart ache still. Yoona raised from the floor and offered her hand for me to grab and stand up. “You need a ride?”

I looked at her. “I can drive you home.” She said softly. I don't really think I was mentally stable to drive anyway. I nodded my head, accepting the gesture in gratitude.

“Thank you.”

“C'mon.”

I looked down on my feet and started to follow her. My mind though never really stop thinking about Taeyeon.

For the most of the way back to my place, Yoona and I were quiet. I knew she wanted to say something, but whatever it was, she ended up not saying at all. Once in a while, whenever there was red light, she'd ask me “Are you alright?” And I would just shake my head.

I never felt so heartbroken in my entire life. A big part of this was due to Taeyeon's breakdown, the other part was due to the officers and doctors witnessing what happened. The words would quickly travel to Yuri or even Ho Sung and...

“Am I gonna be fired?” I asked her suddenly after one of those red lights. Please, no. God, no. I promised her I wouldn't go away.

“It is not a decision of mine.” Was that a yes? A no? It was so vague. “Just to be clear, I think you're a great doctor.” I looked at her. Months ago I would be proud, now, I was just there, listening and expecting this could lead me to stay on the job.

“She needs help, Yoona.” I said, my voice breaking down again.

“I know...” She sighed, compassionate. I gulped, feeling my heart still ache.

“She's...so hurt...and alone...and...”

“Tiffany...” She called me and I looked at her. My face bloated for all the crying. “It's dangerous to think this way.”

“What?”

“If you think this way… that she's alone and hurt… all the wrong things she's done will be overlooked by you.” I looked down. “The feeling surrounding you about her would be pity… and you can't feel that for inmates. You have to remember she's just your patient. Personal matter can not interfere with your diagnosis, let alone, your treatment.”

“She needs help.” I said, looking to the side, barely listening to her any longer. I was tired. I was emotionally exhausted. “She needs my help.” I closed my eyes, letting a silent tear run down.

“Well, out of all people, I genuinely think you're the only one capable doing it so.” She complimented. “I've never seen her behaving like that before… that was very… intense.” Yeah, it was. “And, from the bottom of my heart, I really wish that you won't be fired. You're a good doctor…” She repeated trying to make me feel better. “Moreover, if you are fired, I think that would leave Kim Taeyeon rather devastated.”

God, please, no, don't make Ho Sung fire me. Anything but this. Please. I can't leave. I promised her. I wasn't a liar. I couldn't be a liar to her.

I didn't know if it was for the whole mental exhaustion, all those nights without sleeping or all the tears I let ran, but it didn't take me long to sleep once I got home. My bed never was so inviting and the sheets have never been warmer. And I just wished Taeyeon could have the same.

~~*~~

My heart was beating faster and faster on the way to the Asylum. I had no idea what was gonna happen to me. But one thing I was sure of.

Everyone was aware of what happened the day before.

Everywhere I went, I got looks from other doctors and officers. I was now officially known by all as Kim Taeyeon's Doctor. I mean, not that is totally a bad thing, but it was more comfortable when they didn't know that. Yoona, Kyuhyun and Seohyun avoided talking about the issue, which I was somehow granted for, but it wasn't unusual to walk past a corridor and notice officers whispering things to each other.

I was convinced I would be fired and that Saturday would be my last day at this place. So, when the hours went by and Ho Sung didn't really call me to meet him up in his office, I was more and more angst. Why was it taking so long? What was going on? I know he is aware of what happened. There is no way he doesn't know.

Maybe Yoona talked to him and convinced him to let me stay. I don't know. In my head, Ho Sung wouldn't let me stay pretending nothing happened. However, as he didn't call me or anything, I started to at least try acting as if everything was alright. I walked past the yard, not getting surprised when I didn't meet Taeyeon there. I don't even know why I was there in the first place. Taeyeon was the only patient from Intensive Care I knew and I kinda felt like she wouldn't be outside, so why was I walking through the yard with that hopeless idea that I could suddenly meet her in her orange jumpsuit sketching on her notepad?

The urge to visit her and see how she was coping was too strong but I knew it was for the best not to. So fighting my inner feelings, I just went with the flow; waiting the time go by.

When I saw Sooyoung, I met her one last time to give her the last macaroons I was owing her. “You okay, Doctor?” She asked upon seeing my blunt facial expression when I found her in her recreation time. The thing was… I had exchanged macaroons in order to know the name that c