I closed my eyes as I lay down on my bed. My heart beating anxiously after what happened that day. She kissed me. Kim Taeyeon ing kissed me. My head was going insane thinking about that. Does she feel any thing for me? Does she like me as much as I like her? Did she only kissed me as a way to thank me? Was that all but a gratitude kiss?

Out of all ways I could imagine Taeyeon kissing me, that surely wasn't the first to come into mind. I had fantasies with Taeyeon before, she kissing me roughly and dominantly, which then would lead to something else, but that was not the case. She kissed me gently, to thank me for everything I did so far. Maybe she didn't feel like words could be enough and took one step beyond and decided to kiss me. Whatever was the case, I actually enjoyed that.

That moment was so short but so incredible. Everything seemed to be back into place because Taeyeon was there with me. Everything seemed to be better because she was there with me. The warmness in her eyes, the softness of her fingers… it was just amazing. It made me go over the moon even if it was just a gentle kiss. It made smile from sheer happiness.

I moved my head as I heard my phone vibrating. Someone was calling me. I picked it up, my eyes going wide open when I saw the upcoming call from Yuri. My thumb quickly pressed the green button.

“Hello...”

“Doctor? Hi, I'm sorry to call you… but...”

“Yuri? Oh my God… Where have you been? Are you alright?”

“Can you...uh… open the door, please?”

I felt my heart race faster for some reason. “Yeah, sure. Hold on a sec.” I said, ending up the call and getting up from my bed; going to the living room to open the door, not caring that I was on my pajamas ready to sleep.

I opened the door, letting Yuri come inside. Her face was clean but I was also aware of her slightly puffy eyes, giving her tears away. “What happened? Are you okay? Where did you go?”

“I'm fine, doctor.” She nodded her head quickly dismissing my question. “Sorry to come so late.”

“It's alright. What happened? Why have you been gone for so long?”

Yuri hesitated before sighing. “I wasn't...feeling well.” I felt my heart twist around my chest and trying to make her feel a little bit better, I hugged her, letting my chin rest over her shoulder.

“Please, tell me you didn't quit.” I said, closing my eyes, praying for it.

“I didn't.” She denied and I sighed relieved. “Not yet.”

“Not yet?” I asked worriedly.

“I thought about it for a while.” “For the whole day I was trying to figure my life out.”

“Figure your life out?” I looked at her.

“Yes. Figure what would be of my life if I really quit. What would I do. I'm in that facility for so long, almost five years already, and I don't think I could be anywhere else. However, at the same time, I feel extremely exhausted. It's like I can't take that place and its people any longer. I fell like a balloon ready to explode.”

“I'm sorry, Yuri. There's so much going on right now. It must be really tough for you.”

“That's why I thought of quitting. I was tired of that. I wanted to be gone for a minute. I wanted to be out of that place and begin anew in a different one. A place where people wouldn't need to lie to me. Where people could like me.”

“Yuri...”

“But then… she… started saying those things.” I was aware she was talking about Taeyeon and how she reacted upon seeing Yuri leaving. “Shouting things I never thought she would shout to me. I didn't quite understand what she was saying that time, it didn't make any sense whatsoever. But the only thing that echoed in my brain was that…. She called me… friend.”

I looked at her. “I don't understand, Doc. How can she call me friend when she had cheated on me with my girlfriend? Was that a joke?”

I didn't know what to say.

“Am I all but a joke to her? That she can poke me and laugh at my misery?”

“No! Yuri...”

“How could she do this to me? How can she betray me and call me a friend, Doctor?”

“I...don't...know.”

“I really wanted to quit, you know. The way you took care of her. The way you looked at her...” I gulped hard, feeling my body tense up.

I'm ed up. I know I am. If Yuri tells Ho Sung about my feelings for Taeyeon, that is the end. It's the end of my career, as I might lose my medical license, and it's the end of Taeyeon's life. Yuri may be my friend but if she knew about what I really feel for Taeyeon…it was her duty like it was any other CO to actually report me.

“I don't like her.” I tried to deny it.

She snorted. “I've seen it before, Doctor. It wasn't different from Soyeon.”

“I'm not Soyeon.” I replied, going away from her.

“Soyeon lied to me. Taeyeon lied to me. And now you're lying to me. It seems like everyone lies to me.”

My eyes quickly widened when I heard that. Why was that reminding me painfully of Taeyeon?

“You've fallen for her just like Soyeon had. I tried to warn you but you didn't listen to me.” I looked away, gulping the lump in my throat.

“No, you're wrong. I haven't fallen for Taeyeon.” I shook my head, feeling my heart squeeze because I still could remember the touch of her fingers on my cheeks. I still could feel the taste of her lips onto mine.

She sighed, coming closer to me and resting her hands over my shoulders. “It's been a while now, Doctor, everything you do… you do for Taeyeon.” With no shame on me, I cried a tear. I mean, I know it. I know I like that woman. I think about her constantly and just having her near me was enough to brighten my days. I know I'm ed up lost in feelings for that inmate.

“Are you going to report me?” I asked looking at the floor. “Are you going to report me to Ho Sung?”

She scoffed. “I didn't bring you back to make you lose your medical license, Tiffany.” I raised my eyes to her. “I knew what was going on. I knew that ever since you started meeting her on her cell those mornings, I knew that falling for her would be just a matter of time.” I cried again. “I just hoped you wouldn't. I tried to stop you, but you ended up doing it anyways.” She chuckled.

“Yuri...”

“Besides, if you can keep my secret, I can keep yours too.”

I chuckled, still in tears, and hugged the taller woman in front of me tightly. “Thank you, Yuri...”

“Just...be careful, okay? Don't let others know it, and more importantly...” She paused, making me pay more attention to what she was about to say. “Be careful with her.” That made my heart go wild inside me chest, because after that kiss, I don't know how I would look at her. “I know you don't believe me. I know whatever I'll say will be gone in one ear and out the other… But she is capable to use your feelings in order to seduce you and you know, get some. Maybe that's all she's after.” I shut my eyes, praying for that be a lie. “So… be careful.”

I nodded, recognizing that she was actually trying to help me. “Thank you, Yuri.” I tried to show my gratitude. I know Yuri was trying to put some sense in my head. And it felt good to know there was someone caring about me.

“No prob, Doc.”

“I can't believe I used to think you were a .”

She chuckled. “I'm used to it.” I felt my heart squeeze again.

“I'm so sorry, Yuri...”

“For what?”

“People misjudging you, saying hurtful things to… it must be awful.”

“It's okay.” We got silent for a while as I caught myself thinking about what she just had told me.

“Was that...” I hesitated for a moment. I didn't want to make her angry. It's a delicate issue and to this date, it still hurts her. “Was that all Taeyeon was after with Soyeon?” I asked, looking at the floor, avoiding her black orbs all times.

“Of course it was! She just wanted to get rid of some dust, join up the dots. She noticed Soyeon was an easy target. Just like you're.”

I stepped back, feeling her words have an extra weight on me.

“I'm sorry, Doc… but… you don't think that inmate actually likes you back, do you?”

I didn't answer and Yuri took that short silence as an affirmative. “Do you?”

“I...”

“No, no, no… Doc, listen to me...” She cupped my face and I stepped further away from her, not wanting to really listen. “Doctor...”

“Taeyeon is not open about her feelings. But that doesn't mean she doesn't feel a thing inside. When she likes someone, she doesn't really make way to try telling them that." I hit back. I wanted to hold onto a little hope that Taeyeon liked me, I didn't enjoy thinking that she was using me that way.

“Just because she wants you back with her, doesn't mean she likes you in that extent, Tiffany!”

Ah now she's back calling me Tiffany. I hated that. Yuri always called me Tiffany when she wanted to make her points across. Taeyeon called me Tiffany… when she was grateful to me.

“You brought me back...” I started. “You brought me back to take care of her. Because you knew that she would stop killing once I get there, didn't you?”

“Yes.”

“You weren't thinking about Taeyeon's life when you talked to Lee Soonkyu. You were thinking about your job. About the Asylum being closed down.”

“Really? Are you gonna call me selfish now?”

“'Where all those officers, doctors and inmates would end up?' You asked yourself, and surely would be a disgrace if so many people lose their jobs. They have families to support, taxes and bills to pay. I understand that. I'm not calling you selfish.”

“So… why are you angry at me?”

“Because you're stuck in your misconceptions of Taeyeon!”

“Misconceptions?”

“Why is it hard to believe that Taeyeon could be telling the truth? Why is it hard to believe she could genuinely like someone? Someone like...me?”

“Because she doesn't! She's a liar! A cheater!”

“People always...leave me. Why they are always leaving me, Doc? What is wrong with me? Why they can't stay...with me?” I remembered her tears.

“You tried to kill her once, right?” I asked, gazing at the floor beneath my feet. “You told me that yourself. You were angry and almost killed her...” I started, trying to explain myself. “But… she is...here… calling you friend.” I raised my eyes to her own. “Despite everything, Taeyeon doesn't hate you. She likes you, Yuri. Why else would she beg you to not leave her? Why else would she ask you to stay with her?”

“She was ly-

“She wasn't lying.” I shook my head. “And you know she wasn't. You could feel, couldn't you?” She stood silent. “That's why you were crying. Because though you wanted to quit, there it was Taeyeon asking you to stay, after everything you've been through. Taeyeon did you wrong, and she knows that what she did was wrong.”

I heard her sniff. “And if you talked to her… about it… maybe… that will make you feel better.”

“What?” Her incredulous look gave her anger away. She wasn't very interested in doing that.

“Talk to Taeyeon.”

“About what?”

“Soyeon.”

“Why would I talk to her about it? So she could make one of her stupid jokes again and laugh at my face?”

“No! Yuri, I think you're looking at this the wrong way.”

“The wrong way?”

I actually feel like much of Yuri's struggles could be gone if she just… talked to Taeyeon about it.

“You told me you couldn't understand why she cheated on you… well… why don't you ask her?

“Why are you bringing this up now?”

I looked at the floor, trying to organize my thoughts. “Look, I know it's hard… and well...hurtful. But… uh...”

“I can't believe we're back into this.” She scoffed angrily. “I didn't came back here for you to lecture me how I should forgive that for doing what she did.”

“I'm not saying that. I'm just advising you to talk about it. It's not about forgiveness...”

“Goodbye, Doctor.”

“Yuri...” I tried to stop her but she ignored me completely, leaving my place rather angrily as I heard the thud of the closing door.

I exhaled, feeling bad at myself. Maybe I should learn how to be quiet so I wouldn't hurt people. Yuri was there to talk, to relieve her struggles, and I pushed her away with an issue that I knew it was burdensome. She's willing to keep my secret from others and all ever did was to push her doing something I knew she would never do.

I gulped the lump in my throat and with slow steps, I walked to my bedroom. Lying down on bed, I kept thinking about our short conversation. 'You can't expect her to like you in that extent, Tiffany!'

Why? Why can't I? Taeyeon kissed me. That was an indicative of her feelings, wasn't it? 'She is capable of using your feelings in order to seduce you and you know, get some.'

Was that what she's doing? I mean Taeyeon is in that place for over five years, and she must feel lonely. It's common to have ual deprivation. So, in that sense, kissing me roughly due to ual frustration would be the normal route. She at that moment, could seduce me so she could guess some. But she didn't. She kissed me because she trusted me. She kissed me because she was happy to see me. She kissed me because I was there with her. Because I cared. It was a short and gentle kiss, but that simple and short kiss felt much better than a hot one. That kiss held much more meaning than any gesture from hers. Because above all, it felt like I was special.

It feels great.

It feels great to be special to someone. Especially, to someone like Taeyeon.

~~*~~

I closed my eyes as I stood behind the door. My heart beating anxiously after remembering once again happened the day before. She kissed me. Kim Taeyeon ing kissed me.

“Are you alright, Doctor Hwa