Taekwoon
Destined Souls~~~~~ “What are you scared of Taekwoon?” Taekwoon sat there, entirely unwilling to be in the room at this moment. It was his Aunt who had brought him. He didn’t want to have anything to do with this.
“….people.”
“I know that. What about people?” Taekwoon sighed, thinking this was pointless. The therapist was just asking questions, not helping him at all. He didn’t want to tell her his life story, she wouldn’t care anyway.
“……”
“This is a safe place. You can say whatever you like here.”
“I want my Aunt.”
“I can call her in. Will that make you more comfortable?”
“No.”
“Then, why do you want her here? Just a familiar face?”
“So that she can take me home.” The therapist looked down, clearly able to tell that he was reluctant. At least she was smart enough for that.
“I know that this is scary for you. I know that it’s hard, but I want to help you. I can’t if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”
Taekwoon couldn’t believe that he had actually shown up here, no actually he could. He had come because he was too scared to tell his Aunt no. He had come, even if he had no faith in this woman. She was just as mean as everyone else, and she couldn’t possibly understand what he went through. She couldn’t possibly know how hard just sitting in this room was, let alone telling her his concerns.
“..I’m just sshy.”
“Please, you can’t do that. I know better Taekwoon. You’re 19, you’ve grown out of the shy stage of your life. People who are just shy don’t stutter or slur, they don’t tremble, and they don’t run away. Not to this degree. Please, what are you scared of?”
She wasn’t going to give up, Taekwoon could see that. He had no choice, just like he didn’t have a choice in anything else either.
“…I’m…I’m….People are mean. They kknow I-m a disappointment, sso they won’t accept me…..anyway.”
“Taekwoon, you are not a-“
“I need to go.” Taekwoon stood just as usual, walking out the door just as usual. He couldn’t do it any longer. She had gotten what she wanted, now he needed to go. His head needed time to rest.
His Aunt called out for him, but he just ignored her. He waited till she went in the room to talk with the therapist, then he moved by the door till he could hear what they were saying. He was curious, curious about what was wrong with him.
“What happened?” That was his Aunt’s voice. She sounded worried, but Taekwoon knew not to believe it.
“We went a little far, but it’s alright. He did well, and I can make a diagnosis now.”
“What is it?”
“I can say with certainty after having seen him these past few weeks, Avoidant Personality Disorder. There’s also a very strong risk of depression, but he’s not far enough to say that entirely.”
Taekwoon didn’t need to listen to the rest, that was all he needed to know. Taekwoon found himself stepping away, his breathing growing short.
Taekwoon had known for a long time, however in his heart he hoped he was wrong. He had prayed that this was normal and he was just different. He’s been like that since he was very little, it’s how it’s always been. He thought he had to be normal, but it’s official. He’s not.
Taekwoon didn’t want it. He wished he could steal this away…throw it back at god and scream at him that he didn’t deserve this. He had been through enough, and he didn’t need this to add on.
The diagnosis only meant one thing to Taekwoon. Shy, you could move past. This meant Taekwoon was never going to get better. He was going to live the rest of his life scared, in a constant argument against his own mind. ~~~~~
Taekwoon had truly enjoyed himself while singing, and walking down the stage to meet Hakyeon had made the experience better. Taekwoon had daydreamed about the day that he showed off, however he had never imagined someone would be there with him. A person he actually liked on top of that.
While they were walking away from the stage, Taekwoon was just talking with him. It had been a very long time since Taekwoon could simply speak and not need to worry. He had been startled when Hakyeon gripped his fingertips, bringing to his attention 4 people walking towards them.
Taekwoon had almost sprinted away, however he was able to control himself. Hakyeon was there with him, and Taekwoon needed to remember that he could trust Hakyeon to care for him. Talking to one person had been enough of a challenge, he didn’t need the number to quadruple.
Still, they came and they stopped right in front of the both of them. Taekwoon stood with a cold expression on his face, trying his hardest to remain where he was. The 4 people in front of him, the sight of it was scary.
“Hello.” Taekwoon was grateful, as Hakyeon still sounded happy. How could anyone sound like that all day? It seemed like it would be difficult. Taekwoon knew he surely wasn’t capable.
“Hi. My name is Lee Hongbin, this is Han Sanghyuk. The two people behind us are Lee Jaehwan and Kim Wonshik. We just wanted to tell you that you both did a very good job.”
“You walked over here just for that? Thank you!” Hakyeon said it, and right now they were being nice. Taekwoon figured he should say something as well.
“….thanks.” ‘Great, thank you brain for that entirely awkward reply. You did a lot of good.’ Taekwoon couldn’t help himself, but he knew this was hard. Before Hakyeon came along he would never have said a word, so he
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