April 2016

She loves him. She loved him for two years now. Heading to three. Or heading to crashing down. At this point, she just felt unsure about everything. Except for one thing. 

She loved him.

Two years ago, she had fallen, without realizing. Amidst of thinking, she would never be able to trust a man again. She had known the way he felt for her. But she hadn't believed she could have given it back to him. While she hadn't been in love with him, she had never excluded the idea of giving him a chance. He was sweet, caring and they had quite an amazing amount of common interests. But she hadn't believed she had been able to give it back to him. Not after what JunHyung had done to her. It had taken months for Hyuna to realize all of this had never been right. That one day, when one of her secret meeting with JunHyung had overlapped with one he had scheduled with Hara, and the elder man had let Hyuna down to join her friend.

At this time, not only had the hurt finally made it further into the young girl than what she had been willing to bear but also, JunHyung had met Hara at their place. A place that had meant so much to them by its simplicity and how much unsafe it was, because it actually made it safe. Cube Entertainment's rooftop. 

She had been aware the composer would take Hara on dates, meet at hotels, meet late night with her. But for some reason, the fact that he had used the place where Hyuna had first kissed him, the place where they had shared more than any other else, had made her realize that the composer would do just about anything to keep Hara. Including never breaking up with her if he could avoid it.

"Naturally drifted apart." Had he changed his mind? Of course not. Hyuna had been convinced to her heart that Hara most probably had started to sense something had been wrong and decided to not let JunHyung lie to her any further. She had been wronged. But all she had done was terminate her relationship with him, without seeking any kind of revenge. Hyuna had found this admirable. Inspiring even. And it had been one of the things that had made her choose to put an end to this as well, on their once upon a time cherished rooftop.

March 2013

The dorm's door had opened at the fly, JiHyun almost knocking Hyuna off her feet from how fast she had entered the room. Her leader had been looking for her since this afternoon since the news had come out, which had made her unwilling to take any calls. She had probably come to blame her about it, Hyuna had assumed from her angered expression.

"I'm good with you ignoring my calls but I swear to God, if you fell for his babbling I'm kicking you out of 4Minute!" She had grumbled, pointing an accusing finger to Hyuna.

As much as she had been lost in her thoughts for the past hours, had very well known what her leader had referred to. How couldn't she? JunHyung and Hara had broken up. "Naturally drifted apart." Sort of relieved her member hadn't scolded her, Hyuna had let out a small laugh, reaching for a strand of hair of her bandmate, playing with it absentmindedly. 

"Then I guess you'll have to bear me for awhile more."

"Thank God!" JiHyun had raised her hands to the sky. "I don't know if you realize how much it had been impossible to knock sense into you until last month. Which was far late enough."

"I know. I'm sorry for having worried you." The younger girl had obviously tried to take the situation on her the whole time, not being one to like having people asking her how she was constantly, but it would have been ridiculous to not expect JiHyun to have tried to share her burden, and she had secretly been more than grateful for it.

"You looked miserable without even realizing. I can't believe we were almost about to relive 2010 all over again." JiHyun had said, and Hyuna could have sworn she had seen her shiver.

She had pulled her leader in her arms, hugging her softly. The latter would always be there for her. As well as the other 4Minute members, but there had always been something about her eldest member that made her feel immensely beholden to for anything she did.

"So, what are you going to do? About falling for his babbling, I can imagine he has tried to call you. Did you answer?" 

"No. I almost ended up removing my phone's battery." Hyuna had said, gloomily. A behavior such as staying at your house and being curled up into a ball would be telling of a feeling of hesitation, self-pity or comfort need, but her silence had been a way to fuel herself while waiting for this moment. There had been no way they could have met during the day, and thought the urge to put an end to all of this had been strong, the young girl had waited, patiently, for the night to come. She had pondered and chosen the best way to accomplish her fate, made sure she had had all the right words ready to pass her lips and that there would have been no way back.

"A face to face settlement. That's what I'm going to do." 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He had hugged her in a tight embrace. The kind of embrace that had always made Hyuna lose every bit of sense she had in her. That had always made her lose the control she had had not even a second before their eyes would have met. Anything afterward, would become history, as she would respond to his lips against hers with a consuming passion, sinking herself deeper into his spell. But not this time. This time, she had had no choice but to stay sound. And do what she had had to do. 

"I'm sorry it took this long, baby. It got much more complicated than it should have been. I swear all of a sudden she was so clingy and demanding, I couldn't push her back sooner." JunHyung had said with a painful wince. Or at least he had tried to make it look as such.

"She is the one who broke up, though, isn't she?" Hyuna had asked, indifferent to his coax tentative, taking a few step back to observe the elder man.

"Who said so?"

"Well, I can imagine you really disliked complying with her wills all this time. She must be into handcuffs for you to have felt so forced. Unless if like I am saying, she is the one who broke up."

Words had come out firing out of Hyuna's mouth, not in the order in which she had planned, but mercilessly enough to satisfy her. But for how much hesitating to do this she had been all this time, the young girl had still been surprised by her own sourness. 

On his side, the composer hadn't immediately answered, confusion noticeable on his face as he had stepped towards her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Listen, baby. I see you're not out to believe me on this, so alright. She broke up with me. Anyways, medias didn't a fuss about it, fans either, everybody has already moved on with their lives. In fact, I'm offended people care so little." He had joked, finding himself to be laughing alone as Hyuna had stayed still, staring at him.

Ignoring that it hadn't much been the moment for this, her brain had started to think of what had made her fall so deeply for him. Because truthfully, right at this second, she hadn't been able to tell one bit. One of this silly stuff like his smile, his looks or eyes? And she had been that much silly herself? Silently looking at her, JunHyung had seemed to sense her unprecedented disdain, because his smile had disappeared, leaving place to a puzzled face as his hand had reached for her cheek.

"Hyuna. I love you."

Here had they been again. Those words. Right or false. Truth or lie. Yes or no. No. Hyuna had had no will left to play games any longer.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter