June 2014

"The dream concert is really one of my favorite time of the year! The crowd is always so hyper, even for smaller groups. Can you imagine ‘What's your name's fan chants? I have shivers already! Don't you? Hyuna? Hyuna?"

It had taken those two calls for Hyuna to realize her leader had been talking to her. Sure sure, she had had shivers already. No actually, she had not. The first answer should have been the right one, but unfortunately, she had answered too slowly to be credible, according to JiHyun's reaction virulent reaction.

"What is wrong with you already? Are you telling me I have been talking into the air for an hour? Besides, you are supposed to be helping me. Is this chair comfortable?"

"Sorry." The young girl had mumbled, feeling embarrassed that there had been no possible denial to her member's words.  

However, Hyuna hadn't been able to pretend the Dream Concert had been the first of her worries at the time. Nor had been the dinner she had had to prepare for her members. She had solely wanted to profit of 4Minute's dorm's quietness from the absence of Jiyoon, Gayoon, and Sohyun who had gone to the market to buy some food, to talk to JiHyun. Staying with her to take care of the cooking had just been the best excuse the young girl had been able to come up with to find herself alone with her leader, whom Hyuna had known had been the best out of the many people (to be honest, she had many friends willing to always lend her a hand.) she could have told this matter and get useful advice from. 

JiHyun had planted herself in front on Hyuna, hands on hips, her eyes silently questioning her. Expectedly, the elder girl's expression had softened as she had read through Hyuna and understood everything. Well, there had never been a lot of things susceptible to make Hyuna puzzled, let alone as she had grown up stronger over the years. Except for one thing. Rather, one person.

"Nam JiHyun, part time heart pains doctor, my office happens to be open." The leader had joked, ruffling Hyuna's hair and sitting on a chair of the dining table. They would probably have to just order food for tonight.

"Speak up?" JiHyun had enquired, calmly but firmly. Hyuna had hesitated for a second before she had answered.

"It's about HyunSeung, him and me, rather."

"You don't say."

"I'm trying to gain time here." Hyuna had defended herself, with a pout.

"There is nothing to gain from doing secretiveness with your leader, go on." Jihyun had shaken her head.

Hyuna hadn't known where to start. On one hand, she had been convinced all she had had to do was to wait. And on the other hand, how long would she have had to. The young girl hadn't planned on talking about this to anyone else but her boyfriend, but at this point, she had felt the need to accelerate things by all means. There had been nothing surer that she'd have died of weaning if she had kept trying to hint things to HyunSeung. She had expected him to take the lead, at least for that matter, but for some reason, it had been vain so far. With a deep breath, Hyuna had revealed the source of her worries to the elder girl.

"We…we still haven't…"

Hyuna had felt her cheeks burn a few seconds after she had put her feelings into words. This wasn't the kind of things she'd feel shy to talk about, having had to become mature at a very young age. But the suddenness of the situation had caught her up. Her look had immediately drifted away from the amused eyes of her member, who had laid  back on her chair, with a mischievous smile. 

"Ah I see, someone is thirsty." JiHyun had chanted, clapping her hands together as if she has just heard the joke of the year.

"Shut up!" 

"Hey, mind your mouth young girl, I'm your unnie. More seriously, how come?"

"That's what I'm asking you!" Hyuna had said, frustration clear in her tone. 

"Well, I'm not sure, he is not my boyfriend, is he. Have you guys talked about this before?" Her leader had asked, straightening herself on the chair.

"Every time we could have an occasion, he just runs away. I don't know if he does it purposely or accidentally but I'm seriously starting to loose my mind." Hyuna had let out, passing a hand in her hair frantically.

"Oh, it's that bad?" The elder had asked, wiggling her eyebrows with the same seemingly unstoppable grin.

"Shut…JiHyun!" Hyuna had whined, hitting her hand on the table. 

"I'm messing with you, take it easy!" She had laughed. "Alright, alright don't go! I'll be serious." JiHyun had said, as Hyuna had gotten up, ready to leave the kitchen. This leader could really be something.

Hyuna had seated back down, crossing her hands over her chest as she had eyed her leader with a feign judgmental fashion.

"Drop the offended air. I just wanted to relax the atmosphere. So you haven't slept together yet, he happens to get busy when you try to bring it up and you are dying of thi…you are getting impatient. Ok. Well, he has to be scared." 

Out of all kind of explanation, the last one Hyuna had expected was this one. She had been so taken aback by her leader's conclusion that she had burst in laugh. HyunSeung, scared of having with her? This had been ridiculous. 

"You're kidding me, right?" Hyuna had said, wiping actual tears that had formed in the corner of her eyes. 

"Do I look like I am?" JiHyun had asked, frowning.

"No. But you have to be. Why would he be scared? It's not like…"

Hyuna had abruptly stopped in her speech, realizing she had never really processed what she had been about to say. But now that she had, it had felt like a slap in the face. There had been several women before her. Other women to whom he had bought things, other women with whom he might have thought of spending his life with, other women to whom he had told: "I love you." It had only made sense. But stomaching this idea amidst of wondering what she had done wrong now that he hadn't shown any signs of wanting her, had been more than she had wished to suffer to finally found an answer to her questions.

"It's not like I would be his first." She had finished, lowering her head to look at her knees. 

"I can imagine you aren't. And that's ok. He wouldn't be your first either. Don't think about this. This is the past, you are each other's present now. Think about this, rather. What is missing in your present that would make him scared?" JiHyun had said, tucking Hyuna's hair behind her ear and raising her face up.

"I don't know." The young girl had answered, getting more confused by the minute. It had just seemed like s