February 2016

"Title?"

"I'm not sorry."

"Ok. Let's say…'Hello it's HyunSeung'. 

Not even three minutes since he had been here, and the annoying sound of fingers typing on a keyboard had already driven HyunSeung to want to throw himself off a cliff, however, this hadn't been a possibility, as he had had a far good enough reason to keep living. 

"Content?"

"Can we end this already? It's nine p.m and I still haven't seen…dammit!" The lead vocalist had fulminated, swiftly taking his phone out of his pocket in the hopes that he would have seen a message, but there had been nothing.

Exceeded, HyunSeung had leaned forward to read what should have been a self-written apology regarding his controversies over the past months. Last one in date? Falling asleep during an interview. Now, this had been particularly unfair. This interview had been filmed two months ago already, and it had only got published now that things had finally seemed to calm down. Add to this his "not suited for work" Instagram likes, specifically the ones that had earned him the utmost wrath from Hyuna he had ever received. Which surely hadn't been a part of his plan. However, the latter had still been going well. After all, his goal had been to keep the fire ablaze until every single soul around him would have burnt to ashes. He had not expected to lose some of his own feathers in the process, along with some of Hyuna's. At this point, it might not have had only been Beast's career that would go down the drain. But he had sworn he'd do whatever it took to accomplish his mission, and he had. To hell anything else, even if it had meant him as well.

Hello, it's HyunSeung

I am very apologetic to many fans with the unhappy news lately.

There is no excuse to what has contributed to such controversy, and I have only myself to blame and to repent and reflect sincerely.

For fans that love me and Beast, even at times like this, I mustered my courage to convey my sincerity.

Again, I am truly apologetic for my actions.

As he had reached the end of the letter, HyunSeung had snorted loudly, certainly a way to repress a laugh outburst at what he had just read. "Only myself to blame"? "Repent and reflect sincerely"? "Sincerely?" "Apologetic"? Oh, please.

"This…this doesn't sound like me at all." The lead vocalist had cracked up, clapping his hands together. "No, I'm sorry. This is actually great since nobody will believe me anyways. Now excuse me, I have to go somewhere. But hey, thanks." HyunSeung had tapped the employee on his shoulder, showing him two thumbs up before he had opened the door of the informatics office.

"Like I could have sounded this much of an ungrateful bastard if I had tried." The man had mumbled, throwing him a dark look, which HyunSeung had completely ignored as he had walked out of the room joyfully. He had rapidly got down the three level of stairs of Cube's building, glancing at Park ChungMin's office when he had finally reached the ground floor and silently thanking God when he had seen the door had been closed…too soon.

"Look who we have here." Low, scathing and sarcastic, Park ChungMin's voice had tacked HyunSeung at his place, meaning hardly ten meters away from the parking lot. Doomed. He had had to have been doomed.

"Such a heartfelt apology, I almost cried." The CEO had sniffled, bringing his right index to his eye, wiping an inexistent tear.

"I'm glad you could feel my complete absence of care. Sorry, but I'm quite in a hurr-"

"I saw, I saw." The chairman had cut him, cranking his nose. "And I actually stopped you to ask you , who could want to see Korea's laughing stock right now?"

Only throwing back the haughty look he had received, HyunSeung had remained silent, hoping that the elder man would have just let go of him if he had seen that he hadn't been willing to fall into his trap. But there hadn't been many options regarding whom he could have been running to at this hour, and the CEO had guessed just right.

"Poor girl, really." Park Chungmin had smiled sourly. "She just came back from abroad to hold a top notch performance and you have nothing else to do than to make her feel the weight of your foolishness once again." 

Anytime else during last year, even the month before, HyunSeung would have thrown himself into a heated verbal war with his CEO, that would have probably ended into him getting punished one way or another. But this day had held no more important priority than the one HyunSeung had decided had been it. Her. And her only.

"That's why I'm in a hurry. Because she is the only person who deserves an apology from me." HyunSeung had said. And without a word more, he had turned around, accelerating his pace to reach his car to go to Hyuna's apartment.

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Another place, another obstacle. Standing in front of Hyuna's entrance door, Song Jang Eun, one out of two of Hyuna's dual manager team, the other one being Oh Song Song. (And God knows if it had been him standing in front of his girlfriend's apartment at such an hour, the conversation would have taken a whole other direction). If there had been one thing the lead vocalist had noticed, is that no matter how much in advance he'd think he would be, someway, somehow, he would always happen to have got out stepped.

"Manager noona." HyunSeung had cleared his throat, wanting to hide the displeasure that would have pierced through his voice otherwise. Vainly still, it had appeared, as the manager had his heels to face him, an emotionless expression plastered on his face. She'd usually at least smile to him, even if it would be closer to a rictus.

"Jang HyunSeung."

"She's here, right? May I-" The lead vocalist started, wanting to go straight to the point instead of wasting any more time in exaggerated civilities he wouldn't mean one bit, and her neither.

"No, she actually isn't. And I'm not coming out, I'm going in. She told me she went to the market and will be back in a few. I came because she asked me to sleep over. She feels a bit…blue." The manager had concluded, pursing her lips together in a way HyunSeung had translated as "I would say more to your ugly face, but I will refrain." However, it had seemed he had been in a peculiar pacifist mood that day, his brain always reconnecting him to the only thing that had mattered. Talk to Hyuna. See her. This had been what mattered. So be it if he had had to get his ego blasted. Compared to just about the entire world, his girlfriend knew better than to resent him to no end, and that is why he had been standing here, asking permission to someone else than her. 

"Just…blue, right?" HyunSeung had inquired, feeling worry uncomfortably make its way into his, up until now, controlled emotions. 

"Yes. She's looked worse before. Not sure if that's a good thing in itself, but that's how I can tell she will be fine." 

"Thankfully." The lead vocalist had breathed out, rubbing his hands on his face repeatedly. With everything that had been happening, he had forgotten about his own physical exhaustion. He had just spent a week in Japan, performing for seven days. Then his name had got dragged into medias when he had come back to Korea, by a Beast fan with that, who HyunSeung had found out to be his determined anti-fan who even stalked him and his loved ones on Instagram. And now he had had to say sorry despite him. Yet curiously enough, the weight of his actions never felt heavy until he'd have to confront Hyuna.

"Can I still come in?"

"I'd rather not-"

"In fact, I have to. Just a minute...to talk to you, noona." HyunSeung had had no clue where this idea had come from, but something had told him it had been the right way to go. Besides, his girl could have come back home before he'd have left, if he had managed to gain enough time. "I know you don't like me, but-"

"It's not like this." Jang Eun had interrupted, her inflexibility taking him aback. She sure wasn't more than a manager to Hyuna for no reason.

"I know that I'm nothing but the BIGBANG reject who should thank God every day that he met Yoseob and with whom Hyuna accepted to be in a unit, to many people. And it's probably the same to you, just that you're nice enough to be polite towards me, which I appreciate." The lead vocalist had said calmly, sincerely.

"And again, I don't mind it. Because at the end of the day, truly, the only person I care for in this Cubic building is Hyuna. No offense."

Blinking several times, Jang Eun had stared at him for a while, a mix of incredulity at his audacity…and plain disdain, but here again she had shrugged it off, granting his wish by inviting him to come in. Immediately, HyunSeung had taken a deep inhalation of the scent that had dominated the place. Sugary yet strong all at the same time, he had thrown himself on the couch he knew all too well, turning on his back to exhale in relief. How could he even survive so long without this perfume filling his lungs? Well, thankfully, or he would have already been dead by now, but it had still been out of his understanding.

"Make yourself com-" The manager had started, stopping in her sentence when she had seen the lead vocalist sprawled on the furniture, probably? He had kept his eyes closed all along, aware that an idiotic smile had formed on his lips but he hadn't cared to hide it. Reality had been so. Just her perfume could bring him to a peace he knew nothing of most of the time, but he always did when he'd be with her.

"Surely." Jang Eung had mumbled, putting her bag down, HyunSeung had guessed, from the thud sound that lightly echoed in the room. "What's in here?" 

"Ah." He had cracked his eyes open, almost forgetting about what had been in his hand. "G