November 2014

"You wanted to see me, sir."

HyunSeung had entered the CEO's office with drawing steps, half from an intentional nonchalance, and half from legitimately having suffered physical consequences of Beast's tour for the past three weeks. Anyways, he had had to fly from Japan to Korea after he had received a call from his chairman who had had "an important matter to share with him." 

Park Chungmin. CEO of Cube Entertainment since 2013, due to Hong Seung Seung having had to step down from his chairman position. HyunSeung had never thought of this day as something that could have happened as soon as it did, and he had even found himself being upset at his former employer. However, it had only lasted until the uglier truth had been revealed. Hong Seung Seung suffered the terrible disease of ALS, to which the issue out of its pain was unique, for as this disorder was incurable. 

"I had to see you, rather, as an obligation." The CEO had smiled sourly, straightening himself in his chair as he had clicked the lead of his pencil off. HyunSeung had remained unfazed by the despicable remark, putting himself in front of the wooden desk, swinging himself on his heels in a careless motion he had hoped would annoy the elder man.

"Truthfully, I am in the middle of my Japanese schedules and I am tired, I literally just flew here to get to meet you, but if you're going to make me waste my time-"

"Be a little less disrespectful towards the CEO who is about to make you an offer that you've wanted for a long time." Park Chungmin had grumbled, narrowing his eyes at him.

Suddenly, the young man's arrogance had been taken over by curiosity, mixed with fear and anticipation, a strange cocktail of emotions considering he had known the CEO  could have very well been playing him. But his lucidity, misty from fatigue, had rendered him less alert than he'd usually be, he had felt. And it had made him understood that the shorter this conversation would have been, the better.

"An offer I've wanted for a long time?" The lead vocalist had repeated. His voice had unfortunately sounded unsure to him, the kind of tone that gave nothing but satisfaction to his president who always relished himself from vain hopes, especially his. However, HyunSeung hadn't been able to help himself. Deep down, he had wanted to believe this offer had been the exact one he had been craving for.

"Any suggestion?" Park Chungmin had asked, a small smile on his lips.

The young man hadn't been answered right away, wanting to read into the game of the CEO before saying anything that would have betrayed regarding how much he had hoped that this proposal had been his dearest wish for some time now.

"I don't know. I…I am getting a solo debut? "HyunSeung had said, feigning nonchalance his best. 

Although the lead vocalist didn't have the caliber of a soloist, in addition to not being like just any idol, his desire to make his proofs had gnawed at him since his dispute with Beast, obviously. He had always known he was part of the least popular members with his maknae DongWoon. This had never been a problem because he firmly believed only so much could prevent talent from winning. Being a part of Trouble Maker had brought him the media attention he had needed to finally take off. From that moment, offers of musicals had been made to him, the number or his fans had skyrocketed and he had found love. All thanks to one person. He owed everything to Hyuna. The lead vocalist had always known it. However, his ego had been less and less able to accept it as he had realized he never got the same amount of opportunities than s, let alone as he had became the man in a relationship, having to take care of his woman. A dancing puppet, singing songs written his worst enemy in order to survive, having to keep a dream alive he had run out of a desire to be a part of. This couldn't have been any longer.

Jang HyunSeung. Not Beast's Jang HyunSeung, but Jang HyunSeung. The greed to be known as so had been taking the lead vocalist over like a fire. Every occasion he'd have to stand apart, he would take it. Whatever it took, he would always try to prove he was different. An ad lib, a step done differently, a run, freestyle dancing. Anything. And to the young man's biggest pleasure, it had been far from being everyone's cup of tea, mostly not Beast's. Wanting to stand out was "annoying"? Surely would it be, for people who had no idea how it felt to always be put on the back burner. To be told "no", no matter how much sweat, tears and blood you put in your work, just because your CEO and "fans" dislike the fact that you are no puppet.

"You wished." Park Chungmin had sneered, leaning back into his chair with a detestable expression.

Ouch. Well then...

"You are indeed, debuting solo."

The time that had elapsed between the moment when Park Chungmin had pronounced those words and the moment when HyunSeung had to realize their importance had seemed like a lifetime. And when it had hit him, he hadn't felt excited, he hadn't felt happy. He had felt like his head would explode, as a thousand of questions had buzzed in his head. Debuting, solo? Him? Now? Why? But perhaps he shouldn't have been as much surprised as he had been. It was known fact that the lead vocalist had been put in Trouble Maker as a preparation for a solo debut, but what had still been a secret, is that he had refused to go solo two years ago, in quite a similar encounter, with Hong Seung Seung, this time around.

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"Hello, president. You wanted to see me?" HyunSeung had entered his CEO's office.

"Ah, HyunSeung!" Please have a seat." The elder man had welcomed him warmly.

"I'm good if you allow me."

"Surely, surely. So, how are you feeling lately? A musical, opportunities, popularity. If you tell me you've been feeling tired, I'll be really upset." The CEO had smiled, tapping a happy tempo with his fingers on his wooden desk.

"Great. I have been feeling great. Although yes, I am extremely tired, you won't catch me lying about missing being in my bed for more than four hours a night." HyunSeung had smiled back, scratching his head timidly.

"So young yet always complaining, young people. Well, tell me more!" Hong Seung Seung had pressured with a laugh. "I know you're not a good speaker, but come on, how does it feel, to finally reach for the stars?"

Pondering as slowly as he did, HyunSeung had taken a moment to answer this question. He had known exactly how it felt, but it had indeed been complicated to put in words for the poor speaker he was. Putting sentences on his feelings had never been easy to him, and even less if he had to do it in front of the person who had been mostly responsible for him having reached for the stars.

"I just feel…so grateful and satisfied with everything that has been happening. I am finally being considered as something else than a rejected BIGBANG member, something else than a recycled Beast member. It feels surreal and good. Amazingly good." HyunSeung had tried, smiling embarrassingly when he had seen the mocking smirk of his chairman.

"You could feel on an even higher level of euphoria in a minute, I'm even excited myself. So, do you want to hear my proposition?"

"Of course, I came for this." HyunSeung had acquiesced. 

His CEO's eyes had seemed to sparkle behind his glasses, the kind of sparkle he knew way too well by now, but he had had no guess what to expect from it. His interrogations, held high for a few seconds, had finally been cleared, as Hong Seung Seung had said:

"Would you like to finally debut, solo?"

Back then, rather than shock, it had been confusion taking his feelings over. And the excitement Hong Seung Seung had shared with him beforehand hadn't made the situation any easier to the lead vocalist. A solo debut. This had been crazy. And HyunSeung's answer had been even crazier. Despite his newfound success, despite his newfound popularity, despite how perfect the timing that the offer had been, HyunSeung had had no doubt as to what his answer had had to be. With a light tingle to his heart, still, HyunSeung had had, to be honest with himself. With his company father.

"No." HyunSeung had said, regretful, but still determined. 

"I-I'm sorry?" HongSeung Seung had asked, the mix of incomprehension and disappointment in the elder man's voice, feeling thoroughly painful to the lead vocalist.

"I...don't think I'm ready."

"I think you are." The CEO had retorted, running a hand on his face. 

"Before Yoseob, before JunHyung?" HyunSeung had subconsciously started to wander in the small room, touching any objects here and there, doing his best to avoid looking at his chairman. 

"That's the problem?"

"No, it's not. Yes, it is. Ah. I don't know. President, this is too much for me to handle for now."

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