September 2013

"Alright, cut! Let's take a break, for now, I can hear your vocal cords crying for salvation." Rado had chuckled, stopping the music that had been booming in the recording studio.

It had been three hours since Hyuna and HyunSeung had been in the boot, following the producer's instructions for Trouble Maker's title track to be perfect. "There is no tomorrow", or "Now", to be more practical. And the album's name had been decided to be "Chemistry", an official testimony of them being an infallible match.

"What do you guys want to eat, I need a walk, I can go buy us something?" The producer had asked, putting his jacket on.

"Chicken." HyunSeung had unsurprisingly answered.

"Same." Hyuna had followed, more surprisingly. She was more of a ramen or pizza girl. Maybe he had finally grown to influence her, the young girl had thought for a second, immediately shaking her and her thoughts off, with a bit of luck.

"Ok, see you in a bit then. Ah, HyunSeungie." Rado had paused in his motion, tilting his head at HyunSeung as the latter had frowned at the producer?"

"Yeah?"

"Use these minutes wisely." With a wink, Rado had left the room, leaving the two subunits partners alone.

At this point of feeling completely lost, Hyuna hadn't needed any more mysteries to solve on her plate. Besides, he'd surely answer her when she'd ask him what the producer had meant and if he had succeeded at whatever this had meant. But this had required for their teammate to return from his outing, and in the meantime, Hyuna had had enough to think about for herself.

"Well, I don't know what you consider wise but allow me to respect his will on my standards." The young girl had jumped on the black couch, laying down of all her meter sixty, which had still allowed the lead vocalist to sit down by her feet and do something  that had taken Hyuna aback like he always did.

"Shoes on the sofa? What's with you bad girl." He had grabbed her ankles to remove the heels she had been wearing to put them on the floor. "While I'm trying to figure out how you can even walk in these, which means for the next five seconds, you have the right to ask me for a massage. The offer will expire in five, four, three, two, one…"

"I-I'm good, thank you." Hyuna had blurted, strengthening her body back to a sat position. She had felt her cheeks burn from the surprise as she had repeatedly brushed her hair back, wondering if she had sounded rude by the same occasion. This guy, really.

An embarrassed silence had installed itself in the small room, for a change. And usually Hyuna wouldn't be the one to try to break it, but this time, for some reason, she had felt like doing it.

"I'm really satisfied with the songs on our album, aren't you? Truthfully I can't wait…to hear your voice on ‘A girl who wants to play', it's a perfect solo track for you". Hyuna had smiled softly, instinctively putting his hand on his.

"I sure am too! And I can't wait for us to perform together." HyunSeung had answered enthusiastically, responding to her gesture by doing the same one.

"You don't like my solo?" The young girl had questioned with a clear exaggerated pout, but the young man had completely bitten on the hook, reacting exactly what she had wanted and expected him to.

"No that's not it! I love your solo, it's even better than mine. Want to know why? I'd never sing anything but R&B, but yours is the EDM type though it's not your predilection genre, and you mixed a bit of singing with rapping, nothing better!".

Why had it procured her so much satisfaction to hear him reassure her? Hell, she had wanted to push it even further. To make him tell her encouraging words she much needed to hear, after the semi-fiasco her last public broadcast promotions had been, due to her getting hospitalized for exhaustion during 4Minute's return back in April.

"I'm just fooling around, relax!" Hyuna had hit him playfully. "But I got to say, I'm kind of worried about what fans will think. Along with the public."

Ah, yes. Trouble Maker's concept had indeed been decided to be "Bonnie & Clyde" themed, rearranged into a secret agent being up to illegal activities and his girlfriend being unaware of it, to not be too shocking for the public but dramatic.Either way, truth was that anything Hyuna would do always happened to be shocking to people.

"Since when do you care?" HyunSeung had asked, turning himself on the sofa to face her.

"It's just that...my last official promotions weren't exactly memorable for the right reasons." Hyuna had pondered, rubbing her hands on her arms. ‘What's your name's' success was 4Minute's as a whole, but I for myself didn't show the image I had planned to show. I should have been able to work through the pain but I let it take me down. I don't want this to reiterate again."

"What nonsense are you saying?" HyunSeung had asked her, frowning. "Nonsense." His brutal honesty just like she loved it.

"I should have-"

"What you should have done, is take an even longer time to rest. You had gone through...a lot, emotionally before this comeback. It was bound to happen. And you were back on track ten days later. What image else is this but the one of a crazy girl who would crawl to the stage even with forty degrees of fever? I'd have strapped the hell out of you to this hospital bed." The lead vocalist had growled, imitating the movement of someone attaching a person and throwing the key of the lock.

Hyuna had laughed, a small laugh. The kind she'd always find herself to let out when she'd be with him, half conceding, half mocking, a warm feeling of satisfaction filling her heart once again.

"Like I always say, the public can go see if the grass is greener on the other side if they're not happy, same for fans. Our album is good, we are good performers, alright, the concept is a bit sultry, but that's Trouble Maker for them. So, don't you worry." HyunSeung had reassured her, as he had started to caress her hands with his. She had felt a shiver run through her body from head to toe, which was strange considering how many times he had had to touch her intimately. But this had felt different. Somehow even more intimate than his fingertips brushing the inside of her thighs, or her burying her face into his neck. And she had wanted more of it. A whole lot more than this.

The young girl had been painfully conscious of the misery she had purposely put HyunSeung through, for him to forget about her. For him to realize she had had to just be a phase. But it had all been a mask, that had cracked day by by day. There had been no stopping to the growth of her feelings for him. Despite being certain it had been the right thing to do, the thought of him despising her had been unbearable.

Every time Hyuna had forced herself to ignore him, feeling his begging eyes on her, desperate for a contact she had wanted to offer him just as badly, she had hated herself. And for someone who had decided to never trust a man again, not only had she got tricked again but she had very much been feeling in need for a man's affection.  No. His affection.

That too. Hyuna had been highly confused about this side of her. What kind of games had she been playing to, going left to right from one guy to another in the span of eight months? She wasn't so easy, was she? Though she had felt helpless about it, she had also felt somewhat dirty. So what had HyunSeung possibly thought of her behavior?

She had blown her chance away by putting him through such trials and tribulations. She had had no right to act like nothing had happened. The young girl had started to like him, but it had never been supposed to happen. They had been put together in this subunit for HyunSeung to benefit from her popularity and use it as a stepping stone for a future solo debut. It had started as a professional project and it should have stayed so. Instead, both had let fate confirm the saying: Friendship between a man and a woman can not be. However idols could even less let physical attraction get the best of them. Resist. That is all they were allowed to do. Those who'd be willing to take risks would clearly have a hard time avoiding medias outlets and the like. And in the inevitable case where they'd get caught, the tentative of damage control would end up in angered fans and apologies from the idol. Promises to work harder as if it wasn't already the case. Just because they were dating, all of a sudden it made them unworthy of standing on stage, of getting praised, of fulfilling the dream they had worked years to achieve. Laughable. 

Going public to avoid all these problems had never crossed Hyuna's mind, apologizing, neither. And HyunSeung was of the same opinion. He was one of the most adamant idols there was at respecting rules and anything the industry considered right "without even asking me what I think first." And God knows this had been one of the many reasons why she had so much admiration for this man. While she had yielded to physical attraction for JunHyung before she had fallen for his personality, it had been the other way around for the lead vocalist. His endearing smile, broad shoulders, and deep eyes were just a bonus compared to his unique way of thinking and determination. Hyuna had no idea where he found all of this after everything he had gone through.

When it came to having come back from hell, there was no one but them who could understand the feeling better, as their paths were similar on a fateful level. Passing inches by to debut in BIGBANG or being Wonder Girls' muse wasn't something any Cube artist could boast about. Talking about the past had been one of the very first points of connection between them. Rather than cry over it, they would laugh at it. Like during one night after a practice for their first ever debut stage as Trouble Maker. Reminiscence of the privileges of being unknown to the public. Being able to walk outside freely, not having to worry about every single word coming from their mouth. Sleep at a decent hour. Wake up at a decent hour. Just being normal. The conversation had gotten deeper as they had started to discuss how it had felt to have to withdraw and get eliminated from now worldwide known groups. 

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