October 2015

Everything. HyunSeung had ed up everything by not attending this fan meeting. But then again, what would it have changed? Nothing. Even as he had accepted DuJun's offer, he had still been moved around like a pawn, used for purposes that only served their author, like a vulgar wooden chess piece. The lead vocalist had almost believed it. DuJun, wanting his well-being by granting him an outing out of Beast like a caring leader would. And HyunSeung had almost been there. A little while after the Beautiful Show, an announcement should have been released, explaining that it was with regret that HyunSeung and Beast had decided to part ways, due to musical differences and after months of deliberating, both sides had come to the unfortunate conclusion that it was best to follow their own path.

And just like that, Jang HyunSeung would have left the scene until a new company would have saved him. Like a stooge, with no other explanation (He had no plan on releasing any statement himself the day he would finally leave whatsoever) than a pre-prepared, full of lies speech meant to make everyone look good while they had all dirtily got involved in this matter and decided to hide behind their smile and fan service.

" me just right." HyunSeung had burst in laugh, letting himself fall back on his bed from his seated position at its edge. "You almost got me, Beast, ChungMin. But the Trouble Maker has much more up his sleeves left for you. And you best believe that you won't bear it until October 2016. I will get you on your knees before that, no matter what." 

And HyunSeung had decided that his plan would go in three phases. First of all, he should get into a scandal, and completely ignore the fact that it happened, boast about the fact that it happened, even.

"What is your most precious memories as Beast in five years?"

Fans and their never ending ‘please coax me with your answer' type of questions, really.

"The time when I got my picture taken in a café. I have a private life too." HyunSeung had answered, shamelessly.

The urge to roll himself on the floor as he had seen his bandmate's faces go livid on the front monitor. What better of an occasion to start his plan could have been given to him than a broadcast to celebrate their sixth anniversary? And God knows that knowing there would be no seventh one for him had fueled his convictions all the more. The second phase of the plan: Pay no attention whatsoever to anything that would go on whenever it would be (as usual), speak as nonchalantly as possible, do every single thing he knew would get his name into medias thanks to fans' puerile entitlement. Thirdly: Use the marvel of a technology that Instagram was, to click ‘like' on oh, so terribly controversial pictures. And lastly: Get the right to leave before time so much that he'd have pissed Park ChungMin off. Yes. That is the wrath they had triggered from HyunSeung. No more feelings, no more pity, no more regrets. Or at least, not on his part. There would only destruction and its aftermath would make Beast wonder where they had failed to  get put in such situation by the ever so irrelevant Jang HyunSeung.

The lead vocalist had pushed himself up, pulling his phone out to messages from Hyuna and Rado. The first had contained the words "I'll be here soon", the second one had been enquiring himself about him "being sure", making the smile he had had on his lips fade away, as he had remembered the conversation he had had with his producer a week prior.

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"I'm just saying, what if you end up losing more than you want to win? And are you certain you are not doing this just because…"

"Just because?" HyunSeung had said, coldly, waiting for his friend's answer.

"Because your ego can't stand the fact that deep down, you don't want this." Rado had lightly raised his hands when the lead vocalist has straightened himself on his seat.

"I do, though. I didn't warn you about this for you to doubt me."

"Then why don't you tell Hyuna? This way, you would be on the same page and what happened between you guys last month wouldn't reiterate. Plus how do you know she won't find out you didn't have Cube's permission that day, per say." Rado had insisted.

"Beast and ChungMin are too much of s to tell her. They'd rather have her find out alone so that it'd look like I'm the only one who lied. Besides…" HyunSeung had paused an instant before he had pursued:

"She wouldn't understand." And the reminiscence of the hell that revealing Hyuna how he had blackmailed Hara had put him through, had been no mind changer. He hadn't wanted to live this again. Ever. Enduring her hurt eyes every time their gaze would meet, the fright of losing her at any moment and the helplessness of knowing she had found comfort in someone else than him for weeks. Never again. HyunSeung wouldn't have survived it. 

"Or she'd see right through it all, manage to stop you. And it scares you because somewhere it's what you want."

"What I want, is their fall, whatever it will take. Understood?" HyunSeung had hissed, his angered unfairly directed to his friend, but he hadn't been able to control it.

"Then those tears at the Beautiful Show, what were they? What were they, HyunSeung? It's not too late to go back and you know it, you didn't want to leave any longer after the concert that's why you posted this video on I- "

"That's enough!" The lead vocalist had snapped, standing on his feet. "It was a moment of weakness, a moment of weakness I would have regretted all my entire life if I hadn't got my senses back in time!"

Those tears and his hesitation he had cursed himself for. He had stood on stage for two hours, he had danced and sang like there would be no tomorrow, rightfully, since there should be no 2016 Beautiful Show for him. The cheers of the fans, them singing along to his very first solo song, the music booming loud to pierce his defenses. He had cracked. Weakly, shamefully, the weight of the situation and his love for all of this had got to him. Could really leave the stage. What if he did stay until his contract would expire. What if he hadn't been strong enough to leave. Even worse. What if he hadn't really wanted to leave. A moment of weakness, nothing less, nothing more. 

"I'm not so sure." The composer had shrugged, looking at the lead vocalist straight in the eyes. 

"It doesn't matter what you or anyone else believes. I won't go back. Not again. And Hyuna must never know. Give me your word, Rado." HyunSeung had said, pointing his finger at his friend to add an element of pressure to his order. Except for his girlfriend, his producer was the only person who dared disagree with him and could, without having to face any hard feelings at the end of the day. However, this hadn't been his call. It had been HyunSeung's call. And if he had said he would ruin Beast, he would, ruin, Beast. 

"Word." 

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The door bell had ranged, snapping HyunSeung out of his trance. Nearly jumping off his bed, he had jogged to the door, impossibly eager to see the person who had stood behind it. A rare instance, for them to risk his familial house as a meeting place. But his sister  had gone to her very own boyfriend's house for the time being and his mother had simply been aware that his son had wanted to invite his girlfriend around.

Wanting to make himself after all these hours during which he had been left hanging, HyunSeung had kissed the petite brunette before she had even made a step to enter. She'd blame him for this, often. Telling him that he only missed her when she'd be gone. And while it wasn't the entire truth, he couldn't think of much moments during which he realized how badly he needed than when she'd be gone. 

"Click, click. Woops. A fan just got our picture because you're too impatient." Hyuna had pushed him back, closing the door behind her hurriedly.

"Then that picture must be old because we've been there and done that a few times now." The lead vocalist had , pulling her closer to getting another kiss. Deeper, longer, hotter, until Hyuna had managed to create enough space between their lips to tut him judgmentally.

"I bet you're not even done packing. And you want me to be responsible for your lateness tomorrow." Hyuna had pouted, making the lead vocalist chuckle at her cuteness.

"You wished. I'm done packing, miss Hyuna. Which means, we have, all night long, just for us." HyunSeung had tackled back, making his hold on his girlfriend's waist firmer. 

"Start by letting me remove my stuff and offering me something to drink, then we'll see. Geez." 

"Ah, yeah. What do you want? I have soju, beer, fruit juice…" The lead vocalist had listed, heading to his kitchen in hurried steps, as he had pricked his ear to hear her answer.

"Water is ok."

Grabbing everything he had needed with sagacious movements, HyunSeung had poured a glass of water to his girlfriend, leaving the bottle out of the fridge he nearly let opened as well, kicking its door as the rest of his body had crossed the limit between the kitchen and outside it.

"Here. Since when does it bother that I want to get to things straight away?" HyunSeung had asked, feeling strangely out of breath.

"Since you do things like disrespecting your fans for the second time in not even two months, or forget to offer me a drink, even if you can't wait to get to work?" The young girl had raised her eyebrows at him, taking a long sip of her glass, probably to allow him to come up with a counter attack. But he truthfully hadn't found any, and he hadn't wanted to. HyunSeung had been about to be in Japan for an entire month, with the sole company of his dear Beast members and fans who would watch each and every single one of his actions, ready to drag him in the mud. Therefore hadn't wanted his memory of his happiness to be a fight. Not that night.

"Not tonight. Please." The young man had simply pleaded, putting his lips together, dreading that the young girl had wanted to address these matters again. And God knows she could be as stubborn as him, if not more. However, HyunSeung had seen it in her body language. She had missed. She had wanted him as much as he had wanted her.

"Fine." Hyuna had sighed, handing him her empty glass. "Lay me down?" The young girl h