Chapter 15: Literally, HyunSeung coming back from his Instagram hiatus and have him posting about 4Minute out of all things, I think it was one of the best thing that happened to me in 2015. I imagined that considering his main music preference is R&B, there would be no way he had really listened to the album, let alone since he had to have heard each track more than once as someone working in the very same building as 4Minute and being friends with Hyuna. Less friendly is the part that came afterwards, oh. Hyuna had been the one to initiate their first time which I intended to make romantic for a first time of course, and the numerous allusions to afterwards. From the start HyunSeung had wanted their ual encounters to be intense, so I just made him crave for it awhile more before he got it, but it was planned all along lol. Re reading it though, I find it awfully lackluster and I can’t wait to re write it soon. But I hope you enjoyed it on your side.

Chapter 16: I just wanted, by all means, to write a glimpse of the excitement and concern I had imagined Hyuna having over his solo debut. It is literally a full circle. They got paired as Trouble Maker, for HyunSeung to build momentum to be ready to debut as a solo artist one day, it happened, and they became more that can meet the eye thanks to it. So many people were being full of negativity about how he didn’t have the caliber to debut solo because oh, he is awkward, oh Yoseob deserve it more, oh but where is Trouble Maker. Newsflash: Jang HyunSeung went through thick and thin to obtain this opportunity and despite the fact that he surely was overshadowed by a lot of factors, there was no period in 2015 or 2016 for that matter, during which he’d have been this much happy.

He didn’t make it about greed or recognition for once, he enjoyed himself, performed, opened up during interviews, took a picture with Big bang after seven years, was happy and that is all that mattered to him, for once. To me always, to Hyuna as well I am sure, so that is what I meant to portray by expressing her worries in a monolog. And preferring to be asleep than awake might be a preference of mine, exactly because it is a rare moment of peace in this crazy world.

Chapter 17: You know when you haven’t seen a single proof of HyunSeung hanging out with any Beast members in years and that day when it happens you’re supposed to believe it did for no reason ? Yeah. Well, this didn’t possibly happened for nothing to me, and I decided that it happened because something very important had had to be discussed. And it’s ironic it happened to be DuJun, because although he likely calls the shot as the leader and I can imagine a lot of these shots weren’t approved by HyunSeung, for some reason I always felt like he was maybe the only member who stood a chance to be somewhat heard by him. So here are we, the Beautiful Show is in a few days and we all know the emotion that poured out during this concert, and getting HyunSeung emotional is not something you obtain easily except if he has a good reason to be. For him to leave Beast is something I wished for and said he would do just about a year later after I became a fan? 2013 that was. When I realized what Beast fans saw and what I saw, were two complete different realities. I saw the one in which like I said, it was always the same old story. He’d get asked to be more like this, more like that, more this way, less that way by fans, Cube being explicitly or implicitly. For nothing. To preserve the precious bubble in which the kpop world demands idols to wrap themselves, and they do it because they seriously think they will manage to not fall once and be the perfect idols they are paid to be. Only for so long.

I am strongly, strongly against this phoniness. Yes, this phoniness way too many idols cultivate for money, in the end. And Beast are like that. HyunSeung is like that, and maybe Hyuna is like that even if I don’t believe she is. Either way. Nobody, and I mean nobody should have to go through everything HyunSeung went through for the sake of fame and I intended to make it clear through this chapter, all by still having him accept the deal. 

Chapter 18: I used this chapter to introduce manipulator Jang HyunSeung. Lying is an art not everyone is good at but I assume that the fact that he always hides his emotions makes him a master at this. All he has to do is to be convincing, find the right words, find your weak spot. And there will you be, eating in his hand no matter how many times he messes up. He does exactly this with fans after all, doesn’t he. Is it selfish, is it human, is it acceptable, is it revolting. To each their own. But I know this was definitely one of my favorite chapters to write because it came out exactly the way I wanted it to. And for a first time of getting thrown the JS spell on, Hyuna was almost there, almost. An intended progress.

Chapter 19: I wanted this chapter to be a confirmation of the one before but from HyunSeung's POV this time. I believe this guy here is awful at saying sorry. And at admitting his wrong. And at losing even if he clearly gets his behind handed to him. He is the kind who wants to have his cake and eat it too but that is obviously impossible. But he won’t just sit and take a defeat, and he can consider himself numerous times, lucky to have Hyuna as his girlfriend. It might sound too easy, but at the end of the day, HyunSeung does love Hyuna and would do anything to make what he thinks is right. Even if it means all of this. ‘Even through the dark’, obviously an analogy to the blindfolding and the fact that he is the kind of person who wants support even as he does the most stupid things and the worse is that we give it to him lol. I do, still. But a part of me acknowledges that he probably never thought he’d ever get into so many terrible situations and therefore he just wouldn’t know how to get out of it, and frustration mercilessly builds up. Hence the endless clumsiness and the use of the way I believe he uses most of the time to make himself understood: physically.