November 2013

"Why are year end awards still a thing again? Popularity biased rigged shows."

HyunSeung had been complaining the entire day about the 2013 edition of the MAMAs that had been getting closer. Finding herself to think about the past two years' editions, Hyuna had felt a light tug to her heart, hearing him talk about this subject this way. He used to care so much about awards ceremonies, until bad blood had been spilled between him and Beast, unsurprisingly. Hyuna had assumed that the reasoning behind this sudden indifference had been something like this; What was he getting rewarded for as a part of a group he didn't want to be part of? Obviously, not teaming skills. Music, did "not even thirty minutes of a lackluster album after an entire year of hiatus" deserved a reward? And the mild success of it had testified of his opinion not having solely been influenced by rancor. From charting to their 2013 concert, it was true that Beast's promotions had been unsatisfying, to say the least. The only ones who had gained anything from them had obviously been all of them except HyunSeung. But at least, he had been extremely proud of his Beautiful Show stage, that had happened four months ago already.

"Tell me my stage wasn't the best. Tell me I didn't do the most creative and stamina efforts? I topped all of them. Hell, I even topped myself. "No1 supplier" is no joke of a choreography and I still de-li-ve-red. Dancing shoes? Dancing machine, and that's me. You know what, let us  this performance just to teach all of them a lesson. EXO can enjoy their silver plate served awards, I want to enjoy being part of the best performances that night." 

"So do you care, or do you not. You sound somewhat…bitter." Hyuna had chosen her wording carefully, although she had had no control over her body, questioning eyebrows raised at him. He could be so full of himself sometimes. And she found that so very attractive, for a reason, she had yet to put her finger on.

"I don't. It was always like this in a way, it's not now that I'm going to scream "unfair" on rooftops. Deserving people meant to get crumbles, "thanks" to what company they come from or the size of their fandom. We'll put on a performance everyone will remember for how good it was. That is what matters to me." He had nodded, convincingly. And Hyuna had known he had been honest. In fact, as far as the young girl could remember, HyunSeung had never really cared that much for trophies. Be it the first time Beast had won on public broadcast or as time went by, and certainly not this year.

What was he an idol for, then? Hyuna had surprised herself wondering this several times. If he didn't care for awards, if he didn't care for recognition, if he didn't care for glitter and glamor. The joy of standing on stage? Could someone as full of confidence as him really content himself of this?

"What do you care for, then?" Hyuna had slowly asked, aware that her words might have sounded judgmental, but curiosity had peaked its way without warning, allowing her lips to let out this question.

Suddenly, the lead vocalist had paused amidst of grabbing his dispatched bag and clothes, straightening himself standing. Their waiting room would always look like a storm had passed by. They both liked changing outfit three times in a day during comeback promotions. After they'd arrive at the broadcast station, before they'd go on stage, and when they'd have to leave. They had currently been at the last stage, as they had been getting ready to go back to Cube to practice, right after Inkigayo's broadcast.

HyunSeung had thrown her a surprised look, rather than an upset one as he had his heels to face her. Well, at least that. However, at Hyuna's biggest worry, he had stepped closer to her, intertwining their fingers and pull her against him. And she swore she had blushed at the contact of their bodies as if she had never experienced this before. And it was true she hadn't in a way. And she really had had to get used to it all already. He had been her boyfriend now.

"What kind of question is this?" The young man had scoffed. And she had bet with herself that he had laughed both at the indeed curious interrogation and at the sight of her face having become red and her eyes resting everywhere in the room but on him.

"Mmh?" He had insisted, cupping the young girl's face between his hands to force her eyes to meet his.

"Don't mind me." Hyuna had lowered her head, embarrassed by her own sudden intrusiveness.

HyunSeung had fully laughed, this time, tilting his neck to take hostage of her once again receding eyes. God. Why was he so stubborn?

"Miss Hyuna. It is possible you don't exactly know what kind of man I am yet. But let me tell you one thing. I never give up, on something I want to get. So please, answer me?"

Lucky him and damned her. Because if there was something always prone to give up, it was Hyuna's legs every time HyunSeung would tell her anything remotely factual about himself, for the reason that it always reminded her of how much different than anyone she had ever met he was, of why she found him so amazing, in every way possible. His demeanor, his unwavering beliefs of what was fair and what wasn't, of what he deserved or not, of his own flaws, which Hyuna honestly hadn't thought he'd have, considering how much confident he was. But he did and knew it, humbly. And each passing day had had her fall for him deeper and deeper.

"I mean…if what you care for isn't awards, it has to be releasing good music, and to do well with your group. But you don't even have this any longer. At least trophies are a way to expand your prize list and impress the industry. But you talk about it all so lightly. And hearing you say you wouldn't have spent a single cent on your last album…"

Uneasy to no end, the young girl had been unable to sustain his gaze any longer, whining for him to stop. As usual, hers would end up where it could reach as long as it was past his face, to his torso, and she'd start playing with the folds of the outfit he'd be wearing, hoping for him to realize her discomfort and not go further into making her reiterate what had put her in the said embarrassing situation.

So far so good, Hyuna had been a master at doing this, as she still hadn't known exactly how to act when they'd be alone. When surrounded, it was just a question of acting as if nothing changed, which they had somehow succeeded in doing, without counting the discreet glances they'd give each other. However when they'd be alone, she'd urge to feel him, to her own astonishment, but at the same time, the risk of someone entering the room would constantly be huge. In consequence, she'd hold back, they would hold back, try to do small chat instead. But it had been all the more of a challenge since HyunSeung was a man of few words, not to say none. 

"Yes", "No", a chuckle, a linger on her while she'd be busy on her phone. Eventually, she'd feel the obligation to entertain to him, to not let him think she was bored by his side. But that would often end up this way