One Day, Long Ago Chapter 20

Song for this chapter// To Build A Home by The Cinematic Orchestra

“There is a house built out of stone, wooden floors, walls and window sills, tables and chairs worn by all of the dust. This is a place where I don’t feel alone. This is a place where I feel at home.”

Tae Kwang’s POV
 

“Tae Kwang ah, you haven’t even touched the side dishes.” Mrs. Kim was astonished when she opened the fridge to replace the side dishes with new ones to see that they were still there.

“I’ve been eating out a lot with friends. I’m sorry I couldn’t finish them.” I knew that she worked in the kitchen to prepare these for me, but my lack of appetite plus my stomach rejecting food made it impossible for me to even eat much. She left after stocking up the fridge with the new side dishes, leaving me with a silent house.

I went into my room and into the walk in closet, grabbing a black box off the top shelf. I sat down on my bed with the box in front of me. Opening the lid, a heavy sigh left my lips.

“The black box.” I whispered as the box was opened. Inside a bottle of vodka, a box of cigarettes, the light I used to use back in high school, a letter, and a single picture was contained inside. I took out the picture and all I felt was melancholy. The picture was of me and my parents when I was eight years old. Compared to the typical family photos I didn’t have any that treasured a specific memory. The only photos my family took were from professional studios. After my parent’s divorce I always wondered if the smiles on my parents were spurious all along and I was just the one oblivious to it. I was probably was.

The letter in the box was worn and crumpled, but still perfectly intact. In fact the envelope was never opened to begin with. I grazed the lettering on the front side of the envelope, remembering when it I wrote it. The letters on the top left hand corner read,

Your son, Tae Kwang.

I went to the kitchen and pulled out the bottle of vodka from its hiding place. I then went to the bathroom to grab my old prescription bottles with a few remaining pills inside. I grabbed the box of cigarettes I purchased impulsively and placed it all in the black box. Closing the lid, I vowed to myself that I would never open it ever again. That this would be the last time.

 Insomnia kept me awake at night with my thoughts and the headaches were becoming more manageable by day. I microwaved some instant rice to eat with the new side dishes, but after two spoonful’s I couldn’t eat any more of it. Everything just tasted bland and I was just wasn’t hungry. I tried to eat more, since I had to, but it felt too forced and I rejected the consumption even more. I laid in bed for the rest of the night with an empty stomach and a headache that forced my eyes shut.

In the morning I woke up and took my pills as directed with a water bottle when Ra Jin called me. As soon as I saw the contact name I became apprehensive if something happened to Eun Bi again.

“Ra Jin ah, did something happen?”

“No. Seung Min, Young Ho, and I have a favor. Can you do something for us?”

“Of course. Anything. You name it.”

“Can you come down to Tongyeong today? It might be our last day at the Love House and we want to play with you one last time.” The corners of my mouth fell once I realized what was transpiring today.

“I would be glad to come. Just wait a while and I’ll be there in no time.”

The kids were sitting on the couch with grim expressions when I came. I pulled out the bag of popsicles I bought on the way here, trying to lift their spirits. They thanked me for the ice cream and continued to eat with a weight on their shoulders. Young Ho and Seung Min retreated to their room when Ra Jin scooted closer to me on the sofa.

"You like Eun Bi Unni right?" Ra Jin asked me.

I softly chuckled, asking her, "What would a kid as young as you are know about love?"

Ra Jin answered back with, "The way you look at Unni. That's what I think love is.", stupefying me.

"Oh... Man, you are one perceptive kid."

"I'm very tactful. Enough to know that you love her."

"Ra Jin ah, Eun Bi and I aren't like that. Besides don't you have more important issues to ponder about than your unni's love life?" But then I realized that talking about my relationship with Eun Bi might be how she was currently trying to distract herself from the fact that she would have to leave this home soon.

"I've been in the system since I was born. I know how these things work. There's always a reason why I can't get adopted. No point in getting my hopes up."

"The more you expect, the more disappointed you get. I'm very familiar with that feeling. It truly does ." I empathized with the young girl, but became saddened over the fact that such young kids were forced to grow up so fast and fend for themselves because they didn’t have any