Hate
No Flex ZoneI should’ve pushed him and just run to my house, but I was stood still instead. Even with his jacket, I still feel
cold, but while being hugged by him, everything seems to turned warm.
And I should’ve told him that I don’t want to be a stranger, but I couldn’t say anything right now. I wish he could
read my mind so I shouldn’t say anything to him; just like what Mingyu usually does.
Wonwoo walked me home and he was straight leaving my home without bidding any goodbye to me. Seems like
he is serious about being a stranger? If I knew that it’s going to happens, I wouldn’t accept his apology so he
would be running after me for a really long time though.
Something’s weird here, I’ve never been this attached to someone before. I’ve never been missing someone,
and wanting him to listen to my worries like this before. I was always the independent girl who doesn’t need
anyone to rely on, but something really changed me these days. I don’t know is it because I got so many problems
that I couldn’t solve or because I finally found people who I could rely on.
Seems like I have to spend my lunch time by myself again now, meanwhile Kwon Byul is having fun with
Vernon and also his group of friends, and also Mingyu. They are laughing so loud that it makes me jealous
because nobody would talk to me now.
I hated them because they’re happy, maybe the problem is on me and not them. But I still don’t like them.
“There are a lot of people near to your table, why are here by yourself?”
“You sure know the exact answer but you are still asking me means you are here just to insult me because I
don’t have anyone with me now, Kim Mingyu.”
“Wrong answer! I’m coming here because I want to be with you though.”
“Stop hitting on me.”
But then I remembered about his text messages last night. Is that means he saw me with Wonwoo hugging?
Did he misunderstood all, that’s why he said congratulation? And why do I have to care whether he misunderstood
or not?
“About last night, Wonwoo is not my boyfriend. He is just friend.”
“I thought you were hugging a random guy but then I saw him and, yeah, seems like you are dating.”
“But he is really just my friend though.”
“Okay, that’s good. I have another chance then.”
“Another chance?”
“Yeah, I wouldn’t be able to follow you here and there if you already have a boyfriend. I’m glad you are single.”
Did he just telling me that he likes me and he is happy that I’m single?
***
“Kim Nara, you lost your place again to Mingyu for this test.” the teacher gave me my latest score cards, “What
happened to you?”
I also don’t know what happened to me. “I’m okay.”
“Kwon Byul, you are really getting better these days. Seems like you really want to go to Seoul University?”
. Since when Kwon Byul determined herself to enroll there? Is she really serious wants to compete with
me? Just what does she want actually?
Mingyu is absent on the study group even though he was there at school before. Nevermind, I really shouldn’t
mind him for now since my grade is getting worse.
There’s something really interesting that I found when I was walking home after my study group finished.
Kwon Byul is walking out from a place that’s known to be the rival of my study group. As I remembered she
didn’t have any interest on getting to study group and even favorite university?
But my eyes didn’t lie to me, the girl is really Kwon Byul, and she looked at my eyes now. Damn it. She looks
so full of herself when she smiles while walking towards me. No, I shouldn’t look like a loser, I am not.
“Hi, Nara.”
Uh, I hate that smile.
“I thought you don’t have any interest in any study group, huh?”
“Well, it’s enough to be always on your back. I think I have to try seeing your gloomy face from the front? Oh,
you are already a loser now.”
“You know what? You will never be in front of me, that’s not your place.”
I was going to leave her, but her words stopped me right away.
“Kim Nara, you know what? It to be your friend but people kept talking about how I just uselessly
following you around. You never listen to me, you are always bragging on how you got everything on your hand
while I kept suffering because I got so many problems that you won’t ever understand because you are too busy
to be greedy and showing off, even to me! And now you questioned why I always chooses Vernon instead of you?
Think with your smart brain, plastic!”
I know. I know that I am that bad towards my own friend - my only one friend. I was so greedy and I still am.
But I can’t really help it, I have so much dreams that I have to reach, why should I put it down just because I
have to help her? Isn’t it her fault if people calling her useless?
She should’ve tried harder so people wouldn’t call her useless. I have everything because I am working for it,
everything don’t just fly to my hands though.
Seems like my gloomy night will continue, Wonwoo is sleeping over along with Sehun. I know about Sehun
since he is my brother’s friend since middle school, I think? Seriously, they will be noisy all night playing
games. And room just had to placed next to my brother’s. Sigh.
There are times when I accidentally met Wonwoo, and his expression are all the same. It . He is really
treating me like a stranger, just like what he said before.
To: Mingyu
Where are you?
From: Mingyu
Home, why
To: Mingyu
Why did you skip the study group today
From: Mingyu
Busy, whyyyy? Do you miss me?
To: Mingyu
Meet me at the store where we bought ice creams. I need a friend.
From: Mingyu
Sure I’ll be there in 10 minutes
I’m glad that Mingyu’s house is not that far from mine, and we are also in the neighborhood, and he is always
ready whenever I need him. I think I really need someone to talk about my problems right now, I really can’t
hold it anymore.
When I opened the door, Wonwoo really surprised me because he was standing in front my room’s door, like
he was going to knock on it. We both took a step back and didn’t say anything at the first seconds.
“Are you going somewhere? Can I join you?” he asked. No, he shouldn’t know that I’m going to meet Mingyu
at this time.
“What’s wrong?”
“I want to talk about something with you, if you don’t mind.”
We are just sitting on the terrace, and I agreed to talk with him because maybe we can fix everything?
“I don’t think you will be able to understand this, but, I don’t know why I want you to take care of yourself
well?”
Sure, I don’t understand.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
But he didn’t answer, his face moved closer to mine. It seems like a dejavu, his lips touched mine and I couldn’t
even move my body. He started my lips, his arms wrapped my body; pulling it closer. My body is hot, I
can’t even think straight.
“See?” he wiped his lips, then wiped mine. “I don’t want you to think that a kiss means love. Anyone can kiss you
like I do; or pretend like they like you to get even more than kiss. I don’t want you to be fooled by anyone, Nara.
I’ve got a hard times thinking of you because I might crush your heart after the kiss but -”
“Stop it, Wonwoo.”
“Kim Nara,”
“Stop! Stop telling me that you feel bad! I am not stupid, note that! I don’t just kiss anyone like you do. And I
don’t just like anyone like what you said.”
“You can’t fool me, Nara. I know you’re expecting me to feel different to you just because the kiss. Your eyes tells
me all, that’s why I feel bad to you. If you don’t feel anything then I won’t feel this bad towards you, Nara. You
can fool anyone but me.”
He is right. I am expecting something more than a friend after we kissed. I’m developing something strange
towards him and I’m thinking of him everyday. I kept asking myself what did I do to him that he walked away
from me like this? He is right about everything.
I stood up, turning my back on him. “Stop telling me that you feel bad towards me, I’m okay.”
“I want you to know that I’m working things out back with Mina, so that you won’t think that I’m playing with
your hope.”
He kills me with a sentence. He is not playing with my hope, he is throwing it to the ground then crushing it into
a little piece of .
I don’t know what I have to cry over him. Or is it also because Kwon Byul? And everything that happened to me
these days? The whole world seems to hate me so much that I have to be like this. Just what sin did I do in the
past to deserve this kind of fate?
I really can’t think of anything while crying and locking my self in my room. But seems like I forget about
something, something important that I couldn’t remember right now. My mind is in a mess, I can’t remember
it now.
Just what did I forget?
***
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