What’s the point of giving the umbrella for me to use when both of us were walking to the same direction? Does he hate me so much that he doesn’t even want to use the same umbrella as me? That he’d be rather soaking under the rain?

The bus was arrived, and people were rushing to get the seat. But I couldn’t move my feet, just looking at Mingyu who left me and sat beside the window. He didn’t look at me even once, and here I am couldn’t even take my eyes off him while the bus started to leave.

It’s better to take the next bus.

He wasn’t there when I arrived at the study group place, even though he took the bus earlier than me. I couldn’t focus to the teacher since I kept waiting for Mingyu, and curious about his whereabouts.

“Kim Nara! Stop zoning out, or just leave now!” the teacher scolded me. That’s right, I should be focused right now. Stop thinking about Mingyu, he doesn’t even think about me.

“Sorry, teacher. I had to change my uniform.” Mingyu finally came, with a sweater on and still wearing his wet pants. Seems like he took off the shirt since it was soaking wet. I really feel sorry for him, he was the one who brought the umbrella, but he had to run under the rain because of me.

He was sitting across me, didn’t even bother to look at me when all I did was looking at him. I don’t know if he’s acting, or does he hate me for real, because I feel like I got my karma already. Back then, I was always ignoring him, even hate his existence. And right now, I can’t believe I’m craving for his attention.

“Kim Nara! Do you really want to go home that bad?!” the teacher hit the table, and it shocked all of us. Ugh. I’m in a big mess.

“I’m sorry, teacher.”

The study finished for today, and people are all rushing to leave the place, so does Mingyu.

“Mingyu!” I shouted, and he looked at me.

“What?”

Walking closer to him, giving him the umbrella, and said, “Your umbrella. Thank you.”

“It’s still raining outside, just use it.” And he walked away, protecting his head with the bag. Stupid.

I was running to him and grabbed his wrist, and he literally shoving my hands away.

“I don’t need this, Mingyu.”

“Just use it.”

“I don’t want to.” Then I handed it to his hand, but he threw it.

“I said, just use it for yourself!”

It’s already late anyway, we both now soaked under the rain, looking at each other’s eyes. Now I’m sure that he wasn’t acting for all this time, he really hates me, and his eyes shows it all. If he really hates me, then he shouldn’t have gave me the umbrella.

“Do you really hate me that much?” still shaking by looking at his eyes, and the truth that was hurt. Where are the warm eyes that he had always gave me? Is he really Kim Mingyu?

“Answer me, Kim Mingyu! Do you really hate me that much?!” I finally shouted. “Can’t you give me one more chance?” my voice suddenly got weaker, and I couldn’t look at his eyes anymore.

Surprisingly, he didn’t answer me, and just casually walking away. Maybe that’s his way to answer that he really hates me to the point that he doesn’t even want to say a word to me. And he was giving me one exact answer that he doesn’t want to give me another chance.

It’s irony how we used to whisper under the umbrella, protecting each other so we wouldn’t get wet. But now, he was leaving me without thinking twice, doesn’t even care if I was hurt or not. Because he lost his patience that he had held back since long time ago.

I used to love rain because of him, now I hate it.

Maybe that’s why people said that it’s better to be nothing at all, since it’s always be the worst once you part ways.

***

From: Wonwoo

Do you have a study group today? Do you want me to pick you up?

To: Wonwoo

Yes… Please… Hurry…

Fortunately Wonwoo arrived fast, because I couldn’t stand anymore if he was late. I feel like my body was burning, and my hands couldn’t stop shaking. He protected my head with his palms, and looking confused at me.

“You have umbrella on your hand, why don’t use it?”

I leaned my head on his chest, “I don’t want to use it.” Because Mingyu doesn’t use umbrella either. “Just because.”

I always loved how Wonwoo never ask more whenever I answered short. Like he knows that I don’t want to say anything more that will hurt my pride. I always loved how Wonwoo often disappeared but suddenly appeared out of nowhere whenever I need him. He made me realized that he’s the only one I got.

And I shouldn’t waste my time for Mingyu anymore.

He hugged me tightly, “Let’s go before you catch a cold.” Then leading me to the car.

We didn’t talk, and he didn’t even try to start the conversation since I was zoning out for the whole time. Maybe if this things didn’t happened, I would’ve interrogated him for disappearing for the whole day.

But I don’t feel like arguing or even fighting with him; even talking a word to him about that. I’m really tired for today.

“I’m going to drive you to the school tomorrow.” He said, after stopping in front of my house.

“Don’t you also have a class?”

He smiled, “I finished my midterms test now that I’m on holiday. We can see each other often now!”

Even without asking him why he often disappeared these days, I already got the answer. I feel really bad at him because I thought he did something wrong, or he was going to avoid me just because he disappeared. Turned out he was focused to the test.

Once again, I almost forgot that he is a KAIST’ student, and he got tons of thing to do.

I nodded, “Sure. Let’s meet often.”

“Good night.” He said, after kissing my cheek.

“Wonwoo?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you for coming to me.”

***

“Eat your breakfast first, Nara!”

“I’m late, Mom! Wonwoo’s already outside. Bye!”

My body was still burning hot, and my head was dizzy as hell. But I couldn’t skip the school for today since I have a test. And the fact that I didn’t sleep last night but studying all night long really doesn’t help my condition at all.

He touched my forehead, “You are still sick, Nara.”

“I have a test today.” I said as I gave him a piece of bread, then kissing his cheek. “Let’s meet later!”

I feel like my soul was being out, I feel really tired like I couldn’t do anything besides sitting on my chair. The questions were more difficult than I thought, and I feel like my brain was almost explode because of that.

I don’t know if this was because of the questions, or that I was still sick, that my head was really dizzy. Even the packed lunch didn’t raise my appetite, even though Mom packed my favorite foods there.

Staying under the rain for almost one hour really made my body got worse. My condition was already bad before that, and why did I choose to stay under the rain?

From: Wonwoo

How’s your condition now?

To: Wonwoo

I’m okay, why?

From: Wonwoo

Something came up, I can’t pick you up today. Is it okay?

To: Wonwoo

It’s okay, I’m going to ask my Mom or my brother

From: Wonwoo

But isn’t you brother going to the mountain with his girlfriend?

To: Wonwoo

Ah, right,

I’m going to ask Mom then.

As usual, she answered the call after the third tries or more. I know that she must be busy at this time, but I really need her to pick me up after school, since I don’t think my body could handle everything anymore.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“Mom, can you pick me up after school?”

Then I heard her talking with some people, telling them to do this and that. Seems like something came up that made her extremely busy right now.

“Hello? Nara? What is it again?”

“Mom, can you pick me up after school?”

“The interns made a big mistakes here, Nara. I don’t even think I could go home at this rate, I’m sorry.”

Yeah, she doesn’t even know that I was sick.

“Okay then, I will just take the bus.”

“Don’t forget to lock the door, honey. You brother is also away.”

I don’t even think that I could safely arrived home at this rate.

“Yeah, see you tomorrow, Mom.”

Since the teacher couldn’t come and made the students to study by themselves, it’s better for me to sleep. Maybe my body would be better later since I have to take the bus by myself. At first it’s hard for me to sleep since the class was really noisy, but someone shut them up, and told them to study.

It’s probably the class leader.

And I have this one habit, I would have a weird dream whenever I got sick. And my dream this time was really weird, and happy. I feel like the dream was real, that I don’t want to wake up because it was too good.

Because I know that it wouldn’t happen in the reality.

My eyes were still heavy, but the class was already dark, and someone was sleeping on the same desk as me. “Mingyu?” is he the only one who’s waiting for me when the other students just went straight home?

He brought his head up, shocked because I caught him waiting for me. Then he quickly stood up, was about to leave me, but I ran after him and grabbed his arm. “Mingyu,” I gave him the umbrella, “Yours. Thank you.”

Our eyes met, and I smiled when he took the umbrella. It feels like the room was spinning around as I let myself fell to his arms. As I closed my eyes, I was praying to God to don’t wake me up. Because even though if it was just dream, I feel thankful for it.

I didn’t remember anything after that, like my body was waiting for the whole day to loosen up on his arms. Because nobody could, and nobody would, except him.

Thank you for staying, Kim Mingyu. Whatever your reason was.

***

a/n; do you know that today mingyu and seungkwan are graduating from high school? yeayyyyy congratulation my smol babies<3