And I shamelessly thought I was forgiven by him already. He was walking straight as if I wasn’t here, and I shouldn’t feel hurt by it since it was entirely my fault. And if Mingyu is really going to give up this time, I shouldn’t stop him anymore. Maybe he’s really tired, and I didn’t bother to listen to him.

Even crying wouldn’t make Mingyu stop and look back at me, it hurts.

Someone put my arm around his shoulder, helping me to walk, and it was Song Mino. “Why aren’t you following Nayeon around today?”

“Don’t you know? She told the whole school that you broke up with Mingyu, and that’s mean she’s free to follow Mingyu around like what she used to do now.”

“Wasn’t she always following Mingyu around even when he had me?”

“Mingyu didn’t fight back this time, just like what he used to do. That bastard, giving false hope to Nayeon, again.”

He didn’t fight back, and accepting Nayeon now. Seems like we’re really over.

“And why are you here?”

He smirked, “No one’s going to help you except me anyway.”

“Mino, do you hate Mingyu?”

“So much. Because he could make Nayeon happy even with his littlest hope that he gave to her.”

“Do you like Nayeon that much?”

“I don’t like her, I pity her. She couldn’t be happy, her Mom even rejected her, and her Dad is too busy to take care of her. She wants her own happiness, and she found it in Mingyu.”

Maybe that’s why she’s really attached to Mingyu, and how Mingyu couldn’t leave her even though she’s hella annoying. Because they’re the same, and they know each other more than anyone. They could fix each other because both of them know well the situation.

It’s hurt how I used to think that I know everything about Mingyu; that I thought he also knows everything about me. But, no, there’s someone who’s really precious for him, no matter how much he tried to avoid her.

Park Nayeon. There’s a reason why she would give up her Dad for me, but not Mingyu. Because he’s the only who could reach her heart.

“Mino, I want to go to the clinic. Just tell the teacher that I’m sick.” But he walked me all the way to the clinic, even helping me to get into the bed. “Thank you.” I said.

“Are you going to wait for Mingyu to finally realize that you are not at class but here instead?”

I’m not going to be naïve, I really hope that he will realize that I’m waiting for him, here; and that he would come and wait for me, to ask me if I am okay, or just simply looking at me with his own eyes.

Mino left to the class, and I couldn’t sleep even after closing my eyes for the whole time. Maybe he was right, Mingyu would never come, and we are really over this time.

Actually, I’m not jealous, at all, when I saw Nayeon clinging to him all the time. Or, when he paid attention to Nayeon when he shouldn’t do it, at all. Because I’m sure that his feelings towards Nayeon is different. Well, no one could predict people’s heart, but I’m really sure, Mingyu’s faithful.

Yes, he is faithful, and I don’t deserve him.  He kept everything by himself when I cheated on him, didn’t even mad at me and accepted everything instead. When Wonwoo left me with all the bull that he made, Mingyu’s the only one who stayed and pleaded for me to also stay with him.

When everyone was turning their back against me, even when Kwon Byul didn’t even want to talk with me, Mingyu was the only one who stayed and told me that everything’s going to be okay. I hate how I was greedy – and I still am – that it turned everything to a big mess.

“Nara? Are you okay?” Kwon Byul opened the door, then sitting on the bed beside me. “Are you really okay?”

I nodded, “I just need some times.”

“Here,” she gave me a piece of paper, “Invitation to English debate competition.”

I opened the letter and Mingyu’s name was written there beside mine.

“Mingyu’s also invited?”

“But he rejected, so it’s only you.”

“Then, I’m also going to reject this .”

“Kim Nara, are you insane? Ever since we entered this school you were always dreaming of being invited to this competition so you could enter Seoul University easily. It’s national scale, you idiot!”

“But Mingyu –“

“Oh man, since when you’re becoming this weak , Kim Nara? So what if Mingyu doesn’t participate? I know that you have lots of trouble on your mind, but can’t you be the old Nara? You are the one who could handle everything easily by yourself, Nara. Sure, Mingyu is your boyfriend and you have to fix the misunderstanding about all this with him now, but it doesn’t mean that you have to push your dream behind.”

“That’s why,” I sighed, “I thought I could handle everything by myself, but I was wrong. I was just pretending to be strong, Kwon Byul. This situation just made me realized that everything that I got on my hands are all scattered everywhere now; because I was too greedy. I don’t know… I –“

She got up from the bed, then hugging me who’s crying. I’m tired. I need help. But I’m not sure what kind of help that I need, and who the hell would give their hand to help someone like me. At first I just wanted to help Mingyu and her Mom to fix their relationship, and also let Wonwoo to feel better, and to be the first rank like what I used to be, and also make my Mom feel better about this whole marriage thing.

And I thought I could do these things by myself, but I was wrong. I just don’t know where to start over, and when to finish. I just don’t know how to fix things; or make someone feel better. I thought I was the best, and I could do anything. No. I was just pretending to be the one.

“Don’t stop pretending until you really become one, Nara.” She pushed my chin up, “I was so proud that my best friend is the Kim Nara who’s famous for her brain. But where’s she now? I’m so tired of seeing this broken-hearted girl who’s weak and couldn’t do anything.”

“Do - you think I - can do - it?”

“Of course! You did great being the scary Kim Nara long time ago!”

I know that I’m blessed to have a best friend like Kwon Byul, even though I just realized know. Everything that happened between us really slapped me hard, that I was really a trash. And Vernon really deserves her and vice versa. They are both good person, and that’s how fate works.

***

I walked back to the class just to meet Mingyu in front of the door, and he just walked passed me like he doesn’t know me. He didn’t even look at me, or even to my injured feet. He didn’t even ask me what happened earlier that I didn’t attend the class. He was literally making me like an invisible person.

It’s unbelievable how fast people can change. One day, I was his everything, and the next day I don’t exist anymore.

“Mingyu!” I grabbed his wrist, and he finally looked at me. But I couldn’t say anything when he’s staring coldly at me like that. He’s scary. “Mingyu…”

He pushed my hand slowly, “Do you have something to talk with me?” his voice was so gentle, but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t hate me anymore. Ha hates me.

“My feet hurts.”

“Then what do you want me to do? I ain’t a doctor.”

I just want you to ask my condition, and tell me to take a rest. I just want you to look at me with you warm gaze again, and hug me, telling me that everything’s going to be okay. I just want you to hear my reason, and forgive me. I might be greedy, and selfish – but that’s the only thing that I wanted.

Still looking at him, blinking so I wouldn’t cry in front of him. “Nothing. I just want you to know.”

“I know, Kim Nara. Remember yesterday? I was running, I was panic, just to found out that you were there, with Wonwoo. You lied to me and that’s more than enough, I don’t want to know anything else.”

“Listen to my reason first, Mingyu.” I finally burst out crying, even stomping my feet. Because I was holding so much, and I want him to know everything. “Please.”

“I don’t know if you’re going to tell me another lie so, I’m not going to hear anything.”

Tears kept falling from my eyes, and he was still looking at me with that cold gaze. “Is it really the end?”

“Isn’t it the best?” he said, “what’s the use of being faithful to someone who doesn’t even try to be one?”

“Mingyu –“

“Call your brother to pick you up, don’t ride the bus with that condition.” And he left me right away. Without even looking back to me, he was just walking straight. And I felt like a trash.

Who needs when a people like him can you up just the same?

The day passes, and I was awake every night. He might ed my life, but I still have some things that I should do. He might be the biggest reason why my life turned to a big mess like this, but he is also the biggest reason why I should live my life.

Well, I used to think that I couldn’t go a day without his smile, and without telling his things that I did, and hearing his voice back. And I’m still thinking like that.

The next day, and the next day, and every day was so damn hard. Not to mention that the nights were harder. And I’m not going to be okay soon.

It’s midnight and I’m lying here crying about nothing, but at the same time, it’s everything. Nothing’s wrong, but nothing’s right either.

***

“So, you are participating in the English debate competition?” Nayeon’s Dad asked me, in the same soon-to-be family dinner with Nayeon sitting beside me, and we didn’t even look at each other.

“Exactly in a month.” I answered.

“You must be busy to prepare for the exam and also the debate, I’m so porud of you, Nara.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Then Park Nayeon threw the spoon, “I’m full.” She stated. When no one was asking her. “And I need to talk with Nara.”

“No, if you are going to fight.” Her Dad said, but she didn’t bother to hear and dragged me to the toilet instead.

“At first I don’t want to tell you about this since you are not Mingyu’s girlfriend anymore and I’m free to follow him again now. But my Dad really paid attention to you, and he also said that he’s proud of you when he never say those things to me – and I hated it. Maybe I have to make you hurt so I will feel better?”

“And how, the mighty Park Nayeon?”

She unlocked her phone, with a side view of Mingyu and a familiar girl sitting in some café. “Look at this, Mingyu is already dating someone.”

“They are not dating, I can bet on everything. And seems like you’re the one who feel hurt, Park Nayeon?” I said then left her.

Mingyu was with Minseo, I don’t even know how but Minseo herself who told me that Mingyu saved her when she was crossing the road and a motorcycle almost hit her. She was surprised that her brother saved her, and that she finally could meet him.

She was really happy that she could spend her times with her Brother, and she’s also scared if Mingyu finally found out that she’s the sister that he hates so much. She told Mingyu that she was thankful because he saved her life, and treated him some meals.

Mingyu really wants to have a little sister, and he finally could spend his time with his little sister. And I also don’t want to break Minseo and her Mom’s happiness just because I want Mingyu to know the truth.

Lying to Mingyu was my biggest mistake, but how could I tell him that Minseo is his sister then he definitely would hate that little girl again? No. they deserve to be happy, and I’m sure that Mingyu’s also feeling something different when he saw Minseo. They share the same blood anyway.

“Dad, I have to go now, Mingyu is waiting for me outside.”

“Mingyu is here? Let him grab some meals first, honey.”

“No,” Nayeon looked at me, “He wouldn’t want to join us right now.”

My Mom’s expression was changed when she heard Mingyu’s name. all that she knows is that Mingyu is my boyfriend, not Nayeon’s. I noticed her expression and smiled, telling her that it’s okay.

“Mingyu is the only friend that Nayeon has, I think? And I’m glad that they’re together again since Mingyu didn’t really come to our house for the past months?” Mr. Park said, and it crushed my heart a little bit.

“Is he the same Mingyu that I know, Nara?”

I nodded, “Don’t worry, I broke up with him already.”

Nayeon’s Dad was shocked, trying to understand the situation. “So, he was dating you before dating my daughter?”

“Sir, he had never date Nayeon. He is just being nice… like he used to do. And I think Nayeon received it differently? Well, I don’t blame her, Mingyu makes girls’ heart flutters.”

He smiled, “But I’m thankful to Mingyu, he could make my daughter smiled… oh, are you okay, Nara?”

“I’m okay, Mingyu had told everything already.”

“Is he the one who make you and Nayeon like this?”

“Partially,” I smirked, “She just simply hates my whole existence.” Then I stood up, “I have an appointment with someone, see you later, Mom, Sir.”

***

Mingyu’s Mom and Minseo were waiting for me in a coffee shop, as they waved when they saw me. I don’t really have people who wants to spend their time with me now except Kwon Byul at school, so when Mingyu’s Mom and Minseo asked me to drink some coffees with them, I couldn’t say no.

They’re just like my own family now that we’ve spent our times together. And it’s sad how they’re going back to the states this months. But at least, Minseo has a good relationsip with Mingyu now – I mean, Mingyu’s kind enough to accompany her when she’s bored. He doesn’t think her as a stranger because he said that he felt like he had known her for a long time already.

Even though it’s also difficult for Minseo to hide that she’s his sitster – that he hates so much.

“Don’t tell me that you are all lying to me, for the whole time?” Mingyu and Nayeon appeared, and all of us were shocked to death. “And you, little girl,” he pointed to Minseo, “I was right, you are not a stranger at all, I’ve known you from a long time, and I’m disappointed.”

He grabbed my wrist, “Come with me, and don’t you dare to follow us.” he pointed to his Mom. And I told them to just stay.

We are now in a corridor next to the coffee shop, still with Nayeon beside him smirking to me all the time like her life goals has been accomplished.

“You know that Mingyu don’t deserve you, because you are such a two-timers, liar, a selfish –“

“Stop, Nayeon. Please leave, I need to talk with Nara.”

“But –“

“I said, leave, Park Nayeon!” he finally yelled at her, and she quickly ran to stop a taxi. Seems like she was crying, and Mingyu didn’t even care about it.

“I know that I can’t hide this forever, I’m ready, you must want to curse at me right now. I understand.”

“I really don’t know what to do with you anymore, Kim Nara. You know that I hate her to death, and also that little girl. But what you’ve done behind me? I avoided her so much, but you’re meeting her behind me?”

“Because she’s your Mom, and I want her to fix the misunderstanding between you two. I’m trying to help you, I’m trying to payback what you’ve did to me!”

“I don’t care, I can take care about my family issues by myself, Kim Nara! And look at you, another lies? And you’re still trying to make me forget about the other things?”

His voice was higher, and it seems like he could swing his hand to me whenever he wants since he’s really angry. And I’m scared of him.

“But I’m doing this for you, Mingyu!”

“This is why we better off alone. I gave you a chance after chances, and you wasted those. Do you think I can be patient forever, looking at you doing anything at me? Do you think it wasn’t hurt for me to know that you were actually making me a plan B by cheating on me? Or when I found out that you were lying about Wonwoo? Can’t you think that I’m also suffering, Nara. Can’t you at least stop lying to me?”

Crying, as I didn’t know what to do, and kept grabbing tightly to Mingyu’s wrist. “Mingyu. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. Please forgive me.”

“Forgive you so you could lie to me again? No, you gotta accept the fact that certain things will never go back to how they used to be.”

I grabbed to his wrist even tighter, as my crying was also louder, “Please,” I cried louder, and the tears fell harder, “I’m sorry.”

“Stop it, Kim Nara.” He shoved my hands and was going to walk away but I grabbed him again. “Kim Nara!”

I stomped my feet, crying like there’s no tomorrow, and finally kneeled down in front of him.

“Don’t leave me, please, I’m begging to you. You can do anything to me, just stop hating me. I cannot live like this anymore, Mingyu.”

He kneeled down to my level, and our eyes met with each other. “I don’t hate you, I’ve just lost all my respect for you and have nothing to say to you anymore.”

And his words were even sharper than a knife. Leaving me in this situation, crying hard by myself in this cold ground. Facing the reality that it’s really the end for us, and this is all because of my faults. I can’t believe Kim Mingyu, the person who I hated unreasonably at first, who was following me around, right now turned his back against me.

Kim Mingyu who treated me like his everything, has finally turned his back against me.

***

a/n; actually i was going to make this into two chapters but then maybe it's better to be one chapter so i can make another chapter for you later hehehe. FIRST I'M SORRY i made you wait for a long time (again))))) :( and i'm afraid most of you will be bored at this story already... when i still have things to be updated but you know when you clicked ms word you just dont know what to write... not to mention that i'm on my busiest semester now....

aaand.... (if some of you are still waiting for this story) (just in case) i am going (to try) to update every friday (p.m. GMT+7) so you can expect every friday hehehe maybe i can't update every single firday when i'm busy... but i've set my deadline to update every friday (minimal) because i dont want to leave you all hanging in this story (since you guys still confused between #TEAMMINGYU or #TEAMWONWOO or #TEAMANYONE since i'm also still confused lol

and i'm still thinking about expanding this story until they're all in the university or just end until they graduate.. so i need to know your feedback first at the rest of this story.

SORRY FOR WRITING SUCH LONG NOTES. LOVE YOU ALL