“You don’t even know Wonwoo. Stop talking bull, Kwon Byul!”

“Nayeon told me everything, Nara! She already know that you dated both Wonwoo and Mingyu, but she just let you to do it. Don’t you think that it’s weird? Because she wants to see you suffer first! She knows that Wonwoo still couldn’t move on from Mina, she knows everything!”

“Aren’t you her friend? Are you going to stab her from behind now, huh?”

“I was too scared that I wouldn’t have a friend since we separated, and she approached me first. I know, I was selfish; we were both selfish. But, do you think I will stand still when Nayeon’s trying to make you suffer? You’re still my best friend, Nara, even if that’s my only thought.”

I couldn’t think straight, I was really confused because of her. Did she really said the truth?

“Where’s he now?”

“Nayeon said that their flight to Korea was this morning, so they should be here this afternoon? What are you going to do now?”

“Of course to end everything with Wonwoo, I shouldn’t stay with him any longer. And if you words were lies, I will kill you, Kwon Byul.”

After hearing the news, I should’ve cried. But I was still confused at everything, and the fact that he’s not the only one who’s cheating in this relationship made me realized that this might be happened to me someday.

Maybe this is really the right time to end everything with him. Everything seems to be true, he’s still couldn’t move on from Mina, that’s why I was never on his priority list. He was trying to move on by dating me, and I bet it was hard for him.

They were dating for five years long, and I suddenly came to their life like I know everything about Wonwoo. I was confident that Wonwoo would choose me no matter what, but I was wrong. Mina was still the biggest part of him, and I was nothing.

He was suffering, and I was forcing him to suffer more by cheating on him.

“Stop zoning out, would you?” Mino woke me up from my thought, opening the water bottle for me, “Drink first.”

“What’s gotten into you?”

“I just want to make Mingyu jealous.” Then he laughed. He is still as crazy as before, unbelievable.

I hit him with the water bottle, “Get lost, Mino. I really have no energy to fight with anyone today.”

“Is it about the boys again?”

“Do I really have to tell you?”

Suddenly, Mino my hair, and smiled. “Why? You don’t want to tell me because I’m still the crazy bastard? I really have nothing that I don’t know about you, though. We used to date, and shared everything.”

“Did Nayeon gave something wrong to you?”

“Well, I’m just tired and miss the old me?”

“But you are still the same as before, stupid.”

“If you behave a little, maybe Nayeon wouldn’t think twice to be your girlfriend. But, unfortunately, you’re behaving like you don’t have a brain. Just look at Mingyu, girls adore him because he knows how to treat them well.”

“Wow, defending your boyfriend?”

I laughed with him, and that was the first time since the last time I laughed with Mino. Actually, he is kind, and he really does everything for the one that he loves. But minus the behavior, since he really, really, doesn’t think twice before speaking or doing things.

Does he really think that I’m going to believe when he said that he wants to get me back? The way he does everything for Nayeon, even being her lackey, was really a big truth that he already fall head over heels to Nayeon.

I really don’t understand how his mind’s working; instead of helping Nayeon to get Mingyu back, why doesn’t he just try to get Nayeon directly? Instead of following her everywhere, why doesn’t he just walk beside her?

“I thought you were with Kwon Byul.” Mingyu suddenly approached us, and he was really scary.

“Yeah, we were talking, and I just sat here.”

“Oops, I really need to go.” Song Mino, his plan was a big success. Seems like he really made Mingyu jealous. “Bye!” then he ran away, before Mingyu could landed his fist on his jaw.

“And I was waiting for you for the whole time there,” he pointed to the outside, “I thought you’re going back to me. But you’re talking with him instead?”

Was he really serious? Jealous on Song Mino? Is he even in his right state? Isn’t this funny?

“And how does he know that you can’t open a water bottle?”

“Mingyu, he used to be my boyfriend, and you know that. Stop being childish, can you?”

“He also touched your hair like that, do you think I don’t know?”

“Huh? Are you jealous at him? Song Mino? Are you on your right state, Mingyu?”

“Can’t I be jealous at my own girlfriend?”

But you’re never jealous at Wonwoo, when he’s the biggest problem here. Song Mino is just a joke, though.

“I really have no energy to fight with anyone, I have so many things to think right now.”

“Can’t you tell me? You were really different for the past days, and I didn’t feel like you trust me as your boyfriend to share your problems with?”

“I can’t tell you now.”

Of course, how could I tell him that Wonwoo’s cheating on me with Mina? Mingyu doesn’t even know that he’s not the only boyfriend that I have.

“Why? But you’ve told Mino?”

“I didn’t tell anything to Song Mino, and can you stop being jealous at nothing? He was literally sitting there for a minutes and talked to me, and you acted like I’ve gone with him for the past days?”

“Can’t I say that you’ve changed, Nara?”

“Kim Mingyu, you really have to cool your head before saying things like that. Learn how to think from different position, could you? I’m so tired of you.”

I was going to leave, but he grabbed my arms – tightly. “Learn how to think from different position? Don’t you remember how many time I’ve let you go and tried to understand? I just want to know what happened to you for the past days and you won’t let me know?”

I was in a mess for the past days because Wonwoo basically ignored me after what happened in the car at that time. Turned out that he’s in Thailand with his ex, and how could I tell Mingyu? I know that he was always understanding and all, but I really can’t tell him about this one.

I don’t know why he decided to sit behind me this morning, and we had to be in a fight right after that. Sure, he was really mad at me, but I really couldn’t tell him about this one. And I can’t be mad at him, since it was really not his fault to be mad at me. I was the one at fault, and I deserved to be treated like this.

He was laying his head on the desk, with his left arm was sticking to the front, near my body. I held his hand, and the back of his hand with my thumb. I feel sorry for him that he has to be my second boyfriend that I just needed when Wonwoo’s not with me.

I promised, I’m going to end things with Wonwoo soon.

Mingyu was still sleeping when the bell rang, and I quickly ran out of the school before he woke up; then stopping a cab in front of the gate. I have to make sure that Kwon Byul’s words were right; that Wonwoo went to Thailand with Mina.

“Nara?” Wonwoo’s brother greeted me as he came out of the car, and I just arrived to their place. “Are you going to see Wonwoo?”

“Uhhm, yeah.”

“Seems like you really missed him since he went to Thailand for a week?”

Oh, he really went to Thailand.

“I thought he went with you,” he continued. “Seems like he went with a friend?”

“Yeah, is Wonwoo home?”

He looked to the black car beside his car, “Wonwoo’s car is here, maybe he’s also home. Come in.” and he pressed the password, letting me in. “Maybe he’s in his room, just barge in there. I’m going to take shower now.”

Bohyuk went to his room and I walked slowly to Wonwoo’s room. There’s a strage feeling, and I can tell that something bad is going to happen. But my feet couldn’t stop walking to his room, and I had to force myself to stop in front of the door.

This is my choice, I really need to face him and know about everything. I pulled the doorknob slowly… just to found out that Wonwoo was making out with Mina, on the bed. Both of them were looking at me, and I quickly ran away.

I didn’t know that it would be this hurt, to see him with someone that he truly loves. And that someone is not me. I could heard that Wonwoo was following me, shouting my names. But I really didn’t want to look back.

No, this is not my plan. I was planning to face him bravely, to end everything, and even telling him that I’m also cheating on him so we’re fair. But that was beyond hurt, my brain was recalling the scene when he kissed Mina and how their body sticks to each other.

“Nara!” he finally caught me, grabbing my wrist. “Listen to me first!”

“How’s Thailand? Did you enjoy it?”

He was flustered, and I was holding my tears.

“Did you leave to Thailand because I didn’t give you what Mina could give, that night? So, you just wanted that from me?”

“! It wasn’t like that! I didn’t mean that, Nara! This Thailand thing were planned way before we did that on my car.”

“So, you were planning to go to Thailand with your ex, just the two of you, since a long time ago, but couldn’t even give me a single text?”

“Her parents bought us a ticket to Thailand, and I couldn’t say no to them. They haven’t know that we already broke up, Nara. Five years relationship is way more than the two of us, it’s also about the families.”

“I know, it’s my fault to into your life. Ever since the first time, I should’ve known that you two can’t be separated. And you were right, you’re really bad at words, and more you opened your mouth, the more you messed up.”

He finally let go of my hand, “I was trying to be faithful to you. I thought I could move on from Mina, that’s why I dated you. But seems like everything on me is used to do everything with Mina since we already did everything for the past five days. And it was hard for the both of us to be separated. I was trying to protect you, but I also hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” he paused, and I know what the next sentences is. “Let’s end this, Nara. I don’t want to hurt you anymore.”

So this how it feels to be dumped? To be cheated? To be stepped? I was cheating on him for the whole time, and I was going to tell the truth. But his words did hurt me so much that I couldn’t even speak a single thing to him.

So this is how it feels to be Mingyu. To be approached when needed. When I don’t have Wonwoo beside me, I was always search for Mingyu. But when I had Wonwoo with me, I didn’t even know who Mingyu is.

It must be hard for him, and he doesn’t even know that he’s trusting me, the one who cheated on him. It must be hard for him, to have to understand me in any circumstance, when all I did was lying to him.

It must be hard for Mingyu, I shouldn’t cry like this, because all of this is entirely my fault.

Wonwoo didn’t even walk after me after I said yes, that we had to end everything. He was just letting me to walk by myself, and it hurts me. He walked back to his house, to Mina who was waiting for him. I was never be his priority, and I will never be one.

We were never seeing the same page, or even looking at each other deeply. I don’t even know single thing of him, all that we did was roleplaying like we were the happiest couple. He was right at the first time, kiss doesn’t mean anything. Anyone can kiss without having a fling. And he really did that.

He didn’t feel like what I felt to him since the first time he kissed me.

“Where have you been? How could you just back at this hour?” was the first thing that Mingyu said after we met in front of my house. Seems like he was waiting for me for the whole time, he didn’t even wear his jacket. Stupid.

I took off my jacket, putting it around his shoulder. “I’ve told you, I really don’t have any energy to fight with you.”

“I didn’t come to fight, Nara. I want to apology.” His voice suddenly got weaker.

“I know, I also want to apology. Let’s break up. I’m sorry, Mingyu.”

His smile faded away, then he held my hand, preventing me to go.

“I know I was crazy to be jealous at Song Mino, but I didn’t want to break up with you just because of that, Nara!”

“It wasn’t because Song Mino. I’ve thought about this, I was hurting you a lot, and put you into a difficult position a lot. You’re really a saint, and I’m a sin.”

“Then what was it about?”

Because I know how it feels to be cheated, and I feel sorry for it. I shouldn’t be selfish anymore, I really don’t deserve Mingyu. I really don’t deserve anyone.

“Nara! Answer me!” he was tightening the grip, and I could just look to the ground, still holding my tears.

“I was cheating on you, Mingyu. I was dating Wonwoo for the whole time, yet I accepted you after that. I was lying to you, and you don’t deserve that. You deserve better, you shouldn’t be with me.”

He suddenly loosened the grip, pushing my chin up. “I knew. I knew that you dated Wonwoo, ever since the first time. I just acted like I don’t know, because I don’t want to lose you. You weren’t cheating on me, it was my choice after all. I was the selfish one, not you. And I don’t want to break up with you.”

He knew? That’s why he was always being understanding everytime something happened to me and Wonwoo? How could he resist everything for the whole time?

How could Mingyu held the pain?

***

a/n; have you seen the fancam of seventeen concert yesterday? mingyu and wonwoo's special stage? THEY LITERALLY FIGHTING OVER A GIRL, and the most crucial thing was when they stick their forhead TO EACH OTHER O M G. DID THEY FOUGHT OVER NARA #STOPMEANNIE2K16