I’ve spent most of my times with him lately that it hard for me to lie even about a little thing to him since he also have spent most of his times with me. We are in the same class, in the same school, and even attending the same study group; and I’m happily being forced to be with him all the time.

I’m happy? Yes. I’ve never been this happy before. Even when Mingyu didn’t do anything, I’m just happy to be with him. I’m happy to the extent that it’s okay even if the whole world hates me, because I still have Mingyu on my back.

Does he feel the same? Mingyu’s still the most understanding boyfriend, the most caring and the most cutely annoying boyfriend ever. Sometimes I think he’s greasy, or he just wants to see my annoyed and blushed face.

And the fact that he’s so bad at lying, is making my heart aches. He said that he doesn’t miss his Mom, he’s okay when his Mom told him to leave, that he’s okay to live without knowing his Mom, and he doesn’t want to meet his Mom again – ever.

He was lying, and hoping for another thing. It hurts to see him saying those, when his heart says another thing. His eyes would be super glassy whenever I started to talk about his Mom; and he would be mad at me for that.

How should I tell him that I’ve been in contact with his Mom for all the time? That I’m reporting his condition and even his whereabouts to his Mom, when he’s avoiding her to death. He would be angry at me for sure, and he might not want to meet me again ever after finding out that I’m doing this behind his back.

And I don’t want to end everything – anything – with him.

His hair is messy, and also wet because of the sweat. But he’s still smiling while running to me after scoring a goal. Giving him the water bottle for him to drink, I can’t hold the urge to hug him, and he was shocked.

“Nara?”

I patted his back, “You’ve worked hard, Kim Mingyu.”

“What happened, Nara?”

He really has a quick wit; I told him that he had worked hard after scoring a goal even though I meant for something else so that he wouldn’t be confused. But he asked me, what happened? See? I really can’t lie to him and vice versa.

I brushed his hair with my fingers, “You scored a goal, Mingyu!”

“Oh? Okay?”

“I have to go first, let’s meet at the study group!”

“Where are you going?”

“Mom told me to do something,” I pecked his cheek quickly then grabbed my bag, “See you!”

Actually, I’m going to meet his Mom today because she says that it’s her birthday. I didn’t know what present should I give to her, so these days I took a lot of photos of Mingyu with my polaroid camera that he often questioned why did I took a lot of photos. And I had to lie (again) saying that I just want to have a lot of photos of him.

I also borrowed his photo album from his baby days, and captured it with my polaroid camera. Because his Mom doesn’t even know how Kim Mingyu grows up, and even though she admitted that it’s her fault – doesn’t it really hurt to have a completely zero memories of her own son?

At least if she couldn’t meet Mingyu, she could look at the photos of him.

“Where are you going?” Kwon Byul stopped me, “Wheree are you going, Kim Nara?”

“I have something to do, please, I’m in a rush.”

“Are you going to meet Wonwoo? No. I’m not going to let you go.”

“I swear I’m not going to meet him, Kwon Byul. Please, let me go.”

“Where are you going, then?”

I dragged her to a quieter place, “I’m going to meet Migyu’s Mom.”

“His Mom? I thought he doesn’t have a Mom?”

“Uhm, that’s why you have to keep this as a secret from everyone especially from Mingyu. I can’t explain the whole thing since it’s his privacy. Can I trust you?”

“Okay, then. But if you actually went to meet Wonwoo, I’m going to kill you, Nara.”

“You can trust me!”

I stopped in a bakery to buy a small cake for her and I chose chocolate cheese cake – Mingyu’s favorite cake. She was already in the café when I arrived, and a girl with short hair was sitting beside her.

“I’m sorry for coming late,” I said and placed the cake on the table then opened the box. “Happy birthday, Ma’am!”

“Oh my God, you don’t have to buy this for me though, Nara. I’m thankful even if you didn’t bring anything.”

“But, this is your birthday.” Then I gave her my present. “And I didn’t know what present should I give to you, so, hope you liked it.”

“But first, let me introduce you to my daughter. Nara, this is Minseo.”

I offered my hand, “Nara.”

“Minseo.”

“You already know that I just told my husband and my daughter that I actually has a son here, in Korea, from my ex husband. I though they’re going to get mad at me, even though I knew that both of them are disappointed in me, but I’m glad that they’re trying to understand my reason. And here I am, trying to get an apology from my son.”

“And I’m excited to meet my brother, but seems like he doesn’t want to meet us? I couldn’t even meet him back then when he went to Los Angeles!”

Her Korean isn’t that fluent and it’s cute how she has that whiny tones when she’s speaking just like Mingyu. Their eyes are also the same, it’s like seeing Mingyu girl version. Mingyu, who always wants to have a little sister for him to take care of, would be really happy if he found out that his step sister wants to meet her – or he also might not be happy.

“Then both of you would like my present then!”

“Wow! This handsome guy is my brother?”

I nodded, “And your son, Ma’am.”

“How I wish he was here with us.”

She was young, and blinded by love. She wasn’t ready to have a son in such a young age with someone that she doesn’t truly love. And it was her decision to run away with someone that she loved. She was hiding the truth that she already had a son that she left in Korea for years, because she doesn’t want her husband to leave her.

And when she told Mingyu to leave, she realized that her past mistake should be fixed, and she shouldn’t run away from the problem like she did when she was young. Having Mingyu wasn’t the mistake, telling him to leave was.

“I have to go to the study group now or Mingyu will kill me. Thank you for the meal, Ma’am.”

“Let’s hang out someday, Unnie.”

Actually as an introvert person, it’s hard for me to socialize with new people that’s why I couldn’t start a conversation with Minseo, and I’m afraid that she would misunderstood my attitude. Seems like they really share some of the same genes, for being understanding and open minded.

“Do you want me to drive you there?”

“It’s okay, I will just take the taxi. If Mingyu found out that I met you, I don’t know what will happens, he is not ready yet.”

“Okay, thank you anyway for today. Let’s meet next time, Nara.” She hugged me and I hugged her back. I hope she will meet Mingyu soon before she leave Korea, I hoped.

***

“Are you hungry?”

I nodded, “My brain is really tired from all the numbers!”

“Don’t pout, Kim Nara! Do you think you are cute?”

“But you are smiling!”

We were walking hand in hand in this cold night, as he put my hand to his coat pocket. Turned out he has a hotpack inside it. Smiling proudly, I couldn’t help but smiling back to him. Even without saying anything, it seems like we could understand each other just by looking at the eyes.

“How’s the wedding?”

“Park Nayeon threw a tantrum again yesterday, I thought she wouldn’t do anything stupid again.”

“Well, she is Park Nayeon, right?”

“I can’t believe in a year I will leave under the same roof with her.”

“So, have they decided?”

“That’s the problem! Her Dad wants to live far away from the city, my Mom wants to live near her office, Park Nayeon wants to live in Apgujeong area, my brother stupidly wants to live outside Korea and I want to live in my old house.”

“Wow, building a family isn’t really easy, isn’t it?”

“I just don’t want to live far away from you.” I hugged him, putting myself inside his coat. His body was really cold, he must be dying here. “Let’s go.” We were going to walk but rain suddenly poured down and we had no choice but running to the bus station.

Both of us were running, laughing, while looking at each other sometimes. It seems like a romantic scene from a romantic movie, and I’m happy with it. I’m happy to be with him. I don’t care if he doesn’t like me as much as I like him, as long as I like him whole-heartedly.

Because he turned me to be better Kim Nara, without changing me into someone else. The drama queen, unlikeable, and selfish Kim Nara is a lot better now. At least I’m no longer pretend to be happy when actually I had so many things going around my head. At least, I could talk a little bit of my problems to both Kwon Byul and Mingyu. And don’t forget that he told me to be open minded to have an easy life.

Kim Mingyu might be cold outside and have a childish habit, but actually has a really mature mind set. Well, experience is the best teacher.

“Today is my Mom’s birthday.”

“You know her birthday?”

“Dad told me this morning. You know he ruined my mood, I just don’t like to hear anything about her.”

“…Oh.” My heart crushed. I don’t think he would want to meet her any time soon. “People makes mistake, you know.”

“I know.” Then he pecked my lips, “Go inside, it’s cold here.”

I nodded, “Go, I will watch you first.”

***

I quickly changed my clothes since I also have an appointment with Wonwoo tonight. We need a talk, just a talk and I swear it wouldn’t be more than that. He has a tour for the next week that’s why he insisted to meet me tonight even though he has a gig. And I hope I wouldn’t bump into someone that I know there.

He arrived to my house an hour later, and it was really awkward in the car. I remembered how this car is the last place we actually had a talk, and almost did that thing. Then he went to Thailand with Mina after that before we broke up. And now, I agreed to talk with him again after all those things.

I don’t want him to think that he’s the only one who did wrong, I also cheated on him and he has to know that.

Looking at this state now, he is skinnier, his hair is longer, and his skin is paler. His nose is also red, I bet he’s freezing even though the heather was already . It’s sad how I couldn’t make sure he eats his meal on time now, because when he’s focused on something, he would forget anything else.

“How are you?” he finally broke the ice.

“Good. How about you?”

“Kind of tired. Gigs, tour, campus, and Mina doesn’t help either.”

Oh . His low voice is still my favorite melody.

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Ranting about marriage. She wants me to promise to marry her. It’s not like I don’t want to marry her, but, gosh, we are still very young. Girls nowadays.”

And still close-minded as ever.

“Maybe she’s pregnant.”

“Huh? No. she’s definitely not pregnant. It’s because Soojung is going to marry Sehun soon that she doesn’t want to lose.”

“Wait…, but Soojung is my brother’s girlfriend why would she marry Sehun?”

“Oh? You don’t know? Soojung is already four months pregnant with Sehun’s baby. Jongin was extremely mad at that time that he fought until Sehun couldn’t walk properly. But he couldn’t do anything, Soojung is fated to be with Sehun.”

“So that was cheating behind him all the time?”

He coughed, then continued, “From what I heard from Sehun, Jongin left Soojung at the club after arguing with her, then Sehun came to soothe her but turned out doing it. Maybe they developed feelings after that but Soojung still couldn’t leave Jongin?”

Maybe that’s why my brother was really mad when he found out that I cheated on Wonwoo with Mingyu? Because he knew how it hurts to be cheated? Gosh, I should’ve talked more with him, he’s suffering more than everyone in the house!

Is that mean he went to the mountain by himself, and not with Soojung?

“We are here.”

“Wonwoo,” I grabbed his hand, “I want to talk about something.”

“Can we talk later?”

“Can we talk now?”

“But I’m already late, Nara. Let’s talk while walk.”

If he’s already late then I shouldn’t make him wait anymore so I just agreed to walk inside. My first intention was to spill the truth inside the car then leave right away. but now I’m walking down the stairs with him, what a plan.

“Wonwoo,”

“Hmmm?”

“I don’t want you to feel sorry anymore. You weren’t the one who cheated on me, I – I also cheated on – you.”

I know that he’s disappointed since I played victim all the time and made him the guilty. I just hope he wouldn’t yell at me in front of so many people here.

“I really don’t have a time to play a joke with you, Kim Nara. Let’s talk after the performance.”

“No. I was spilling the truth. I’m sorry, Wonwoo.”

He avoided my gaze and walked away, I tried to catch him but I tripped on my own shoes, and fell down on the stairs. Wonwoo tried to help me but I already on the ground, and my foot was in a total pain. Seems like I sprained something.

“Nara? Are you okay?”

“My right foot, I can’t move it.” I cried, and he quickly piggy backing me to the car. It was really hurt that I couldn’t think straight, it feels like my bone is broken into a pieces.

Luckily the hospital is near, and I could be treated quickly. The doctor said that I sprained my ankle and not something worse. Gosh, I thought I wouldn’t be able to walk anymore.

“I called your brother.” I know that he’s still disappointed in me, but shouldn’t he toned it down a bit? I mean, I just sprained my ankle because of him and he literally did something worse than I am. Yes, I was cheating on him, but I didn’t go overseas and sleep with Mingyu. How could he be the one who got really mad?

“Wonwoo? Gosh. Stop sulking. We are even now that you don’t have to feel sorry towards me again.”

He didn’t answer.

“You did worse, Wonwoo! I should be the one who get mad, not you!”

“Jeon Wonwoo!”

“Man, you are still annoying. Now I remembered why I cheated on you.”

“And do you thing I had no reason to cheat on you too, Kim Nara?”

“Nara! Are you o – kay?”

My brother was running to my room, with Mingyu behind him.

I’m dead.

***

a/n; i was busy for my thesis... then went camping and had hard times these days that i'm tired of crying already:( but i'm glad that i could write this story again and meet you guys. i'm sorry for the late update, i'm really sorry:(