*

Then I won’t be…

Then I won’t be…

Then I won’t be…

Jiyong’s answer is echoing Taeyeon’s mind that she suddenly didn’t know what to say and how to react. Because if she would assume, then his answer means he doesn’t want their deal to stop. But why? That’s what she wants to know.

“Why?” She asked in a slightly shaking voice.

Jiyong looked at her in a split second then concentrated on the road again.

“Why am I answering questions when my original question wasn’t answered yet?” He asked again.

Why can’t he just answer it? She wants to know the reason why because even if she doesn’t want to, a glint of hope is slowly rising inside her. Now that she’s considering to quit.

“I just need to know because if I’ll be honest now, I’m so close to forgetting this deal.” She answered.

She saw Jiyong smirked. And with a slightly bitter tone, he talked.

“Why? Because you like someone else now?” He asked in sarcasm.

Taeyeon frowned thinking why Jiyong is suddenly acting like that.

“Why are you talking like that? Why are we here anyway? Why did you take me away from him?” Taeyeon continuously asked because she’s really at lost.

*

Jiyong, on the other hand, is beginning to lose his temper. He just originally wanted to ask if Taeyeon likes Seunghyun but they already kept on asking each other. And just now, Taeyeon is asking him another difficult question even himself doesn’t know how to answer.

“I don’t know, okay? Just answer my question! Do you like him?” He repeated with a slightly high voice.

But Taeyeon didn’t answer him again.

“What now, you’re allowed to say you don’t know while I’m not?” She answered with a little irritation too.

Now, they’re even arguing. And he just freaking wants to know if she likes his hyung!

“Just freaking tell me if you like him! That is so simple!” He shouted then he stopped the car and pulled over.

*

If Jiyong’s irritated now, so is she. This man is giving her headache. Why does he want to know if she likes Seunghyun? To finally be free from her? Or because he’s jealous? She doesn’t have any idea and it is so frustrating!

She closed her eyes and counted..3..2..1.. the bomb was dropped.

“It’s you that I really like, okay? What do you think is the main reason why I’m pushing myself too much on you? Why do you think I’m allowing myself to look stupid in front of you? You know what, I’m really a fool because if I’m in my right sense of mind, I would’ve fallen in love with Seunghyun. But here I am, liking the hell out of you and I don’t even know why! You and not him! So tell me, why? Why are you acting like this? Why are you doing this?” She said now tearing up but wiped them at once after she’s done talking.

Jiyong didn’t talk for a while and she felt dizzy. Maybe he didn’t expect it at all, maybe he just really wanted to know if she likes Seunghyun because if she does, then he’ll be out of her life.

Taeyeon smirked.

“Let’s stop this. Drive now.” She said.

But Jiyong didn’t move so Taeyeon opened the car door to get out of the car but Jiyong’s hand stopped her.

Dugeun. Dugeun.

“I’m jealous. There. I’m so freaking jealous yet I don’t know why and worse, I feel so guilty for feeling this way. I don’t understand myself, Taeyeon. So please. Let’s just stop asking questions first.” Jiyong said then he looked at her.

For a few moments, both stared at each other but Taeyeon looked away first and pulled her arm.

“Drive.” She commanded.

Jiyong obliged and that was their last conversation of the night.

*

The next day, Taeyeon woke up with a gurgling stomach. The delicious aroma she smells is adding up to her hunger so she fixed herself and went out of the room at once.

There she saw Jiyong fixing the table which, by the way, has a bouquet on the center.

“Sit down. Let’s eat.” Jiyong said without looking at her.

Somehow, the atmosphere is a little awkward after last night.

Both of them sat down facing each other.

“Uhm… Why are there flowers here?” Taeyeon asked starting a conversation while both of them are already eating.

Jiyong cleared his throat.

“Those are for you.” He said without looking at Taeyeon.

Taeyeon frowned and wondered why Jiyong will do something like that after what happened last night.

“Why are you suddenly becoming so sweet? Isn’t that usually my role?” She asked in sarcasm.

Jiyong then looked at her.

“I woke up like this.” Jiyong said then continued with his food.

Taeyeon shrugged her shoulders but got the flowers anyway. Despite what happened, she secretly smiled at the thought that Jiyong gave her flowers. First sweet gesture coming from him actually.

She saw the note and read it only to be disappointed.

This is just an apology. I repeat, JUST an apology.

Her smile faded when she read the note. Somehow, she felt ashamed of herself.

“Yeah, I understand already. You don’t need to make it in capslock mode.” Taeyeon said then she put that bouquet back on the table.

“Hey, I was supposed to be sweet by that gesture.” Jiyong defended.

But Taeyeon rolled her eyes.

“Well, only if you didn’t write the note. Excuse me, I need to call someone.” She said then stood up while sulking.

Jiyong stood up as well.

“Yah, who are you going to call? Seunghyun hyung?” Jiyong shouted seeing Taeyeon already going back to the room.

“You’re not my mom to know!” Taeyeon replied without looking back.

*

Taeyeon was so pissed when she reached the room.

“Apology, your face. Who says I’m hoping you like me? Hah! Fine, don’t marry me!” Taeyeon said as she talked to herself killing Jiyong inside her mind.

Then suddenly, her phone rang. It was Seunghyun.

Taeyeon hesistated for a while because she knows Seunghyun is going to talk about what happened last night and she doesn’t know what to say, but after several rings, she picked the call up.

“Hi.” Seunghyun greeted.

“Hi. Seunghyun, I’m sorry about what happened yesterday.” She said with an apologetic voice.

She heard him chuckle a little.

“Don’t explain, it’s not your fault. But about what I said, I hope you know how to read between the lines.” He said with a serious tone.

Taeyeon didn’t know what to answer. She likes Seunghyun, of course, she’s so comfortable with him, she’s so thankful, but the like she feels for him is different from the like she has for Jiyong and maybe different from the like Seunghyun feels for her.

“Uhm… actually…” Taeyeon said running out of words.

Good thing Seunghyun talked already.

“You don’t need to answer me now. You like Jiyong, I know. But I’ll wait until you realize the truth. And by then, I hope you’ll open your heart to me too.” He said.

Taeyeon felt admiration for the guy for understanding her. Who in the world won’t fall for him, right?

“Why are you so perfect?” Taeyeon asked.

He answered but not after a few seconds.

“I’m not, because if I am, you would’ve been my girlfriend by now. But anyway, no pressure, I’m just here. Nothing’s gonna change.” Seunghyun said.

 “Thank you.” She simply said.

“Yeah, I gotta go now. Take care of yourself.” Seunghyun said.

“Yeah. You too.” She answered.

Then they ended the call. Somehow, she felt guilty and stupid. Guilty because she indirectly let Seunghyun feel she’s rejecting him and stupid because she’s liking someone who’s not going to like her back.

And somehow, she wanted to think about things so she didn’t leave the room until Jiyong left. And for the rest of the day, they didn’t talk to each other. For Seunghyun, she didn’t reply his messages for the mean time.

*

The next morning, Taeyeon did the same. She didn’t go out of the room not until Jiyong left. She’s clearing her mind about everything. About the two guys who are bugging her mind.

She’s left thinking between sanity and craziness with Seunghyun being the sanity while Jiyong being the craziness. 

And while she was having breakfast, she received a call from Tiffany.

“Tae, let’s go shopping. I’m planning to buy a gift for Youngbae.” Tiffany said.

Tiffany’s really an angel. Yeah, she needs someone to talk to as well.

“Sure. Now?” Taeyeon asked.

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up. Wait for me.” Tiffany said then she ended the call.

So she prepared then after a while, Tiffany arrived then they went to the mall.

*

Taeyeon and Tiffany went at every stall to find a perfect gift for Youngbae but Taeyeon wasn’t focused on shopping and Tiffany noticed it so they decided to have some snack.

“Tae, you look so bothered. Care to tell me what’s going on?” Tiffany worriedly asked.

Taeyeon sighed.

“Do you know that feeling when you know you need