things you said when you were scared
things you saidI reached for his hand, grabbing it tighter when he flinched.
I did foresee this, even if it came later than initially expected. I knew he would end up like this, and I knew I was trying to ignore it. He said he would be fine and I took his words at surface value because that was easier on me.
There weren't many days left.
Every second ticking reminds us of the impending dread.
"What if you are secretly into Western blood?"
I pressed my lips together.
"What if you turned straight?"
I took in a deep breath.
"What if you forget me?"
I let it out.
He was shaking and fighting with himself, and I didn't want to repeat yesterday.
We fought and he cried so badly. He didn't let me touch him, screaming and yelling that I was going to be all hypocritical because once I leave Korea, I was a free man once more.
Why would I let myself be held down by him? He was nothing special, just whiny and useless, and I could find someone so much better out there in America.
He wouldn't let me say a word, slamming my bedroom door shut in my face, gasps of air between his cries and sniffles all so loud as I leaned against the door dejectedly.
I wanted to hold him, I wanted to tell him.
But every word I tried to utter, he screamed unintelligibly back.
I would be gone for months and there aren't many chances left, but all these strain on our relationship is stressing me out that dangerous thoughts of taking a break from this love kept invading my head.
I fell asleep to his sobs.
He woke up today and found me sleeping against my bedroom door, slightly less hysterical as we sat in silence during breakfast.
His eyes were red, but his gaze was averting.
I squeezed his hand as we sat on the sofa, trying to keep him conscious of my presence. Anything I say could trigger a fight, and I didn't dare hold him close.
He finally met my eyes, his own all puffed up and bloodshot. He crawled up onto my lap and I watched him press himself against my chest, uncontrollable tears falling once more.
"I'm so..." He whimpered, trembling in my hold. "...so afraid."
I bit down painfully on my own lips, squeezing his form tightly.
I was too.
"I don't want to..." He shook his head, arms going around my neck as he clung closer. "I can't lose you..."
I tried to be strong for the both of us, blinking my tears away.
But I can't, too.
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Ten prompts down, thirteen more left :O
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