I don’t even know what this party is all about but it has been so long since he had thrown one. He invited his team mates, some of his classmates and Onew.  I know there will be a lot of people and I can sense that he is throwing this party for me. Maybe my brother noticed how I don’t give a about other people anymore unlike before where I always want to socialize. To be honest, after what happened I’m too scared. I am too afraid to get attached to people.

“Can you both run to the crafts store and buy some decoration?”

“Are you throwing a birthday party?” I say sarcastically. What does he need? Colorful ?

“No”

“Then who the hell cares about that? As long as there’s booze and food everything will be just fine”

“No, my team mate ask me to buy some because he’ll be decorating that room. He’s going to ask this girl to be his girlfriend. He’ll be coming later”

“Urgh! Fine give me”

I am also mentally and emotionally preparing myself because Onew and Nadine will be at the freaking party. I keep convincing myself that the only way to move on is to get used that they are together. That I should stop hoping and stop wondering.

“You’ve been out these past few minutes” Joy asked which I barely noticed

“Huh?” I looked at her confused

“You’ve been spacing out”

“Just thinking”

“About Onew?”

“No…” I lied.

“I get it, you’re nervous to see them huh? Actually it was me who requested your brother to invite them. I’m sorry to give you that burden but I think it’s time for you to get used to it and start moving on. As your best friend, I want to hurt him, I really do. I was rooting for the both of you, you know that. I want you to move on too and meet other people. Onew doesn’t deserve you.  So I thought if he sees you having fun without him, he’ll know he made a wrong choice in hurting you”

I stared into space again. I’m not mad at her for what its worth I smiled at her and held her hand. She must be getting upset about this and maybe blaming herself and I don’t want that.

“It’s okay. I’ll have fun don’t worry. With or without Onew”

**

Everything started to get loud by the time the sun is setting. Loud music, barbeque, silly games, guys and girls dancing and the part I love the most was the bonfire. It was a last minute idea of mine since I’m really awesome.

I drank some alcohol and socialized with some guys getting tons of numbers. There are some that I like and some that will never be contacted again. Onew is still not here so there’s time for fun before he kills it. Oh his presence would kill the mood. For the first time in so long I am having a great time without faking it. I am having the time of my life and maybe I drank so much alcohol but who cares? I giggled to myself

I feel woozy so I sat down by the camp fire and just stared at it. Then I heard everyone was cheering, maybe Onew’s here…and there he is. We looked at each other and I stared at him for a little while then back to the fire. I noticed he was alone. I don’t see any girl beside him tonight. Then I heard him say that she can’t make it. She still has a paper to finish. Pfft. Ms. goody good good.

My head is spinning a little but this should not stop me from having fun right? Then suddenly someone sat beside me and it caught me off guard

“Hi,”

“Hey…”

“Why are you alone?”

“I am always alone”<