We all have that one moment where we want to erase in our lives. To some it could be their failed prom night or an embarrassing moment in class. To other it may be the time you got rejected up front by the person you like or saying something embarrassing in front of your ultimate crush

To me, it was when I started loving Onew…

It has been two days when we arrived back here in Korea. My mom and her new boyfriend promised they’ll come visit this year. Can you imagine that? My mother has a better love life than I do.That night, she talked to me personally of what’s bothering me and I said some things and omitted some things too. After that girl talk, a day after that, she surprised me into a shopping spree. So we went to shopping malls, bought new make-ups and dresses and shoes. It was heaven and for a little while, I forgot how Onew ruined me. How he cold heartedly pushed me away from him.

I have been quiet ever since we came back because my ty big brother keeps talking about him.

“Onew’s gonna be back the next day”

“yeah?”

“I bet he’ll gonna be shocked at that picture of him on the bulletin board”

“yeah.”

“Hey, are you okay?”

“I’m fine”

“You have been so down lately. Ever since we arrived, you’ve managed to say just one word to my questions. Tell me is something bothering you. Did something happen?”

“No…nothing. I am just not in the mood. I’m on my period”

“I see. Well I better go and visit my girlfriend and give her these souvenirs”

“Mom will like her. I told her she’s nice”

“who wouldn’t love her right?”

“yeah.”

I know my brother can feel something is wrong with me too so he gave me a comforting hug and a kiss on the crown of my head

“You can talk to me anytime okay?”

I just stayed in my room all day and hadn’t even bothered to check my phone until it rang. It was Joy but I didn’t answer. Idon’t want to answer. I don’t have the energy and I don’t want to talk

“I’m coming over” she texted

There was a knock  on the door minutes later.

“It’s open”

“hey, good to see you”

“yeah.”

“Are you okay?”

“Why does everyone asking me if I am okay?! I AM FINE. PLEASE JUST STOP ASKING!” I don’t know why I yelled. There was shock on Joy’s face and I know I have done something wrong

“perhaps it’s not a good time”

“yeah.”

She left. Without saying good bye and I know I have hurt her feelings. I don’t know why I did that. I want to scream and lash out. That hurt that Onew caused turned into anger. I kept it bottled inside for se