The time has passed and I don’t even receive any confession,or even an apology from them.especially Kris.but what I can’t believe is that Angie,Luhan sister is a part of this too.that’s so ridiculous to me.I mean why would she take parts?she’s got to do with all this anyway.it’s bothering me and no matter how hard I tried not to think about it,it’s still crossed in my mind sometimes.my love life is so in’ messed up.

  After I broke up with Kibum last time,until now I didn’t have any boyfriend.maybe this is somekind like a karma for me,for hurting the person that truly loves me.everytime that I remember about him,that guilty feelings also came.I’m such a bad person,basically me and Kris we’re so different I guess,we’re both hurt people’s feeling so deep.I just got out of the class when Vic approach me

“Unnie ..what are you doing here?” I asked confusedly.

“Of course to see you dummy”

“Well yeah I do know that,I mean..it’s so not like you came to my campus just to see me?”

“So?is that a problem?”

“You know that’s not what I mean”

“Just shut up..come with me”

“Where are we going?”

“You’re asking too many questions Am” she pulled my hands outside the building

“I need to buy a new dress,all my dress collection is already outdated.here’s the car keys,you drive” as she throw the keys to me

I catch the car keys and get in “But why it’s so sudden?’ 

“Didn’t Krystal tell you yet?’

“She didn’t tell me anything”

“Well..she’s going to throw a party tonight.but I think it’s more like her engagement party with both of their parents”

“Ohh ..she didn’t tell me yet,maybe she’s busy with the whole party thing”

“You know she’s also the youngest but,when it comes to love life,I feel like she’s braver,serious,and committed than all of us.she’s young and yet she’s the one who got engage first.and there’s a possibility that she could be  the one who got married first”

“Yeah..there’s a possibility as long as their relationship is strong enough to face of all odds.what about you and Changmin oppa.are you guys good?”

“We’re good.he’s so damn busy lately,so we didn’t have our quality time together lately but at least he’s still giving me news about his whereabouts and  what he’s been doing”

“How long have guys been together?”

“It’s been two years Am..”

“And …you guys haven’t talk about that marriage kind of thing?”

“Not yet ..I don’t want to pressure him and also I don’t wanna rush it either.marriage is not that simple”

“You guys old enough though”

“I’m aware about my age Amber…just shut up and drive”

   And then we arrived in front a pretty big building and it turns out this is somekind of a studio and a boutique that I assume Vic came here often.since the worker greet her like they’ve known her for a long time.and just like what I thought,Vic unnie know the owner really well.they’re same age friends to be exact.Vic told her that she’s going to a party tonight and she need a new dress,and she’s the one who’s gonna pick it for her.Vic tried all different dress,different motives,and then different model but no one seems to match her taste.and I’m waiting for like an hour and a half when she finally picks a simple gold dress that was long until her ankles that show her bare shoulders and cleavage.finally she’s done chose this and that,I grabbed the car keys and heading outside …

“Let’s go now.I’m starving because of you “

“Where do you think you’re going?we’re not done yet young lady”

I’ turned my body around just to see her crossing her arms“What else?you’ve got your dress”

“We’re going to pick a dress for you.come here”

Damn it,I can’t say no to her.I’d just walk lazily towards her.and she’s smiled at my defeat

“I have a dress at home Vic.come on this is so unnecessary”

“Nope ..we’re gonna get a new one for you.so.. this is Rachel,and she’s going to choose the perfect dress for you”

  She always win.it must be great to be the older ones,so the younger ones will obey no matter what you say.and I can’t help it but showing my sulking face.she’s making me trying all different dresses.who am I?the made of honor girl?this is not even a wedding finally after countless trying dress,I’m finally found the perfect dress that fit with my taste.it’s a  grey silk long sleeve and a backless dress with a few ornaments around the ankles and wrist.well,now the “torment” by Vic unnie is done.well …I used to be a tomboy,but since I grew older every year made me changes my appearance too,but I’m still not into “shopping”,I do,but only when I like it.I’d rather go around trying many kind of foods from many restaurants all day long

And a few hours before the party begin Krystal just told me about it.and I was right she nearly forgot to tell me since she’s busy with all the preparation.but thank God Vic already told me before hand so I won’t be so surprised.after I put on the dress I applied a natural make up to face and I didn’t anything specific with my hair,I just straighten it.finally…all done.I’m ready to go

When I’m arrived at Krystal house I can see that there’s a lot of guess.Krystal parents aquintance,friends,and also Krystal and Kai’s friends.and both of their parents stand near the front door to welcome the guess.even though that I don’t really know Kai’s parents,I still bowing to them and greet Krystal’s parents who already know me well enough.and I walk around looking for my friends but well..they find me first.

“Unnieeeee ….who did this to you?you look pretty” asked one of our maknae,Sulli

“Ohh thank you Ssul.you look pretty too.and FYI,this person help to choose the dress” as I pointed at Vic unnie

“Of course I am ..the dress look good on her right?”

“Yeah ..you look really beautiful tonight” said Luna

“Too bad you’re dateless” said Vic mocking at me

“Well ..I have you guys.the three of you,remember?”

“Hmm ..well not really unnie” Sulli answered

“What was that supposed to mean?” and I’m looking confused at the three of them

“Actually..we bring our boyfriends here”

“You guys ….what?”

“I know you heard Luna clearly Am” said Vic

“Oh come on ..that’s so mean.so you guys is going let me walking around by myself like a lost kid?”

“Don’t be so dramatic Am.you’re too old to look like a kid” said Vic to me

“And ..we did this so maybe you can find your own date that maybe become a potential boyfriend” Luna explained

    Oh man..remind me why am I being bestfriended with these girls.why did they have to be mean at the wrong times.when I’m about to talk to them to defend my self,the party finally started.both of Krystal and Kai stand in the end of stairs giving an opening speech.and after that Kai and Krystal walking towards the end of the stairs,both of them walking from a different directions.Kai look so damn handsome with a back suit and the other side Krystal look stunning with her one shoulder sling white dresses.after their all gather,Kai’s finally put a ring on Krystal fingers and so the otherwise.and the crowds starts clapping their hands.and then the party starts more casually.then Krys officially introduce Kai to all of us.but it’s more like an events to know each other

“So..guys this is Kai.I’m officially introduce him as my fiancé now” as she said with laugh.and Kai can only smile sweetly at her

“Nice too meet all of ladies” as he looking at our face one by one

“The girl in the gold colored dresses is Victoria unnie,the oldest one,the girl in blue is Luna,the girl in black is Sulli well actually she’s the youngest,not me.and the last one is Amber unnie.and they’re all my most closest friends” Krystal explained

“And …next to them is their boyfriends I assume” Krys continued

“Yepp ..that’s right babe.I know thieir boyfriend really well”

“No way ..you do?” Vic unnie asked

“Well most of them actually.next to Victoria unnie is Changmin hyung,then next to Luna is Jinki slash Onew hyung,next to Sulli the soccer manic Minho.and next to Amber is…no one?”

“Yeah that’s right Kai.no one,I’m dateless just say it”

    And I received a laugh after that.but the girls are still confused how did they know each other,the girls are bestfriends and so with the guys what a weird coincidence.then Jinki oppa explained that he know Kai through Minho who has been his junior in college.and this is the first time that the boys met Changmin oppa.but there’s no awkwardness behind them.Changmin oppa have a friendly,and silly personality and plus an easy going person.but then,Jinki oppa remember something …

“Ah right ..I’m completely forgot,actually Amber is not the one who came dateless”

And then Minho seems to understand what Jinki oppa said “Ah yeah ..that’s true.we also have a friend who came dateless.I guess he’s on the oustside”

“Then call him here...he could be Amber’s date” Kystal gave me her devil smile

“Wait a minute ..I’ll bring him here” then Minho went outside.

   While Minho went outside looking for the “dateless” friend,we’re all sitting together around one table and drinking,and talking to each other basically to muffle the awkwardness since this is the first time we saw others boyfriend faces.and too be honest,their all good looking guy to me.then Minho’s voice can be heard

“He’s here ..” we’re all turn around and saw Minho with …. This can’t be true.is it truly him?

     After Kai announced his engagement with Krystal he said that both of their families will throw a party to make it more formal and official between them.from that moment I know that I’ll be dateless.I mean who would come to a party alone?especially when you’re a guy.I wish that I’m extremely busy today with my work so that I can’t come late to the party or in the worst case I didn’t have to go,but when I think again,I can’t do that.it made me feel bad towards him.so here I am.driving towards Krystal house alone,I bet I look pathetic when I’m arrived..or so I thought.Jinki hyung,Minho,and there’s one guy that I don’t recognize waiting in front yard.

“Key …our dateless man finally here” said Minho welcoming me with his open arms

“I bet you’re so happy teasing me” I said back and hugged him back

“Just ignore this soccer brain.Kibum ah,this is Changmin” Onew hyung said when he hug me

“Hello ..I’m Kibum.Key to be short,nice to meet you”

“It’s nice to meet you too Kibum” he smiled back and shook my hands

“You know ..he’s actually the Vic boyfriend and Vic is actually Luna closest friend” Jinki hyung explained

“And also Sulli closest friends too” Minho added

I just nodded my head to them acting like that I’m understand who is who ..

“And it turns out that our girlfriend know each other very well”Changmin hyung added

“Wow ..that’s an interesting coincidence”

    And then we get it when the crowds already gather around the stairs inside,and after a lot of talking Kai’s finally pull out the ring from the box an put it on around Krystal fingers and so is Krystal.the crowds of guests giving them a loud applause for their engagement.I can tell how happy he is from his smile at her.I feel happy for him too.but after that I went outside,the party started to be more like,casuall I guess.cause the guest started to enjoy the party on their own.I sit on a bench in the frontyard with a glass of wine on my hand.looking at the sky that’s so clear tonight.there’s not much clouds and I can see the moon clearly.I’m just trying to make myself calm and feel relaxed actually.I didn’t think about anyone or anything in particular.then Minho called me and dragging me inside without saying much except “What are you doing here alone?the party is inside dude,not here”

   But when I get inside.I see someone that made my jaw dropped.Is that her?Wha—what is she doing here?I can tell the she shocked too.it’s written all over her face.why do I have to meet her here?this is gotta be a joke

“Tadaaa …he’s our dateless man tonight.his name is Kim Kibum.but you guys can call him Key” Kai introduce me to a few people that I’m not familiar with especially the girls  

“Hello …it’s nice to meet you all.I’m Kibum” and I’m bowing to them

But then when I look at their faces,I recognize someone,Luna.Amber once show me a picture of her and Luna and she told me that she’s her housemate.and I’m sure she recognize me too since she’s staring at me without blinking.I hope she’s the only one who know who I am

“So ..since Amber is also dateless when don’t you both go outside and trying to get to know each other in private right??”suggest Jinki hyung

What the hell?We’re already know each other.we’re even slept together.this is going to be soo awkward.didn’t they know is she?ah damn it I forgot that I never properly introduce them to her.what should I do?and guess what she’s still in shocked and remain silent ..she’s not even looking at me

“Come on Am ..get up.what are you waiting for?” one of her friend told her to get up

   And Kai is also nudging me with his elbow as signal that I should bring her outside.guess I’ve got no choice then.it’ll be suspicious if I didn’t do what they say.I reached out my hands to her

“Would you come along with me Amber-sshi?”

  She looked a bit hesistant but eventualy she hold my hands.and all of friends starts making a noise.like they shouting “Wohoo” to both of us.why do people love teasing me so much?especially Minho.all I can do is glaring at him but he doesn’t seems to understand.so I’d walking out with her.an then in the end we’re both standing next to each other on a balcony.none both of us speaks a word.

“We don’t have to be so awkward towards each other right?” I broke the silence first

“Well yeah ..I agreed.I’m sorry that I should’ve say a proper ‘hi’ to you first”

“Nah ..it’s okay.but we can start it though.I start it first .I cleared my throat then..”Hello Amber,long time no see”

She’s laughing at me.but she played along “Hi ..Kibum.well yeah it’s been a long time.how are you?”

“I’m fine thanks.and you?”

“I’m fine too ..but before I can say anything else,I burst out laughing.and she looked confused

“It feels weird actually.doesn’t it Am?”

“Absolutely haha.you’re still the silly Key that I know”

“Well yeah.there’s not much changed.how’s life ?”

“Still the same,I’m busy with college life but thank God it’ll be ended soon.how about you?”

“I’m still working on the same company but I have a higher position now”

“Congratulations.you’ve worked so hard”

“Haha yeah I guess so.why did you come alone where’s your boyfriend?and  how do you know Krystal?”

“Krystal is one of my bestfriend since highschool besides Luna,Ssul and Vic unnie.and ..No,I don’t have a boyfriend”

“Ohh ..so you guys like five bestfriended girls.I thought it’s just Luna”

“Nope .then how about you?where’s your girlfriend?”

“I know Kai through Minho actually.and it turns out he’s your bestfriend fiancé.Aand I don’t have any girlfriend right now”

“No way ..you lied” she didn’t believe me

“No ..you’re the one who lied.how come a girl like you still single?’

“What?me?No ..I’ve been single till now.since,,, but there’s a silence for a moment but she continue”we broke up”

“There’s a few girls after you actually.but none of them like you Am.there’s something in you that I couldn’t find in those girl” she stay quiet but she’s looking at me

I continue “And until now,I’m still can’t find out what it is.call me cheesy or whatever you want,but there’s something in you Am.when we first met,actually I didn’t intend know you further,but I did.and then I fell for you.I didn’t know how,when,or what.but it just happen that way.and I believe that you don’t need a reason to fall in love with someone.and to be honest,my head has been telling me to forget you but my heart can’t”

“I’m ….sorry that I hurt your feelings.and I’m sorry for breaking your heart Kibum”

“What was your reason actually?can you tell me?because I know you’re not a bad person who like to breaking off peoples heart for fun”

She let out a deep sigh “Guess the truth comes out now.Look ..I know you’re not gonna like about what I’m going to say.the reason that I broke up with you is because I didn’t feel anything deep or special with you.I do care a lot about you,and I know you’re truly sincere about your feelings but at that time my hearts still belong to another person”

“Do you mind if I asked who is he?” I asked carefully

“He’s someone that I like since high school,we’re pretty close friend actually.but too bad it was unreqruited love.he never liked me,instead he’s dating one of closest friend at that time.you know I’m actually confessed to that guy twice and I even cried in front of him,he said that he actually like me too,but he didn’t do anything since he’s it will ruin friendship,but it just a lie and in the end he left me to comeback to his girlfriend.he just left me without say anything not even a word.and what’s even pathetic is that…I leave you for that kind of person”

I was dumbfounded.I’d didn’t what to say or how to react to her long explanation.

“I’m really sorry Kibum.there’s no day that I’ve been through without feeling guilty towards you actually.I should’ve use my head back then,but I’m already blinded”

“To be honest,I’m disappointed knowing that you leave me,the guy that really loves you for that heartless jerk and you just accept me as an impingement or I could say.. stepping stone for you.but on the other side I understand what you feel.everyone is a stupid when it comes to love.and so were you,people makes mistake Am,it’s undeniedable,but because of that,you can learn or even see the thing that you weren’t able to see and learn before.and now you can learn the facts that I’m not over you,I’m in love with you Am”

“But..I’m..I don’t know.I mean I tried to love you once.and  look what I’ve done to you.I’m afraid that I’m going to hurt you again”

“I know you can’t tell someone to love you but,you can learn to fall in love with me step by step.just let the time flows.maybe eventually you’ll fall for me or maybe not it doesn’t matter though.we take our time,slowly start all over again would you do that for me?”

“I’---I’m …..” and I hold her hands tightly

“You can take your time thinking about it.you don’t have to answer it now.I don’t want to make you feel pressured”

“Thank you.for still being in love and nice with me after what I did to you”

“It’s okay Am..it’s all in the past.I did it because I’d just loves you….I pulled her to en embrace,I’d hug her tightly….  So damn much Amber Josephine Liu”

 I've got a new subscribers lately yeaaay.Thank you so much readers.and also maybe around a week I won't be able to update a new chapter.I'm having a mid term test next on Monday T__T,but if I have a time I'll update this story

p.s can anyone suggest me a song that I could listen when I'm feeling a bit upset and lonely?ehehe

Happy reading ;)