My body frozen,word won’t come out from my mouth.I just crying,really hard.I’m feeling stupid,hopeless,betrayed,hate,jealousy,being fooled,everything.I just dialled Luna’s number without thinking.and then she pick up..

“Hello..?”

“......”

“Hello..Amber,are you there?what is it?”

“T—they ar-e  getting back to—get—her” I said with sobbing

“What?who’s getting back together?”

“Kris...and Jessica”

“What the ?seriously?how do you know that?”

“I saw his messeger display pic,why would he use that photo of him and Jess if he’s serious about me?of course they getting back together Luna!” I just raised my voice at her.

“I can’t believe this..stop crying Am..okay?please?why would you wasted your tears just because of that jerks?come on Am..I hate to see you like this”

“But it really hurts Luna..i’m being fooled all this time.i’m such a stupid ”

“Hey..don’t you ever say that again.he’s not more than an Amber.okay?I know how it hurts but it doesn’t mean you can’t get through it.damn..I really hate him now.”

“For the second time I have to get through this thing again,why I don’t realize it sooner?i’m really blind and stuuuuupid this whole time”

“I know..I know..but what can you do now?crying and sobbing like this?it won’t solve anything.God just show you who he really is.and God must be have another plan for you.just think that way okay?and stop crying please?”

“I ‘ll try..thanks for picking up the phone,it’s gonna be a long night for me”

“Yeah..sure.stop crying okay?I’ll come to your house tommorrow”

After knew what happen,I can’t really sleep that night.all I do is crying in silent.and now I know whay I didn’t feel anything when he said he felt what I felt,because that just a bull.he never mean it.I’m just his stepping stone while he’s broke up with Jessica and if that’s really what happen.To me,everything just a lie.he’s no longer that person that I know.I never knew he had this evil side.my feelings must a joke from him,and he literally stab a knife right into my heart.pulled itout again and leaving a deep cut scars.

“What did I just told you last night?” Luna just barge into my room and yelling out of the blue

“What?” I answered while I just blankly looking outside the window

She  turned my body to face her and she held my shoulder

“I know you’re crying.look at your eyes.it’s swollen”

And now I just realized it when I looking at the mirror.it does swollen I have no idea I’ve been crying for how long.but I didn’t say anything to her

“Come on Amber..how long are you going to locked up yourself like this and crying the whole night?”

I’m still didn’t say anything.

“Damn it Amber..look at me.this is not the end of the world.it’s him who’s being an .and you don’t deserve him.I know how it hurts,but you gotta let it go and started to forget him.he’s just a trash.there’s still a lot of people who cares about you.me,Krystal,Vic,Sulli.So stop being pathetic like this.get up and bring me back the old Amber now”

It took a few minutes for me to swallow everything,but then I know she’s right.I have to let it go and forget everything.and I need to try to forgive him too.he’s totally a douchebag.hope I won’t see him again this time.and I hugged Luna to show my greatful to her,and she hugged me back.

“That’s the old Amber I know.she won’t give up to the situation easily”

“Thankyou Luna.for always being there for me”

“Yeah..don’t mention it.you know actually I have something to tell you”

“Okay..what is it?”

“Actually when you guys went to beach last week,I was texting with Luhan.and he asked me if I know about your confession,I said yes.and then he told me everything that happen that day.and I just told him to tell Kris..i said,please don’t hurt Amber again,if he’serious about her then proved it.but Luhan said,Kris told him that he would make your relationship official.and look what happen now”

“He said that?hah..I guess they both are the same now”

“I know..and it make me hate Luhan too.he’s totally bad and heartless guy”

“Yeah..just a piece of useless junk”

After feeling devastated and locked in my room for about a few days.I finally rise up and back to my oldself.I’m trying to let everything go.and my mom quietly observed this.and she know that I was being broken hearted that time,and she told me the same thing.forget and let everything go,there’s still a lot of fish out there and this is not the end of everything and I don’t need to get carried away because of state.A couple months passed,I’m feeling better but that scars still won’t heal.but maybe time will heal it.I just need to look forward,no looking back

Yeaaaah..finally my work is done here.I can go back to Korea.well actually I asked to be moved,haha so I can get close to Amber and I also miss Korea too.I haven’t told her yet,since I can’t reach her these few days,maybe she’s busy.maybe I’ll contacted her when I got there.

It seems like I really feel in love with her.I’m getting close to a few women since she comeback to Korea but,I didn’t felt anything just like when I’m with her.there’s something about her that is just different.and it attracts me.and I wonder if she’s still have that short y hair.haha.oh maan,I guess she’s already driving me crazy.I packed my clothes and prepared everything.I’m going to leave this city and I’m going to stay with my old friend.a senior to be exact,since both of my parents live in L.A

“Hello..?”

“Hello...?who is this?”

“It’s me hyung.Kibum..Kim Kibum..?”

“Really?Ohh hi..Kibum how are you?it’s been a long time..and you still keep my number?”

“Yeah hyung and thankgod it hasn’t changed,haha I’m good.and you?”

“I’m good too..what is it that you called me so sudden like this?”

“Well..I’m gonna ask for help,can you picked me up at the airport tommorow?I’m going to Korea”

“Ohh sure..no problem.i’ll pick you up.i’ve got plenty of time”

“Well okay..I’ll call you when you when I’m arrived”

“Alright,just call me later”

“Okay..thank you hyung”

Alright,I’ve prepared everything and it’s time to sleep now.my flight is early in the morning.I guess..goodbye Hongkong.see you next time.and I closed my eyes.

The next morning I quickly rush to the airport since I woke up pretty late.I’m running as fast as I can and thankGod..I didn’t miss the flight.fuuuh,I went straight to the plane and sit.it’s gonna be a pretty long flight.And..finally after that boring flight I’m finally arrived at Korea.well it doesn’t change that much since the last time I remember.I went outside and make a phonecall

“Hello?”

“Hello..hyung..it’s me.I’ve arrived”

“Ohh you have?okay..wait for me.i’ll be there in 20 minutes”

And as he said before he arrived twenty minutes later.And he just made me surprised by pushing me really hard that I almost fell on my ..

“Ah..Jinki hyung.waaah..” I hugged him

“Hey..hey..it’s not Jinki.but Onew.okay?i prefer that name”

“Well..okaay.but I’m not Kibum now.people called me Key”

“Haissh..okay okay..how’s your flight ?”

“It’s long and boriiing”

“Haha.I knew you would say so.by the way,I not living in that apartment anymore.I’ve moved to a good one”

“Really?since when?”

“Six months ago..alright,let’s go”

After I put my suitcase in the trunk,we’re moving towards Onew hyung new apartment,along the road I noticed there’s a few building that changes,and there’s a new building too.well it seems like I leave this city pretty long,a year and a half.but now I’m back,I hope I made the right choice coming back to this city.and when we arrived at his apartment,I’m pretty suprised when I saw a girl opening the door for us..

“Ohh..Luna.what are you doing here babe?” Onew hyung asked while hugging the petite girl

“Nothing.I just want to visit you but you’re not here a while ago”

“Yeah..you didn’t tell me you’ll coming,I pick up my friends at the aiport.he just got here from Hongkong”

“I know..i was just passing by,but then I’m thinking about you.Hi..I’m Luna”

“Hi..I’m Key.nice to meet you”

“Nice to meet you too.aaand..i’m his girlfriend she said while pointing his finger to onew hyung.

“I know..I can tell haha”

“Hmm..really?well..thank God this apartment pretty spacious and has two rooms,so,you can use the other room.go get some rest”

“Okay Hyung.thanks..see ya Luna”

Of course I can tell their dating.i can see the way Luna looking at Onew Hyung.it’s not that kind of usual look.and so is he.it’s nice see him smiling like this.he’s one of my closest senior,and I already knew him since I was in junior high.I just starting to lay down on my bed,looking at the ceiling nd then..I’m thinking about her.Do I have to call her?text her?or made a suprise?and what would her answer will be?haah..my mind keep thinking about her.I guess phonecall is the best options for now

“Hello..?”

“Hi..Am.it’s me Key..”

“Yeah..I know..I recognize your voice.how are you?”

“Haha..I’m good.you Am?you haven’t reply my text lately”

“Yeah..I know.I’m sorry for that.”

“There is something going on ?”

“No..not really.I’m just busy these past few day”

“Ohh..I see..and by the way  Am,I’m already in Korea”

“What?since when?”

“Yesterday..I’m sorry I didn’t call you sooner”

“No..it’s okay.I should’ve remember the time when you said you’ll coming to Korea”

“Hey..are you still busy these days?”

“Sometimes..why?”

“Can we meet when you’re less busy?I only knew a few people in this city”

“Yeah..sure.I’ll call you Key”

“Alright..byee Am,,”

“Byee Kibum..”

She still calling me by my birth name sometimes.zzz but I don’t really mind it.even just hear her voice like that,it made smiling.well she’s my moodbooster I guess,haha.but that smile suddenly fade away when someone hitting my head with a book.

“Ouch..what the hell was that for Hyung?”

“You’re smiling by yourself like an idiot” he just sitting next to me on the couch

“No..I’m not.”

“Yes..you are.who is she?”

“Huh?she?what do you mean?”

“The girl that you just thinking about”

“Uh—oh..she’s the girl that I met in Hongkong  few months ago.she’s also Korean”

“How do you met her?”

“I met her at the hotel bar first,but  the next morning we met again when she deliver a document to my office”

“Whoaa...you know what?you really fell in love with her dude”

“Huh?..I’m.... what did you just say?”

“You should see you own face when you talked about her.you better go get her” He said while tapping my shoulder before he left and leaving me dumfounded.Am I totally in love like that?

Shoot!How can I forget about this?I should’ve remember that he’ll be coming this months.aaargh what should I say if he ask about that question again?I’m not ready yet after what happen between me and Kris.It leave a deep cut inside my heart,and It’s not even dry yet.I don’t want make Key as my “temporary boyfriend” in order to forget Kris.I can’t do that.Pffft..hopefully he didn’t ask that question when I met him later.and I can’t avoid him either..

“Hey,Are you ready Amber?”

“Yeah..I’m done prepared”

“Okay,wait for me.I’ll be on my way”

“Okaay..be careful Kibum ah”

And now..I’m on his car.I have no idea where are we going,because he won’t tell me.He just told me to sit comfortably..and here we are....the amusement park...what the hell?

“Amusement park?”

“Yeah..Am..why?don’t like it?”

“No..it’s not that..if we’re going to this place you don’t have to playing secret with me silly haha”

“Because you don’t seem the type of girl who likes sweet and romantic thing so I thought you won’t like it”

“Really?How do you know?But...I don’t mind.lets just have fun then” I said with smile and pulling his arm.

And yeah,it’s not that bad,even though I’m that kind of girl that he said before,actually I started to enjoy it.maybe this is what I need.we ate a lot of ice cream,riding a few extreme ride,bungee jumping,but then..there’s something that attract my attention..the viking boat

“Hey Key..let’s ride this one..”

“The viking boat?”

“Yeah..why?”

“Oh---okay..sure let’s get on it”

And we’re on the boat now..it’s pretty high actually.but doesn’t really bother me,the boat started to swing slowly..but then getting really fast.whoaaa..I scream as loud as I can.while Key,he screaming but like there’s something choking on his throat.to be honest,this ride is awesome. but when we get down,I notice there’s something wrong with Key..

“Hey..Key..are you okay?”

“Ye—yeah..I’m fine Am”

“Really?you don’t look fine to me and your lips....it’s pale”

He shut his mouth..but not so long after that,he throw up.ah it must be because of the ride.I keep his back while he throwing up,and after he finished we sittin on the bench.

“Here..drink this.it will make you feel better” I handed a drink for him

“Thanks.”

“It must be because of the ride,am I right?”

“Huh..what?”

“You heard me Kibum..”

He started scratching his head..”Umm..well yeah I think so”

“You think so?why don’t you tell me before that you scared of high and the swing like that?”

“I can’t Am..I’m a guy who has a pride too..and I do it because I’m with you”

I can’t help but smiling listening to his innocent answer.”You don’t have to do that silly..that’s cute,but look at yourself”

“I know..but I guess that can overcome my phobia”

“It’s good if it’s workout..”

And then we continue with walking around the amusement park.it’s Saturday,of course the park will be crowded with kids,couples,families like this.but then we stopped at a bridge near the pier.the breeze is so nice and also the sound of the wave.but when we’re talking something attracts my attention,I saw a bunch a people.around 5 people.two of them taking a picture together,A guy and a girl.and the rest of people taking their pictures and teasing both of them.somehow...it remain me of Kris when we’re going to the beach..

“Amber....Amber..hello,earth to Amber..” Kibum waving his face in front of me

“O—Ohh..I’m sorry..what did you say?”

“Are you day dreaming..?”

“No..I’m just looking at them”

And Key and he saw where the direction of my eyes fixed.and he he turns his head back facing me.

“People taking pictures?”

“Yeah..actually it brings an old memory for me”

“Old memory?may I know what is it?”

“I used to like this one person,we’ve been bestfriends since high school.I knew he would never like me,so  I just to forget him with hating him as much as I can.but it’s totally fail,when I saw he’s happy with another girl I started to realize that I haven’t forgot about him.so when we met again,I confess my feelings to him.”

“And..?what happen next?”

“I said that I’m not demanding anything,because I knew he would never felt the same like I did.but he said he has feelings for me too.even though he’s dating one of my bestfriend that time but he told me they broke up,his close friend said the same thing too.because of that  confessions we getting close,and one day,we spending our time together,but who knows that was the last time I saw him. He didn’t contact me for about a week .I started feeling worried,and that feelings came true when  I know he’s getting back with his girlfriend.leaving me without any explanation”

“Well..he’s totally an ..when is that happen?”

“A few months ago,not so long after I came back from Hongkong”

“I’m sorry to hear that,..I know how painful is that.that also ever happen to me once”

“It’s okay Key..it’s in the past.but it leaving a deep scars for me”

“Hey Am..do you still remember the questions that I ask to you ?”

“Yeah..I do..but---“

“You don’t have to answer that now..I understand how deeply hurt you are and maybe it’s hard for you to let someone in now .and I also don’t want to confuse you.I’m attracted to you Am..you are so different but I can’t explain how..my mind can’t stop thinking about you.I’m trying to get close with other girls,but I don’t know why,I didn’t feel anything towards them..it’s empty in here” and pointing his heart

“So..what if you give a chance to close to you,getting know yo,and prove my self to you..but if you don’t feel any special feelings towards me later.it’s okay,I’ll go..can you ?”

I’m startled..should I give him a chance to prove him self to me?what if I can’t like him later?what if i’m just going to hurt him?arrrh..but,I know he’s a nice guy,too bad I already slept with him..okay Amber..there’s no harm for letting people in..open your heart Amber..

“Alright..Kibum..”

“Huh..what?”

“Alright..I give you a chance”

“Thank you Am..I’m not going to leave another scars on your heart.” He said while he hugging me so tight.I hope you can heal the wounds on my heart Kibum. I trust you .