I was at my desk, busy typing all of the patient records into my computer. Being the head nurse had its upsides and downsides. Well, mostly downsides. 

"Krystal, do you want to come get some drinks with us after work?" Suzy asked me sweetly as she peeked her head through the doorway of my office. "Sulli and I are going."

"There's no 'after work' for me. I'm far too busy. And you two should be too! Being a good nurse should not allow you the free time to go out and get drinks! And what about your husbands? What kind of husbands are they letting their wives run around getting drinks without them!" I exclaimed and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. Suzy's husband Jongdae and Sulli's husband Zitao were two of our best doctors. They're serious guys at work, but out of work, they're the biggest idiots I have ever met.

"They asked us to get drinks. And, I didn't say what kind of drinks. Did your mind automatically go to alcohol?" Suzy asked with a hint of mischief in her eyes. "You like your coffee with a lot of cream, right?"

My eye twitched slightly. She meant coffee, not alcohol. I grabbed the nearest thing I could find, my tissue box, and I threw it her way. It hit the wall next to her head. She let out a squeal and fled my office.

I sighed and rubbed more forehead. My head hurt more than usual today, and it feels like it's been getting worse each day. I shook my head went back to typing the records.

"Knock, knock." a sing-song voice said as the door to my office was opened once again.

I grit my teeth and looked up only to come face to face with the head doctor, Yixing. The hospital staff knows him as Lay. He's very serious when he comes to his work, but out of work, he's a total goofball. I know this especially well because we've been dating for a little over three years now.

"How's my favorite nurse?" he asked as he sat down next to me.

I couldn't help but give him a smile. "Kind of tired," I replied.

He moved my bangs away and kissed my forehead, "You look like it. Suzy ran out to get some coffee."

I grimaced, "Yeah, I know. She was in here earlier."

He only chuckled. "How does your head feel," he asked me.

"I feel as if it's getting worse each day," I said with a sigh.

"Maybe you should get it checked out.." Yixing suggested.

"Yixing, please, I'm a nurse. I'd know if there was something wrong medically. It's just the stress and the new environment I'm working in." I was moved from the emergency room to the hospital wing specifically for cancer patients about a month ago. I'm pretty sure all of the chemicals are just taking a toll on me.

He looked at me unconvincingly. "Alright.. Whatever you say then," he said with a small frown on his face. Just then, his pager buzzed. He looked up at me apologetically, "Duty calls."

I gave him a quick peck on the lips, "Make me proud."

He smiled and left my office while I went back to work. I finished with the patient records and diagnoses at around two in the morning. I started at 12 noon. I could have gotten them done much sooner if I was able to concentrate properly, but thank goodness Suzy brought coffee. Also, Sulli helped me out a little bit. She also worked in the cancer wing along with her husband, Zitao. 

"We should go get freshened up," Sulli suggested as she stretched her arms and her back.

"That sounds wonderful at the moment," I said as I stood up from my desk and stretched my back.

We grabbed our duffel bags full of extra clothes and together we proceeded to the nurses' washroom. When we opened the door, we were surprised to see that Suzy was still here.

"You're still here?" Sulli asked her as she headed over to her lovker.

"Yeah, Jongdae had a lot of paperwork to catch up on, so I stayed to help him," Suzy said as she undressed.

I went over to my locker as well and started to undress. A nice, hot shower to help loosen up my muscles sounded perfect right now. I stepped into the shower and I felt myself start to relax. I started thinking about my headaches. I remember about three months ago, I started having little headaches, but they didn't last very long so I didn't think much of them. Then they started to last longer but the pain was only minor. Over time, the headaches started to last longer and they also started to hurt more. I shook my head. It was probably nothing. Nothing that a little medicine couldn't fix.

I got out of the shower and wrapped my self with a towel. Then, I headed off to the lockers.

"Took you long enough," Suzy said with a smile on her face, "What were you thinking of in there? Nothing bad I hope."

"Please, I'm not like you," I said as I threw the towel I used to dry my hair at her. She let out a squeal, and I started changing.

"Do you two want to grab something quick to eat?" Sulli asked as we slipped on our last articles of clothing.

"That sounds amazing right now," Suzy replied as she grabbed her duffel bag.

I smiled at Sulli and grabbed my bag as well. We started heading towards the doors until my head started to hurt. My vision blurred and I fell against the lockers. The pain increased ten fold. It felt as if my head was splitting into two. I held my head and fell against the lockers. Through my blurry vision, I could see Sulli and Suzy running towards me, but they were fading quickly into black.

"Krystal!"

"Yeobo, what are we going to do? We have to help her."

"There isn't really anything we can't do... You know this, Sulli..."

"That doesn't mean we can't try!"

"I promise you, we'll try everything we can. The least we can do is lengthen whatever time there's left...."

"Don't say it like that!"

"It's the truth!"

My body felt  so sluggish that I couldn't move it. My eyelids were so heavy, as if they were being weighed down by something. It took a lot of work, but I finally got them open. I was instantly met with a blinding light. It stung, but when I finally got used to it, I looked around and saw Jongdae and Sulli standing in the room arguing. Sulli gasped and ran towards me.

"You're awake!" she exclaimed with tears running down her face.

I smiled at her, "Yeah, I'm fine... But what am I doing here?"

Sulli's face immediately darkened. Chen took a chair and sat next to me looking equally grim.

"Guys... What's wrong?" I asked confused.

Jongdae sighed, "I'm afraid we have some bad news for you..."

My body tensed and my pulse quickened. I nodded for him to go on.

"There's... a tumor in your brain... Deep enough that it's started tampering with your peripheral  functioning," Jongdae explained.

"That must be why my vision got so blurry.... And the headaches... How could I have been so stupid..." I buried my head in my hands. All that time I spent telling myself not to worry, that could have been used to help save me.

"It's not too late. If we start radiation soon, we just might be able to save you," Jongdae reassured. I scoffed. We told that to patients all the time, and look at where it led them. Having false hope that they would live. As a nurse, I was used to seeing people sick, in pain, dying. I just never thought that I would be one of them.

"Might. Jongdae, you might be able to save me. Face it, you can't do anything. Radiation will kill off all cells going through mitosis inside of brain. Who knows what kind of damage that will do." I said as I clenched my fists.

"We still haven't done any other scans. We don't know how big it is or how deep it is. It could just be-"

"Could! Jongdae, I'm going to die and we all know it! You can't stop this! Even if you did, you'd just take away everything I have right now! That would be worse than dying!" I sobbed into my hands and I felt Sulli's arms wrap around me, "And what about Yixing! What about him, huh? How is a doctor  going to react when his girlfriend is dying and he can't save her!" I sobbed into Sulli's arms and Jongdae rubbed my back gently.

"Make the most out of whatever time you have left... That's the only advice I can give you right now..." Jobgdae said, trying to calm me down as I sobbed. He was right. I didn't know how much longer I had left before I died. Right now, my only goal is to make Yixing the happiest man on earth.

Sulli handed me a box of tissues and I wiped my tears.

"We'll try our best to reduce the size of the tumor," Chen said.

I nodded, "But please keep this a secret from Yixing. I don't want him to worry."

They both nodded and I went to my office. I picked up the picture frame on my desk. Inside was a picture of Yixing and me on our three year anniversary dinner. Tears ran down my face as I saw our happy faces while we cuddled up to each other. I couldn't hurt him. I just couldn't break his heart. It would be so frustrating to be a doctor with all of the tools and medicine to help others, but not be able to help the one you love.

"Krystal? Krystal, why are you crying?"

I felt strong arms wrap themselves around me and I instantly knew it was Yixing. I let myself melt into his embrace and I wrapped my arms around his chest.

"Oh nothing... Just taking a stroll down memory lane. That's all," I lied. It would be the first of many.

He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead. "Suzy said you weren't feeling well... Are you all better now?" he asked.

A wave of panic came over me. "Oh, yeah, I guess I just needed something to eat," out came my second lie. I only hoped that he couldn't see the panic in my eyes.

"Aigo... You need to take care of your body, silly. I have to get back to work. See you at lunch?"

I nodded and watched him as he walked out of my office.

Weeks came and went. Scans and diagnoses did too. Jongdae and a few trusted members of his team tried to figure out the best possible way to shrink the tumor, and they did eventually. A small part of my hair was shaved off and dotted with a pen. That would be where the radiation would it. It was small patch of hair considering other patients with brain tumors who had to lose all of their hair. The patch was easily hidden as long as I wore my hair down.

My vision was getting worse and I started to use glasses. My sense of balance was also being thrown off and I couldn't work out in the field, but that was fine. It was intern season. They would do my job out in the hospital for me while I stayed back and did the paperwork. Everything would be perfectly fine.

A week before the procedure, I found myself seated in Jongdae's office.

"We can't go on with this procedure, Krystal. The tumor has grown larger and we don't know what would happen if we shrunk it. It's taken up too much of your peripheral functioning and now it's starting to take up more of your basic motor skills. I'm sorry Krystal. We just weren't fast enough."

I smiled at him sadly, "At least you tried." I stood up and hugged Jongdae tightly. "Thank you for everything you've done for me."

He hugged me back tightly, "I'm sorry I couldn't have done more..."

I left his office and walked down the halls of the hospital. Although I was smiling on the outside, I was absolutely devastated on the inside. I told myself that I would die and that there was no hope left, but I guess being a human, hope always had a faint light inside of me, even now.

When I got to my office, Yixing was already there. He was leaning against my desk with a bouquet of roses in his hands.

"What's the occasion?" I asked as I sauntered over towards him with a smile playing across my lips.

He smiled back, "Oh nothing. Just my way of asking you to dinner tonight. I got us the night off."

"But how-"

Yixing's finger pressed against my lips and I glared at him playfully.

"It's intern season. Plus, we need at least one night to ourselves," he said with a chuckle. "Do you remember where we had our first date?" he asked.

"Of course I do," I said as I took the roses out of his hands.

"Great. Meet me there at seven o' clock sharp. Oh, and wear something nice. You can leave right now if you want. Sulli has you covered."

With that said, Yixing left my office and I placed the bouquet of flowers on my desk. I grabbed my things and headed for the door. It was a good thing that I didn't drive to work. I always took public transportation. I flagged down a taxi and headed for my house. After I paid him, I opened the front gate and slowly headed for the front door. It took me a few minutes with my shaking hands, but I eventually got the main door open as well.

I took a relaxing hot shower and picked out my clothes. I slipped myself into a black fitted dress that stopped at about mid thigh with black ruffles going from my hips down. I wore a white cropped leather jacket over my dress and I put on black tights as well as black heeled booties. Heels probably weren't the best choice, but I stashed a pair of ballet flats in my purse. I didn't put on too much make up because I knew that Yixing hated it when I used too much. I also put on the necklace he got me for our third year anniversary and the bracelet he got me for our second year anniversary.

I called ahead and arranged for a taxi to pick me up and take me to the place where Yixing and I had our first date. It was a small park with a beautiful lake and beautiful flowers to match. For our first date, we had a very simple picnic. It was nice and romantic.

I searched around for Yixing, but I couldn't find him. My contacts were irritating me, but I really didn't want to wear my glasses tonght. Two hands suddenly blocked my vision.

"Guess who," a sing song voice asked.

I stifled a giggle, "Knock it off, Yixing, I know it's you."

He removed his hands and I turned around to face him. He was wearing a white dress shirt with black slacks and black dress shoes. He was also wearing his necklace and bracelet from our anniversaries.

"You look stunning," he said as he looked at me up and down.

"You don't look half bad yourself," I said.

Yixing held out his arm and I held onto it, letting him lead me to a secluded area of the park. Underneath a large tree was a picnic blanket scattered with rose petals and a picnic basket along with small candles that glowed brightly.

"Oh Yixing.. It's beautiful," I said with tears gathering in my eyes. He wiped them away for me and led me to sit down. We ate the food that he packed and stared at the moon's reflection in the water of the lake.

"You put a lot of effort into this," I commented as I held his hand.

He smiled at me and pulled out a bottle of wine as well as two wine glasses from the picnic basket. I wasn't supposed to drink alcohol in my condition, but I really didn't care. Tonight, it was about us. Not cancer. I gave him a nod and he started to pour the wine. We clinked our glasses together and each took a sip.

"I have one more thing for you, Krystal."

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as I watched him reach into the picnic basket once again. Whatever he pulled out of the basket, he hid behind his back.

He took my hand into his and stared deep into my eyes.

"Jung Krystal, we have been dating for three years, five months, two weeks, and three days. Regardless, these past three years, five months, two week, and three days have been the best times of my entire life. You've always been my partner, Krystal. You've picked me up when I've fallen, and you helped me to become the successful doctor I am now. Without you by my side, I don't know how I'd ever live my life. You mean the world to me, Krystal. I want let the whole world know that I will love you and only you. Jung Krystal, will you marry me?"

Yixing pulled out a velvet box from behind his back and opened it to reveal a beautiful diamond ring. Tears poured out of my eyes, in both happiness and grief. I nodded and he slipped the ring onto my finger. We embraced for what it felt like hours and kissed until we couldn't breath.

"I will always love you, Krystal. In sickness and in health," he said as he hugged me tighter.

"Until death do us part," I whispered as I hugged him even tighter.

At midnight, we parted ways and a taxi took me home. Once home, my head gave off a dull ache. I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and I started writing as quickly as I could. When I finished, I grabbed my phone and texted Sulli and Suzy. They were asleep, but I didn't care.

The pain increased and I stumbled to the bathroom. I opened up the cabinet and grabbed all of the pill bottles I could find. I couldn't wait until the tumor killed me. It would kill me slowly, robbing me of my health little by little. I wouldn't give in to its cynical desires. I would not let it win. Then the pills started to disappear handful by handful

When I entered the hospital the next morning, I was happier than I could ever be, but as soon as I got to the E.R. wing, it was as if a grey cloud covered everyone there. The doctors and nurses saw me and quickly dispersed. They started murmuring to each other as I passed.

It was strange, but I didn't think much of it. All I could think about was my new fiancee. I headed towards Krystal's office. I peeked into the glass window only to see that it was empty.  That was strange, I thought she would be here by now.

"Krystal?" I called as I entered her office and opened the blinds. I looked over to see a white envelope lying down on Krystal's desk. On it said my name in handwriting, but I knew it wasn't Krystal's. I opened up the envelope and unfolded the sheet of paper inside.

Dear Yixing,
I'm sorry for keeping this from you, but I couldn't possibly break your heart. You mean everything to me and I love you with all of my heart. A few months ago, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. I didn't want you to find out. Being with you helped me forget about the pain, even just for a moment. I felt alive while I was with you.  Your love for me was like a drug. It took away the pain that radiation couldn't fix. But my love for you just wasn't enough. It wasn't strong enough to heal any of my symptoms. To be honest, it made everything worse. I didn't want you to see me dying slowly in front of you, so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I love you, Yixing, and I always will. That is why I couldn't dare to hurt you. My memory will forever be preserved in yours until the day you die. My ring will stay with me. I love you Yixing.

In sickness and in health, until death do us part,
Krystal.