Writer:  SamZ-han

Genre:  drama, romance,

Pairing:  Chen x Baekhyun

Credit:  < a tori creation > < ☁ Heaven's Door™ ☁ Graphic Shop >

 

Here he is again, in a situation where Baekhyun found his self staring in the thin air which is actually nothing. This moment that he feels like dead but breathing, where tears is about to fall from his beautiful eyes - but can’t, he can’t cry with those tears that is already dry.

There’s a white tuxedo suit laid in the big fluffy bed, sized already for him, Baekhyun never wanted to be sold to wear such beauty that is not meant for him, he never wanted to be sold just to pay a goddamn debt, most of all is to be wed - taking his happiness away from him.

Slowly, tears fell from his eyes and a whimpering sound scatters around the room.

This is Baekhyun, mourning his life out because he was stuck in a situation that he can’t escape though he really wants.

He don’t have any choice but to go with the crazy flow of his life.

 

In the wedding day, Baekhyun’s so shocked to see his father in and some close friends, and most of all, Chanyeol. He fake a smile as he walked in the aisle, he wanted to swipe away the sympathetic smile of his father though - blaming the man in the chaos that he brought.

He noticed too, how Jongdae in his 34's still managed to groom himself like in his 20's. Baekhyun is slighty impressed how young looking he’d become with a touch of fair make up.

Jongdae, have this gorgeousness and charm that sometimes leaving him agape.

Baekhyun wouldn’t deny that.

Also, Jongdae’s good to any of his servants, during those short times that Baekhyun stays in his house, he witnessed how approachable Jongdae is, especially to those who’d stay to serve him for almost 10 years.

Though, Baekhyun admits that there’s a string of attraction between them - the mere thought that because of Jongdae too, he'd have to sacrifice the love of his life.

That made him cynical around him.

 

Their first kiss, doesn’t spark, it’s just like a peek, or somewhat ghost kiss - it doesn’t even make him smile, and that expression is the complete opposite of what Jongdae is right now.

Jongdae’s smilling, and his aura is full of rainbow and positive. But as Baekhyun shows him his sad eyes, forced smile and stoic - it changed Jongdae into a frowning and sorry face.

The ceremony ended rather boring than jolly.

 

Baekhyun always casts his eyes down, afraid to see the faces, afraid how Jongdae glance at him with worry expression.

He don’t want him to worry, because... because there’s nothing between, the paper that say how their conjoin life lasts until death interfere is just a paper. And nothing else.

To be honest, they haven’t had any formal conversation since - though Jongdae tried his very best in starting the topic, it would always end in a one-sided talking.

Because Baekhyun wouldn’t dare to participate.

That night, they sleep in the same bed, but their backs facing each other, and this wasn’t Baekhyun expected his night after wedding would be.

 

Jongdae’s an owner of a marketing company that is actually a part of the lines of biggest corporation.

He should be happy of his achievements, but unfortunately not.

Jongdae’s good to everyone, easy to approach, gentle and kind, that’s why his friends teases him why he’s taking too long to find the right one.

Actually he’s waiting for it, and a part of him doubt if marrying Baekhyun is a right thing - though he knows that forcing him is not.

 

In his age, Jongdae is undeniably workaholic. Staying up late to meet some deadlines and work. And in years, he developed this kind of addiction to coffee - black coffee to be precise.

That’s the reason why it’s still 3 in the morning where he found himself dragging his body out of the room quietly - careful to not wake Baekhyun and starts a commotion.

He knew that the younger is still in the period of adapting this new setup.

Jongdae, glance at the peaceful sleeping figure in the bed. Though he didn’t get enough sleep because of the long ceremony last night, he felt peaceful and calm too even watching Baekhyun in his sleep.

Jongdae had to admit how their is one of the factors that hinders them in getting physically and romantically close, Baekhyun is just a fresh flower that is blooming in its 18, while he was a withering one. re

But nonetheless, Jongdae hoped for a good outcome of their relationship.

 

“Here’s your coffee, Sir.” An old woman says gently, careful as he placed the cup in the table, making sure that it wouldn’t reach the stock of papers but will be accessed of Jongdae with ease.

Jongdae smiles through his eyes “Thank you, Nana.”

“Aish, you must be so so tired, Jong.” the woman starts, actually she’s one of the servants that served his family in the very beginning of their success. He remembers Nana, as his babysitter and up until now. ”The ceremony is too long, and maybe your night too.” she gave him a wink and he blushes.

Feeling that he’s being summoned, out of nervousness, he got the cup and taste a little amount of it “Hmm, this coffee have enough of taste in everything, I feel like it came from the Starbucks.”

“Changing the topic are you?” she laughs gently and he joined her.

“But seriously, this coffee taste good than the past,” he says rather smiling, in the time of his life where he woke up early to meet some due papers, Nana regularly made him coffee to accompany.

“Aish.. you kid,” she says, feeling the smile that never wears off his face. Jongdae figured that she wanted to say more, or something more, and he waited for her to spill it, but didn’t.

And as Nana walks out of the room, he thought that it was his assumption that is wrong.

 

When Jongdae’s done with his work, he hastily went to the shower for a warm water cascading his body to start his usual busy day, that’s why when he went to their room, he saw nothing but a neat bed in place.

He went downstairs, at the same time trying to tie his necktie properly, but that doesn’t mean that he didn’t hear the soft laugh and attentive voices that is talking in the kitchen.

Jongdae peaked at the door and saw Baekhyun talking to Nana happily and loud. They were discussing about the foods that are usually served in the house.

“So, you don’t serve too much sweets here?” Baekhyun asks, as he watched Nana rounds the kitchen. He was sitting in one of the tools in the counter.

“Jongdae doesn't have a sweet tooth really, he’s a vegetarian.” Nana made a face that Jongdae barely saw she did “That’s his secret to stay healthy, strong and young looking.”

Baekhyun giggles and mumbles “All of us have a sweet tooth though. Maybe he also has one but is too insecure of his food choice.”

Unknowingly, Jongdae smiles, agreeing at it internally. And it’s the time too that he revealed himself to the two.

“Good morning, Nana,” Jongdae greeted. He noticed how Baekhyun’s shoulder tenses and turned stiff because of his voice - sadly, that made him disappointed. “Good morning, lovely.” he greeted though.

Baekhyun gave him a shy nod and smile.

He knew that the tension between them wasn't solved yet. There’s still that hanging question somewhere hidden in the corner of their lips.

Gentle, to ease whatever is in Baekhyun, he put a hand on his shoulder and massaged it softly. When the younger sighs, he knew he got the job right.

They remained in that calming position without any words to be spoken, until Nana, slides the lunchbox on their front which is covered nicely with colorful patterns.

A part of Baekhyun wanted to ask Jongdae what is that for, but he refrains prying too much because he’s still living the fact that this is a marriage of convenience.

He shouldn’t act like a great spouse. For him it wasn’t necessary.

“Do you think you’ll be fine here?” Jongdae whispers in his ears, before putting the lunchbox in his duffel bag.

Baekhyun eyed it warily, noting how bulky it is. He thought it’s the papers that contributed a lot of it.

“Yes.” the younger says inaudibly, looking at him for a second and away.

Jongdae thought that they’re back to square one again, where Baekhyun is going to answer these three; yes, no and I don’t know.

To be honest, the longest that Baekhyun said so far is ‘I dont know’.

Jongdae smiled, lopsided, “I’m going, take care.” And as all married couples would normally do, he kissed Baekhyun in the forehead - still afraid to risk more as both of them is just in the fitting in period.

Baekhyun closes his eyes along the kiss - unsure on what to feel.

As Jongdae smile one more time and turn his back, his wrist is stopped though with those pretty fingers who circled it.

“Any problem?” he asks, Baekhyun shakes his head and stands.

Jongdae is so confused.

The younger male bite his inner cheek, his mind is debating on what he’s doing. But as far as he knows, he has this pink color spread on his face as his hands travel to Jongdae’s neck softly and slowly.

Baekhyun’s little fingers arranged the necktie properly, focusing on his work, not gazing at Jongdae because if he’s to be questioned of his action - he doesn't know how to answer.

But as far of his concern, it is normal for married couple to do this thing - to take care of themselves.

“Bye.” Baekhyun says, stepping back and not looking in his husband’s eyes.

His mind is so blank on what is happening in his inner battle this moment, and what he could only register is when Jongdae pulled him in an embrace, circling his arms around his waist and kissed him in the lips.

He’s so abashed to admit that he kissed him back. It ends up in a make out session before Jongdae pulled back saying that he’s already late.

Nana teases him whole day about that.

 

Jongdae got home totally frustrated on how his day had been, he remembers himself going to the comfort room again and again everytime he imagined Baekhyun’s pinkish skin, thick thighs, delicate fingers, and plump lips.

Maybe because he didn’t get any last night that’s why he turn out like this. Getting an again and again but not satisfied until his is in the tight hole of the very person he’s thinking whole day.

Probably, having an might shock the younger on how fast they walk on the path, it may somehow ruin their adjustment and will bring tense ambiance.

But Jongdae has his needs.

When he reached their room, he saw how Baekhyun slept with ease and his breathing is fine. He contemplates on what to do before deciding to take a fresh night bath.

The warm water somehow calms his nerves, but everytime he closes his eyes, he imagines Baekhyun as a mess under him.

Jongdae’s in his sweatshirt and boxers as he lays down the bed. Baekhyun stirs and groans. It’s such a y sound to be honest.

Taking a deep breath, he went quietly near to his husband. His hand’s draw patterns in his soft arms, until his waist and at last he pulled Baekhyun near for a tight hug.

“Jong?” he hears Baekhyun says, Jongdae shushed him as he kissed his neck and later on, he bites it - softly and his tongue played with it.

The younger opens his eyes, now realizing what is going to happen and what is happening. He let out a moan - unintentionally putting trigger on Jongdae to bite more.

Baekhyun don’t want the tears to fall but it is now forming in the corner of his eyes.

Jongdae easily flip him and now he’s hovering. He his collarbones, and his hands traveled south.

Baekhyun let out a gasped.

Jongdae kissed his neck again, until they’re face to face and they stare at each other.

It seems that they want to speak something, discuss... and maybe stopped. But nothing comes out from their mouth only lusts in their eyes.

It doesn’t take long before they got rid of their clothes - on how did they do that, it‘s a top secret that no one knows.

Jongdae roamed Baekhyun’s perfect body, not getting enough of it, he wanted to trail every pieces of it with his kisses.

Baekhyun on the other hand felt the pleasure though a bit unease. It’s because he haven’t tried this to be honest. That’s why doing it for the first time scares him the most.

Though Baekhyun is already , Jongdae has still his boxers, which makes him more awkward because he revealed too much skin for this.

“You’re beautiful.” Jongdae’s husky voice whispers, “with clothes on, or without.”

Baekhyun blushes, yet thankful that because of the dim light of the room it wasn’t that obvious.

 

After making out, grinding, and touching everywhere - Jongdae reaches in one of the drawer and got the lube.

Baekhyun’s eyes is dizzy from pleasure, half-lidded as he watched Jongdae’s fingers been coated with the icky substance.

Jongdae spread the younger’s legs, one raising a bit to get a proper access of his .

“It’ll be fine, it’ll hurt.. but not later.” he whispers inserting one finger. Baekhyun moans and gripped the sheet, accidentally clenching his thighs.

Jongdae’s preparing him by inserting two fingers - faster than necessary.

In and out, in a repetitive manner until Baekhyun begs for it, that’s what he’s waiting for.

Jongdae bites Baekhyun’s lower lip while he inserts the third finger, putting both legs of the younger over his shoulder at the same time.

In in this moment where his is throbbing inside his boxers and Baekhyun whispers - asking for it, “F- me.. now, with your .”

Though it’s barely audible, with Jongdae’s active senses, he hears it crystal clear.

Without any second thoughts, Jongdae pulled down his boxers until he’s kicking it off out of the bed. Baekhyun’s eyes grew like saucers, he don‘t know if he can take it.

“I love you.” Jongdae says ing in slowly, Baekhyun gasps and his breathing became uneven.

Jongdae mean it though, those three words. Baekhyun didn’t react negatively so he thought it’s fine yet he didn’t know how the inner battle inside of the younger is yelling to stop.

“You’ll be fine.” after that, Jongdae pulled out and ram back in so deep that Baekhyun have to moan lewdly.

It starts in slow paced until Baekhyun went loose, forgetting about the dont’s and do’s he’d set in the first place.

He moans Jongdae’s name again and again.

Their skin slapping each other with such force - Baekhyun arching his back his back full of pleasure, and Jongdae’s a sweating mess in every that he takes.

Their night ends with two and Jongdae burying his face unto Baekhyun’s neck.

They sleep in a complete comfortable silence, under the thick sheets.

They looks so close in distance but far in their hearts.

 

The morning comes, Jongdae sits the bed with his working suit on. Waiting for Baekhyun whose grooming himself inside the bathroom.

The younger will go to school now, his excuse letter is already due, and as a good husband, he’s going to drop him in school.

They haven’t talked about what happened last night, and it seems Baekhyun don’t want to discuss.

 

He dropped him in the school gates, without any words, Jongdae volunteered to open the door for him. Baekhyun’s avoiding his gaze, smiling thinly as he arranged his scarf to cover some fresh hickeys.

Jongdae grins apologetically “Sorry.”

“It’s fine..”

But Jongdae knew that it’s not - he’s really not. And as he drive off the roads, he can see in the through the rear view mirror how Baekhyun smile widely as he was greeted by his pals.

His grip in the steering wheels tightens, because the smile is genuine.

And because Baekhyun never smile in front of him like that.

 

When the day is almost fading, Jongdae stands outside of Baekhyun’s school, leaning on his car as he spotted the latter around the circle of his friends - talking, laughing, they looked so happy.

Jongdae’s face was painted with sadness seeing that.

 

Why is it hard for Baekhyun to be his very self in front of him? Why can’t he smile like right now, why can’t he looked at him with happiness and sated?

His mind is full of those thoughts, questions, while his heart felt the longing, the loneliness, the feeling of being unloved.

He saw Baekhyun whose approximately close and is slapping the tall guy’s shoulder in every laugh. They looked like they’re comfortable around each other.

There’s a curiosity as he watched them both interact, until Jongdae texted his husband that he‘s already here, waiting for him outside.

He saw Baekhyun fetch his phone, he talked to his friends and pats the taller guy as a good bye.

Jongdae saw it all, since Baekhyun is in the open ground that is easy to spot from outside the school, also the walls aren’t that high for him to not see.

He waved at Baekhyun and the latter smiles thinly.

Jongdae hastily open the door for him and hears him say ‘thank you’.

As they drove off to school, Jongdae starts the conversation rather being indulged in this deafening silence.

“How’s school?” he glance at his husband briefly.

“Fine.” the other answers, gazing outside.

Jongdae hums, turning the car to the left “Who are they?”

Baekhyun looks at him with a frown “Friends.”

“The tall one. Who is he? It seems your close.”

Jongdae knew that his questions cannot be answered with a one word, with an anticipation to beat the record of three words long of Baekhyun, he waited.

“Chanyeol. Bestfriend.” Baekhyun’s answer disappointed him. He thought it’ll be a sentence rather than two short words.

Jongdae guesses that there’s something that those plump lips wanted to say, but he didn’t pushed Baekhyun to do that - afraid that it’ll hurt them both.

 

Here he is again, in times where he can’t sleep, 2 a.m in the morning in his office room and trying to get a little more productive, he shove his face in loyalty to his paper works.

Jongdae hears a knock, until the doors opens, Nana and her made coffee went in.

They exchange smiles, and he accepts the cup carefully.

“Having a hard time are you?” Nana asks as she watched him drink the coffee.

Purposely avoiding the question, he says instead “Your coffee is really great these days..”

Nana sighs, ”You are really an introvert kid.”

Jongdae laughs, “You know me very well.”

“I know, I know.” the old woman mumbles “Stop worrying about Baekhyun, he’s adapting pretty well in the house. And to you too.”

“If you only know, Nana.” Jongdae mutters, drinking his coffee one more time.

“You’re both introverts, y’know that?” Nana says putting her arms in her waist ”but at least Baekhyun know how to open up.. aish kids these days.”

“Nana.. you know I’m not a kid,” Jongdae says exasperatedly “Neither is Baekhyun..”

“That’s my point!” the woman rolled her eyes “You’re not a kid but acting as one..”

Before he can ask what‘s up with the gentle and sweet Nana he’d known, the door shuts immediately with a loud bang.

Jongdae shrugs while savoring his cofee.

 

It’s still 5 a.m when Jongdae decides to go down, bringing his empty cup and maybe talked to Nana about the commotion lately.

But as he’s rounding the corner to go to the kitchen, he saw Baekhyun helping Nana in cooking, it‘s still early for him to be up, Jongdae thought.

“So early for you lovely,” he says, Baekhyun stop in stirring the soup, a blush slowly spreads on his face.

“You too.” he replied biting his inner cheek.

Jongdae smiles, putting the empty cup in the counter and walks into his husband. He pulled him near and hug his small frame, “Can’t sleep, that’s why.” he whispers.

Baekhyun’s very stiff, but not too long he relaxes. “You’re working, I know.”

“Four words for the record.” Jongdae suddenly beams.

“W-what?” Baekhyun blinks.

“Nothing.”

Jongdae bids his goodbye to Nana and brought Baekhyun upstairs, making an excuse to sleep again.

But as the door of their room shuts and locked. He pinned Baekhyun to the wall, having to bite his lower lip and kissed him passionately that the younger responds too eager as him.

He knew how little Baekhyun is in this situation, being always dominated, plus their size varied too but Jongdae don’t care.

The tense shoulder of the younger male didn’t vanished yet, there‘s still that guard up around him.

Later on, their supposedly ‘getting more sleep excuse’ ended in ‘morning excuse’.

Jongdae’s ing inside Baekhyun - the younger is pressed on the wall and his koala cling is saving him from falling as his knees were bounded in Jongdae’s waist.

In every pull corresponds to a moan, Jongdae never forget to shut Baekhyun’s mouth with a sloppy kiss though.

Jongdae made an inside if his husband, Baekhyun could swear he saw the unicorns flying across the rainbow.

He felt very pleasured especially when Jongdae knelt down on his front and swallow his whole.

A surprised gasp left Baekhyun mouths, trying to clench his thigh but Jongdae keep them spreading wide, his hands is massaging this muscles to relax.

Baekhyun have to grip the walls because he feels like his legs is turning into jelly. He don’t know if he can still stand for more minutes.

Jongdae’s mouth do miracles on his , and every skin of it like a lollipop. Baekhyun moans and screams huskily, warning for his to come but he wasn’t able to finish his call when he comes.

Jongdae got it all though and continue more, his adams apple is so appealing that Baekhyun wanted to cry because of his restraints.

When Jongdae releases his with a popping sound, Baekhyun slides in the wall, breathing hard.

“It’s amazing, Baekhyun,” Jongdae whispers in his neck, but he didn’t reply as he closes his eyes.

Inside of him, the battle have exploded much more bloody. He wanted to tell Jongdae how amazing it is but his tongue won’t slip a word.

Jongdae grins forcely, he knew that Baekhyun never wanted his touch since.

 

They drove to school quietly, they didn’t talked about what happen lately as usual - they pretend that nothing happened again.

Jongdae dropped Baekhyun in the school gates, he didn’t open the car door like yesterday, so the younger did it himself.

But before Baekhyun hopped out of the car, Jongdae held his wrist and leaped slightly to kissed him properly.

He thought Baekhyun would respond but didn’t.

Jongdae hide his hurt in a smile as he let go of Baekhyun.. everything isn’t fine at all.

 

The sunset rays is casting a shadow behind Jongdae’s figure. He leaned more on his car, watching Baekhyun as he happily chat with his friends.

The tall guy, Chanyeol, put an arm around his husband - the action made him frown.

Suspicion lingers on his eyes, fortunately, two school girls passed by and Jongdae got a chance to inquire.

“Excuse me?” he says and both of them stopped, “You know anything about Byun Baekhyun?”

The two of them stares at each other face, until recognition lights up “Yes, we know him.. he’s pretty famous in school.”

“How is he related to C-chanyeol?” he managed to ask.

“They’re bestfriend right?” the other girl asks her companion for assurance “and they have a past relationship too.”

Jongdae’s ears perked “Pardon me?”

“Actually, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were bestfriend, until they go beyond the boundaries.. they break up though, like last last month? I don’t know.”

“But as you can see here, they still looked like a couple.. usually, awkward atmosphere will joined, yet obviously there’s no tension between them. They’re fine.”

There’s something that boils within Jongdae.

“We gotta go, Sir.” and the two went off, Jongdae grabbed his phone and went inside his car.

 

“Oh.” Baekhyun says cluthching his phone tight “I got that Nana, Thank you.”

“Who was that?” Chanyeol asks from behind, “it’s him?”

The brunette smiles thinly “No, it’s Nana.. one of the servants, we are actually close yeol!”

But then Chanyeol only shrugs, he knew how bitter his bestfriend is about his new life.

At the same time his ex-boyfriend.

Baekhyun’s happy that he and Chanyeol doesn’t have any scratch despite breaking up. Because it’s always his bestfriend that understand first, it is always him who solve the problems.

And Baekhyun is the Big Kid in the relationship.

“So, you’re going now.” Chanyeol exclaimed looking away.

“Yeah, I don’t want them to wait.” Baekhyun laughs to add a cheerful tone but the other male only looked away.

“You know that you can come back here right? To me.” Chanyeol mutters and he remain still. “I’ll be waiting, Baek.”

“You know what is better to do yeol, it’s not waiting.” The brunette says softly, Chanyeol shrugs and laughs,

“Yeah, Yeah, I know.” after a hug, they part, not knowing the camera shutters afar.

 

Baekhyun wonders why Jongdae didn’t pick him that day, he thought that he’s just busy, or upset with him lately.

That’s why it’s midnight and he haven‘t sleep yet, and Jongdae’s not home too - as his husband, he got worry.

But his body jerked away from bed when he hears the sound of the car outside, he checked through the window if it’s his husband, and he’s not wrong though.

He contemplates if he’s going down or not, but he did still.

Baekhyun tie his robe tight before going down, he don’t feel like wearing pajama lately so he come to compromise to sleep with a boxer and loose t-shirt that he guesses it’s Jongdae.

When he got down, he’s shocked how drank the older male is, while trying to keep his steps. He almost stumble down but Baekhyun got him first, he’s heavy and he don’t know if he can handle him until upstairs.

Thinking on what to do, he decided to put him in the sofa instead.

He looked at the drunk man with a frown.

Baekhyun sighs after a while and is about to left when someone stopped him, and it’s the calling voice of Jongdae,

“Baekhyun.”

The younger went stone in his place as Jongdae hands flails until it found him and pulled him down the sofa.

Baekhyun landed on Jongdae’s front with a ‘thump’ and round eyes. “Jongdae..”

“Hush,” Jongdae, despite being influenced by alcohol is fully awake, he knew what is happening and what he’s doing.

Something inside boils and scratch his ego from the thought that whatever he’ll do - Baekhyun will not end with him.

He open his eyes and looked at the puppy eyes of his husband, he caress his face before kissing him with such force - domination screams inside of him as he bit his lips and their tongues battled.

Actually that night he’s so rough at Baekhyun, he got him raw that even though the latter shouts in a raspy voice to stop and slow down, it fell on his deaf ears.

He’s too blind in the jealousy as he saw how easy for Baekhyun to embrace another man with a genuine expression.

Jongdae asks after he fell asleep - what’s wrong with him?

 

Baekhyun woke up in a fluffy bed though he remembers retiring in the sofa after he had with Jongdae.

He turn around, feeling sore from behind and he sighs. He knew how their relationship is not normal, it is complete different to normal.

In the first place he really felt uncomfortable with Jongdae is not only because of his age, not only because he's the reason why he broke up with Chanyeol - but the reason is because he knew Jongdae don’t love him too, and is full of lust and money to got him away from his father.

He goes to school though, with Nana driving him there - he asked where Jongdae is, but she replied that he left early.

And as they stopped on the gates, and Baekhyun moves to open the door, the soreness is still there.

He asks Nana to bring him home again.

 

The other day passed rather incredulously fast, and the unusual seems to become usual.

Like Jongdae going home late and sleeping in the guestroom, like Jongdae not dropping him in school, even fetching.

And like they're not talking to each other.

He asks Nana about it and she said that Jongdae is just busy, though he knows that it is much more. But at least, Baekhyun have Nana and her driver license to save his day.

 

It is always a habit that when Jongdae stays in his study room where he felt safe and secured is Nana to give him his black coffee.

And it is a habit of Baekhyun too that during that time he can be a good husband.

 

It’s almost two weeks that Baekhyun notices that Jongdae is really not busy and is intentionally avoiding him.

He thought too that there is something that is up the moment they have in the sofa the last time.

And he only figured it out when Jongdae brought a y girl with him one night.

Baekhyun is about to go down and confront Jongdae what’s wrong when he stopped on his tracks seeing his husband pinning the woman in the wall.

He gasps, and almost forget how to breath as he trails back his path again, locking the door and he slides down at it.

He hears how the two fumbled opening the guestroom and how they laughed inside.

Baekhyun don’t know why he’s crying but he knew that the reason of his tears is the man on the adjacent room.

 

Morning comes where Baekhyun’s eyes is bloodshot that he washes his face again and again, even putting thick amount of concealer to hide the dark circles under his eyes.

It’s holiday though, which means no class. Baekhyun doesn’t dare to go outside the room and waited for Nana to bring the food to him.

He reasons that he’s not feeling well, and Nana checked his temperature but it’s more than fine.

Baekhyun smiles and said instead “I felt sick inside my heart Nana..”

It was supposing a joke but the woman embraces him and cried on his shoulder, saying muffled words but he knew it means one thing - and that is Nana is sorry for what Jongdae did.

Night has come when Baekhyun’s reading his books laid on the bed when the door opens harshly. He was startled and his highligther fell from his grasp.

“You may go,” Jongdae starts, and he frowns.

“What?”

“You may go back to your father. Pack your things, the divorce paper will be up next week.” after that he was left dumbfounded but he remembers doing the words being told though.

And as he stand outside the house with Nana inside the car to drop him off, he saw Jongdae in the window hiding behind those thin curtains.

Baekhyun smiles thinly as he went off.

 

As what Jongdae had said, the divorce paper comes that next week, Baekhyun eye it warily and he don’t know why he put it in the trash and he cried all night because of that.

He’s confused as , he should be happy to have his freedom back but he’s not.

During those short intimate times, he already learn to loved Jongdae, crushing on him everytime he smiles genuinely on his front, inspired and happy knowing that somebody loved him more than anyone on Earth would do.

Even though Jongdae have only said the magical three words once, he knew he meant it.

Baekhyun have said that words too, when his husband his asleep or when he wanted to blurt it out every time he was dropped by school but he’s shy.

Jongdae don’t know his silent efforts though, but Baekhyun have felt how Jongdae’s effort is - it is the warm hug during cold nights, the smile in every kiss, the grins behind those tease, the worried glance in the silence. It is everything.

That‘s why when it’s still 2 a.m, he found himself clutching his thin cardigan tight, blowing some air out and waits for a cab in the cold autumn night in the Seoul’s street.

He got in front of the big gates and pushed the doorbell, only to be greeted by Nana who smiles in recognition of his face.

Baekhyun hugged her then, sobbing on her shoulder, “It’s not too late, darling.”

He nods agreeing.

 

Jongdae puts his glasses down and stares at the paper on his front. He’s doing the work for more than six hours but not finishing anything.

He wanted to retire and sleep but someone is refraining him - and that is the thought of their divorce paper signed tomorrow.

He knew Baekhyun wouldn’t think of not signing it immediately.

Jongdae’s startled by three knocks, which is new because Nana used to have one.

He expected an old woman with a cup of coffee to enter not a young man, with a brownish hair with a cup of coffee really.

Jongdae’s speechless as Baekhyun smiled at him - this time not forced, nor thin but genuine. The fluttering of butterflies in his stomach multiplies.

As Baekhyun put it in the table, he looks in the floor and stares in his eyes directly - which is weird because he didn’t do that since, “Sorry.. Because I’m stupid, I let you down. I’m cold...”

“I’m very sorry if you felt unloved because of me..” and Baekhyun’s crying in his sincerity, looking down on his feet “I don’t want to divorce.. I want to try again, cu’z I love you Jong.”

Jongdae stand and embraces him, nuzzling his neck, he’s too shocked on what he heared too “Thirty five words for the record, Baek.”

He laughs, with some tears running on his cheek, Baekhyun joined him though confused “What was that for?”

Jongdae grins, “It means I miss you..” not still planning to admit how lame he is to count Baekhyun’s longest word for him.

“I love you, so much..” Jongdae says, not breaking the hug, Baekhyun giggles when he felt the kiss on his neck,

“I love you too.”

 

“So, you’re actually the one whose making the coffee?” Jongdae asks while toying Baekhyun’s hair “no wonder it tasted great.”

“Hey, Nana makes great coffee too!” Baekhyun looks up “and I told Nana to not tell you cu’zi’mshy.” he purposely said the last lines smashed.

“Yeah yeah whatever.” the older laughs, raising the blankets to cover their body.

“So, you count my longest words, huh?” Baekhyun asks.

“No.”

“Eh?” the brunette cocked a brow, “You’re lying.”

Jongdae laughs ”Sometimes I count, Okay?”

“What’s my longest words then?”

The older male pondered first, humming “I love you.”

“Hey it’s only three--”

“--But it lasts forever, which makes it longer.” Jongdae winks.

“Ew, you’re sappy.” Baekhyun makes a face.

“Look whose talking, the princess.”

And they both laughed, fingers laced under the blankets.

 

Maybe, this is what they should be if they didn’t let cowardice manipulates them, but nonetheless, they’re happy as the first snow of winter fell outside their window.