Min Ho was devastated.  His conscription papers had arrived that morning.  The news media had picked the story up.  There were many websites giving the pros and cons of having Lee Min Ho serve in South Korea’s military.  His mother was in tears because she was afraid for his safety.   He had assured her that the chances of South Korea going to war were very slim.  By noon he was tired of talking about it; too many comments and too many opinions.   He wondered if Shin Hye knew yet.  He would call her but not while he was at work or in public.  He would do it from home where he could say what he needed to say.  How would this affect their relationship?  How could he leave now when he had just connected to her again and found he had a son?  His life seemed to go from one conflict to another.

He had not contacted Ying Ye.  He needed more time to think and to figure out what to do.  Now with mandatory service looming 3 months from now – well he needed to think if this would benefit them or hurt them.

Shin Hye had the TV turned to the news channel.  She heard the entertainment announcer mention Min Ho’s name.  She heard her say that he had received his mandatory service packet and would report for duty in December.  She sat down and cried.  She knew he had to serve and he had pushed it to the last minute.  Still she had just reconnected to him and had finally admitted he was Luo Min’s father.  It seemed for every step they took forward they must take 2 backward.  She wondered if she should call him or should she wait for him to call her.  She realized it would seem as if she were too eager if she called so she would wait for his call. 

Shin Hye had a lunch date with her Eomma.  She was to meet her at the restaurant and then they would go shopping and eat out.  She didn’t want to shop but her Eomma enjoyed it so much when Shin Hye was with her.  Sighing she turned the TV off to get dressed and to dress Luo Min.

She walked into the restaurant and Eomma promptly took Luo Min from her and went around the restaurant to introduce him to the customers.  Shin Hye grinned at her Eomma’s desire to share her grandson with everyone who walked in the door.  Hearing a lot of laughter she stepped toward her Eomma and saw her chatting happily with a group of very familiar looking guys before the server shut the door.  She was talking to Hong Ki and the rest of FT Island.  Those guys loved her Eomma’s food and every chance they got they would come and eat.  Shin Hye made her way to their room and jumped through the door much to their delight.  Jong-hoon shouted, “I win.  Pay up you guys.”  He looked at Shin Hye and said, “I bet you would jump through the door to surprise us.  Ha – you can’t be a step ahead of me!”

She grinned and hugged each person.  “I miss you guys.  What is new?”

And they chit-chatted for a good 15 minutes while she watched Hong Ki try to stare Luo Min down.  Luo Min was staring with such intensity that Hong Ki told Shin Hye to make him stop.  She laughed and told him not to let a little guy like Luo Min do him in.  “Yah, Shinnie – do you know whose eyes he has?  Last time someone stared me down like that it was….”  Hong Ki looked at Shin Hye and then he looked at Luo Min.  She saw his mouth make an O.  He looked at her again and said, “the last time was huh – you.  This kid has your eyes – yes – definitely your eyes.”  She could see him looking at Luo Min with speculation.  Great she thought just great.  If Hongstar has figured it out it won’t be long till Geun Suk does.  Should she try to do damage control or just act like she didn’t have anything to hide?

Shin Hye’s Eomma had gone to deal with a kitchen issue and told Shin Hye she would see her at the back entrance in 10 minutes.  Shin Hye making an excuse told the guys she really had to run but their lunch was on her.  She had not gone more than 3 feet outside the room when Hong Ki grabbed her arm.  “Shinnie, what I said back there, huh, just ignore me OK?  Pretend I didn’t say anything.”  He looked so contrite but there was also a look she couldn’t explain.

“Hongstar, don’t get the wrong idea.  It’s a long story and I can’t keep Eomma waiting.  When can we meet so I can explain what is going on?  I don’t want you to think badly of me or have the wrong idea about me.”

Hong Ki said, “How about tomorrow evening, say 2ish?  I have some extra time then.  Not much but enough.”

She nodded and said she would pick him up at the studio.  He walked away and then came back, “Shinnie, no matter what I would never think anything bad about you, just so you know.  But you have to be careful.  I don’t know why I feel this way but just be careful.”  He ran back to the rest of the band and shut the door.

Oh my Lord what next?  I just don’t seem to have any luck lately.  She shifted Luo Min on her hip and hurried after her Eomma

The next day Shin Hye left Luo Min with her Eomma to keep her date with Hong Ki.  She parked in the FNC Entertainment back lot and was greeted by friends as she made her way toward Hong Ki’s studio.  More than one band stopped her as she walked by their studios to chat and take pictures.  It seemed she had been missed during the time she took off to have Luo Min.  She had no intentions of returning to work just yet. 

She knocked on the studio door and an assistant opened the door.  She motioned Shin Hye inside.  She could see through the glass partition that the band was wrapping up.  The guys noticed her and waved without missing a beat.  She waved and smiled.  The guys finished and Hong Ki ran out into the room grabbing Shin Hye’s hand and pulling her toward the exit.  She went along with him and could hear the other band members fussing that they wanted to go with Shin Hye too.  She laughed at the silliness of her friends.

They walked to a small café next door to FNC Entertainment.  When they entered the café, one of the wait staff saw them and hurried over to take them to a private room.  She took their orders and left.  Shin Hye and Hong Ki stared at each other.  Shin Hye broke the silence by saying, “Yes it is true.  I don’t know where to start other than to say it is a mess that is ridiculous.”

Hong Ki took her hand and rubbed it.  “My friend, this is a secret I will not talk about.  I don’t know how you managed to get into such a predicament but you were always good at intrigue.  Yah, didn’t I tell you not to do that with him?  Do you ever even think to listen to me?  I am one of your safest bestest friends and do you listen? NO.  So now tell me what you feel comfortable telling me.  Let me help if I can.  Or we can just drink our coffee and talk about my next gig or I do have my eye on a girl you know.”

Shin Hye watched Hongstar prattle on so that she would feel comfortable.  She smiled and squeezed his hand.  “Thank you for being you.  Hong – I am worried.  No I am scared beyond belief.  I don’t know what to do or what to say anymore.  It is like I have this huge object hanging over my head and it will land on me anytime.”

“Does Mr. Li know?  I mean, huh, well, does he suspect?  It is very obvious who those eyes belong to and in fact, Shinnie when that little guy is a teenager everyone will suspect including the older version.  So I see much heartbreak in the future.  Does the original know about this?  That will be a dangerous situation, dangerous.”

Shin Hye sadly smiled, “Hong – my marriage is in name only.  He knows Min Ho is the father but doesn’t care.  His story I am not at liberty to tell but Min Ho found out 2 days ago that he is the father.  I don’t know what to do.  It all started when Ling Mi called me and told me that ……”  Shin Hye told him the whole story.  She told him about their miscommunication and how she hooked up with Ying Oppa.  Her story was harsh on herself and easy on everyone else.  When she finished she asked, “So how stupid am I?”

Hong Ki sat still for a few moments and then quietly moved closer and hugged her.  “Shinnie, I don’t know what to say.  You should have – You could have – why didn’t you – none of that helps.  What is past is past.  Let’s just concentrate on the now and here.  What exactly did Min Ho say he would do?  Or do you know?  I don’t suppose you heard the conversation between him and your husband?  Ah, Shinnie, have you heard He has to go to the service in December?”

He was overwhelmed with the seriousness of the situation.  It was of the utmost importance that no one has a reason to compare Min Ho and Luo Min but he knew if he caught it so easily someone else would sooner or later.

“Shinnie, why don’t you take a vacation or maybe go back to school but do it in the states or maybe Europe?  It would get eyes off Luo Min or at least for awhile and maybe just maybe everyone will figure out their place in your drama by then?”  Hong Ki felt so helpless trying to advise his best friend.  What could anyone do when you had a lasting reminder like Luo Min?  And he knew the news media especially scandal magazines and websites.  One small hint and they would hound the story to death.  He was worried about Shin Hye.  She would never let anyone else take the fault or burden if she thought it all belonged on her shoulders.  He wished she would talk to Geun Suk about it but didn’t think that would happen either.  What could he say or do?

“Shinnie, I am no help but whenever you need my ear just call or come.  You know too that Geun Suk and Yong Hwa would gladly help?  I know you won’t want them involved but if you need any of us we will be there.”

Shin Hye felt better that Hong Ki knew the truth and didn’t condemn her.  She knew he would die before disclosing her secret.  She loved him dearly and would do the same for him.  They slipped out of the café and walked back to FNC.  She was parked in their lot and she had bought enough drinks for the staff and other artists at FNC.  She paid a couple of the café staff to deliver the drinks while she waved at Hong Ki and drove off.  Hong Ki’s facial expression reflected his inner turmoil.  He was worried about Shin Hye, very worried.

A short distance away, Min Ho was discussing his upcoming military duty.  He didn’t want to postpone it any further.  Perhaps this time apart from Shin Hye would give them some breathing room to make the right choices.  He didn’t want to be away from Luo Min but he couldn’t be around him either.  The new media would be on them in a flash if they thought there was a scandal involved.  What a headline that would be.  He did have a request for Shin Hye though.  He would call her tonight to see if she would be receptive.

Luo Min had a regular scheduled check-up later that afternoon.  She picked him up at the restaurant and drove to Seoul General.  He would see his pediatrician and then Dr. Balchea.  Dr. Balchea was writing a paper based on Lou Min’s genetic disorder.  She thought the best way to handle that was as if everything was above board and true.  No need to raise suspicions by being against the study.

Ying Oppa met her at the pediatrician’s office.  He hugged her and Luo Min because there was always an audience watching them at the hospital.  The staff always grinned when they were together.  Sometimes it was hard for Shin Hye to continue her part in this self-written script.  Sometimes she just wanted to pretend it was a dream and she would wake up soon.

Everything was excellent with Luo Min.  He was growing fast and making up for lost time.  His pediatrician was amazed at how well he was doing for a 4 week pre-mature baby.  He told them despite the genetic birth defect, the surgery and life and death scenario Luo Min had been put through, he was amazed at how well his lungs were developed at that stage.  Ying Oppa had a strained look on his face but said, “We are eternally grateful for the strong foundation our son had going for him.  Thank goodness he was able to bounce back with few side-effects.  His mother (he put his arm around Shin Hye’s shoulders at this point) and I are very happy with his progress.”

Once Luo Min was dressed and they were heading down the hall, Ying Oppa asked her to come to his office.  She shut the door behind her and sat down.  Luo Min was sleeping peacefully on her shoulder.  Ying Oppa kept a small mat to use when Luo Min visited and he laid it on the floor so Shin Hye could lay Luo Min down.  He murmured in his sleep putting his hand under his face as he slept.  Shin Hye was mesmerized by this action.  Min Ho did the exact same gesture when sleeping.  How could they do the same gestures?  Yes she was thinking of course they are father and son but the same gestures when they have spent no more than a few hours together?  How is this possible? 

Ying Oppa was asking Shin Hye is she had spoken to Min Ho.  She told him not since she left his apartment.  He asked her what she thought she should do and she told him honestly that she had no idea.  She told him she would not break her promise.  She told him she would not do anything to harm Luo Min and his future reputation.  Ying Oppa wanted to know if she wasn’t worried about her reputation?  She told him only to the extent it affected her loved one.  He sighed at her lack of self-preservation.  “Shin Hye, have you heard Min Ho will begin his military duty in December?”

She looked down at Luo Min and said she had heard.  She told him she had no opinion on it and would leave all that to Min Ho.  She really just wanted all the drama to die down.  She really just wanted to raise Luo Min to be healthy and happy.  She told Ying Oppa that she had no opinion on his talk with Min Ho.  She wasn’t ready to talk to him and would let him know when that time came.  She gathered the sleeping Luo Min up and left.  She had told Ying Oppa she was going home to rest because the past few days had been hell.

At home she began a project she had thought of last night.  When she told Ying Oppa she had no thoughts or opinions on Min Ho Oppa she lied.  She had so many thoughts swirling in her mind about him that she felt she would be swept up and set down somewhere else like Dorothy in ‘Wizard of Oz’. 

She changed and fed Luo Min when he woke up.  She put him in his crib to play with his toys while she sat at a small desk looking through digital pictures and selecting some along the way.  She spent the rest of the afternoon collecting pictures and then turned her attention to home videos.  She copied her selections onto a new USB thumbnail drive she bought earlier that day.  When she was through she slipped it into a mailing packet, addressed it and called a delivery service.  Twenty minutes later a young man buzzed the front gate and she let him in.  She met him at the door with the package.  She had called someone earlier and told them a package would be delivered to them.  She would like for them to hand deliver it to their friend.  The person she called was a little surprised but agreed.  This is an interesting development he thought.  He was now anxiously awaiting the package.

Min Ho had been home only ten minutes when he received a call from II Woo.  He told him to not leave because he was on his way there and he had something that Min Ho would not want to miss.  Min Ho groaned and told him he had no intentions of leaving.  He told him to just come in and wake him if he really felt it was necessary.

Thirty minutes later II Woo shook him awake.  He grumbled and turned over telling him to go away.  II Woo told him he really needed to accept the package.  He grumbled and mumbled but refused to get up.

II Woo knew he had to tell him where it came from if he were to get him to wake up.  “Shin Hye sent it.”

Min Ho sat up and looked at him.  He stuck his hand out for the package.  II Woo placed a small brown sealed packet in his hand.  “Well open it up would you?”

Min Ho looked from package to II Woo.  He supposed if she trusted him enough to bring it – he opened it.  He shook a small thumbnail drive out onto the bed.  II Woo walked over to the desk picked up a laptop and handed it to him.  He inserted the drive and pulled up a group of folders.  He opened the first one and it was a new born Luo Min just out of the operating room.  He was hooked up to a multitude of wires and machines in his incubator.  The pictures continued up to a picture taken 2 hours ago.  II Woo had sat down on the bed after he saw the first picture of a smiling open-eyed baby boy.  A picture of a baby boy with Min Ho’s eyes, smile and dimples.  Min Ho had opened the last of the videos and a cute little boy who looked exactly like his father was trying to sit and coo.  He had reached his arms out toward the person taking the video.  He could hear Shin Hye’s soft voice talking and singing to the baby.  He looked at Min Ho after he closed the drive.  He saw a man so in pain that he felt it too.  What the hell?  So this is what happened?  This is why he is so angry and so sad.  He could think of nothing to say or do.  He simply put his hand on Min Ho’s shoulder and stood there while his friend wept silent tears.

An hour later after Min Ho and II Woo had talked the situation through he called her.

“Shin Hye?  Thank you.  I won’t put you on the spot but thank you.”

She replied in a soft voice, “Oppa I can never say I am sorry enough.  I wish I could turn back time and re-do everything but I can’t.  What are you going to do?”

“I won’t hurt you or Luo Min.  You two are the most important people in my life.  I don’t know how but I want us back as a family.  I know it is impossible, I know but I can hope.  Shin Hye, I received my mandatory service papers.  I will begin serving December 15.  Luo Min will be 8 months old.  I am wondering if you think between now and then I might get to know him?  We won’t do anything sneaky or wrong.  I just want to get to know him before I am gone for 2 years.  I don’t like it but it is all I can ask for right now.  Will you do it?  Shin Hye if you don’t want to then I won’t ask again.”

She was silent for so long he thought she might refuse.  Then he heard her soft little voice say, “Oppa, I will agree.  I feel so bad about this already.  Can we fix some sort of schedule so that it will be easier for Luo Min?  Can you set it now or should I wait till you check your other schedule?”

Min Ho was quick to answer, “No let’s set it now.  I don’t know too much about bedtimes and all for babies so you will have to tell me when and how many times you are willing to let me see him.  I will find a way to make time when you are free.”

“How often Oppa?”

He was going to push it but he would never know if she would agree unless he asked.  “I know every day is out of the question but what about every other day?  Can you manage that or is it too much?”

Shin Hye was quiet.  It would bring her heart out in the open if she did this.  It wouldn’t matter if it was only once or every hour, her heart would be exposed.  She replied so softly he had to strain to hear. “Oppa I can manage that.  When do you want to start?  It will have to be in the afternoon or mid-morning because I can’t be gone at night.”

He knew his schedules.  He would not have a drama until after his enlistment was up.  It would be too hard to finish in the time left.  His schedule was full of commercials and photo shoots.   He could arrange his timing easily enough.  He would make sure he kept 2 hours every other day free.  He told her what he could do and she agreed.  They would begin the next day at 9 am until 11 am.  He would schedule all his shoots in the afternoon for the next 3 months for those special days.  He didn’t know how it would work out but he was only concerned with getting to know his son and spending time with Shin Hye.

The next 3 months flew.  Shin Hye managed to take Luo Min to Oppa’s apartment every other day.  From 9 until 11 on those mornings, Min Ho spent time with his son and with Shin Hye.  He learnt to bathe and feed him.  He was able to watch him take his first step at 8 months.  It was clumsy and aided by his coffee table but it was a precious moment.  He held him and sang to him.  He watched Shin Hye feed him and he learnt to do all the little things for them he should have been able to do freely in public but couldn’t.  He did not want to leave for service because he would miss so much.  He would regret the time missed with his son and Shin Hye.  Life had dealt a blow to them but they would do the best they could.  He had memories and pictures to tide him over for the next 2 years.  He would have furloughs and they would manage to meet so he could see Luo Min. 

December 14 broke clear and cold.  There were snow flurries but nothing troublesome.  Shin Hye arrived at Oppa’s apartment and parked in his private garage.  It had been fairly easy to come and go because he had made sure the entrance was private.  In fact, anyone hoping to catch something or snap photos would have to be really smart.  Oppa had a blind entrance to his garage.  It was well hidden and quite safe.  Shin Hye rang the bell and he opened the door.  He ushered her in and took Luo Min from her arms.  She had a small present for Min Ho from Luo Min.  It was a simple tag that could be added to a key chain or necklace.  It had Luo Min and Min Ho’s initials entwined forming a symbol of father and son.  He was touched and happy.  He added it to his keychain and he felt happy she had thought to do this for him.  They spent a bittersweet 2 hours.  He had no other schedule that day.  Shin Hye lingered because she really didn’t want to go.  They were chatting and talking about careers.  He had urged her to resume her career and she was considering it.  Luo Min was playing at Min Ho’s feet and pulled himself into a standing position using Min Ho’s pants leg.  It was a common action by Luo Min so they really paid it little attention.  Min Ho had glanced down at his son and smiled.  Luo Min held his arms toward Min Ho.  Min Ho laughed and reached for him.  Luo Min was reaching and as their hand connected Luo Min said, “Appa.”

Min Ho stopped in mid-touch.  He grabbed Luo Min close to his chest and hugged him. He looked at Shin Hye with a smile and teary eyes.  “Shin Hye?  You have to wait on me.  You have to.  I will get through this and it will allow us time to figure out what to do.  But Shin Hye –“

He stopped and taking 3 steps while holding Luo Min he pulled her to him and with his free hand on the back of her nape pulled her to him and kissed her softly.  She could taste the salt of his tears.  She could feel his heart beating against her.  She could feel Luo Min squirming.  She responded to his kiss.  It had been so long since she had kissed him and it would be a long time before she could see him again.  So she just responded.  There was fire and passion but they controlled it because Luo Min was surrounded by his father’s one arm while Shin Hye was held tightly to him with the other.  The kiss ended softly with a few extra pecks by Min Ho.  They stood that way for several minutes clutched against each other with their son between them.  They stared into each other’s eyes searching for answers, sending messages of love and desire.  Luo Min decided he was finished with the hugging so he started to pat Min Ho’s face but he kept saying over and over “Appa, appa, appa.” 

“Shin Hye my love, I will finish my enlistment and it will give us time to think but make no mistake about it – you are mine and I will never give you up.  Luo Min is my son and I will never give him up.  When I am free from service we will become a family.  I understand Ying Ye’s situation but I do not care anymore.  You and my son are my first priority.”

Shin Hye slowly pulled away.  Her cheeks were blushing and she yearned to touch and hold Min Ho.  She knew when he finished his civic duty he would go full force ahead to reclaim them.  She would not dwell on it at this moment because her heart was breaking that she would be deprived of these moments she had come to treasure so much for the last 3 months.  She had to say goodbye to him now. 

She rose on her tiptoes and kissed him lightly.  “I will respond to every message you send.  I will answer any call you make.  I will wait for you.  I love you with all my heart and soul.”  And she gathered Luo Min and left.

Min Ho stood watching them get into Shin Hye’s SUV.  She drove away and he felt his hands form into fists.  He would not give them up.  Li Ying Ye be damned, he would not give them up.  He turned and went inside to complete a few calls before he had to leave the next day. 

Min Ho had an important family meeting to attend at his parent’s home and he did not want to be late.  He was about to drop a bombshell on his unsuspecting family.