Chapter 14

They were driving around the city in his green A4 Audi on Christmas Eve. Snows had fallen. It was beautiful to see the city covered in white. Yuri glanced to her left side. The shopping malls at were dressed in bright colors, especially red & green. A big Christmas tree with its wonderful lights & ornaments was standing in the center with snows covered its branches. The view was amazing, full of colors. People were walking around with big shopping bags on their hands. Everyone was in a high spirit to welcome Christmas & New Year. Yuri watched a man running with shopping bags in his hand. He must have forgotten to buy Christmas presents at the last minute. She grinned slightly. She had done her Christmas shopping. She went with Tiffany last week & they got home with a numerous of big shopping bags. Oh god, she remembered something. She had to post a Christmas present for Yoongi tomorrow morning. How could she be so forgetful? Yoongi would be yelping in joy when he opened it. She bought a white, his favorite color, supima cotton v-neck sweater. Even if it was summer in Australia now but he could keep it until winter. She could imagine Yoongi would be looking good with those. She grinned again.

Yunho watched her expression secretly. Yuri kept smiling to herself several times today since they were out. What was she thinking of? He was willing to pay whatever it costs to know what makes her smile. He was dying to see her lovely smile again. He had scold himself several times for making their relationship worse than before. He tried to ask for her forgiveness but she kept her cold gestures all the time. He groaned in despair secretly. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he couldn’t concentrate on the road.

“Yul.” He called her softly, almost like a whisper.

Yuri turned her head to face him. Her eyes stared at him, asking him mindlessly.

“Do you want to stop to shop?”

Her eyes widened, “Are you crazy?! Do you want the media to catch us liked before?! She snapped at him. She gave him a fierce look then turned her head away.

Yunho’s face reddened. He closed his mouth but mumbled weakly, “Sorry.”

Without looking back at him, she groaned inwardly, ‘What had I done? Why do I always snapped at him?’ She asked herself desperately. Her heart was tormented, looking at the pain expression on his face but she didn’t have any choice but to deal with him.

They kept silent with no words spoken. Yunho drove along without saying anything. He couldn’t find a way to make their relationship better; at least they could talk as friends. This silence had made him frustrated & drove him nuts.

When they passed the Cathedral, Yuri said all of a sudden, “Stop.”

Yunho stopped the car after giving a sign. He gazed into her face searchingly but didn’t dare ask.

“I want to go to church for a while. You can stay here.” She said, while unbuckling her seatbelt.

“I’ll come with you.” He answered quickly.

Yuri was in her latest month to give birth. She couldn’t walk steady as if she was carrying a drum. Yunho quickly got out from the car before his short-tempered wife protested. He took out the ivory feminine flare trench coat from the back seat for her as he was afraid Yuri couldn’t stand the coldness. By the time he closed the car door, she had already disappeared from his sight. He walked quickly to the church, following his wife.

Yuri sat down at the second row from the back. She looked around & felt a mixed of emotion inside her heart. The church was wonderful with its great Christmas ornaments. Candlelights flickered all over the church, making it look beautiful with a feeling of peace. There was a mock up of baby jesus on the corner along with mother mary, his father joseph & the three kings from the east. A beautiful angel was flying over the cave.

She knelt down & began to make a holy cross. Before praying, she could feel that Yunho had sit beside her. They sat next each other silently without any words spoken.

Between her prayers to god, she could hear the children’s choir singing lovely Christmas songs. They were preparing for their performance for Christmas mass tonight. She smiled peacefully. The song was so beautiful.

‘O holy night, the stars are brightly shining,

It is the night of the dear savior’s birth;

Long lay the world in sin & error pining,

Till he appeared & the soul felt it’s worth.

A thrill of hope the weary soul rejoices,

for yonder breaks a new & glorious morn;

Fall on your knees, oh hear the angel voices!

O night divine, O night when christ was born!

O night divine, O holy night, O night divine.

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming

With glowing hearts by his cradle we stand

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming

Here comes the wise men from orient land

The king of kings lay thus in lowly manger

In all our trials born to be our friend.

Truly he taught us to love one another

His law is love & his gospel is peace

Chains shall he break for the slave is our brother

& in his name all oppression shall cease

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,

Let all within us praise his holy name.

(Taken from ‘O Holy Night’)’

Those lyrics made her choked. Fighting back her tears, she blinked several times but she failed. Yuri felt tears flowing down on her cheeks as she couldn’t stop it.

‘What am I doing here? I’m praying for my soul & asking for god’s forgiveness; on the contrary, I couldn’t forgive him for the rest of my life, hurting & torturing him emotionally.’ She said to herself. Jesus was born to save the world, to reconcile the sinners with his father, god the almighty, ‘My baby.’ She held onto her stomach with one hand, ‘My baby would be born to pay back its father’s sin, to reconcile me with its father. Just like jesus. Oh god, please forgive me, please forgive me.’ She prayed desperately, as her face went paled. She suddenly felt hard to breath. She wanted to stop crying but the tears wouldn't stop flowing down from her eyes. She just couldn’t stop herself from crying.

Yunho was watching her worriedly. He could see her face turning pale all of a sudden. Her sharp & pointed, on the tip, nose was red & her eyes were swollen with tears that didn’t stop flowing down her cheeks. He felt his heart twisting in pain & felt a sense of guilt weighing down on his chest badly. His heart was hurting seeing her crying. He knew he was the one who had hurtled her. His eyes were flickering with tears.

“Yul.”

Yuri turned her head slowly to face him making their eyes met. They could tell from each others eyes that they were in pain. Why was he so nice to her even when she always hurtled him? What did she do to him? Why did she always let out her anger to him? Yes, it’s true that he destroyed her life but she had ruined his life too during these nine months. She gave him a hard life, bullied him all the time.

His face pounded in a look of sorrow. Tears were blurring her eyes so that she coul