[CONTENTID1]Chapter 40[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] Soundtrack: “Youth” - Troye Sivan

[/CONTENTID2] [CONTENTID3]

“What if, what if we're hard to find

What if, what if we lost our minds

What if, we looked and fall behind and then never found”

Nam Soon wasn’t sure if that taste of alcohol was coming from his mouth or Heung Soo's, but he was certain that the smell belonged to both of them when Heung Soo closed the door of that tiny bathroom cabin.

“What are you doing?” Nam Soon whispered in a low sibil, his words tickling Heung Soo's ears after being rushed inside the cabin, despite the curious eyes that saw them entering there together, even though in Heung Soo's mind he had been completely discreet about it - and he definitely didn't notice how loud they had been during all their way to the toilet.

But that was not important right now. What mattered was both of them inside this tiny space, with the door properly locked behind them.

Those smoothie lips, God, Heung Soo just couldn't be rational in this situation. Sure, probably the alcohol was having a big influence on it. Yet, he wouldn't be arguing with Nam Soon anymore. At least not right now, he didn’t even remember they had a fight before.

Nam Soon’s hands held at Heung Soo's jacket, pulling him closer, shifting his pelvis and biting his lips in response to Heung Soo's excitement.

Heung Soo did feel when Nam Soon desperately started to pull him down. Not that hard, but just enough for Heung Soo to get the sign. And if he was just a bit less drunk, he probably would have realized that it wasn't the right place for this.

But Heung Soo didn't even give it a second thought and his knees were already at the ground. Yes, he was down inside a public bathroom and probably they didn't get there as discreetly as Heung Soo thought, but he didn't think twice as he lifted the younger’s shirt, touching his lips on his white and soft skin, kissing and feeling his scent, just a bit away from opening his pants right there.

He got lost on that skin, his hands holding tight at his pants, breathing over his skinny muscles and staring at his face, watching his closed eyes and parted, soft lips as he breathed harsh, his hands holding at Heung Soo’s hair, pulling it closer and curving his hips.

Heung Soo's lips were giving him small shivers, all his hair ruffling as his warm breath brushed against his belly button.

And slowly, Heung Soo's hands opened his zipper, making sure to touch as much as he could of that member inside those pants. Nam Soon’s hiss came low, but it made Heung Soo's heart race three times more.

The alcohol was probably making him lose his reason and the walls were not even in focus anymore. The voices were loud, but he couldn't comprehend any of it. Only Nam Soon, his smile and his lustful moan and bright eyes. Those were the only things that were making some sense for him.

However, it should probably be the tenth time someone knocked at the door of that cabin. Not really knock - it was probably someone punching it really hard and calling Nam Soon’s name.

Heung Soo really tried to ignore it at first and so did Nam Soon. Whoever was knocking at it would end up giving up, right? Heung Soo's hands slided through Nam Soon hips, touching his skin under his shirt, holding tight at his smooth skin. He pressed his lips against his belly, feeling his scent, trying to enjoy every second and ignore the knocks that didn't stop at the door. But unlike he thought, it definitely didn't stop.

“Nam Soon, open the door!” someone called, and Nam Soon was too lost in Heung Soo's touches to recognize that voice. But at this point, both of them realized that they would have to open it.

Heung Soo stood up against his will, looking deep inside Nam Soon’s eyes before unlocking the door.

“And when the lights start flashing like a photobooth

And the stars exploding

We'll be fireproof”

Yoon Jae was staring at them across the door. His eyes went to the younger one and Heung Soo as he didn’t know if he should be feeling annoyed or laugh at the situation.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asked, giving some space for Heung Soo to leave the cabin. Nam Soon rushed to close the zipper of his pants and was not even sure if he closed it properly when he left that cabin behind Heung Soo, who kept an expressionless look on his face while he headed to the sink to wash his hands.

Joon Hee came into the bathroom right after they opened the cabin door and watched silently, as both of them headed out of it.

Heung Soo dried his hands on his pants and stared at them before heading out of the bathroom, with a new idea in mind.

“Let's drink properly now,” he said, opening the door and looked back at them when he noticed that he wasn't being followed by Nam Soon’s friends. “All of us,” he added, as he left the bathroom.

“More than you already have?” Yong Jae asked in a mocking tone, as he followed him behind to the bar, with Joon Hee by his side.

Nam Soon and Heung Soo stopped in front of the bar side by side, pretending they weren't even drunk when everyone could tell by their actions that they completely were.

“Give us eight shots of tequila,” Heung Soo ordered while Joon Hee stopped at his side.

“Eight????” he exclaimed, staring at Nam Soon and Heung Soo and then at Young Jae looking for support, “I think you already had enough, don't you think?” he desperately said, but none of them said any words at that - they just waited expectantly for the drinks.

“It's two for each one,” Heung Soo explained, pushing the first two ones in front of Joon Hee, who just watched wordlessly as the barman served them.

“In one go,” Nam Soon completed, before taking his first shot, without giving Joon Hee time to give any more complaints.

“What if, what if we run away

What if, what if we left today

What if, we say goodbye to safe and sound”

It was a numb feeling in his arm that woke Heung Soo up. The sunlight, which was coming from the window was really annoying - he could see it under his eyelids and his head was hurting too much for him to open his eyes comfortably. He shook his arms, trying to get rid of that numbness, but there was something heavy probably lying over it.

“Nam Soon ah, why did you turn on the lights?” he mumbled, but was probably the only one that understood his words. He heard some noise at his side, but no one properly answered him, and the numbness on his arm was only getting more intense. He forced it up this time, and was now awake enough to understand that someone was probably laying over it.

He forced his eyes open, and got startled when he saw that Nam Soo was lying much closer than he thought. But it took him a few more seconds to realize that he had no idea where they were. Some breeze came running, probably from the open window of the living room they were sleeping at. He felt cold at his legs, and only then got aware of the fact that he had no pants on. He threw a closer look at Nam Soon and saw that he was shirtless, but at least not in his underwear like Heung Soo, that mumbled a few incoherent sounds before pushing Nam Soon away from him.

“Where are we?” Heung Soo tried asking again in a low voice, his eyes half opened as he sat up. Nam Soon didn't even have the time to stop him from doing so and a loud complaint echoed at that room.

It was just then that Heung Soo noticed the other two boys lying over some blanket on the floor. He had accidently stepped over Yoon Jae legs, who woke up, startled at the sudden impact.

“My youth, my youth is yours

Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls”

“What is this?” Heung Soo asked, staring at Nam Soon that just sat at his side, still a bit sleepy and back turned at the two boys lying over the blanket at the ground.

But Nam Soon was not curious about that. In fact he seemed more curious on why Heung Soo was half over that couch, but he soon recognized it belonged to Yoon Jae’s living room.

“Why are you in your underwear?” Nam Soon questioned, brushing his eyes with his hands as he looked down at Heung Soo, that prompted to look around in search for his clothes.

“You don't remember?” Yoon Jae seemed to be properly awake now, since he was already sitting over his blanket, making jokes, but Heung Soo didn't pay much attention and kept looking around for his clothes.

Joon Hee grumbled some unidentified words at Yoon Jae, as he covered his face with the blanket, apparently still waking up.

“You decided it was a good idea to start stripping in my living room,” Yoon Jae said casually, finally grabbing Heung Soo's attention.

Heung Soo stopped looking around instantly  and stared at Nam Soon before looking back at Yoon Jae, with a desperate expression on his face.

“It's not that,” Joon Hee mumbled under the blankets before Yoon Jae could go any further with his joke.

Heung Soo sighed in relief, throwing the cushions that were under him straight to Yoon Jae’s face.

“ off, I almost believed it,” Heung Soo cursed, lying his back again over the couch and staring at Nam Soon and Joon Hee, who finally got out of the blankets, brushing his face with his hands.

“Really, what the hell happened?” he asked, looking around, trying to understand where they were. “Is this your home?” he made sure to ask Joon Hee this time, not even looking at the other, so he won't give him the chance to fool him again.

“We had some drinking games,” Yoon Jae interrupted him, even if Heung Soo tried to ignore him. “And yes, it's our house.” he said, as Heung Soon rolled his eyes, making sure to promise himself to never drink like that again.

He knew it wouldn’t be the last time. But for now, with his head hurting like this and the last thing he remembered was them drinking tequila at the bar, he for sure fooled himself that it would really be the last time. “Have you seen my clothes?” he decided to stick to that first question, standing up in search for them.

Yoon Jae shrugged, as Heung Soo looked around. Nam Soon did look at his side but it wasn't much help at all - he hadn’t even got up from the sofa yet. But he found them quickly, thrown at the side of the couch, along with some other pieces of clothes that might belong to any of the other three guys.

“Where is the bathroom?” Heung Soo asked a bit more politely now, even though he was putting on his pants - a bit too desperate, considering he didn't want to spend any more time in his boxers in front of everyone.

Yoon Jae didn't give himself the trouble to speak - he just pointed out at a door at the right side of the room.

“'Cause we get no time for getting old

Before our bodies turn to stones

Cross your fingers, here we go

Oh, oh, oh”

It was a refreshing feeling when the cold water of the sink swapped throughout his face. Heung Soo’s head was hurting and he still felt a bit dizzy, so it was indeed a relieving feeling.

He gave some space when someone entered the bathroom, but Nam Soon didn't really come to wash his face. He had an apprehensive expression and if Heung Soo could guess, he would risk saying that he looked a bit embarrassed.

“We need to talk,” Nam Soon said in a low whisper. Heung Soo dried his face on his sleeves, and agreed, staring at the younger.

Nam Soon bit his lip, looking down at his shoes before staring up at the other again.

“I'm sorry I didn't ask before,”. He mumbled, looking down at his feet again. After all these days, for some reason it became harder to admit that he was wrong. But it had been a terrible decision on his part to act like that, so there was no excuse left for it. “I was quite stupid... But...” Nam Soon tried to look up, but something made him glue his eyes to the sink instead. “... where did you go that night?” He had to ask it because even if he acted like an idiot, Heung Soo lied to him first. And by now, he was waiting for a good excuse from Heung Soo’s part.

Heung Soo sighed, unable to hide his frustration. He really didn't want Nam Soon to know... He could be anywhere in that afternoon, but why did he have to see him arriving at that exact minute inside that cab?

So he probably didn't have any other choice now, but to tell him the whole truth. He just hoped this wouldn't make Nam Soon change. He hoped he would not get even more apprehensive when Heung Soo was too intimate for his taste in public... But honestly, he was not even sure that he himself hadn't changed.

However, as he looked inside Nam Soon’s eyes in that bathroom for those few minutes, it felt like everything about that didn't really matter.

“My youth, my youth is yours

Runaway now and forevermore

My youth, my youth is yours

A truth so loud you can't ignore”

Joon Hee was already completely awake when they went back to the living room. He was getting the empty bottles that just now Heung Soo noticed were spread all around the apartment.

“Really, what happened here...” Heung Soo complained, as he started to help him gather all the empty bottles that were thrown on the floor, around the blanket that Yoon Jae and Joon Hee slept over.

“You really don't remember?” Joon Hee asked him as he got closer with a bag in hands to throw out the bottles. Heung Soo shrugged, staring at Nam Soon that just shook his head, as he put on his coat that he had just found out under the couch.

“Any idea,” he said. Honestly, he badly remembered when he drank those tequilas with all the others. It was just a few flashbacks, like it hadn't really happened to him.

“So you don't remember anything that happened at the club?” Yoon Jae laughed at him. He did remember everything from that club, thought he couldn't be so sure if he did remember all that happened here at their apartment. He drank a lot, but it all started with those shots of tequila. It was not like Nam Soon and Heung Soo, who were already drunk at that point.

“I remember until we started drinking tequila at the bar...” Heung Soo mumbled, staring at Nam Soon and trying to remember some fragments of that night, “but after that, it’s like I just had a blackout...” he said, and Nam Soon just nodded his head in agreement.

Yoon Jae showed a sarcastic smile and sent a glance to Joon Hee before staring at Heung Soo once again, “So  you don't remember when you pulled Nam Soon away from Pierre, when he did nothing but stay there watching us drink, and said that he would never have Nam Soon's ?” Yoon Jae left a muffle sound that sounded much like a repressed laugh, which was trying to escape and soon he wasn't even repressing it anymore, since even Joon Hee was laughing at it, apparently remembering the scene. Nam Soon didn't feel like he could laugh at it, and stared at Heung Soo in censor, but not capable of a saying a word, since he didn't remember anything about it. As far as Nam Soon knew, it could even be that both of his friends were playing with them. But Heung Soo didn't think about this possibility and just stared stunned at the three of them.

“Oh God, I don't wanna know,” Heung Soo said in embarrassment as he threw the last three bottles away. He looked around, finally noticing that his cellphone was missing since he woke up.

“Has any of you seen my cellphone?” he asked, as he looked around. Nam Soon didn't pay much attention, and was back at the couch when apparently Heung Soo found it lying under his jacket over a table at the side of the couch.

And the face that seemed amused at first, turned into a worried one. He stared at something on his phone and looked up at Nam Soon.

“Nam Soon ah... I think we have to go.”

“What if, what if we start to drive
What if, what if we close our eyes
What if, speeding through red lights into paradise”

[/CONTENTID3][CONTENTID4]