[CONTENTID1]Chapter 31[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] Soundtrack: "Little Wonders" - Rob Thomas

[/CONTENTID2] [CONTENTID3]

"Our lives are made

In these small hours

These little wonders,

These twists & turns of fate"

Heung Soo couldn't wait to go home after his shift that Monday. He didn't know why he was so anxious like this. Was it because of Nam Soon? It didn't really matter, and he didn't want to think too much about it. Yet, he couldn't take the smile away from his face when he finally got home.

There were noises coming from the kitchen when he entered the apartment, and soon he found out it came from a video that Nam Soon kept replaying on his cell phone while he was making a big mess while stirring dough inside a bowl. His face was messed up with flour, and he seemed a bit annoyed. However there was a good scent coming from the stove.

"What the hell is this?" Heung Soo asked after closing the door behind him and dropping his suitcase at the central table.

"Nothing much..." Nam Soon mumbled as he dropped the dough inside a cooking bowl. "Trying to bake something..." He explained and Heung Soo smiled when the corner of his lips curled up.

"Yeah, I can see that. Need any help?" He asked as he approached the counter after taking of his suit, since he didn't want to mess it with the flour that was all around it.

"Just finished. Have to leave it cooking for forty minutes now..." Nam Soon sighed, washing his dirty hands at the sink and drying it in his jeans. "How was work?"

"Boring," he shrugged and turned around. "I'll take a bath. You ate already? Are you having bread for dinner?"

"No, it's for tomorrow," Nam Soon answered and started cleaning the mess he had made with all that flour. "And I still didn't eat."

"I think I want pizza today," Heung Soo said already inside the bedroom while he took off his clothes with the door half opened.

"I'll order it then," Nam Soon swallowed dry, avoiding to stare into the room and looking for the pizzeria number at one note Heung Soo had left at the freezer door.

He heard the shower turning on and a manly voice answered from the other line. Nam Soon had his back to the room, but he couldn't help but curse the other for leaving the door open. It was certainly not by purpose, but it was only two days since they had been living together. In just two days, was Heung Soo already becoming so slow like that? Were those two days enough for him to forget everything? Was Heung Soo finally seeing Nam Soon just like a friend again and acting all careless just like before?

Nam Soon wasn't ready for it - he didn't want it. He couldn't see Heung Soo just like a friend, and that was why he didn't want the other to forget it just like that. Even though he said just the opposite... Truthfully, he didn't want it.

In the end

We will only just remember how it feels"

He headed back to the couch as he heard Heung Soo turning off the shower. He thought about lying there today. Last night he ended up at Heung Soo's bed by mistake... But that didn't mean he would sleep there from now on, right? However, when he saw the other passing from the small frame of the door with only the towel around his waist, he wasn't really sure about it - not that he managed to see much, since the frame was really tiny and he passed quickly. But it was enough to see that he was there. Only in towels, like he didn't care. Like he had already forgotten about everything.

That's why, even though he tried his best to lie to himself that he truthfully wished to forget... He knew deep inside it wasn't really the truth. Was he even trying? Did he try to forget about Heung Soo, or until now it was just pretending? Because, if he would be true to himself... perhaps he didn't honestly want to forget about him.

"Let it slide,

Let your troubles fall behind you"

The smell of burned bread took over the kitchen when Nam Soon opened the stove. They were too entertained watching a variety show and eating pizza that he completely forgot about it. Luckily it didn't burn all of them - the second survived with only some dark brown parts.

Nam Soon sighed, putting it over the balcony. He couldn't even cook bread properly, so how could he even think about the idea of having a coffee shop? Unless he had employees doing everything for him - honestly, the idea seemed nice. If only he even had money for it.

"What is this smell? Are you trying to burn down the house?" Heung Soo asked from the couch and Nam Soon just shrugged.

"It's the bread... Sorry," Nam Soon said, throwing the burned one on the trashcan. Heung Soo approached him with a mocking smile on his face, and looked over at the estate of the surviving bread.

"Well... is this still eatable?" He laughed, touching it with his fingers. "It’s...hard..." Heung Soo mumbled, unable to control the laughs that escaped. Nam Soon pushed him from the counter, making a face.

"Yah! Are you done complaining? It's not like you'll eat it," He hissed, annoyed. "I'm taking a bath, bastard. And don't throw it away."

"Of course I'll not eat it. Will you eat this?" He shouted as the other disappeared inside the bedroom.

But Nam Soon didn’t answer. In fact, those few minutes with Heung Soo were starting to suffocate him because he just couldn’t be true to himself. He knew he had to accept the reality ahead of him, but those were not his real feelings. He didn't truly try to forget, and now that he knew about it, he should start trying for real. But would he be able to?

Because, instead of trying his best to forget, he was taking a shower and using double the shampoo as usual. He dried his hair with the hairdryer even though it was already night and brushed his teeth twice. Why? Was he afraid that Heung Soo had already forgotten about him that way? Was he trying to get his attention again? He didn't know and didn't want to think about it.

He knew he was stupid... And pitiful. Yet, sometimes, what was wrong about being stupid? To follow his heart... What was so wrong about it?

That's why, he wouldn't sleep at the couch anymore. He wouldn't make himself invisible and avoid it. Even though he said to himself over and over that this would be for the best, he had been lying to himself all this time.

He couldn't be straightforward about what he was feeling, but he also couldn't run away. So, what should he do about it, besides being this pitiful person running after Heung Soo?

"Let it go,

Let it roll right off your shoulder"

Heung Soo was already lying over his bed when Nam Soon went out of the shower. So, when he looked at him and stared into those eyes, Nam Soon knew this was something he shouldn't be doing. He knew he should have never come to this decision. But... Honestly, he was getting tired. And now, he was specially tired of avoiding it all this time.

"Are you sleeping at the couch again?" Heung Soo asked when Nam Soon came out of the bathroom, the scent of shampoo more stronger than ever and his hair unusually neat. "Are you going out?" He risked asking, not even noticing the other was already in his sleeping clothes.

Nam Soon remained quiet for some time and approached the bed.

"No. It's not comfortable there," Nam Soon shrugged, lying at Heung Soo's side, who couldn't hide the smirk after hearing his answer. "I’ll sleep here."

"I told you," he mocked, and Nam Soon tried to ignore. He tried to turn away and sleep, but his eyes wouldn't run away from the other. However, this was as far as he could go. Just sleeping at his side... It was everything he could ever do with Heung Soo.

"Let it shine

Until you feel it all around you"

This time Nam Soon hadn't even heard Heung Soo waking up, unlike the day before where he was extra noisy to get ready. It was probably because this time Heung Soo had already took his things away from the room the day before.

It was already passed ten in the morning when Nam Soon stood up still sleepy. He had planned to search around the building for a part time job - at least then he wouldn't feel completely useless and would be able to gather some money, for whatever reason he might use it later, and also share the bills with Heung Soo - he would feel bad to live there without helping with anything.

He knew something was missing when he arrived at the kitchen. Yet, it took him around five minute to realize it was the only bread that didn't burn that was not there anymore. He was sure he left it over the cabin.

He searched around the garbage if it was there - Heung Soo might as much had thrown it away, since it was a little dry, he admitted it. Yet, he would kill Heung Soo anyway if he had done it.

However, it was not at the garbage, nor in the freezer... Heung Soo wouldn't... Right? Either way, a message came in his cell phone before he could think too much about it. It was a picture from Heung Soo. He was making a mocking face as he bit something hard.... That he soon realized to be the bread Nam Soon was searching for.

"It feels like a rock. Nam Soon, you better stay away from the kitchen," the message came after the picture. Nam Soon couldn't help but laugh. However, he had to look angry. How dare he mock his cooking skills?

"Yah, I was planning to eat it!" Nam Soon answered and Heung Soo message came right away.

"Make ramen. It's better than this. You should take some baking classes, how do you plan to open a coffee shop with this?"

"I'm not opening anything," Nam Soon sent him right away, still with that stupid smile on his face, "go work, I'll be searching for a job. Bye."

"And i don't mind

If it's me you need to turn to

We'll get by,

It's the heart that really matters in the end"

The next two weeks went on so fast that Nam Soon badly felt it passing, but at the same time it felt that he was living with Heung Soo for such a long time already, that sometimes he would get himself wondering if he would be able to leave it someday.

It was already night when they arrived home from the market. Nam Soon started his part time job this week, at the convenience store across the street. He also had to work on Saturday mornings, but since it was only six hours a day during the week, he still got a lot of free time. He was relieved he found a job this soon, but the salary would probably not be that much. But just the fact that he wasn't feeling useless anymore was such a good help, that he was even considering the baking classes that Heung Soo had suggested for him to do. Just to try would cause no harm, right? Just for now... Just while he could fool himself that everyday would be like this forever. That he would never have to leave.

He knew it was not like that, but, just for now, he would enjoy living this life. That even though it was a lie, he hoped that if he could insist on it over and over... That eventually it would become the truth. Was he getting too invested in it? He knew he was... He knew that if he continued to lie, one day he would wake up from it and the reality would get him by surprise. But still... Still, he wished to continue to lie like this.

"Time falls away,

But these small hours,

These small hours still remain"

They put the market bags over the dinner table, and were unpacking them lazily, but Nam Soon knew he should have trusted his gut when he thought they had forgotten something.

"We didn't buy the drinks for tomorrow," Nam Soon said as he looked through the bags over the table just to make sure.

"How? You said you would get them when I was buying ramen," Heung Soo mumbled, looking trough the ones at the other side.

"Yes, but you started talking about your idea of buying a bigger bed and I forgot. I didn't even leave your side, bastard, don't put all the blame on me," He hissed and finished gathering all the empty bags. "Tomorrow I'll buy them."

"I told you I didn't want to do anything, why you had to invite Moo Yul and make all of this?" Heung Soo complained for what should be the tenth time this week.

"It's your birthday, why wouldn't you do it? It's not like it's a big party anyway, it's just Moo Yul," Nam Soon mumbled as he headed to the bathroom to take a quick bath.

"I'll just make some ramen today, okay?" Heung Soo told him as the other closed the door behind him without bothering to answer him.

"Let it in,

Let your clarity define you"

Heung Soo sat at the bed drying his hair with a towel, as Nam Soon was laying at his side with his notebook searching for places where he could take his baking classes.

"Why are you not going out with Moo Yul anymore? It's been some time..." Nam Soon asked, putting his notebook aside as Heung Soo hanged the towel at the closet and laid at his side.

"He's going out with Jin Ah," He sighed, and Nam Soon seemed slightly surprised about the sudden news that he had not heard about. "It would be awkward to go out with them now, right?" he shrugged. Why hadn't Heung Soo mentioned it before?

"Are you fine with it though?" Nam Soon asked, risking to stare at him, and Heung Soo briefly answered with a slight smile.

"Yes, I don't want to make it awkward for them, but I'm happy for it," he answered it honestly. "It's just that, you understand, right? I don't think it would make sense to meet Jin Ah so soon...That's why I'm not meeting Moo Yul outside work. But it's okay," he mumbled, smiling at Nam Soon at his side. "Since I have you."

Nam Soon bit his lips, his eyes focused on the other at his side and he breathed slowly. He couldn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat after hearing those words. Those innocent words, that Heung Soo probably didn’t have any idea of how they got to him.

"Ah... This is bad," Heung Soo sighed, the smile more discreet at his lips, as he slightly avoided Nam Soon's eyes and stared at the blanket. "I'm starting to get used to you living here," he whispered, turning to the side to finally look at Nam Soon. He didn't know why he was doing this... he didn't know why he was saying these words now. They just came out like that, just for this moment, he had forgotten about everything they had gone through. "...To the point where I'll really miss you when you leave."

Nam Soon blinked one time and then a second time before staring into Heung Soo's eyes again. He knew he said those words with a friendship meaning, but honestly Nam Soon couldn't even focus straight because of the butterflies that started a party at his stomach, and for those few seconds he wasn't even sure if he was properly breathing. That's why...

"Heung Soo-ya..." Nam Soon whispered really low, but the other didn't mumble any other word as he stared at him, waiting for what he was about to say. "Before I think twice about it... Close your eyes."

Heung Soo didn't know what was going through his mind right now. He didn't know why he obeyed Nam Soon's request, but he just... did. Slowly, even though he had a guess of what was about to happen, even though he was sure they would regret it the moment it happened; he closed his eyes.

He closed his eyes, and slowly waited for Nam Soon's soft lips to touch his. And, when he did... it was like heaven - to feel those lips again, those little seconds where his mind went blank, for those few seconds he didn't want to ever end.

"Don't you know

The hardest part is over"

Nam Soon's world stopped for a brief moment. Just for that short time before he got swallowed by the regret and pulled away slowly, wishing he could just stay there, but knowing that he couldn't and shouldn't. Would Heung Soo push him away? Or... was there a chance he would just tell him to stay?

However, Heung Soo did neither. He stood laying there and Nam Soon didn't have the courage to look up at him. Because he was afraid, he just wanted to go away from there. After what he just did, he couldn't stay there.

Without saying anything, he stood up from the bed with his pillow, and headed back to the living room from where he should have never left.

"All of my regret

Will wash away somehow

But i can not forget

The way i feel right now"

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