[CONTENTID1]Chapter 28[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2] Soundtrack: "Lightning In A Bottle" - Eli Lieb

[/CONTENTID2] [CONTENTID3]

"Time to let go

Let them fall like dominos"

"You've already drank enough," Joon Hee said annoyed, taking the bottle of soju away from Yoon Jae’s hands. An hour had already passed since they sat at the table close to the entrance after Nam Soon found them at the dance floor. Pierre followed them around and apparently now he had become Yoon Jae's best friend - blame the alcohol for that.

"Okay, Mommy," Yoon Jae teased causing Pierre, who had also drank too much, to laugh loudly, taking the last shot of the soju that Joon Hee just took away from Yoon Jae's hands.

"Mock as much as you want, but I'm not going to take care of you if you puke in our apartment," Joon Hee complained, but Yoon Jae seemed outraged.

"Oh, nice to know, you take care of him," he blurted, pointing to Nam Soon that kept quiet in his place, "...when he is drunk, but when it’s your boyfriend you do this?" He complained and Joon Hee just smiled, apparently now finding it a bit funny.

"Oh, that's why you stopped drinking?" Pierre asked, staring at Nam Soon at his side, who shook his head.

"Not really..." He shrugged, but didn't continue with the subject. He didn't want to talk about it but apparently Yoon Jae did - or perhaps he was too drunk to think rationally about it.

"Because alcohol can't cure his lovesickness," he mocked and Nam Soon rolled his eyes as Joon Hee stared at him accusingly for talking too much.

"Lovesickness?" Pierre repeated, "Is that why I'm being rejected today?"

"You better give up," Yoon Jae made gestures with his hands, ignoring the pushes Joon Hee kept giving at his arms, trying to make him stop talking. "This one is a lost cause."

"I think we should go," Nam Soon said, standing up without waiting for them to answer. He really didn't want to bring this subject up today, especially not with someone he barely knew.

Joon Hee stood up after him, making both follow along. But they indeed seemed to have drank too much, since Yoon Jae stumbled on his feet and had to get hold of the table to not fall. Joon Hee sighed in front of him and put his arms around his shoulder to help him to walk.

Nam Soon really didn't want to do this, but apparently it would be too uneducated not to be the one to help Pierre now.

Getting away from the club was a tough job but after walking a bit more Pierre seemed to be getting more balance.

"You know, you could give me a chance to cure your problem," he smiled ignoring the fact that Nam Soon was rolling his eyes - however he also smiled, so he seemed to be getting along with it.

"And how would you do that?" Nam Soon mumbled, waiting as Joon Hee came behind them - apparently Yoon Jae was a bit drunker than Pierre, since Joon Hee seemed to be having much more trouble carrying him.

Nam Soon looked at his front again, but closed his eyes instinctively as Pierre pecked a kiss on his lips. It was quick, but enough to make him blush terribly - after all, they were not inside the club anymore.

He heard Yoon Jae laughing behind them and Joon Hee screaming at him that he would leave him there if he continued.

"Nam Soon, are you okay there? I think I need to get him home right now..." Joon Hee said worried and Nam Soon just nodded. He had his car, so it was fine. "And about him?" Joon Hee asked, pointing to Pierre and Nam Soon looked back at the blond at his side.

"I'm okay, I live two blocks from here."

So, maybe that was the reason he was always at this club, Nam Soon thought, but refrained from mentioning it. "I'll drop him off at home and leave," Nam Soon nodded. He couldn't let him go alone like that, but since it was close it would be fine to help.

Pierre didn't complain and soon they arrived at his apartment building.

"Are you okay?" Nam Soon asked, watching him open the gate. He looked a bit dizzy but managed to unlock it safely.

"No," he said, letting a smirk show up in his face. "I'll be better if you go up with me," he suggested and Nam Soon couldn't control the embarrassed smile.

"I'm sure you can go up by yourself," he said, getting some laughs from the other guy.

"I think I just got rejected again," he said shyly. "It's okay. Can I at least have your number?" He risked. Nam Soon opened his mouth to answer him, but gave up right away. "Okay, I won't ask again because that would make it a fourth time I got rejected today," he smiled and passed through the gate. Nam Soon waited for him to get inside, but he looked back at him again before entering the building.

"But if I meet you again... Will you give me your number then?" He suggested and Nam Soon bit his lips. He didn't know why he was rejecting the other so much, but...

"We'll see about it," he said, and watched as Pierre entered the building after smiling at him.

He should try to find someone new. Nam Soon really knew he should. After that conversation with Heung Soo, he knew it was over, right? He knew he had no hopes... But then why... Why did it feel like he was waiting for Heung Soo? Why couldn't he let go?

"You're the brightest light I've ever seen

You're lightning in a bottle

Lightning in a bottle"

Heung Soo rolled over on the couch, flipping through the channels of the television. He couldn't sleep, so he decided to spend the night watching movies but there was nothing good to watch. Nothing that would make him the least excited to watch it. He couldn't concentrate on anything.

He thought he would feel better if he made sure he indeed felt desire for girls. He thought it would make him relieved if he could sleep with a girl after all - but it didn't, not even a tiny bit.

What difference does it make if he could sleep with them? What would change if he felt attracted to them? That wouldn't change anything. Because his problem was never if he was attracted to them in the first place - he knew he was. But... That didn't change the fact that he was also attracted to Nam Soon. That he couldn't take Nam Soon out of his head.

However, if he couldn't stop thinking about him and was also not brave enough to face it... What did he have left then?

He sighed, laying over his couch and closed his eyes.

He was lost, alone, and desperate. With whom should he talk about it?

Man or not, it didn't matter. Because he missed Nam Soon. And as it seemed, the more he tried to get away from the other, the more those feelings would take over him. The more he tried to run away... the more he was hurting Nam Soon... And himself.

"A storm inside

You lock the door

Tell yourself you lost the fight

Just a social suicide"

It was almost four in the morning when Nam Soon finally arrived home. He sighed with relief after laying over his bed. He was tired - tired of this day, tired of everything. He would really appreciate a good night sleep right now.

But it would also be hard to fall asleep, especially with his mind so lost in all those thoughts. And now that he was alone in his room, those thoughts would haunt him more than ever.

Thoughts about what would be of him and Heung Soo... Thoughts about Heung Soo - about him and the girl he saw this morning.

He rolled in bed, letting a scream leave his lips, muffled by his pillow. He wanted those thoughts to go away, he wanted to move on... But then... He wanted Heung Soo back. He wished none of this had ever happened.

When he thought he had finally accepted himself, old thoughts would start coming back - of how he wished to be normal. If he liked girls, if he had never started loving Heung Soo... Then nothing like this would be happening right now.

If he could ask for just one thing... For only one miracle... It would be to never have fallen in love with his best friend.

"You want to cut

You want to cry

Running from reality

Drinking until you close your eyes"

It was a grey and rainy morning when Nam Soon arrived at work that Monday. The coffee shop was still closed but the lights were already on when he arrived. He didn't see his coworkers so he headed to the bathroom to put on his work uniform.

They were probably in the kitchen because he heard some whispers coming from there when he closed the door of the bathroom behind him. He wasn't used to listening to the other's conversations behind the door, but this time, he heard his name.

Because he heard his name it was impossible not to listen to what they were talking about.

"You saw him where???" He heard one of them whisper and he could recognize the voice of the new employee who was hired last month. Not that he really cared. He never talked much with his coworkers anyway.

"Itaewon. I was driving home and had to pass through there. The fact is that I saw him kissing a guy."

Nam Soon finished to putting on his apron and stared at the mirror without moving, his heart suddenly got cold and he felt an uncomfortable shiver run down his back.

He wasn't expecting that. He never expected that and it was something that, if possible, he would have kept a secret forever. How could this have never crossed his mind, that one of them could have seen him? What were the probabilities?

"Cause just above

The thundercloud

Can't you see the sky is clear

Leave those shadows on the ground"

"What do we do now?" The other guy asked with a disgusted tone. "Should we tell our manager?"

"I think so? I really don't want him looking at me. Besides what if our customers find out and start to talk badly about the shop? I don't want to be associated with that."

Nam Soon breathed profoundly and closed his eyes, trying not to hear it anymore. His hands were shaking angrily and he had to control his urge not to respond to that.

It was hard, but he couldn't do anything. Even though the anger and embarrassment was consuming him... Even though, he couldn't do anything, he had to remain quiet.

And just then he realized... Ever since he accepted it, ever since he started living this reality... This was the first time - the first time he had to deal with the prejudice. And, in the end... It was worse than what he had imagined.

It felt much, much worse than what he thought. To be talked about so badly like that, to be misinterpreted and seen like a disgusting person - it felt horrible.

And right now, the one thing he wanted to do was call Heung Soo. Look for his comfort. But that was the one thing he could never do.

"Words they can hurt

They can drag you through the dirt"

Heung Soo turned off his computer, sighing loudly after the end of his shift. He almost didn't sleep at all this past weekend and was dead tired. He couldn't calm his mind, but now that he had to work all day, it ended up being completely difficult. He couldn't concentrate because of his mind that wouldn't stop thinking about Nam Soon, and now he was so tired that he almost fell asleep over his computer a few times.

He finished putting his stuff back in his suitcase and was ready to stand up and leave when he heard Moo Yul talking from his desk.

"Good night," he said, giving a brief look at Heung Soo before going away. Heung Soo didn't answer because he was totally surprised. It had been almost a week that the other wouldn't talk to him and he really thought that it would go on for a much longer time. Perhaps something good had happened? At least he could hope that someone would get something good from all of this and even though he and Jin Ah weren't dating anymore, he really wished that she would find happiness with someone else.

He took the elevator down to the first floor, walking slowly out of the building. He was afraid to face Nam Soon right now, but he was too tired to stay later. And this was exactly the time the other used to leave... And exactly like he thought, he could see Nam Soon walking in the distance in front of him, probably heading home. He looked sad and that sent a bullet to his own heart. He didn't want him to feel sad and he wanted to do something to make him feel better... But what? All he could do now was stay away.

Because he was too afraid and didn't know what to say to him... So he stayed inside until the other was out of view. But he could still see Nam Soon’s slim body walking down the already darkened street that was being illuminated by the street lights. He could see him and all he wished to do right now was hug him. He wanted to talk to him, but he didn’t know what to say. He wanted to be with him, but he couldn’t - because there was nowhere to go from there, because the result of this could only end badly... Because he was afraid.

And so that’s why he had to hide. He couldn’t face Nam Soon, so he had to wait for him to leave first.

"You blind me, yeah you blind me

You're the brightest light I've ever seen

You're lightning in a bottle"

What should he do? Should he resign at his own will or keep waiting for what he knew was about to come? It was already close to the end of the week and things didn't get better. In fact if it was possible to get even worse, it did.

How could he stand staying there with his coworkers clearly keeping their distance from him on purpose, sending him disgusted looks every time they passed by him? He really tried to ignore it, he did. But once you already know the reason for it, how is that even possible?

He didn't know if he was waiting for his manager to take an initiative - in his favor, which he doubted, or his colleagues; or waiting to reach his limit and never come back? But the second ended up being impossible if he considered that he had rent to pay and lot of other bills. He would leave if he could, but he just couldn't.

So, his only choice was to withstand it until the end of his shift. He would go home, think about Heung Soo, and go through all of it again the next day.

He really, really needed to see Heung Soo right now. He wanted to talk to him, seek for any kind of comfort... But now he couldn't. Besides, Heung Soo was probably avoiding him right now. Even though they worked close to each other, he hadn't seen him since that Saturday morning. He didn't see those eyes, that smile... He really missed him. He missed Heung Soo more than anything.

He was the last to leave work on that Thursday. It was raining heavily and he stayed hoping it would pass... but it didn't and he forgot his umbrella. He sighed, closing the door behind him and putting on his coat. He would have to run to the subway station and hope he wouldn't get totally soaked. However, right now he didn't feel like running. It was just water anyway...

"Smash the glass and set yourself free

Lightning in a bottle

Lightning in a bottle"

"Oh, ..." Heung Soo cursed when he left work, carrying his umbrella because it was raining hard outside. It had been a sunny morning, but the end of the day went on like this.

He rushed to his car, intending to head home quickly. That is, if he hadn't seen Nam Soon walking on the streets all wet like he didn't care a bit about the rain. Why did he have to be so careless? Heung Soo sighed, closing the door of his car again. How could he leave now? In that moment, he forgot all that had been troubling him about them and followed the other man.

What would happen next he didn't know... But right now he would just forget everything that had happened and be the friend he missed to be. He didn't understand how it all came to this. He was running away from this to happen yet he was losing him either way.

Without saying a word, he covered Nam Soon from behind him with his umbrella and the boy instantly noticed his presence. He didn't need to see nor listen. When it was Heung Soo... He just knew it.

He turned around, facing those eyes staring intensely at him. And just then, Nam Soon felt like he was about to cry. He missed him so much. He needed him so much right now. But he couldn't let it show.

"What are you doing?" Heung Soo asked him with pitiful eyes, before sighing lightly. "Come, I'll take you home," he said. Nam Soon didn't answer though and only followed the other to his car, getting inside it without saying a word.

"Here," Heung Soo whispered, giving him a blue towel he just got from the back seat. "Dry yourself before you soak my car."

Nam Soon didn't answer and used it to dry what he could of his face and hair. It didn't help much since the towel looked a little bit - a lot, actually - dirty.

"Where did you use this?" Nam Soon asked unable to hide the disgusted expression as a reaction to the bad smell of it.

"Gym," Heung Soo shrugged and Nam Soon couldn’t control his perplexed face. He smelled the towel again, making a disgusted look on his face.

"You used this to dry your sweat???" He exclaimed and Heung Soo couldn't control his laugh.

"Maybe," he shrugged one more time, still smiling.

"Yah!" Nam Soon shouted, using it to hit the other man that avoided it and almost lost control of the wheel.

"Are you trying to kill us???" Heung Soo cursed between laughs, that Nam Soon had to return.

The first smile he probably gave since the week started. Because just some minutes with Heung Soo... Some minutes without thinking about what's been happening to them - just that was enough. If only he could forget, if only he could get over those feelings... everything would become better then, wouldn't it?

Nam Soon looked trough the window, staring at the raindrops that were falling on the pavement when silence suddenly took place inside the car.

Heung Soo drove to the other's apartment without saying another word. He wanted to ask how Nam Soon was doing, why he was walking under the rain like that... but suddenly all the memories and hesitation were back like they had never left.

So, when he arrived at Nam Soon's place, he didn't have the courage to ask the other to have dinner with him. He didn't even have the courage to invite him to watch a movie that premiered this week - one they had agreed to watch together weeks ago.

But Nam Soon's expression turned out so sad that he was afraid anything he said would make him cry... he was afraid he was the one responsible for those sad eyes. And without saying anything else other than a low goodbye, Nam Soon left his car.

"In the eye of a storm no one can see

And the world keeps spinning away from me

I’m standing here till you believe

Your striking striking striking striking"

It was still raining on that Friday morning. Nam Soon drove to work, since he didn't want to risk getting all soaked again.

The first minute inside was enough for him to want to leave. The feeling of being unwanted, of rejection... He was barely able to stand it. And to go through it alone was even worse.

His manager didn't take his eyes off of him throughout the whole day and by the expression on his face, Nam Soon was pretty sure he had already heard what the others had to say. By the look of it, he most probably agreed with them.

That's why, when his manager called him after the end of his shift, when everyone had already left... Nam Soon was certain nothing good would come out of it.

"You should have noticed that the movement is quite low lately, right?" His manager started. Searching for a reason.

Not really, Nam Soon thought, but remained silent.

"The high season is over... So I don't need this many workers right now."

That's why you hired someone last month? He still didn't talk. He just wanted to leave. Why did he have to go through all of this? Why would his ual orientation matter in this?

"Thanks for your hard work here. It's just that I have to dismiss someone and since you already asked for reassignment once... Don't worry, you'll receive all your proper payments."

For some reason, because was attracted to man... Because he loved a man, he wasn't allowed to work there.

Apparently, his ual orientation did matter.

"I know you feel impossible

Standing in an open field

Waiting for the rain to fall"

[/CONTENTID3][CONTENTID4]