The anger that ran through his body was like liquid steel being poured on it with a straw, inserted deep within his heart, allowing entrance to his veins. Jiyong looked at Seunghyun, his eyes narrowed, his hands balled into fist and his legs trembling. He took a deep breath, and just then, he felt a stinging pain on his side, one he had not felt through the entire day. He instinctively looked down and pulled his shirt up, only to find a bloody gauze surrounding his abdomen. He raised an eyebrow and looked at Seunghyun, who widened his eyes at him.

“You need to get that checked.” Seunghyun said, to which Jiyong shrugged.

“I don’t have my Combivent, it doesn’t make any difference.” Jiyong said and Seunghyun chuckled.

“I do have it.” He said while standing up. “I’ll be calling Bommie, so she can check that out, it must have re-opened by your ruthlessness.”

“I didn’t know I had it…” Jiyong said, still looking at his side. Seunghyun chuckled and walked into the hall. Jiyong felt the weight of loneliness, the sound of silence surrounding him as he heard on his head again and again Seunghyun’s words.

“Because if I’m correct, your dear Chaerin’s the new hired killer, and if I’m more accurate, she’s after you.”

Jiyong shook his head abruptly and threw himself back, hitting his head with the wood of the sofa. It hurt him, but the pain he was feeling inside, the burden, the anger and the agony was even greater than a slight pain on his head, he could deal with that later. The air on his lungs felt like coming to an end, but it wasn’t due to his condition, it was something else, something he couldn’t point a finger on it. His throat chocked every time he tried to take a deep breath, weird noises where coming from it. He straightened himself after feeling lightheaded, and as he did, he felt something falling from his cheek. Jiyong put a hand on his cheek and looked at it, tears, as clear as the ocean, but as many as the pain he was feeling.

It was only then he realized he was crying, crying as he had never cried. He cried because he felt pain, pain because of her absence, anger because she left without letting him know, without any notice. He felt betrayed, he hadn’t even had the proper time to mourn the man he knew as a father for so long, after his biological father died, or was killed, or disappeared, since after TOP’s incident, he wasn’t sure anymore who really was dead at all. He felt fear, not of dying, not of being followed, he felt fear because there was something else he didn’t know. If, as Seunghyun said, Woochoong was alive, everything could change, and all he thought was right was in fact, wrong.

“Jiyong?” A woman said next to him. He quickly cleaned his eyes and looked to the side, only to find Bom with a tray filled with gauzes, antiseptics, a few bandages and a needled. He took a deep breath, controlling his urges to keep weeping like a baby whose mother has been taken away.  She sat next to him, and he, without any words, afraid that his voice could break, lifted his shirt and pulled it over his head, taking it off. She looked at him, and for a moment, Jiyong could see a flash of bright pass by her eyes like a light running around. She quickly shook her head and gulped, and all that, Jiyong could easily see as if he was reading a book. He had always had that special ability, he could read people like he read the pages of a book, like he read the notes of a music sheet. That’s why he could never settle, not with any woman at least, until she came around and turned his world upside down. Then she left him, alone, without a word or a trace.

Jiyong shook his head furiously as a surge of anger ran through him, and the sweet flavor of hatred ran through his throat, down to his heart. As to when Bom started to sew him up again, he wasn’t sure, he couldn’t feel any carnal pain, he couldn’t feel anything, just the anger that was running through him like a galloping horse set free on the wilderness. She looked at him, and he, with his eyes narrowed, his eyebrows furrowed, looked at her. They were close, so close he could inhale her essence, he could smell all of her, but her face had distorted in front of his eyes, and all he could see was her face plastered on this stranger’s contour.

“Odio imparato che nessuno può essere amato senza cuore maligno.” He murmured, and she raised an eyebrow in confusion at him.

“You speak Italian?” She asked, but he didn’t answer, just looked at his side, where her hands had carefully bandaged his wound.

“Did you finish?” He asked her and she nodded, her bangs falling on her face as she did. Jiyong nodded and stood up, grabbed his shirt and put it over his shoulder and walked towards the hallway.

“Um, Jiyong?” She said, and he looked at her over his shoulder.

“What?” He said and she lifted the syringe on her tray. He scoffed and walked back, took the syringe and then walked towards his room.

In there, he stood in front of the mirrored wall, looking at himself, shirtless, a bandage around his abdomen, his jeans dirty and his boots unlaced. He couldn’t even properly look at his hair, all messed up, the roots already black and he could almost see the tangled points. He was a mess, his hollow eyes dark, his lips pale. He was tired, but more than tired, he was angry, he was mad at his inability to make things right, to have everything he could ever want around him. He was useless, a piece of meat walking around, depending on others to live, depending on others to save his life. A life, he thought with dismay, that was supposed to have ended up a long time ago.

He inserted the needle on his left arm and injected the liquid he was so used to feel running through his veins, a drug he so desperately needed. It was hilarious, being so weak all of a sudden, when he could spend days hidden, just watching the movements of his enemies, of his target, now he was being forced to retirement, with only 25 years, he was old enough to be cast out of all he ever knew. With only 25 years, he had had two death sentences, by the same person, almost at the same time. How could he love the one person who is supposed to kill him? Destiny was surely playing hard on him, falling in love, being in love for the first time, having that eternal desire of wanting to protect her with all his might, with all his power, yet being him the one who needed protection from that person he wanted to protect. But maybe, just maybe, his death could mean the salvation of her. If something he did know was that every target they’re assigned, they have to finish it, otherwise it would be their lives the one’s at risk. Maybe he could finish that once and for all, finish the sorrow, the uselessness, the pain, the break, the emptiness, after all, if he was to be cast out alone, better die before he goes.

“Jiyong?” A voice called him, and he abruptly turned around, the needle falling from his arm as he did, lifting the skin on it. He winced as he saw the puncture bleeding, and then looked at the person at the door, it was Seunghyun, who was walking towards him, gauze in hand. Seunghyun handed him the gauze and Jiyong pressed it to his arm, glaring at him.

“What do you want?” Jiyong hissed, almost surprised at the harshness of his voice. Seunghyun, however, didn’t seem affected by it, and just shrugged.

“What do you want to do?” Seunghyun asked, and Jiyong scoffed, throwing the gauze on a wastebasket next to him.

“What do I want? I want this to end, I want this,” He said and pointed at his arm, “To end. I’m useless; I’m not as fast, not as stronger as I used to be, what use could I be for you, for the company? I’m expired, defective; even she knew as much and left.”

Seunghyun took a deep breath and looked at him, since Jiyong was a few inches shorter; he had his head slightly bent down. “Jiyong, stop.” Seunghyun said, but Jiyong seemed unaware of his words.

“What use… can I be if even she wants me dead?” Jiyong spoke again, his voice losing the strength it had.

“I was just assuming, it just too much of a coincidence.”

“I’m certain you’re 95% right Seung,” Jiyong told him, now his voice had broken into a silent sob, and Seunghyun put a hand on his shoulder.

“Be the man you used to be! Be the leader we loved, be the leader we followed!” Seunghyun almost yelled at him, but Jiyong only lowered his head, shaking it no.

“I’m no longer your leader, I’ve broken the law, I’ve hurt our boss. I’m out dude, I’m out.” Jiyong said, and Seunghyun grabbed both his shoulder, shaking him furiously. Jiyong straightened his head, and just then, Seunghyun slapped him, hard, making him lose balance. Jiyong held himself with the mirrors, and looked to the front, watching his reflection.

“We all broke the law Jiyong. I did when I faked my death, Seungri did when he killed Hyunsuk, Youngbae did the moment he chose to kill all those New Elite, and Daesung did when he allowed the entrance to the armory. We’ve all broken the law, but why? We all did it for a greater cause! They’re all corrupted; they’re all using us for their own benefit, not for the company, not for the world or the nations, but for their own greed. Can’t you see?” Seunghyun said, but Jiyong only looked at himself on the mirror. Images of the moment he shoot Hyunsuk flashed on his head, then the night everything changed for him.

It was as if all his memories where hidden under a black curtain, and now, the wind slowly moved them, allowing him to see. He could remember his father, the night he was taken away, he was only twelve years old. He could see his clothes full of blood, maybe his blood, maybe someone else’s. He remembered how he put the golden necklace around his neck, with shaky bloody hands he put it, then kissed the top of his head and left. He remembered he cried, the first and last time he had ever cried like that. Two days he spent crying because his father had left him, but he couldn’t remember how he had ended up alone at his house, both his mother and sister disappeared, and his memories could only recall Hyunsuk picking him up and taking him away from his house. After that, he had sworn to himself he would never cry again.

“Seunghyun…” Jiyong murmured, and Seunghyun stopped blabbering whatever he was saying and looked at him through the reflection. Jiyong had his hands and forehead on the mirror, and he was looking at his own eyes, almost lost into them.

“What?”

“What happened to Mom and Dami?” Jiyong asked the question he had always been afraid to ask. He could spend sleepless nights thinking how his family could be doing, how happy could they been, always scared to even have the thought they could be dead, or missing. Had they ever asked for him? Had they forgotten about him?

“I don’t think I’m the one who should tell you…”

“Tell me, are they… are they dead?” Jiyong said, now looking at him. Seunghyun lowered his gaze, and Jiyong felt his heart constricting inside his chest. “Are they? Tell me!”

“Your sister’s alive…” Seunghyun said, and Jiyong, even if the anger was still running through him, felt a ray of hope.

“She’s alive?” Jiyong echoed and Seunghyun nodded. “Where is she?”

“That’s what we don’t know…”

“What happened to them Seung, tell me… please…” Jiyong said, his voice breaking as the thought of his own sister, suffering, alone and away flooded his mind.

“That night, your father was supposed to kill Woochoong, but he didn’t, we still don’t know what stopped him, what could have gone wrong. It’s a mystery only a few may know. But his mistake, or whatever happened, was the core to a greater problem, and he got killed, so did your mother. Your sister was taken away, and Hyunsuk took you with him, as he did with me and all the others. Some say Hyunsuk searched for your sister, but I say he has something to do with her disappearance.” Seunghyun explained, and Jiyong could only nod as he tried to let that information sink within him.

“I have to find her…” Jiyong muttered.

“No, you have to keep hiding until I-“

“Until you what? Kill Chaerin? I can’t allow you to do that. I would prefer a hundred times that she kills me slowly with a needle than you killing her. But I need a reason to fight, I need to know there’s something more than just saving my , and there is, and that reason is Dami. It’s not Chaerin who we have to worry, I would happily allow her to kill me and bury me with her own nails if she wants to, I don’t care, but Dami, I don’t know anything about her.” Jiyong said, and Seunghyun nodded after a few moments of hesitation.

“But before you go out like a crazy guy for your reason, give me time to know when Woochoong’s planning to attack.” Seunghyun said, to which Jiyong nodded.

“Two days.”

“That’s the leader I missed.” Seunghyun said, quickly leaving the room. Jiyong let out a sigh and looked at himself on the mirror, now images of his older sister appeared in front of him. How could she look now? How is she, if she’s still alive?

“There’s only one reason…”