The cleaning was always harder than the party, and this time, it was no less. Chaerin was making holes on the backyard accompanied by Jonghyun and Taemin, who were talking about the way Taemin almost died trying to save Minho’s . Chaerin wasn’t paying any particular attention to them, but their topic seemed to be of great importance, since their faces were stern and serious.

“You know I would gladly die for any of you.” Taemin said, his shovel deep on the earth, but no movement was made on his part. Jonghyun, who was furiously making a hole, stopped abruptly and looked at him. Chaerin, minding her own business, started to get curious, and as she made a hole, she absentmindedly listened to them.

“That’s the problem Taemin, you don’t appreciate your life as much as I appreciate it. Think of Krystal, she has already lost too much.” Jonghyun said. Taemin grabbed his shovel and threw a bit of dirt on Chaerin’s way, completely unaware of it.

“Do you think I’m not thinking about her?! Her face it’s the only thing that keeps me going on!” Taemin almost screamed. Jonghyun stopped and looked at him, his jaw muscle clenching.

“I don’t think you’re thinking about her.” Jonghyun said. Taemin threw his shovel aside and gave his back towards Jonghyun.

“I’m done here.”

“No, you’re not, now stop!” Jonghyun said, his voice depicted an authority that made even Chaerin stop. She looked at them, Taemin was slowly turning around, his face stern, his eyes almost black in the shadows of his dark hair, his jaw muscles clenching and his fist balled into fist, trembling. “You’re not thinking about her as I didn’t thought about Luna once, now look at me.”

“It’s different.”

“What makes it so different? I was selfish, I was a mothering selfish and now, she’s gone. Don’t you think I regret everything I have ever done? Don’t you think I wish every night she was there with me and she’s not?”

“Jonghyun, what happened to Luna… it was a mistake, and we’re working on it…”

“Mistake or not, I pushed it to happen. I didn’t cared about anything, I only cared about me and our job. My job led me to be the man I am now, and I hate him with all my might.” Jonghyun said, his voice trembling as his index finger was still firmly pointing at his chest. Taemin lowered his head and took a deep breath.

“What do you want me to do?” Taemin murmured. Jonghyun took a deep breath and let his hand hang on his side, still looking at Taemin.

“I want you to care for Krystal. I want you out of this.” Jonghyun said. Taemin quickly looked up, his face completely surprised, his eyes wide and his mouth a bit open.

“You can’t ask me that.”

“I can, I’m still the boss here.”

“You can’t expect me to leave you all here, alone.” Taemin said. “I’m not leaving you.”

“You are,” Jonghyun said. “You and the rest are leaving tonight, I’ve already decided.”

“You can’t decide this things on your own.”

“I already did, besides, what’s the issue? Weren’t you the one who didn’t wanted any part of this?” Jonghyun said. Taemin took a quick glance towards Chaerin, and she quickly looked to the side, pretending she was looking at the people that were dragging the corpses out of the house.

“Things are different now. It’s your family the one’s that involved. I know how much you care about them, so I care about them too.” Taemin said. Jonghyun shook his head and took a few steps closer to Taemin. Chaerin continue digging her hole as she looked at them with the corner of her eye. Jonghyun put a hand on Taemin’s shoulder and sighed.

“Care about your family too. Krystal’s waiting, and she won’t wait for too long. I don’t want you going through what I went. Please Taemin, stay out of this.” Jonghyun said. Taemin looked down, then looked at Chaerin again. This time, she didn’t looked away, she looked at him. His expression confused her, for the first time, she saw pain and sadness on his eyes, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty herself for that. Taemin nodded and turned around, walking away from them. Jonghyun shook his head and grabbed his shovel, continuing his work.

“Jonghyun?” Chaerin said, her voice lower than she intended to. Jonghyun, however, looked at her, his eyes wide.

“Do you need something?” He said. Chaerin shook her head and walked closer to him.

“Is everything alright?” She said. Jonghyun smiled and nodded.

“You heard us, right?” He said and she nodded.

“There wasn’t any way I couldn’t, you weren’t being specifically quiet.” She said and Jonghyun laughed.

“True,” Jonghyun said and grabbed his shovel, deliberately ignoring Chaerin’s question. She furrowed her eyebrows and put her shovel aside, now standing next to Jonghyun.

“If you want to talk about anything, I’m here.” She said and Jonghyun smiled nodding.

“Thanks.” He said. Chaerin puffed her cheeks and nodded.

“What Taemin did… It was something we would all have done. I would do it for any of you, if it was necessary.” She said. Jonghyun stopped, looked up and let out a sigh.

“For him, it’s something dangerous. Chaerin, there’s too many people depending on him right now, he can’t be careless anymore.” Jonghyun said. Chaerin nodded.

“I see…” She said.

“I don’t want him to suffer anymore. He has gone through much, thus he’s become careless. He wasn’t always like that. He used to be a merry boy, always happy, always enjoying everything, now look at him, it’s always as if a black cloud was over him, making it rain every day, every night.” Jonghyun said, still looking distant. “And I can’t help it but blame myself, because I should’ve be stronger, should’ve stopped him when it was still possible.”

“But we can’t never interfere in other’s people decisions, it’s theirs to make.” Chaerin said. Jonghyun nodded and looked at her, his eyes warm, though she could almost see sadness in them.

“It’s always our decision to make, but if someone pushes us far enough, it seems there is no other way.” Jonghyun said and sat down and gestured her to sit next to him. She did, and he smiled at her. “How’s Jiyong?”

“He’s fine I guess. He’s probably cleaning around, the neat freak.” She said as a smile plastered on her face. Jonghyun nodded and looked at his hands.

“I guess we have that in common.”

“I’ve noticed there’s a lot more than that that you have in common.” She said with a chuckle. Jonghyun nodded again, a crooked smile on his face.

“He’s strong, Jiyong, stronger than I could ever be. I admire him, so much it’s stupid.” Jonghyun said. Chaerin was looking at him, a confused expression on her face.

“What are you talking about? You’re strong too. We all have to.” She said. Jonghyun shook his head, his crooked smile still on his face, though his eyes looked off, sad.

“He was strong enough to keep you, to fight for you. I wasn’t, I never was. He suffers, but he endures it. I suffer and let people do with me whatever they please. Jiyong stood against the world, I never dared, I always rode with it.” Jonghyun said. “I could never stand against my father, and I have lost way too much for it to even care now.”

“Jonghyun… you’re standing against him now…” Chaerin said, her voice soft. Jonghyun chuckled and nodded.

“Because now, I have nothing else to lose.” He said. There was something on his voice that made Chaerin wonder what he was really feeling. She could feel sadness, she could also feel sorrow, but there was a tone of resignation that was too confusing for her, as if he was waiting, or had waited and never had. She could only wonder.

“Who was Luna?” Chaerin dared to ask. She saw Jonghyun’s smile flailing a bit, but he composed himself and smiled wider.

“My wife.” Jonghyun said. Chaerin furrowed her eyebrows at him. “Or at least, a girlfriend living with me, we never got married.”

“I thought your father…” She said but then stopped, it was probably the least he wanted to hear at the moment, that his father controlled everything about him. Jonghyun nodded, his smile still on his face, but it looked empty, pained, forced.

“It was him who didn’t allowed us to get married.” He said. Chaerin wanted to tell him to stop, but there was something about the mystery that surrounded him that was too alluring for her to know. “And he was the one who took her away from me.”

“Is she dead?”

“No,” Jonghyun said, his voice shaking a bit. “No she’s not dead. Worst, she’s missing.”

“Missing? Why haven’t you looked for her?” Chaerin said. Jonghyun nodded and looked at her, the same resignation that was bothering her came back.

“I tried, but what Woochoong wants lost, it can never be found again.”

“Once he’s dead, we can look for her.” Chaerin said. Jonghyun nodded, though the same resignation was all over him.

“I hope.”

“Can you tell me what happened?” Chaerin said. Jonghyun looked at her with confused eyes. “Maybe I can help you look for her.”

“It’s quite of a long story.” Jonghyun said. Chaerin shrugged.

“We have quite some time until Dami recovers and we can move out. I doubt it would take you more than 3 days.” She said and Jonghyun chuckled and nodded.

“It’s kind of boring, and it was all my fault, really.” Jonghyun said. Chaerin shrugged as she shook her head.

“It’s either our fault or not our fault, it still hurts the same.” She said and Jonghyun nodded.

“She had asked me too many times to move out, she always looked afraid whenever I wasn’t home. Every time I would get home, she would look as if she had seen heaven, I could never point a finger, too busy with my own job.I was my father’s second in command that time, and whenever he wasn’t in town, I would take over. Everything flowed smoothly, money came in big, my apartment was great and Luna could have everything she ever wanted. But selfish me never noticed that the only thing she desired the most was a normal, happy life. There would be days that I wouldn’t be home, always working, always being busy. She asked me, she begged several times for us to move out, but I couldn’t just leave my father like that.” He said, his voice sad, his face even worst.

“When her panic worsened, so did my nerves. She wouldn’t sleep, eat or anything, and I started to miss work, started to be late, to leave jobs unattended. It’s unthinkable for a company such as my father’s to have any single mistake, and I made a lot. I was worried, Luna was sick, and I was to blame for it.” He said, his head hung low. “I tried for many days and nights to find a place, a nice quiet place in the outsides of Seoul, but every time I pitched a house, it would be sold when I went. I never thought, never even dared to think my father was behind all of it, but he was, and Luna only worsened with time. I thought she would die, I thought I would lose her, so my father came into picture. One day I told him about my problem, and the bastard told me to get rid of her, that she was a nuisance to our family.”

“For only that, I tried to move out faster, but the only way was using her name to do so. And I did, nobody knew her real name. We bought a house and we moved out. I stopped going to my father’s company, found another job under her name. Everything worked out for a few months. She got better, her terrors had lessened and she was starting to gain weight. For those months I was the happiest man alive, until my father had found me.” He said. Chaerin was starting to feel the sadness on his voice, and for a moment, she felt the anger run through her, how much more damaged had Woochoong done?

“He took me back, and I never saw her again. When I got back to the house we had bought, it was a mess, and I couldn’t find her anywhere. Everything was broken, our memories, our live together completely destroyed. He wanted it to be as if she had never existed, no trace of her, no data on system, nothing. I have wasted all my resources and still, no trace of her.” He finally looked at Chaerin, his eyes watery, his hands trembling. Chaerin wanted to hug him, to tell him everything was alright, but as everything, nothing was alright, and that past was a terrible mess. She shook her head and a tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly cleaned it with her thumb and took a deep breath.

“We’ll kill him.” Another voice said. They both looked back only to find Jiyong looking at Jonghyun with an empathetic look. Jonghyun quickly stood up and dusted himself. “I promise you, brother. We will kill him.”