Taeyeon's POV

When I've fallen in love before, I always tried to tackle it or run it down. But with her, it was different. I was driven by guts and pure intuition. It was out of ordinary because I've always been a logical person, I calculated and reasoned things instead of using my guts or intuition. I guess when love appears, logic
disappears. When she appears, all my logic disappears. I had never felt such a complete reliance on someone-on the very fact of her existence.I felt like a bird gazing up at the sky from her nest and I wanted to fly and soared towards the sky, I wanted to...free fall.. no matter how illogical it was.

After I left Tiffany's room, I didn't go straight to her room, I stood for a good minutes in the unlit corridor between Tiffany and Sunny's room and Hyoyeon and Seohyun's room. I thought I felt someone literally pounding a hammer incessantly in my head, causing me to be feeling a great deal of pain throughout my whole head. I shivered and leaned my body against the cold wall, trying to subdued the sharp pain. I was trying to come up with words of explanation that I could say to her. But I was completely washed away by thoughts, the kind of thoughts that make me feel like I've been dyed completely blue, especially in the heart. I was playing a scenario on my head, what if she refused to hear my explanation? what if she locked herself in a prison called jealousy that she voluntarily entered and no matter how hard I bang the door and trying to lock her out from the jealousy prison, she refused to leave that somber place?

The pain that was in my head ever so slowly creep to my neck, I was submerged in a strange and lonely atmosphere. I wasn't confident that I could love her enough to make her stay with me and all the demons which were dwelling in the deepest pit of my desolate and empty space of heart. I felt helpless but at the same time my guts was kicking my in the stomach, forcing me to drag my feet to her room. 

I withdrew myself from the cold wall and slowly I walked towards the other end of the corridor. The common room were still packed with the others lying around in front of the 32-inch flat screen TV that the manager Oppa just bought. They were intensely staring at some drama, didn't even realized that I was watching them for a second, amused by how intense they could be when they watched drama. But soon my amusement died down, once again replaced by a gloomy realization. I realized that my feet were hitting the ground in time with the beating of my heart. I arrived in front of her & Sooyoung's room, I slowly balled up all my fingers and gather the courage to knock but I didn't, I stopped. I stopped and didn't move for what I felt like a hundred hours before I heard a voice interrupted me.

"Just go in buddy, she's been waiting for you."

I turned my head towards the source of the voice, although I did know whose the source of the voice was. It was Yuri, her lofty yet delicate figure was standing at the end of the corridor. She had her hair in a ponytail, exposing her unblemished perfect tan complexion. Her face was symphatetic and for a fleeting moment I felt like I was a nerdy fresh year student who was being encouraged by a cool senior to try out for a junior-varsity football team. I still hesitated but then I nodded weakly at her. She winked at me and gave me a thumbs up before leaving me alone once again in the corridor. I steadily reached out for the pale-white door again and I knocked three times. After three times knocking, I heard a soft voice answered my knock.

"Come in."

I carefully opened the door and at the first step inside the room I found her at the edge of the bed. She was wearing a matching pink tracksuit and her bangs were all swept to the back. She looked so vulnerable but at the same time still retains the sweetness elegance in her face. She was leaning against the wall of her bed and hugging her knees tightly, as if she was feeling somewhat between scared and cold.

"Hey Sica," I moved closer to her and when I was finally a centimetres away from her did I realize that her eyes were bloodshot and swollen. Her cheeks were red and I could still see a wet trail of tears starting from the corner of her eyes.

My heart sank at the realization. What I felt was a deep terror. And a kind of hopelessness, a feeling that I could never run away from this thing, no matter how far I went. I slowly moved even closer to her and finally I kneeled down at the side of the bed, she didn't look at me, still hugging her knees and now she looked away to the other side. After I kneeled down, I cautiously grabbed both of her delicate hands and when she didn't show any sign of refusal, I moved her frail, delicate hand at my cold cheeks. She slowly looked back at me, and I closed my eyes, I didn't dare to see the look of hurt or betrayal at that brown eyes that I've become addicted with these past years. I inhaled the sweet scent of what seems like my favorite vanilla ice cream in the middle of a dry summer season. I still closed my eyes and then I could feel her fingers were tracing my cheeks and I was hit by a wave load of endearment.

"Taengoo," her soft and high-pitched voice sounded nasal.

Attentively, I opened my eyes and I was greeted not by hurt or betrayal but with a terrible amount of sadness and she started to sob. Her sobs slipped softly through the darkness and sank down into me, into my very being, the way the endless rains do in monsoon season. At that moment I could literally felt how it was to be pushed down from the edge of the cliff.

I let go both of her hands and then I cupped her face, I slowly made her look at me directly in the eyes before I asked her,"Will you tell me why you cry?"

She hesitated, seems to be unsure of what to say so I initiated another questions.

"I do not like Tiffany," I said to her, my voice was clear, vivid, without hesitation. I was hoping she could feel the sincerity and the honesty with my statement.

I caught a glimpse of her smiling, but her eyes were still sad and....heartbroken. 

"I know," she answered me, her voice still sounds nasal but now she was smiling, brighter than before but I could still notice a hint of sadness and uncertainty in her smile.

"Then why did you cry?", I held her hand tighter and I found the courage to look directly into her eyes. I was then wrapped in a certainty of a massive amount of love and I could feel my heart tightens when she looked back at me.

"I....," she hesitated again, but she responded my touch and held back my hand with the same amount of force.

I tilted my head slowly and I broke out our hands contact, my right hand reached the side of her left cheek and caressed it adoringly.

"I don't think I'm enough for you, Taengoo," she said, her voice was more quiet than before and a flow of tears strolled slowly again from the side of her eyes.

I felt like I was being slapped in the face with her statement and I could feel a tight grab in my chest, suffocating me. My instinct drove me into action, an action that was followed by desire and guts and courage and love and every single feelings I had for her. I leaned forward to her and then I secured her into an affectionate hug. I could heard her sobbing and I could feel a warm liquid touch my shoulders as I pulled her even tighter. We didn't break the hug for a long minutes and finally I broke the hug, I held both her shoulders and I said to her.

"Look at me, Jessica Jung."

She was trembling and she hesitantly looked up to me, when her eyes finally met mine I was flowed by an extraordinay feeling of longing. An acute feeling of pain and craving, I was in love, there's no denying that I was in love and I wanted her, I wanted her more than anything. I didn't want to hear anymore statements of worry coming from that delicate lips of her. 

I reached for her my hand brushing the strand of hair off her cheek as it slides ever so lightly past her ear my thumb rubbing softly caressing her earlobe my fingers supporting the back of her head as I lean in and firmly I put our lips together. I can feel her quickly inhale pulling the air from my own lungs our moist with desire, I pull her body closer and embrace her holding her tightly against me feeling the race of our hearts as one.  I could smell her wonderful minty breath as it brushed along my lips. I couldn't fight the urge and tpulled her to my lips. Her warm lips felt like heaven with its warmth and softness. After a brief seconds of hesitancy, I could feel she kissed me back with so much intensity, and I felt like I would burst into an atomic particles. Our lips locked for what felt like hours and I could not register into my mind if my heart ever beat this fast before. 

Finally she broke the kiss and I was  beyond disappointed, I realized that I wanted more of her and I was washed away by worries if she thought the same way as me. I could still feel the minty breath of her and the taste of vanilla and orange in her lips.

"You're cheating, you stole a kiss from me again," she said to me. I was afraid to look at her, afraid of rejection, afraid of dismissal, but her statement was followed by a soft giggle and when I looked up at her, she was beaming with smile and the strong features of her face look even more engaging and attractive.

"I..I'm ss-", my apology was cut by a touch of warm lips on my cheeks and I was dumbfounded beyond words.

"Y-y-you are not mad?", I touched the place where her lips landed earlier and I stared at her, mouth gaped open.

"Why should I be mad? Did you do something with Tiffany earlier?", I knew she teased me but my heart jumped out off its' place upon hearing her questions.

I shook my head agressively,"aniyo! aniyo!"

She chuckled at my reactions and she extended her tiny arms, caressing my hair,"Pabo, I was just teasing you. I believe you Taengoo. But I'm just scared that I wouldn't meet your expectations, I'm scared that I'm not exactly what you need but she is."

I let out a deep sigh of relief and I cautiously smiled at her before scooting over beside her in the bed and pulled her to cuddle with me.

"You are more than enough," still cuddled with her, I scooted higher and kissed the top of her head. 

At least things were good,

for a while.