It was a bright and rather hot Summer day in Seoul, the temperature reached 34'C and almost all the inhabitants of Seoul chose to stay at their respective houses and indulge themselves in a cool air of Air Conditioner. Dog days like these were always a perfect occasion to bathe one self with the glorious light of sun though, no matter how comfortable it was inside the house, it was always better to spend times outside during the Summer. 

Jessica, Hyoyeon, and Yuri were all dying of boredom. They didn't have any schedule and the dorm was awfully quiet in the afternoon with everyone gone to do their scedhules or visit their family. Jessica was especially bored, she thought she could spend her day off with Taeyeon today but it turned out Taeyeon already scheduled herself for a visit to her family in Jeonju.

"Mianhae Sica, I promise you I'll take you for a movie sometimes next week?", Taeyeon put out an apologetic look while holding Jessica's hand firmly.

Jessica was supposed to be mad and bitter but when she saw Taeyeon's remorseful face which resembles a sad puppy and how firm her grip was in Jessica's hand, she couldn't help but feeling guilty for positioning herself as a victim and making Taeyeon feel awfully sorry to her. 

Jessica pouted and whined deliberately. Although she felt guilty for making Taeyeon feel sorry, she couldn't deny the fact that she loved being pleaded for forgiveness from an apologetic puppy-looking Taeyeon.

Taeyeon looked down when she saw Jessica pouted, she did feel very apologetic but most of all she also longed for a day off with Jessica. She was preparing to confess conventionaly to Jessica and she had to delay it. Taeyeon then proceeded to pull Jessica into an embrace and she kissed her lightly in the cheek. Jessica face was blushing wildly. Thankfully Taeyeon couldn't see it and to satisfy herself even more upon Taeyeon's consience-stricken, Jessica buried her face in Taeyeon's neck and kissed her there.

"Aish Sica, you are going to make this three days in Jeonju feels like nine years", Taeyeon affectionately Jessica's smooth blonde hair.

"Why nine years?", Jessica asked.

"One day three autumns. One day without you feels like three autumns for me."

Jessica smiled widely hearing Taeyeon's statement,"I don't know you could be romantic."

"You don't ? Well, we will have a lot of time to get to know each other in more years to come so wait for me in three days ?"

 

--

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Holy I'm freaking bored. Let's go get ice cream, stones, soils, anything really as long as we can get out of this dorm!", Hyoyeon barged in to the living room where Yuri was half asleep-half watching and Jessica was daydreaming about Taeyeon.

Yuri yawned and sat up from her position,"Are you a barbarian or something? Why would you go get stones or soils?"

Jessica rolled her eyes and glared at Yuri,"You are such a blockhead, it's a metaphor for God's sake," she then proceeded to get out of her cozy position in sofa and made her way to Hyoyeon,"I'm in, I'm dead bored. The longer I stay in this dorm the more desire I have to brutally devour both of you."

"Well devour this exotic blockhead," Hyoyeon pointed out at Yuri whose puzzled face resembled a mischief being trapped for its' own prank, "I'm too worthy for the world to be devoured," said Hyoyeon.

"Who's exotic and what is a metaphor?", Yuri finally got up from her position as well and straightened up herself. 

"Oh bloody hell Yul, let's get outside before your brain freeze and you become practically imbecile", Jessica sarcastically replied Yuri's answer and grabbed her by her arm.

Hyoyeon put her fist into the air and grabbed both Yuri and Jessica's arm,"Yeah let's go outside and melt this exotic brain of our dear Black Pearl before she becomes and idiot!"

 

--

 

The trio finally went outside and decided to get some ice cream from their usual ice cream parlor which was located in the same neighbourhood as their dorm. They avoided to go outside their neighbourhood because they knew very well it would cause a commotion and they just wanted a peaceful day outside to enjoy their ice cream. Luckily for them, there were no sasaengs who waited for them in front of their dorm. They love their fans of course, but even celebrities are human who will always long for a little privacy and quality times with friends without being followed or repeatedly screamed at. 

"It's very hot outside, why are we outside again?", Yuri was whining due to the heat.

"To melt that frozen brain of yours before you become a numbnuts," Hyoyeon stopped her vanilla ice cream and tease Yuri.

"I miss my numbnuts," Jessica suddenly muttered out of nowhere while absentmindedly devouring the strawberry ice cream.

Yuri and Hyoyeon both laughed boisterously at Jessica's remarks.

"Someone is lovesick," Yuri nudge Hyoyeon's arm and exchanged a teasing look. 

"She's only gone for three days, why make a fuss about it ?", Hyoyeon asked Jessica in a teasing manner, followed by her infamous rascal smile. 

"That's how people in love are, Hyoyeon", Yuri answered instead of Jessica,"I bet you don't know because you've never been in love or being loved by someone," Yuri laughed and Jessica laughed along, both were clearly delighted by Hyoyeon's objection looks.

"As if you've been in love or being loved before!", Hyoyeon playfully poked Yuri's forehead who was faking a painful-looking face. 

"Of course you are if you count all those young trainees you've been dating like how many days? One or two?", Hyoyeon asked Yuri in sarcastic manner.

Yuri laughed and mussed up Hyoyeon's hair,"You are one smartass are you?"

The trio laughed and then the laughed died down followed by a tranquil silence. The sun was about to set but it still radiates a fair glow of rays due to Summer. Their surrounding color had already start to change into a vanilla twilight color and they both fell into quite a long silent, as if they were basking themselves in the innocent remembrances of youthful Summer days. 

"So Jessica, why Taeyeon ?", Hyoyeon broke the silence and Jessica slowly turned her head to Hyoyeon. It was surprising to see Hyoyeon asked such a question. Hyoyeon was a very lighthearted and carefree person who doesn't seem to have any care in the world. But she knew Jessica very well and she knew Taeyeon was the closest thing Jessica ever got to a first love. Hyoyeon always thought perhaps the more you aged the more mature and sure you became with a definition of love and relationship. 

Yuri added another question to Jessica,"Do you swing our way, I mean like Taeyeon and I, or do you swing both way?"

Jessica took a deep breath and rest her chin upon both of her hands. She gazed off the distance as if she's trying to call out for words and answers from the far-off distance.

"I swing for Taeyeon," said Jessica. Her voice was resonating with a sense of vast hopefulness and she smiled lightly but somehow it looked as if she was drowned in deep sadness. 

"Why though ?", Hyoyeon still insisted on her previous question, face plastered with curiosity.

"I'm not going to lie that at first I'm aware of her childlike charm and beauty. But to swing her way has nothing to do with her mere outer appearance. As years went by and I got the chance to know her, I realized that her outer appearance was the least of her other millions qualities. I became charmed by her virtues, I was drawn in by her goodness," Jessica answered firmly.

"She's cute as hell I admit, and easy to like," Yuri nodded her head in agreement. 

"Yeah. There's a charm in her being the oldest yet she resembled a kid the most, both in her appearance and manner," Hyoyeon added.

"That's just one of the quality that I like about her," Jessica chuckled softly, her head filled with the thought of Taeyeon. 

"Do you love her ?", Yuri stared at Jessica, her manner transformed quickly and she became oddly serious. 

Jessica once again gazed into the distance, she sighed as if she was being sentenced to a life prison.

"It's kind of hard to define love don't you think ?", Jessica stared back at Yuri and looked at Hyoyeon who shrugged her shoulder in confusion.

"I never been in love before, don't look at me," Hyoyeon gave Jessica a bewildered looks.

"Let me make a correction to my question," said Yuri, "She's your member, just like Hyoyeon and I and everyone else. How come you know you love her in a different way ?"

Jessica let out another soft chuckles,"Day by day I would find I was thinking about her in between my vacant daydreaming time. Day by day I would wake up in the morning and thought to myself will I be able to see her today ? Day by day I would lay awake at night and thought about her especially when the day went by without any encounter between us. Day by day I realized she was like a virus permeating through my head and heart, occupying it and taking a vast space inside it. And then one day I saw her and my heart tightened with the thought of her seeing someone else. One day I realized that I wanted to be the one she told about her problems in that complex fortress of her mind; I wanted to be the one who could hold her dear in the night and waking up finding her puppy-like face beside me."

"Aren't you talking about me?", Hyoyeon let out another rascal smile and Yuri softly slap her head.

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO MAKE A CRACKING COMMENT IN THE MIDDLE OF SERIOUS CONVERSATION," Yuri shouted to Hyoyeon and teasingly strangled Hyoyeon's neck. 

Jessica laughed seeing Yuri and Hyoyeon's exchange. They were the two people who first knew about Jessica's crush to Taeyeon. Jessica still remembered the night she came bawling to Yuri after she witnessed the sweet exchanges between Taeyeon and Tiffany. Jessica still didn't know what drives her that night. She was accustomed and rather numb with Taeyeon and Tiffany's intense interactions but that one particular night she couldn't help but to feel an agonizing pain and a sense of hopelessness so she ran for her closest confidante, Kwon Yuri. Yuri was dumbfounded and not knowing what to do to calm the Ice Princess down, she pleaded for help to Kim Hyoyeon, her fellow prankster and another confidante of Jessica. 

That one winter night, the trio spent their night together in Jessica's room. Sooyoung and everyone else were absence to visit her parents that night and there were only Tiffany and Taeyeon in the other side of the dorm. Jessica recalled that and she thought perhaps that was the reason why she chose that night to came bawling to Yuri and Hyoyeon. There they were that night and yet she was greeted by the cold realization that Taeyeon would not choose her to spend the night with. She will always choose Tiffany, that's what Jessica thought. 

"Why are you smilling out of the sudden ? Does Taeyeon infects you with a numbnuts virus from your stolen first kiss ?", Hyoyeon flicked her fingers in front of Jessica who then made a move to slapped Hyoyeon's hand.

"YAH KIM HYOYEON !", Jessica was flushed with the color of her recently eaten ice cream, strawberry. 

"Do you guys feel that Tiffany wasn't too happy with this?", Jessica threw out a question to both Yuri and Hyoyeon.

Yuri and Hyoyeon confusingly looked at each other and Hyoyeon gestured Yuri to answered the question.

"It seems like it but I guess it's because she's very protective of Taeyeon," Yuri answered.

"Do you think so ? Don't you think she actually harbored some feelings for Taeyeon ?", asked Jessica again.

"Even if she is, I think it's a false signal," Hyoyeon added.

"What do you mean by false signal ?" Jessica wasn't sure about the meaning of Hyoyeon's remark.

"Yul, explain it, I'm not good with words. My tongue got all tied up if I talked too much," Hyoyeon looked at Yuri.

"Seriously Hyo ? You are the one who comes up with the theory and I have to explain it...How the hell am I suppose to know ?" Yuri looked at Hyoyeon in disbelief. 

"It's like... how do I put it into words," Hyoyeon scracthed the back of her head in frustration, "Like she thought she likes Taeyeon but she actually isn't because she's protective of Taeyeon, get it?", Hyoyeon looked at Jessica and Yuri for confirmation.

Yuri nodded and then complemented Hyoyeon's explanation,"You see Sica, Taeyeon and Tiffany are very close. Both of them know each other the longest and they used to live together in pre-debut era so it wouldn't surprise me if they are very intimate," Yuri turned her eyes towards Jessica whose face seemed to turned sour and somber, "Do you...want me to continue ?" Yuri asked for Jessica's approval before she explained more.

"Yeah well, I get it. Just continue and don't mind my solemn face," Jessica shrugged her shoulder and her eyes turned as cold as ice, at that moment she was very close to the resemblance of her infamous nickname, Ice Princess.

Yuri awkwardly scratched her forehead and cleared before continuing her explanation,"I guess on a relationship like that between two friends who depended on each other so much it's common to sparks some kind of false signal that they might be in love or compatible for each other. And based on Hyoyeon's theory, it seems like Tiffany has a false signal that she might like Taeyeon more than just friend."

Jessica took a deep breath,"I guess it can't be helped. I just to have prepare myself for being heartbroken if Taeyeon realized that she actually likes Tiffany, not me," Jessica's face grew solemn and solemn, it was as if there's a dark cloud right at the top of her head.

"I guess I'm Taeyeon's false signal," Jessica muttered, she sounded immensely desperate.

Yuri hitted Jessica's shoulder, her face was quite irritated, possibly because of Jessica's latest remark,"Are you seriously being infected with a numbnuts virus by Taeyeon?", Yuri put her hands in Jessica's shoulders and turned Jessica towards her,"Taeyeon is a numbnuts alright but she choose you and that should be enough to convince you that she loves you as well. Taeyeon is very reserved to the point of unbelieveably ridiculous. if you're only her false signal she wouldn't dare to said what she said yesterday about her liking you very much in front of everyone, let alone proclaiming that she intended to make it official between you two."

All at once, a tears came strolling down the corner of Jessica's dark brown eyes. In a few seconds her face had dampened and she struggled to breath because she reached the point of sobbing now.

Yuri pulled Jessica's face to her shoulder and embrace her. Hyoyeon looked at Yuri, eyes filled with visible concern and then she rested her head in Jessica's back. Yuri and Hyoyeon immersed themselves in Jessica's tiny body, comforting her with a warm embrace.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't bring the whole stupid false signal theory. Who am I to talk anyway, I do not know a grains of rice about love at all," Hyoyeon patted Jessica's head lovingly.

Jessica shook her head, she wanted to console Hyoyeon and apologize as well because she didn't want Hyoyeon to feel guilty for things that she shouldn't feel guilty with. 

Yuri cleared again,"Jessica Jung, you have to believe me and most of all you have to believe in Taeyeon. That dorky kid has choose you and who would guess someone as reserved as her could get out of her delicate shell and choose to love someone ? She chooses you, trust her."

--

 

Jessica was lying awake at her bed, outside the dorm was still rather quiet. Sunny and Tiffany already got back but the rests were staying with their family. Earlier, Jessica opened the door for Tiffany and it can't be helped that there's a sense of tacit rivalry between them since Taeyeon publicly acknowledge she likes Jessica.

Both of the girls were originally from America, they even shared the same hospital when they were born, so it was eventual that they would bonded well over their second homeland. Tiffany was always the dominant and loud one, she's very extroverted while Jessica was more reserved and only truly opening up to someone she's comfortable with. But nonetheless, their contrasting personality complemented each other and they would share stories about everything. Jessica and Tiffany were very close but Tiffany was always closer to Taeyeon and eventually Sunny compared to her closeness with Jessica. Tiffany was dominating and Jessica complemented that by being submissive. However the matter was altered when it came to Taeyeon; Jessica tried to be caring to Taeyeon and draw herself closer to Taeyeon but Tiffany was always there, almost as if she purposely blocked all other human beings who wanted to befriended Taeyeon and Jessica soon grew weary of that and pulled out herself from interactions involving Taeyeon and Tiffany. It's either JeTi or TaengSic. TaeNySic would end up doomed with Taeyeon being torn over her love to Jessica or her loyalty to Tiffany and Tiffany and Jessica constantly snarled at each other for Taeyeon's attention and affection. 

"Hey", Jessica greeted Tiffany for the sake of formality. She was still bitter over the thought of false signal theory by Hyoyeon. 

Tiffany stared at Jessica but her eyes were unwelcoming,"Hey. I thought you'll be out."

"Yeah I was just arrived with Hyoyeon and Yul," Jessica turned her back and she wanted more than anything to avoid another awkward exchanging between them.

Jessica sighed when she made her way to her bedroom and Tiffany didn't call out to her. She thanked God for being saved from an intense amount of awkwardness and unwanted rivalry. 

 

--

 

*ring tones*

Jessica jumped out of her bed and excitedly grabbed her cellphone. She knew exactly who called because she had set a special ring tone for Taeyeon.

"Yoboseyo Sica-yah ~"

"Yoboyeso Taengoo," Jessica smiled widely and she hoped very much that Taeyeon could tell that she was smiling over the phone and that she was drowned with an immense of happiness because Taeyeon called.

"You sounded happy," Taeyeon chuckled. Her chuckles sent a sense of tingling to Jessica's stomach, as if Jessica's stomach was attacked by a troops of butterflies.

"Because you call ~, how's your family?", Jessica threw herself in her bed and rolled around, she was definitely infused by an immense amount of happiness just by hearing Taeyeon's voice over the phone.

Taeyeon chuckled again, across the phone a smile also plastered in Taeyeon's face. She was radiating a bright aura of happiness and it didn't go unnoticed by her older brother, Jiwoon. 

"TAEYEON IS THAT JESSICA, ANNYEONG JESSICA I'M JIWOON OPPA!"

Taeyeon hissed at her brother and shooed him away after quietly whispering,"Oppa you are dead." 

Taeyeon managed to cover her cellphone with hand but Jessica can still hear the loud shout of Jiwoon over the phone.

"Who's that ? Your oppa ?", asked Jessica.

"Yeah. That rascal. Don't mind him, I'm sorry for the disturbance," said Taeyeon. Unknowingly to Jessica, Taeyeon's face was burning red due to her oppa's teasing.

"You told him about us ?", Jessica asked again. 

"Y..yy...eah," Taeyeon stammered, she's scared that Jessica would be angry because she told someone else other than their members, "Is it okay...?", Taeyeon asked, her heart was pounding heavily.

"Of course it's okay, I just didn't expect you would tell you brother," said Jessica.

"Oh!", Taeyeon exclaimed but quickly subdued her excitement, "I'm glad you're not angry."

"Why would I be angry. I'm glad you tell your brother and he doesn't seem to be annoyed with your choice. What did you tell him about ? Will you tell me ?", Jessica was curious about Taeyeon's confession to her brother. She never expected someone as reserved as Taeyeon would tell anyone about their relationship. 

Taeyeon laughed because of Jessica's remark,"Why would he be annoyed ? You are adorable if you aren't mine he definitely would make an advance to you and I have to kick him in the groins for that."

Jessica let out her distinctive laugh and Taeyeon was washed away by an ardent feeling of longing. She missed Jessica so much it pained her.

And then Taeyeon proceed to answered Jessica's other questions after they both finished laughing, "Yes of course I'll tell you, I'll tell you everything from now on," Taeyeon answered with excitement and her heart felt warm because she meant every words she said, "I told him I'm in love with one of my member and....", Taeyeon quickly stopped because she just realized she almost slipped out her tongue about her formal confession plan for Jessica.

"And.....?", Jessica asked with confusion.

"And that I love her very much," the sentences came naturally from Taeyeon's lips, she wasn't shocked or puzzled again with the certainty of her feeling towards Jessica. The old days when Taeyeon frustrated Jessica by being way too reserves had passed her. Taeyeon thought to herself that she would blurted out her love to Jessica without shying away anymore because Jessica deserved to know that she's loved, very much.

Jessica was too busy being excited she didn't able to notice Taeyeon was lying. She was screaming silently at the end of the receiver, she jolted up from her bed and walked back and forth because she was too excited and happy when she heard the boldness in Taeyeon's voice. It was almost certain that Jessica would attack Taeyeon's soft lips with her own if only she stood in front of her right now. 

"I love my Kim Taeyeon very much too," Jessica responded with an affirmation.

And it was Taeyeon's turn to be attacked by a troops of butterflies down in her stomach. Her heart tightened as well and she could feel a dampness in the corner of her eyes when she heard Jessica addressing her by My Kim Taeyeon. 

Jessica's worry from earlier afternoon was washed away by the sureness of Taeyeon's tone and bold statement. Furthermore the fact that Taeyeon deliberately told her brother about Jessica made Jessica felt quite like being accepted into the family. Although it was only her brother. She was diving deeper and deeper into the vast realm of unknown land called Taeyeon with love as her source of strenght that keep pushing her gently from the back. 

She slept peacefully that night, she remembered three remarks which warmed her heart and ease her worry.

"Have courage Jessica Jung."

"She chooses you, trust her."

"And that I love her very much."

The last remark was her favorite,

 

and forever will be the lullaby to accompany her to sleep.