1 year later… 

“JungAh! JungAh! There’s this patient who was admitted for having a major panic attack.” The nurse burst into my room. 

“Okay, where is the patient?” I asked, grabbing my stethoscope and quickly putting on my coat. 

“Room 25, just round the corner.” The nurse replied as both of us hastened our footsteps. 

“What happened to her?” 

“I don’t know. She was found in her room breathless and she was silting her wrists. She lost a lot of blood too but that has been taken care of.” The nurse explained. 

Knocking the door, I slowly turned the knob and slowly walked into the room as I didn’t want to alarm the patient. 

I spotted a girl who had a knees hugged towards her chest as she stared outside the window, her hair draped over a shoulders and her shoulders were heaving up and down, probably from crying. 

“Hey.” I gently called out. 

The girl did not give me a sign of recognition and continued staring out of the window, the sun casting temporary patterns on her through the window. 

“What are you thinking about?” I walked towards the girl and pulled a chair next to her. 

I glanced at her teary eyes with her tear-stained cheeks and sighed

“You don’t want to look ugly right?” I chuckled, passing her a piece of tissue.

“It doesn’t even matter anyway. He’s gone.” The girl muttered, vulnerability imminent. 

“Oh, it’s bad isn’t it?” I felt a pinch in my heart as I stared outside, admiring the picturesque view outside. 

“It hurts really bad. I begged him not to but he went. Just poof in a flash.” The girl whispered, her voice shaky. 

“Why did he leave you?” I asked. 

“His parents forced him back to the States. He said he loved me, you know. But what’s the use? I can’t ever see him again.” 

“Do you really think that he won’t ever come back again?” I stared at her, knowing already what her reply was going to be.

“Yes.” The girl nodded. 

“Then do you think that you will keep missing him?” 

The girl nodded once again.

“And do you like being like this?” 

“No.” The girl shook her head. 

“Then why are you being like this?” The girl looked up at me, her eyes widened in bewilderment. 

“Do you love your parents?” 

“Of course.” The girl said. 

“How many days has it been since he left?” 

“Two months.” The girl replied. 

“Don’t you think it has been long enough? Don’t you think you worried your parents enough? Don’t you think that you are just hurting yourself when you know in reality, he won’t ever come back again?” 

“But I can’t live without him.” 

“Then why are you still here? Don’t have these delusional conceptions that people will just come and go and just stop harping over it! You are hurting every single person around you. If he sees you like this, how do you think he will feel? Or who knows, he could be happily living in the States now, going on dates with his girlfriend, labelling you as “that ex” now. I know it hurts but you have to stop being so negative about things. Life is way too short for you to think like that. You mould your life, not him, not your parents, not me, so please, bring justice to yourself.” 

“It’s easy for you to say because you are not experiencing it yourself.” The girl retorted as she glared at me behind her tear-stained orbs.

“Oh right, and how do you know I never experienced anything like that?” 

“Because you can so easily make yourself sound wise. You seem like you lead a good life, being a doctor and helping people like that.” She replied. 

“And I am a doctor because I want to make sure people don't become like you. I seem happy , don’t I? But did you ever think about what scars are left behind on me?” 

The girl kept silent as she let a few tears roll down her cheeks. 

I bit my lips, trying to suppress my tears and immediately ran out of the ward. 

I quickly slammed the door shut behind me as i could only helpless lean against the door and bite on my arm to muffle the sounds of my antagonising cries. The tears stung my cheeks as they rolled down and my chest heaved up and down from all the pain I felt. 

I felt hopeless for being a hypocrite, contradicting myself when I was here crying. 

It had been one year, 12 months, 365 days, 8760 hours, 515600 minutes and 31536000 seconds but I still thought about him. It hurt to keep happy memories of us and it hurt to even have him on my mind every single day. 

The nights I would cry myself to sleep and the days I would look for him at the beach hadn’t ceased. I twas just all false hope I gave myself. 

I slumped down onto the cold marble floor, the cold marble reminding me about Daehyun and Mr Jung’s reunion in the hospital, how tense that situation was and how I promised Daehyun that I would be with him. In the end, promises were meant to be broken. Times changed and here I was in the same situation, alone. And the insecure me who was so deadly afraid of being alone felt empty and pathetic.

“I am sorry for saying that I was gonna be okay.” I whispered to myself as I gazed at Daehyun’s picture on my phone. 

The time that was so hypocritical of me in the airport as I bade his goodbye with a strong smile on my face that was unfazed probably by the power of love when I knew my heart was going to burst since I persuaded him to go off to Korea with his dad.  The time that we kissed in the airport—our first and last kiss. The taste of his lips still lingered in my mouth that was so near yet I couldn’t grasp the anymore. 

The times that I wanted both of us to meet each other at the beach after our long day of work. 

Whichever way I used to tell myself that this was life, life was harsh and i Needed to deal with it, I still craved for his scent. The person I loved so much, having been sent away by me was a harsh reality that I had brought upon myself but this was love, we needed to make sacrifices. We were both going to be unhappy but time heals wounds. It would be even better if I even chose to forget Daehyun and if I saw him on the streets, we would give each other no sign of recognition because we both ended. We would part ways for the best. Love wasn’t just about us, it was about everyone. 

And although I could so easily let these words slip through my mouth, I still wanted to say.

“I want you back.” 

Okay guys! This story has been completed. Thank you so much for staying with me and please support my next story “Insecurities and Love”