Chapter 55

Hongbin looked down at his wrists that were still red and sore from the tug of war that took place just before he made the final decision to go with Leo. It was on an impulse and he knew too that he would get in a lot of trouble not only with his mother but also with catching up with his schoolwork. It was not that he would be spending a whole week off for a sudden vacation, but one day was still a lot for him especially since he had school duties on top of his studies as well. Not to mention, he also wanted to find some time to meet up with Sanghyuk and treat him as he always had. He figured that that was the best way to get the younger to feel comfortable around him and hopefully open up to him again.

Hongbin sighed and rubbed at the red hand mark circling around his left wrist. Leo's grip, in comparison to his brother, was undoubtedly more painful. The latter probably did not mean to hurt him since Leo was normally heedful of him –

He raised his head as he heard footsteps nearing him and noticed that Leo was heading towards where he was seated with a paper bag on one arm. He opened his mouth to speak, but Leo had passed the paper bag to him without a word. "What's... What's this, hyung?" He asked after swallowing, cautious about sneaking a peek inside the warm paper bag.

Leo sipped from his cup of latte and took a deep breath. "Food. You should eat," he said before putting a hand inside the paper bag and digging out what seemed to look like a croissant.

Hongbin eyed him, dumbfounded. "You didn't have to... You even bought me a ticket..." Leo did not answer him after that and only started to stuff the croissant inside his mouth. Hongbin was still reluctant as he continued to observe the former, but his mouth was beginning to water at just the mere sight and smell of food that was coming directly from the paper bag on his lap. He then snuck a hand inside as Leo did earlier on and got himself a muffin. It was not exactly what he was craving for at the moment, but food was still food and he was hungry. Just as he was about to take the first bite, Hongbin halted all of a sudden and casted a look at Leo again. "Hyung... Why was Ravi trying to stop you earlier on?" He murmured, his fingers wrapping tighter around the muffin. "I... I've never seen him like that in a long time..." Hongbin admitted when memories of his and Wonsik's past invaded his mind.

When Leo seemed like he would not be answering, Hongbin continued to ask him, "Did you two fight about something before or –" He stopped speaking all of a sudden, having realised that he was prodding too much in something that does not necessarily need his involvement. Hongbin frowned at his actions before shaking his head. "Never mind... Thanks for the food, hyung..." He whispered and then took a bite on the freshly baked muffin.

It took them quite some time to reach their destination and they had to take a lot of detours since they got lost a couple of times. Hongbin knew that if he were in Leo's shoes, he would have already been frustrated and angry about every single mistake that they have made along the way, but, to his surprise, Leo was quiet and seemingly calm the entire time. Hongbin wished that he had the patience to stay cool at such events like Leo did, but he also figured that out of the two of them, Leo held himself back a lot. He could tell this by the way that Leo would clench his fists whenever they got told that they went the wrong direction or the way Leo would bite down on his chapped lips each time that he had to resort to calling the busy Jaehwan to ask for directions. Hongbin was almost afraid to speak up or even make a small squeak as he was afraid that it might cause Leo's fuse to blow up. Nevertheless, in the end, they found Jaehwan's parents' place.

Hongbin did not expect much. Of course, his N-hyung would not be there and of course, Leo would hold back the disappointment on his face in front of Jaehwan's parents. But despite Leo's efforts in hiding away what he was truly feeling, Jaehwan's mother tried to comfort both of them anyway and offered that they stay over for the night since the sun had already set and it would take a lot of time and energy to head back to the city again. Hongbin was hesitant, but with reminding himself that he already decided to go with Leo anyway, he might as well just stick with him.

Dinner came in no time – Jaehwan's mother was kind enough to give them bowls and bowls of food to eat and still, there was no signs of N. Leo was beginning to feel uneasy and Hongbin could observe it from the way that he refused the extra servings that Jaehwan's parents kindly offered to him with the excuse of: 'I'm already full,' when he barely had eaten anything.

The rest of the night, Leo passed time waiting inside Jaehwan's and N's shared room. Hongbin heard him murmuring something along the lines of, 'Smells like his shampoo...' as he lied on N's mattress. He also said something like, 'He really planned to leave this time around, huh?' which Hongbin thought was directed at him, considering that Leo might be aware that he stepped inside the room to check up on him.

"Yeah..." Hongbin answered softly, eyes falling on the tightly zipped bags near the door. "Hyung... I know that it's not my place to tell you what to do or feel but... Maybe it's really time to let N-hyung go...?" He looked down at his feet and fiddled with the hem of Jaehwan's shirt that the idol's mother lent him. "Don't you think you've chased him enough already...? He also kept running away from you and..." Hongbin took a deep breath, "Are you even connected to him? A part of me believes that you would not waste your time and energy on someone who is not the person at the other end of your thread – You told me that before, I think...? But another part of me doubts that you two are you know... Especially with Wonsik's confusing words and roundabout ways of answering my questions when it came to the red threads. He told me: 'Believe what you want to believe' or something like that and also, 'Don't just believe everything that people tell you.'" He shrugged his shoulders and sat down, legs crossed, on Jaehwan's mattress. "He's contradicting himself, but... Hyung... Which one is it, really? Who is the person at the end of your thread? Is it N-hyung or not...?"

"It's not him..." Leo responded right away, shifting his body a little so that he was lying on his side. "And I don't think he would be coming back here either... He's gone."

Hongbin wanted to apologise and try to change the subject, but no words came and the room simply grew quiet after Leo heaved a sigh. Indeed, it was like history repeating itself again – Hongbin was already familiar with the way that Leo was acting. He would no longer be surprised if when morning comes around and N was still gone, that Leo would return to his reserved and aloof self. It was one of the reasons why the two of them grew apart over the past several years and Hongbin wished that he was as thick-skinned and stubborn as his brother to actually keep on trying to connect with a detached Leo. Unfortunately, he was not his brother and his brother was not him. This fact is also evident in the way that his own mother would treat Wonsik in comparison to him. There was nothing that he could do about it and he had grown tired of having to stress himself over it. The only thing that Hongbin could change now in his life was his present self and his perspective on the current – He could only quietly support and encourage Leo now and also patiently wait for Sanghyuk.

Now that Hongbin's thoughts wandered off to Sanghyuk, he finally remembered the letter that N handed him earlier. Hongbin got up from the mattress to collect the said letter from his bag and immediately found it. He d