Chapter 50

"Hyung, are you –"

N padded briskly towards Sanghyuk's direction and snatched both the folder and the sheet of paper from him right away. He slipped the paper back in the folder before he grabbed his bag and shoved the folder inside of it. "Please don't touch my things," N said through his teeth as he locked his backpack.

Hongbin, who stood by the other side of the bed, only stared as the events unfolded right before him. Everything happened too quickly that he got lost somewhere along the way. He would have already asked Sanghyuk why N was acting so blatantly obvious with trying to hide his documents even from him, but N's phone started to vibrate and ring, not allowing him to do so.

N's facial expression had softened up when he whispered a soft apology for raising his voice slightly just a while ago. He then pulled the charger off of Jaehwan's phone and greeted the caller, "Ken-ah~! I've been waiting for you – no, no – I'm – I'm at the hotel now, I'm fine. The doctor told me that I just needed to rest – and no, you don't have to come here and ditch your work. I will actually slice you up if you do!" N giggled, already off at his own little world while Hongbin only watched as Sanghyuk stared at the floor, his fist clenched and his facial expression unreadable.

"Yeah, I'll be leaving tomorrow," N told the idol, his back facing the two. "I already informed your parents about it so don't worry too much – yeah, I'll be heading back tomorrow. Do you have the time to see me off?" He tapped his fingers on the small table in front of him as he listened to Jaehwan's answer and explanation. "Ahh, so it's like that... Let's meet few minutes before we see the others, okay? I think..." N hummed to himself as he thought through both of their schedules. "I think that 30 minutes is enough to talk. Is that okay? Oh and bring some of the stuff that I brought to your dorm with you tomorrow if you can. There are some cooking tools that I left at your place. I still need to return them to your mother," he chuckled. "I do admit that I'm a little bit disappointed that I couldn't make you some food. Maybe next time!"

While N listened to the idol's suggestion about visiting him at his hotel room later when he finishes his schedules, he also took that chance to glance over his shoulder. Sanghyuk was still stuck at the last spot that N saw him at and Hongbin had his head low by the opposite side of the bed. N knitted his eyebrows at the thought of their distance but he returned his attention back to the idol as soon as he had finished speaking, "No, Ken, just rest after your schedule. I don't want you coming all the way here when we're seeing each other tomorrow anyway – No! It's not that I don't want to see you! You know that! And stop teasing me!" The next time that he checked up on the two, he noticed that they still remained idle. "Anyway, let's talk later. I need to do something. Goodbye, Ken – Mhm, bye bye! Eat lunch!"

Straight after the call ended, N placed the phone back on the table and plugged in the charger once again. He sighed and turned to see Sanghyuk still standing at the same place. "Hyukkie..." N started, approaching him quietly. "Sanghyuk, I'm sorry..." He whispered to him, hand cupping the latter's cheek.

Sanghyuk, however, just moved away from his touch and murmured, "You're planning to leave again, aren't you? You wouldn't contact us again after this, right...? Does Ken-hyung even know?" He finally lifted his head up and was met with N's surprised look. "Hyung, please stop... We care about you and want to be able to talk with you or at least ask how you are. So please... Don't leave us..."

Hongbin whipped his head to their direction as soon as he heard what Sanghyuk just said. He did not know why the latter was bringing the subject up in the first place but he could only deduce that it had to do with what he had seen.

"It's... It's not that, Hyuk-ah..." N told him, putting his hands on his shoulders and slowly pushing him down to sit on the bed. "I have yet to speak to Ken about this, but yes, I'm planning to move out of their place..." He sat down next to the younger and gestured at Hongbin to sit down with them. Hongbin, however, declined the offer and sat by the opposite side instead. "I'm trying to be independent but that doesn't mean that I would cut off contacts with you or Ken or anyone. Do you understand? How could I even –"

"Hyung, are you lying right now...?" Sanghyuk muttered, his hands turning into fists on his lap once again. "I want to trust you, but why is that I find it hard to do that now? Why is it that even though you're in here, you still feel so far away? I just don't get it, hyung! I don't know why I feel this way at all!" Hongbin sent a worried look when Sanghyuk's voice got louder, "I'm trying to act like how we did before and yet, I feel like all you did ever since you came back is reject me! What did I ever do to you? Why...?"

As Sanghyuk's voice faltered, N scooted closer to him and wrapped his arms around him. It made Hongbin's heart leap inside his chest and had to avert his gaze right away. "I'm sorry... I'm really sorry for making you feel that way... I trust you and I trust Hongbinnie too... I understand that it's difficult to believe the things that I say and I don't blame you or anyone for it..." N calmly told the younger as he ran soothing circles on his back. "A lot of time had passed and you've grown to be really tough and handsome without me seeing how you got to be who you are now. Sometimes, I regret that I haven't been around with you as you grew up, but seeing you now, I also think that you wouldn't be who you are now if I had stayed... I'm really proud of you, Hyuk-ah... I really am..." He raised his hand and went on to ruffle Sanghyuk's hair. "I'm proud of you too, Hongbin-ah... Thank you for taking care of Hyuk –"

"I... I didn't," Hongbin spoke over him, causing N to halt his actions to glance at him. "I didn't do anything... All I've ever done is give him more problems to think about... I... didn't take care of him as I should have..."

"I don't need anyone to take care of me!" Sanghyuk shouted out of the blue, alarming the other two. "I can take care of myself just fine and you didn't give more problems!" He said, directing it at Hongbin. "Stop deciding and concluding things on your own when you know nothing!"

Hongbin balled his hands into fists and stood up. "That's not something you should be telling me when all you've been doing is second guessing what I feel!" He yelled back at him, unable to hold back what he was feeling about the situation. "What do you know about what I feel, huh, Hyuk? What would you know?" There was a moment of silence for a little while as N looked between them with full-blown eyes. Though before Sanghyuk could even open his mouth, Hongbin already began to collect his things. He mumbled something along the lines of, "I'm sorry, hyung... I forgot that I had something to do... I'll see you tomorrow before you go." Even N was not able to stop him as he was already storming out of the door. After the loud slam, only silence filled the room and Sanghyuk was back to hanging his head low.

"Do you want to tell me about it...?" N said softly as he watched the younger biting on his lip. He was about to get up and fetch Sanghyuk a glass of water when he