Chapter 12

Leo's eyes snapped open. It was 3 in the morning and it was around 1 when he woke up. Ever since then, he was not able to go back to sleep and he was left to think about plenty of things that bothered him. He thought about every bit and pieces of information that he had and realised that most of them did not even add up together. Leo shook N's shoulder slightly, earning a soft groan from his lifelong friend. "N-ah, wake up," He said.

N groggily stretched his arms. "Is it time to go now, Leo-yah?" He mumbled sluggishly.

"Where do your sisters study, N-ah? The two of them?" Leo asked the sleepy N. It was an odd question to be asking at that time, but he absolutely needed to know.

N groaned and shifted his body to the opposite side, turning his back at Leo. "They're both in university... Go back to sleep, Leo. We still have school tomorrow..." There was a minute of utter silence before N immediately sat up with his eyes wide. "I-I mean –"

"How many times have you lied to me?" Leo did not even look at him; it was as if he already lost faith in whatever his lifelong friend would say after, but he interrogated him nonetheless. He remembered his first few days when N had introduced himself to him and one of his tactics was to pretend that Leo had made him cry. It all seemed like a sick joke now that he looked back at the old days. "How many times, Hakyeon?" Leo asked once again, a little harsher, that his lifelong friend flinched.

"I-I'm sorry, Leo," N tried to apologise, "I-I didn't mean it that way. You misunderstood! I-I told you that I lost her, but... B-But not in that way! I-I-I– I can't explain –"

Leo merely shook his head, not allowing N to continue whatever excuse he had. "How. Many. Times?" He repeated in the same cold tone of voice.

N just shrunk under the covers as if it would save him from being attacked with so many questions that he had been trying so hard to avoid. It was true that he had lied about loads of things, but it was only because he did not want to be lonely and left out. He had lied and told lots of false information to people; N had deceived so many people that he could barely count all of them. But he did not lie this time around. Leo had completely misunderstood him. He simply wished to be wanted, like everybody else – He was envious that everybody loved Leo or Hongbin or even Sanghyuk. N did not especially like his skin and he probably would never learn how to. It was his very skin colour that was the reason why everyone would disregard him, avoid him and pretend that he does not exist. To Leo's eyes, N does exist and he knew, too, from the beginning that it was only because he forced the boy to be his 'friend' and now, his 'lifelong friend.' Guilt would sometimes overcome ever fibre of his being, but he would force himself to believe that if Leo never really wanted to his friend then why would he even bother calling N by his real name that day?

When Leo reached out to touch his lifelong friend's shoulder and maybe force him to look at him, N winced. N avoided the touch as if he already sensed it. N knew; he knew that he would be thrown away and that Leo would never want to see his face ever again. It was a painful scenario that would constantly repeat itself in his head ever since he had grown fond of Leo. He dreamt of himself screaming for his lifelong friend, tears spilling from eyes as he cry for him to come back. However, Leo would not even spare him a glance or any goodbyes.

N anxiously bit down on his bottom lip before he softly mumbled, "Just go to sleep... We'll talk about it some other time..." And as he expected and feared, Leo did not say anything in return. They fell asleep that way, with heavy hearts and an awkward atmosphere.

The next time that N woke up, he thought that everything would be okay between the two of them and that a simple discussion was all that was needed to mend whatever he had broken. However, contrary to his hopes, he was given a cold shoulder. N greeted Leo with a sickeningly sweet tone of voice accompanied by a smile wider than it had ever been on his face. But even with that, Leo did not say a word to him. Instead