Chapter 44

'Are you feeling better now?' Wonsik typed in his phone after about 26 minutes had passed since his text mate last replied. He hesitated about messaging him again at first since he thought that maybe Jaehwan's manager already found him or that he fell asleep or – Wonsik shook his head to rid himself of thoughts that he did not even want to imagine. He rolled on his back and sighed while he stared at the same screen as he had been for the last (now) 27 minutes. For a few seconds, his eyes flitted across the room for his brother and he found him already sleeping soundly, a small smile lingering on his lips. It almost made Wonsik feel envious because he was already close to the person at the end of his string. Although at the same time, Wonsik felt relieved because he did not really want to meet the person at the end of his own string. He was contented with the way things are – at least, he kept trying to convince himself that –

'Mhm~ Thank you so much~~ I don't think I would have felt this better if it weren't for you...' suddenly appeared below Wonsik's text message's bubble. It was shortly followed by, 'I think I've decided what I'm going to do for sure,' just when he was already typing a reply. And because of that message, Wonsik stopped typing altogether and waited for the subsequent text messages from Jaehwan. 'My fans trust me a lot and I don't want to betray them by acting the way that I am now. I could only imagine how disappointed they would feel if they hear that I've been skipping my schedules.' Wonsik scrolled his screen up so he could read the newer replies, 'And I don't want to drag him into this either... I've asked him about his future plans and all he said was that he would take care of my parents in my stead... I'm like a brother to him.'

Wonsik chewed on his cheek as he constantly kept scrolling back and forth to re-read all of his text mate's words again. 'Why?' He answered in an impulse. But he quickly punched in a follow-up, 'Didn't you say that he was the only one for you?'

'But I'm not the only one for him,' was Jaehwan's immediate reply.

Wonsik had to stop for a moment to think before he said, 'You can be.'

'Not a chance~~^^' his text mate told him. 'Besides, I think that things are better off this way. Don't you think so? He will be happy with hyung and I will work hard for my fans! And you...' Wonsik blinked when it took some time before the continuation popped up in his screen, 'We should meet! I want to meet you~>< I've always been wondering what you look like or what your voice sounds like. You've already seen me on TVs, magazines, billboards and other advertisements. My songs, interviews and radio shows could easily be found online too. It's kinda not fair that you're the only one who knows my appearance and voice!!'

Wonsik snorted. 'Not a chance back at you~^^' He cheekily sent. 'I don't need to meet a celebrity. It's troublesome.'

'But we've known each other before I even became one!! ><' Jaehwan responded. 'We can meet somewhere private if you want. I know many places! But then again... I'm busy. I could barely meet him or visit my parents...'

'Just imagine me as an old man,' Wonsik grinned as he typed. 'Who knows maybe I am really just an old man pretending to be who I claim to be ㅋㅋ'

'That's impossible!!' He received a quick answer. 'You're definitely younger than me! Because I said so!! ><'

'Fine.. Fine,' Wonsik told him before he went back to check their previous exchanges. A sigh left him. 'I might fall asleep, J...'

'Then sleep~~~'

'We can talk a bit more,' Wonsik replied to him through his already half-lidded eyes. 'Tell me anything.'

'Bedtime story??' His text mate instantly said. 'I thought you were comforting me!!'

Wonsik yawned and his side. 'I am.. I'll read what you have to say. Hurry before I fall asleep!'

'Eh??' Jaehwan sent him only after a few seconds. 'It's timed?? Okay, okay. What did you think of my recent album? You know... It was difficult when I was recording it... Took a bit of time releasing it because I couldn't sing it right... It turned out well in the end though, right?? ><' The remains of Wonsik's smile dropped as he read through the series of messages, 'But I'm not telling you these things so you could pity me!! I just don't think I've told you or anyone about it... I've overcome it so whatever happens, you should keep on doing your best, move forward!! >< Don't give up on what you want to do, okay?? Promise me! Don't tell me that you're already asleep?? This guy... Seriously ㅋㅋ'

'I'm still here.. Must have been hard... You did well! ^^' Wonsik responded to him and squeezed his eyes close. "I don't even know what I'm doing or what I should be doing... Can I still keep moving forward even when I don't know where I'm going...?" He sighed again and shifted on his bed, burying his face on his pillow and groaning. "I hate you... I hate you... But I can't... I can't..." Wonsik turned his head to his right to read his phone's screen and saw that his text mate already replied. "Because of you... I can't sleep..."

'Just sleep ^^ Dream of the sweetest dream! And by that, I mean the ice cream that I ate and the one you never got to eat!!' was what Jaehwan's message contained. 'Goodnight~~ It was just a joke, okay??^^'

"I get it already..." Wonsik mumbled drowsily. "I get it..."

Wonsik woke up with a gasp. His eyes were shot open and he was covered in sweat. His brother was just right beside his bed, wearing a very worried expression. And instead of asking if Wonsik was okay, Hongbin immediately offered him a glass of water that he brought with him earlier on. Once Wonsik nodded, the latter had helped him drink from it. "Thanks," he rasped and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. Wonsik only noticed then that Hongbin was already dressed up and groomed. "Where are you going?"

Hongbin had set aside the empty glass first before he sat down on his brother's bed, next to him. "Going to meet Hyuk, N-hyung and Leo-hyung," he answered. "I'd take you with me but I don't even know if you would want to go. And even if you did want to go, I don't think she'll allow you to..." When Wonsik only nodded his head, Hongbin sighed and scooted closer to him. "I'm sorry about what happened... About Ken-hyung and for pushing you to the point that I'm invading. I didn't want it to come out like that but I... I wanted to just let you know that even if I can't help, I could listen to you. We're brothers, right? So you can depend on me."

"That's so unlike you," Wonsik teased. "Hyuk's bee