Choi Joon Young - Frozen Heart

Jongin was sitting inside his car driving down the road heading for the painting store. Since she didn`t want to come along he thought of going on his own, this was the least he could for her. She had been through a lot, seen things she shouldn`t have seen, heard things she shouldn`t have heard and most certainly shouldn`t have felt those feelings she had felt. Even if painting that cherry blossom tree inside her room wouldn`t turn back time, wouldn`t fix the wounds he had made in her heart and wouldn`t make her accept him; he wouldn`t mind doing that one little favor for his daughter.

When he made it to the store he got out of his car and strode inside. He picked the stripes of colors he was going to buy and was about to head to the cash register when a couple caught his eye. He noticed the man holding his wife`s hand as her stomach had grown, her hand caressing her big belly. “I think baby blue will fit better for his room don`t you think?” The man showed the woman the stripe with different shades of blue and she complied smiling brightly.

Jongin`s eyes remained on the two remembering how they would go out clothes shopping for their little Kyuri, who was patiently waiting inside her mother`s belly. He would never let go of her hand, watching her every step, taking care of her every needs and spending as much time as possible with her as her hormones made her cry when he didn`t. A weak smile placed his lips, he surely missed those times, he surely missed having her around and he most certainly missed….her.

“May I help you, sir?” A boy younger than him stepped towards Jongin and he snapped his gaze away from the couple towards the little boy before him.

“Y-yeah” he smiled sheepishly buying the paints he needed and walked out of the store again. While putting away the items he had bought in the trunk he sat inside the car again; making his way home. While driving his thoughts made him go to different places as he didn`t pay attention to the road anymore. When he suddenly snapped back to reality he felt his heart in his throat seeing where he had managed to drive. Out of habit, a habit he hadn`t let go of for these past couple of years made him always drive towards that one place. He was driving towards the village he once lived at.

He thought about stopping and turning around, but he felt so bad for not being at her funeral as he should have been. That`s was the least he could do; send her off with his blessings, hoping she would be accepted in the heavens; even if he knew she was already accepted there from day one. He had never known such a forgiving and loveable person his whole life; that’s what draw him to her in the first place, that`s why he made her his.

It sure was late and Jongin knew already that he would arrive home later than he had told Yumi, but he didn`t care. He was going to visit her grave whether she stayed home worried or not. She could worry for a couple of hours for what he cared. She, the person he abandoned had worried for 12 years when he left; Yumi could handle a couple of hours.

He finally made it to the village he once called home. He still wouldn`t mind calling it home though, he had learned to love it and cherish the simplicity about this place. That`s what he liked; the bond between the villagers, the love between them and the feeling of being cared about. He liked all of that. It wasn`t like this where he lived now, people around him barely cared to talk if they sat next to each other at the bus.

He got out of the car slowly only to set his eyes on the house that used to be his before. It sure had changed as Joonmyun had been taking care of it. He stood before the house seeing his little girl playing right outside with him, they were playing tag as that was her favorite thing to do with her father. She loved it when he used to tickle her instead of tapping his hand on her body telling her she