♦SooMi♦

I was sitting in my room, just chillling, playing guitar when I heard a bang. I shot my head up wondering what the sound was.

"SOOMI!"

JaeBeom? What's he doing here? What's wrong? Why is he so loud?

I put down my guitar, got up from bed and walked to the front door. I shut one eye and glanced through the peephole to make sure it really was JaeBeom. I was a little frustrated because he keeps pounding on the door.

"Yah JaeJae! Stop that! You're gonna break the door!" I yelled as I opened the door, but I saw JaeBeom rush in and hug me without hesitation. I couldn't breathe. He was crushing my spine.

"JaeBe- JaeJae...I can't bre- JaeJae...let go..." I managed to get out.

"No" I was surprised...normally he would immediately let me go and apologize with aegyo. But he just kept on holding me.

"Jae? What's going on?" I asked when I finally pulled myself away.

"I don't know...you tell me" he said. I could hear the frustration in his voice. I have a bad feeling about this...

"What are you talking about?"

"You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about, SooMi!" he yelled. I jumped.

"JaeBeom..." I started.

"I already know about it, so just say it out loud!" he screamed, tears running down. "I won't believe it unless I hear it from you..." he started trailing off into a whisper. Soon gasps and sobs filled the quiet air.

Knows about it? He knows about it? No...he can't...he shouldn't know...

"Jae..."

"Just say it already!" he was getting angry...I sighed. I can't stand seeing him like this. I looked up, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath while holding in tears. I waited a few seconds before speaking.

"I..." I started. I looked at JaeBeom who started shutting his eyes, and with each word, he slowly covered his ears. "...have...cancer." when I said the last word, he bit his lip and started silently crying harder. Eyes still shut and ears still covered, he started shaking his head as if denying every word he heard. I took a step forward and put my hands on his hands which were still trying to block his hearing. He flinched when he felt my touch and opened his scared eyes. I looked into them and saw the worry...the fear.

I slowly brought his hands down into mine and hugged him.

"Why? Why is this happening? Why didn't you tell me?" he whispered, finally.

"Jwesonghamnida" I whispered back, running my fingers through his hair. I kissed the tip of his nose. "Mianhae...mianhae...I'm so sorry..." I apologized with each kiss I left on his face.

After some silent tears, JaeJae calmed down and we sat down on the couch. He was sitting next to me, holding my hand while I rested my head on his shoulder. His head was on my head while he kept playing with my hand.

"So...what happens now?" he asked me.

"You're not gonna like it..." I told him.

"SooMi...you have cancer...what could be worse? Even if your situation worsens, I already know I'm not gonna like it." he said to me.

"....I'm leaving for America." he lifted his head and looked at me. I didn't change my position and still laid my head on his shoulder, looking forward. After a while, he went and laid his head back on my mine and continued my hand.

"Haha...America, huh?" he faked a laugh. "H-how long?" he stuttered. I started shaking my head, still looking straight ahead.

"Who knows? Haha because I don't" I faked my own laugh. "Doctor said it could be a year..." When JaeBeom didn't say anything, I looked up at him. "JaeJae..."

"What?" he said as if he were snapped out of a trance.

"Are you...worried about us?"

"Huh? Us? Haha..." Again, with the fake laugh.

"JaeBeom..." I said still looking at him. "There's nothing to worry about...we'll be fine...I'm just going to America to get better. I'll be back in no time and we'll be just like how we were before all this happened." I tried putting on a reassuring smile...it was so hard, just to turn up the corners of my mouth.

"It's not us, I'm worried about." he started off. "It's you. I'm worried about you. I can't go with you." I already knew that. I already knew that he couldn't go with me. But just hearing it actually slip from his lips, hit my heart...hard.

"I know."

"I can't be there to watch over you."

"I know."

"I can't be there to help take care of you...I can't be there to support you..."

"I know."

"I can't be there to watch you get better...I can't be there to cheer you up, when you're down...I can't be there to hug you...I can't be there to kiss you...I can't be there to hold you...

"I know JaeBeom, I know."

"I can't be there to just to be with you..." When he said that...that's when I realized that I really didn't know all these things that he was saying. I mean, I already knew that he can't go with me...but I never thought about it the way he just said it. Maybe I did think about it, but I just ignored it because I didn't want believe it.

"I...I know..." I said looking down. I did know. I really did. No...I really won't know until he's not beside me.

"SooMi..."

"Ne?" I looked up at JaeJae and he kissed me. He put his arms around my waist and sat me on top of him. I clasped my hands around his neck and intertwined my fingers. This kiss was different from the others. It was sad...lonely...painful. But at the same time...still full of love and hope. He carried me to my room without breaking the kiss and laid me on my bed. His hands slid up my shirt and he started feeling my body. Soon both of our clothes were off and we were, what people would call, "making love". But you know what? It actually hurt this time. It felt good, but it hurt. It was painful...emotionally...

A/N: Hey guys ^^ Well you already know what's going on in the last paragraph so I didn't really go too far into that. And I'm sorry if I made some of my readers uncomfortable with that kind of stuff...I just didn't really feel that I needed to mark my story as Rated H since I only BRIEFLY cover that topic.

Well anyway...how do you guys like the new poster???? Haha I finally was able to get around to making one so I did! xD And yes, the three pictures of the girl are all supposed to be SooMi...I know one of the pictures has a girl with black hair but whatever xD LOL I actually made the the pics of SooMi and JaeBeom have some sort of theme. The top row is supposed to have a winter theme, while the middle row has SooMi and JaeBeom wearing headphones/earphones. LOL I don't know why I picked those themes, but I just did xP Hope you like it >w<

And sorry I haven't updated lately ><